How did Jesus walk on water? Jesus is God in the form of a man, and he is the only human being ever with the ability to perform miracles

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A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed here!" A 14 year old walks out of a bar.

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I donated to Kony 2012. Litterally to Kony. I approve of his actions.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? They threw a fridge at her.

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The government makes a good decision

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what did the noob say to the gamer your a gamer nooob

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -The Pizza you ordered. -Oh thank you very much. -That'll be $10. -Here you go. -Thank you very much, sir. Enjoy your meal.

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Why did the boy wear glasses? Because he had bad eyesight.

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Knock knock Who's there? It's me, Dave. You still wanna go to the movies? Oh, yeah...let me grab my wallet.

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Nah, its fine, I just went to get a popsicle, and its square, so don't get any ideas. Honestly? When I first met "some jerk" calling himself Nero here, I began calling myself Nero, because I thought that the jerk that turned out to be you, Nero himself, sigh. was screwing over his own reputation. But now I realize that what makes you who you are, is that you say whats on your mind without going "oh no what will others think about me, what if this or that happens", you accept yourself for who you are, and if the rest do not, well screw them right? As you told me at first and proved to me during our conversations, you respect and value individuality and integrity. And well, you are a guy, you think like a guy (I honestly dont think we girls think that differently, we are simply socially indoctrinated or "engineered" in order to think that we do), I mean let me say something really honest here. Nero, I only dare say this once, so take me seriously I really want you to fuck me, and yeah, I may say that when we meet too, considering I have not even said it yet, just in my head... Anyway, its not something I am insecure about nor ever was and blahblahblah, the end, oh, and yeah, I really want and need a friend like you.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Me Me who? Oh sorry forgot you had alzheimers :/

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What did Sarah Palin say as she gazed to the West? "I really wish my daughter hadn't gotten pregnant."

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm colorblind

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it got hit by a truck before it got to the other side.

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If there are 3 apples, and you take 2, how many do you have? BLAM! Texas castle law, motherfukker!

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A black guy gets a job...

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Why did Billy die? His mother killed him.

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what do you do when you see a black man punching a girl? act like you dont see it and get the hell out of harms way

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How do you make an antijoke corny. How? Corn.

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Knock knock Who's there? No one, you have no friends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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