A kid walks into the car and the dad says, "Wear your seatbelt".

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A plane crashes near an uncharted island with a low supply of fresh water and hardly any animals, except for a few deadly ones. How do the survivors live until rescuers show up? -There were no survivors from the plane crash

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. The stewardess calls secret service and has the man arrested.

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What do you call a someone who steals from a black guy? A thief.

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How do you make a mime cry? Hit him with an axe

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That awkward moment when a sentence doesn't end the way you thought it gay unicorn

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James: They say attitudes are contagious. Bill: How do you know? James: My whole family caught it and they will all die within 2 weeks.

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Q:What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

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Today, we will be identifying power tools. This is not a drill.

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I Like my women like i like my wine, 6 years old and locked in the cellar

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Where do five gay guys walk? Where ever they choose to. this is a free country, where people are free to travel as they please, despite what their sexual orientation may be. Jerk.

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What do you call double A's? Batteries

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Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

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Knock Knock! EXPLOSION!!!!

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? It varies. Alzheimer's is a very slow progressing disease, and many people suffering from it are capable of a wide variety of a number of everyday activities.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? ... A boy played in mud.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he has no arms.

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A man keeping specific track of time,eagerly waits for a punch line.

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what did the chicken say to the vet? nothing chickens dont talk

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what did the baby say to his mum? he sed bfirbvuirnvkjwmndckie

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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Q. why did the black man cross the road? A. Cause there is no law saying he cant

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A ninja is walking down the street then he...finds a puppy a names him rex

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Three muffins are walking next to each other in the dessert. The muffin on the right says "Hey now it's my turn to walk in the middle!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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