A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter anyway because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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How do you make a clown sad? You hit him in the face with axe

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What do u firmly grasp and stroke until u can't go any longer? A shakeweight....

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Why did the boy laugh? Mr Tickle was his babysitter

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If the goverment wants us to be eco friendly then why are the eco friendly cars so expensive?

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Dey see me boilin' Dey choppin' God I'm so fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juiiiiiiccccy! MR MCCANN

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What's worse than a black guy? Two black guys....and a dead white man.

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What's worse than finding a Holocaust in your apple? The worm

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Knock knock Who's there? The Land Lord The Land Lord who? I am here to evict you.

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A Ferrari Enzo and a Toyota Prius were having a street race. The Driver of the Ferrari died after he was hit by a bus.

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Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have amnesia, i'm Skepta

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Nero, its not that, people are leaving left and right, you where right when you told me that I was holding into the remains of a rotting corpse, the underground society is dead and money alone will never bring it back, but I got the funds and you the talent, is there nothing that can be achieved? You are a lawyer, you write novels, you live a family life, you work for who the hell knows what organization, is this what you traded your, or if I may say, our legacy for? I dont suspect you Nero, I am disappointed in you, part of me wishes you where a backstabber, rather than the one that just quit.

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A tall German man and a short Ukrainian woman walk into a pub and sit down for a drink. The German, not wanting to seem rude, asks the Ukrainian how her day has been. The Ukrainian smiles confusedly as she doesn't understand German.

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Knock knock. Who's there? James. James who? You know, from across the road? But where's the punchline? This isn't a joke. Isn't it? No. Can you still add a punchline? OPEN THE DOOR!

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What has 4 eyes, but can't see? 2 blind people.

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A muslim walks into a bomb store. He is a police officer and quickly arrests the owners of the store because of the obvious legal violations.

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what is funnier than 24.....?????? 69. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. IT IS FUNNY BECAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE ME AND YOUR MAMA

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if a fat guy in a red suit comes into your house on christmas. its not santa your about to get raped from chewy(:

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There once was a man from Madrass Whose balls were made out of brass This was incredibly uncomfortable and embarrassing for him. It also affected his sexual potency and rendered him infertile, Which drastically affected his ability to enter and sustain relationships with women.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon.

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What do you get after putting bread in a toaster? -Toast.

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What did the robot do when a person was shot? Nothing, it wasn't programmed for that situation.

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Chuck Norris' farts are silent and deadly. Deadly because he's Chuck Norris, silent because his butthole is extremely loose

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What do you call a pakistani with a backpack on a plane? A passenger with ordinary hand luggage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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