- Anti Joke

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

why did your mom die? Cuz i killed her

Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at rhyming Refrigerator.

What did the biscuit say when he saw his friend get run over? Oh my god. Dave, are you ok? Somebody call an ambulance.

What is the way to a woman's heart? Through her chest cavity.

What do a van and a pencil have in common? You can write with both, except with the van.

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

I LOVE MASTURBAITING ALL DAY!!!!

Where did Jimmy go after the bombing? Everywhere.

what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the seat next to you? A: Whatever his name happens to be.

Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To hold their pants up.

A. Knock Knock B. Welcome!

what did the homeless kid get for christmas? nothing he probably doesn't know what christmas is

What is the black mans favorite color? -Time for you to get a watch

What did Superman say when he forgot his cape? "Where's my cape?"

Why did a Monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

Why was 6 afraid of seven? seven commited statitory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8, murdered nine, was sent to jail for life, let out early for community service, and told 6 he was coming forhim 6 months later.... 6 commited suicide by jumping off a cliff his body was never found his family didnt get to say good bye thats why 6 is afraid of 7

Need therapy? No you do not, just follow these steps. When someone feels suicidal, I ask them, so what would you do and feel when you are dead? People: First I think ill just chill like this, and then everything would be empty and no more noise like this here "holds hands over ears", and it would all just be black and nice afterwards.... Me: Stay in that state for a while. Human: Gee I am starting to feel better... Me: GEE YOU SUCK KILL YOURSELF NOW! 2. How to CURE PERMANENTLY (not treat over 30 years with no effect) someone that cant say no... First I let my victim enter the room, then I shut the door and shout "SAY NO TO ME YOU FUCKlNG WH000RE!" Victim: NOOOOOOO I CANT! Cured, stop wasting my fucking time NEXT 3. SUUUUUUUURE! Me: So you feel uncertain? Patient: Uh yeah... Me: Are you certain about that? Patient: You are just certain about you being certain which is not possible because you are uncertain NOW DIE! PROTIP: Death is the cure to all disease... NOOOOOOOT! (Postmortem disease no?) 4. I forgot this example. Anyway, I say something smart, you give me thumbs down because you are jelly, and then I eat you and I had some jelly.... I master nonsense, I am the jack of no trades and master of all.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? It depends on their painting skills.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. It was hanging on a clothes line he didn't see, the fact that he was dyslexic is irellevant.

why did the boy die because he got ran over by a tractor

How do you get rid of a pile of dead babies? Call 911 so someone will pick them up and take them to the morgue.

What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The police officers involved were fired and sued by the family, ruining their lives. Months later they both committed suicide.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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