Why doesn't the chicken cross the road Because his dad got ran over by a car when he crossed the road

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Ants are the Velociraptors of the insect world.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the doctor say to the terminally ill patient? Your going to die.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

your mommas so stupid she tried to climb mountain dew well im glad your mom is intrested in trying new things

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the bullied schoolboy do when he got home from school? He cried himself to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a white man takeing orders from a black man? Batman and robin

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do an apple and a banana have in common? They are both not cookies

thumb_up thumb_down -30

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't eat your friends Nose it is!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two black guys walk into a bar. Bartender asks them what they want to drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is worse than a nuke exploding? Going to the hospital and finding out you have cancer and aids.

thumb_up thumb_down

Nero Octavios reporting, so far all of our sectors worldwide excluding Spain, Italy and Ground Zero are secure, Nero Augustus is severely wounded but will make it, and despite the our intel Necrissa Angelo is alive and well. We have one single worry though Nero7 the brunt force of the terror attack was large and powerful, yet resistance was incredibly light when we went for the counter-strike, too light, we might have to ready ourselves for some sort of reprisal here.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: why does batman die in the end of dark night rises? A: he smoked got cancer and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

roses are red, violets are red, ive been shot in the eye with a pelet gun, please ,please help

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Jesse likes to jack off and lick the white stuff off of his balls and digest it

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's 10 + 3 x 22 ? Cake.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a ginger in an oven? A ginger in an oven

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop? After one hour, twelve minutes, and fifty-three seconds, Dave calculated that it approximately took 247 licks.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the man killed before he could finish his anti joke? Because he

thumb_up thumb_down +88

Whats worse than a bee sting? - Two bee stings Whats worse than two bee stings? -The Holocaust Whats worse than the Holocaust? -Three bee stings

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Doctor doctor, I feel like listening to good music. Looks like you need "The Cure" to help with this.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Your ancestors called. They want their glasses back!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops