Elvis presley was taking a poop and couldnt poop cause he was dead.

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steven hawking walks into a bar just kidding he has a horrable disiese preventing him from walking

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What happened when Dave tried to break the record for most marshmallows in the mouth at once? He choked and died.

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What do you call a Muslim running a country? Obama

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What is long, erect, and 12 inches long? A ruler.

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why cant monkeys swim? cause they dont have staberlizers.

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Two fish were lying on a bank. One said "I can't breath." The other one was dead.

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Why are Chinese women such bad drivers? Only company executives are fortunate enough to own cars in communist China. Furthermore, women are still in a subordinate class in many Eastern societies.

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Q: Who visits the dyslexic boy on christmas A: Satan

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Why did Paul Walker cross the road? He wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody, because first, pineapples are too small to fit in, and second, you would drown.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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A man walks into a bar The bar now has a hole in it.

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

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Why is paper white? Cause that's how they make paper.

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why did the baseball player strike out? he forgot the bat

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A black man, an Asian man, and a Mexican man jump off a bridge. They were all suffering from chronic depression and couldn't take the pressures of life anymore.

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who lives in a pinaple under the sea? japanesse people!

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What's worse than the holocaust? Microwaveable jellied horse nipple

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"You two form fours while I get the other one"

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Roses are red, violets are red. Aaaaaahh! My garden's on fire!

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how could you not hav not died of dehyderation?

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How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

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Q. What do you call a deceased rodent A. Deadmau5

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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