How do you get a Jewish man out of a pool? Ask him politely, for I'm sure he's a pleasant and reasonable fellow.

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A deaf man is listening to the radio. Think about it.

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Why was maddison sad Becasue he was born with a fucking gay name

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How do you scare a little boy? You tell him everyone he loves was shot to death by you and then kick his guardian .

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It has been this way for two days now. Whenever he looks over his shoulder and past his wing, he can see them there. Following him. The men with the red eyes. He doesn't know what they want and doesn't want to find out. He crosses that road as he has crossed so many others recently, squawking and shuffling along on his stubby legs, darting through traffic in a risky effort to shake them off of his tailfeathers. He gets to the other side and ascends the curb, walking beak-first into a pair of legs hidden beneath a grey robe. He looks up and sees a pair of eyes like burning coals staring down at him from within the darkness of a hood. He tries to run, but it is too late. He has been taken. His wings and fingers are forfeit.

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ask me what my temperpedic bed is like. ''whats it like?'' i dont know ive never had one actully.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Banana Yoshimoto. A popular Japanese author of the book, Kitchen. She is incredibly talented and it would be a great honor to have her in your house, so you should open your door.

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There was this fruit joke, but it had no punchline.

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A white guy jumps over the fence belonging to a Mexican family

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what happens when you get ben roethlisberger, and a young college student? a very pleasant evening, helping ben cope with all the drama he has been in the past year leading him to the 2011 super bowl against the green bay packers.

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Your mother was a hamster, And your father smelt of ElderBerries!

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Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

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Honey, it really is such a tragedy that my sense of sight doesn't function properly. I've missed out on many beautiful things in my lifetime.

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Yo mama has had so many kidney stones she has to be on a water diet.

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whats worse than 1 bee sting? 2 bee stings. whats worse than 2 bee stings? 3 beestings

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What is an antijoke? Not Knock

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Is your friend gay? Yeah, duh, of course he's happy.

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What happens when you play a country song backwards? Gibberish.

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i like punching orphans in the face, you wanna know why? what are they gonna do? tell their parents???

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Q: What's worse than 10 dead babies in a tree? A: I'm sure there are lots of things.

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What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

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A duck walks into a bar and buys a drink. When the bartender comes up he says put it on my bill

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A bass player walks past a bar. What? It could happen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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