HOLY SHIT, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because people kept making the same joke about her not having arms so she was hoping the fall would break her neck.

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Your momma is so ugly... Yeah, yeah, yeah my momma's ugly, but guess what, at least I'm not an orphan asshole.

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Q: whats worse than a Muslim? A: a Jew

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Whats worse than being fat? Being Rebecca Black

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What's harder than nailing a dead baby on a tree? My dick while doing it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, seeing as the slaughterhouse was directly across the road from the farm where the chicken lived, the man who owned the farm led his flock of chickens across the street when they were of age and fattened up so that they could be inhumanly massacred in order to process an order of chicken nuggets.

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It didn't. It's dead.

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Why was the boys dick hard? Because he stuck it in a hole in the snow.

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Excuses are like assholes: Gay men like to have sex with them.

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What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice

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whats worse than being mentally challenged? losing your arms and legs and finding out that you have cancer

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"Penis, penis, penis..." says Chase. That is all he likes and he fondles horse testes.

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Nice legs, what time do they open the free bar, I'd like to by you a drink.

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Q:What did the Black man say to New York? A: Black Out.

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A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

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Getting an STD. What's worse than mixing up the order of the joke and the punchline?

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K.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON. And Michael Jackson was a child molester.

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If I had 10 cents for every time a hobo asked for change i still wouldn't give him any money

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Why did the gorilla fall on the ground Because it was dead

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Your momma is so fat, she has her own gravitational pull.

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How many pianos does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb, and one to play a motivational tune.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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