Whats funny about a guy with no legs? I bought him a wheelchair.

How did you feel after smoking that joint? I felt like going to pass out And then? I passed out

Roes are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't rhyme, You're entire family has died. The plane that they were on went down due to a flock of geese getting sucked into the engine. They were visiting you for your twenty fifth birthday and wanted to surprise you. there were no survivors.

a horse walks into a blender ow

Why did Sally fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

Why couldn't little Timmy turn in his homework? Because on the way to school little Timmy was hit by a bus

wuts the diference between a black guy and arab? black guy kills whitye guy arab lijkes black guy (no jews or **** thou)

Your mom is so stupid, that she took an IQ test and was proven mentally retarded. Her family is devastated.

I work for a Jewish Carpenter. He pays me minimum wage.

Guess what? What? Your dog is dead.

How does a black woman know she is pregnant? When she pulls her tampon out the cotton is already picked.

Violets are Blue, Roses are Red, skip the bull$%!#, and give me head

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

why did the pinapple walk the plank? to eat a cat because cheese say people!

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -The Pizza you ordered. -Oh thank you very much. -That'll be $10. -Here you go. -Thank you very much, sir. Enjoy your meal.

Whats worse than 10 dead babies In a tub 10 and 1/2

So, you got to take medications daily or die? Are you in pain my dear?

What do you get when you cross a monkey and a fish? An unlikely premise upon which to base a joke

What did the man give his wife for her anniversary? Nothing. The man is a raging alcoholic and forget her anniversary due to his high alcoholic intake during the past few weeks. Even if he did remember he most likely didn't care after seeing his wife cheat on him with another woman putting his marriage into shambles.

Did you know him? Why the anonymous tip?

Nebraska the farmland its the only place for me!! I love the corn and the corn loves me!! I live for the corn and the corn lives for me!!

Who has, there are like... Well actually I might have watched them all, downloaded them in a torrent... A LEGAL torrent of course... NOT. Well, you get a hint, it looks a lot like Mickey Mouse, and its a trick question since Mickey Mouse was not actually drawn by Disney, so yeah.

Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

Why did the chicken cross the road?? Blue.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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