What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sky diving? I don't know, but that sounds like a highly improbable circumstance.

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What did the homosexual eat for breakfast? A light meal consisting of fruit and whole grains, so he could keep his weight down.

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What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Suzie. How is that even possible?

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What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

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YO MAMMA IS SO STUPID, she was recently diagnosed with severe mental retardation and will have to be cared for 24/7

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Two farmers are standing in a field. One says: "It's a bit cold today, don't you think?" The other doesn't reply, because he is trying to work out how to tell the first farmer that his son has just been killed in a road accident.

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what do you call a black pilot? A) a pilot

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What is the difference between my right hand and my left hand? I used my right hand to stab your mother.

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A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf... She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"... The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room... The message was to his mother! She didn't listen and left him... He killed himself because she left him... She killed herself because he killed himself... Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!

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Why was the boy sad? Because a freak accident killed his mum his dad his best friend and he lost both his legs and is unable to feed himself

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How do you not get disappointed at the ending for "Mass Effect 3"? Don't play the game, dumbass.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? a bike

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Provolone

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What did the lover say to his lover? I love you

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What happened to the lady? She queefed.

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Military intelligence.

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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homosexuals are gay

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What is green and if it fell on you from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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A muslim walks out of a plane.

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911 jokes are just plane wrong

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What did the duck say to the moose? Quack

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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