U are with a jew a Christian and a muslim, you walk in chicken shop, thw lights close, and all of a sudden, hitler and a vampire pop up. Which one do you kill? The jew.

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Woman.

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question: why did the dog whine? answer: Because it wanted the freakin bone

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What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

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A man walks into a bar, and says to the bartender, "Do you know where the library is located?" The bartender describes to him that the closest library is three blocks down, next to the red brick building with a green roof.

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What happens if you don't use a condom? The person you are sleeping with may get pregnant or contract some kind of STI or STD. In worse cases you or your partner may contract HIV or possibly AID's.

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Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens rights ;) Wanna hear another joke? Too bad i'm not gonna tell you

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What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

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How many of amanda todd's frinds does it take to change a lightbulb? Trick question, she doesn't have any

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What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

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Do you like flowers NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOW GET ME A COKE! And a pizza

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How many black basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're all rather tall therefore they can reach the light source with ease.

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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What do you say to a disabled man in a lift? Have a nice day.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

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Why was the young girl? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

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What do dragonflies do when they are a couple? One sits on the others head, causing the bottom dragonfly to have a loss of vision, and increases the weight on the bottom dragonfly, which increases the chance of both the dragonflies deaths.

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Santa Claus and eight reindeers walk into a bar. “Hey, fatty,” the barman shouts. “Where’s Rudolph?” “He’s dead,” Santa replied. “I’m sorry to hear that,” the barman said, looking embarrassed. “Let me get you a drink.”

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i know you talk the talk but can you talk the talk

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Why did the girl fall off the swing Because she had no arms Why did the boy drop his ice cream Because he was hit by a truck. and geuss who was driving the truck? The girl with no arms

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Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

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Q. what is the most amazing animal in the world? A. MULLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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Two peanuts walk down the street. One was a salted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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