A man walks into a bar and says Ouch.

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89 bottles of beer on the wall, 89 bottles of beer, if one alcoholic passes the wall, 0 bottles of beer on the wall!

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what do u call a fat guy in a pool u

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

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WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you thro them

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Why did they name the team mavericks and why Was the maskot a horse? Because 50 years ago they found a blue horse And its name was maverick

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Roses are shit Violets are my dick Guess what I do for a living? Sex with refrigerator monkeys!

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why did jimmy fall off the swing? because he was a tree.

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What do you call a dog? A cat. What do you call a cat? A banana.

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What do you get when you cross a canary and a lawnmower? Nothing. A canary is a small bird, and a lawnmower is an inanimate object. Any procreation of this sort would likely produce no offspring.

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so your in a room with mickey mouse and the lights go off, how did the lights go off mickey mouse turned them off

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A Muslim, a Buddhist, and a Christian are on a plain. They have to jump off for some reason. The Muslim straps a bomb to his chest, jumps out of the plain, and screams "AHLA AKBAH"!!!! The Buddhist jumps out and says save me heavenly Buddha. A giant golden hand catches him and lightly places him on land. The Christian says "aw hell with this" and jumps out, then says "save me heavenly Buddha". The giant golden hand places him down gently on land. The Christian then says "thank god". The giant golden hand comes back down and kills him.

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why did my girlfriend get pregnet? i didn's use a condom, and my semen entered her long muscular tube, also known as a vagina.

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Your momma so stupid that it's really inspiring she managed to overcome her limitations and raise such a wonderful family.

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What's brown and sticky? Brown paint.

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Whats worse than finding an actual joke on anti-jokes? A.I.D.S.

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*prepares this to get negative votes*

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How many Azheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

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What did the german get for christmas? an Easy-Bake oven and a G.I. Jew

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What does? 42

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A man walks into a store with a faulty washing machine. He provides a valid guarantee receipt at the customer service desk and it is replaced without an issue

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A man spots Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles. He proceeds to tell his friends the story, who in turn believe him, as the story is plausible.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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