Why was Armando unable to be found by his friend Ashley ? A: They both were murdered 7 years ago, and bodies are unable to do anything if they lost their soul that was with that body.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse than bombs? Nukes

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did Chuck Norris start crying? Because he was in a coma

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? A: Names

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Your momma's so ugly, she has endure self-esteem issues relating to her appearance that have plagued her since grade school.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a dog riding a bicycle? An talented dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Little Johnny asks his teacher "What's 23 times 3?" She yelled, "Be quiet, Johnny, and grow up!"

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What would you like to drink? A Pepsi. Is Coca-Cola okay? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why a man without hands and without legs want to stay in a barrel? He actually doesn't, but is unable to get out of it.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats worst then the Holocaust? Two holocaust's.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

thumb_up thumb_down +23

The French guy and the Italian guy got in the bar at the same time, but they didn't talk as they didn't know each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? a Jew is a person and a pizza is a food

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is similar between women and puzzles? Neither had the right to vote before 1920. Puzzles still don't

thumb_up thumb_down +2

a man in a black van pulls up to a kids house and offers him icecream the kid points out that since it is summer and black absorbs heat, that the icecream will have melted

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What was the reason for the confused looking woman staring at the can of frozen Apple juice for twenty minutes? Some cans are difficult to open: The little ring bit comes off when you pull it, and then you have to work out a new way to open it, which takes patience and ingenuity.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q:What is yellow and has wheels A: A banana I was joking about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -37

have you seen ray charles' house? neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's worse than a holocaust? two holocausts.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why didn't the boy eat his vegetables? he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +14

hey! did u just fall??? ..no..gravity wanted a hug.!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops