Why did the house stink? There were decomposing bodies under the floor boards.

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what is sam ross' favorite word to use in conversation? awesam

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your grandpa's dead So are you.

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Why did Timmy start a fire? Because Timmy was a derranged phycopath

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Why did the Jew pick up the dollar on the side of the road? Because he dropped it.

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why is 6 afraid of 7? haha! because 7 ate 9 no because 7 is black

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Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

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Knock knock! "Who's there?" "It's me, xx" "Okay, come in."

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a dyslexic man walked into a bar, ordered a beer, and no one was aware of his affliction

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Two men are sitting in a pub. One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.' The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidize her drug habit.'

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:(Sneeze) :Bless You :Thank You! :Mention it :Thank You!

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What is worse than a Catholic priest being caught red handed raping 7 kids? 1. Thou shall not steal. 2. Thou shall be kindeth to thy neigbour... 3. Not attending to church is a sin... Moral: Catholic priests need to get their priorities straight... or gay, just not pedo!

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What's brown and smells like poo? Poo.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What starts with ''F" ends in "uck" and usually means excitement? A Firetruck

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are walking down the street when they find a genie. They run away in fear because finding a genie out of nowhere is kinda freaky.

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Steve is an average man. He has a good life, is married and has 2 kids. So why did he have his dog put down? Because it was hit by a car and had 21 broken bones and was in severe pain. Steve thought putting it down was the best thing to do.

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Whats 1 foot long and went in and out of my girlfriend? Our new baby

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What's worse then mud on your shoes. Being assassinated by means of a dart to the throat.

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What is a good remedy for the common cold? A piping hot bowl of chicken-noodle soup.

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I believe that as long as we do not change, as we decide to believe in ourselves and use our strength and potential, all that is left, is to see which side fate favors. Maybe we are meant to survive trough our strength and belief in ourselves and each other, or maybe we are, or will eventually end up as the last people of our kind, and fade away from life, proving that those that trust in the corrupt, where better than us. Suddenly I feel so alone.

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You have three biscuits. Your friend eats two. How many biscuits do you have? A: 3 Your friend is bulemic so he throws them both up, so you still have them.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -He thought it was a game Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? -He had no arms Why did the girl fall off her bike? -She was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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