How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? a lot.

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Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Actually they are not, they are purple. Whoever the uneducated idiot was who made up that poem deserves nothing more then a slap in the face

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud…

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What do you get when you combine Seth Rogen and Harrison Ford? A very risky and expensive medical experiment.

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Why did it take the rabbit so long to enter the rabbithole? Because he was hit by a truck and lost a lot of blood.

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Moo! I'm a goat!

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Why did Humpty Dumpty fall off the wall? The wall was unstable and not to be sat on.

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What did the basketball player do before he scored a basket? Shot the basket ball

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Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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What do you call a girl who has recently been raped? Dead.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm bitten in half in your apple.

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What did Stephen Hawking say to a prostitute? Push me, and then just touch me, Till I can get my, Satisfaction.

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Billy was walking along the sidewalk. He strayed into someone's yard. He got run over by a lawnmower because he couldn't see with the frog he had stapled to his face.

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Q:What's the difference ethernet a corvette and a pile of dead baby's? A:I don't have a corvette in my garage

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Why did the jew save his money? Because his wife has cancer and the radiation treatments are very expensive.

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Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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There are 3 types of people in this world, those who can count to potato and those who can't.

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what did the guy think who woke up with his hands and feet nailed to a barn. IS THIS BECAUSE IM BLACK!

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what do you call a middle eastern man on a plane? a passenger.

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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What do you throw a drowning guitarist? An emergency floatation device.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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