A blond, brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They find a genie, who tells them each one can have one wish. They all wish for the same thing, to be back home with their families.

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What did one muffin say to the other? I'm baked... just kidding muffins are food and therefore can not speak

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Finding TWO worms in your apple.

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "Where's my tractor?!"

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

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Whats green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A Pool Table. Use your imagination.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms

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At a feminist picnic there are no sandwiches.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, as speaking to himself is a sign of mental illness.

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Why was the chipmunk watching TV? Because a new Family Guy was on.

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Question: How did the chicken get to the other side of the road? Answer: Too find his joint.

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A man walks into a restaurant and orders a rare steak. Soon after, he gets food poisoning.

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What happened to the vegetarian when he tried outdoor survival He died due to lack of energy because of his refusal to eat meat and or any living substance

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What would you call a two-foot Irishman named Max? Max.

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adele is so fat that when shes on a plane she makes the skyfall

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Whats worse than Sandy Hook Massacre? 9/11

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How do you make someone stop talking? Shove a rock down their throat.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Methodist minister were playing golf. The Priest won by one stroke.

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What do Michael Jackson and a throbbing, greasy, overcooked Shitake Mushroom have in common? Nothing. Just nothing at all.

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Only people of high intelligence can laugh at anti jokes.

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What did the Brontosaurus say to the Triceratops? Nothing. Neither of them have ever existed.

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Why do so many Koreans go to medical school? Practicing medicine is a rewarding and respected career.

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Two people are sitting on a 10th story window sill. They both fall off and die.

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As Vanilla Ice once said, "If there's a problem ill resolve it."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops