Weiner

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I scream, You scream, The police come, It's awkward.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock. Who's there? Awkward silence Awkward silence who? ...

thumb_up thumb_down -115

HAHAHAHAHAHA.....shut up your joke isn't better.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

roses are red violets are blue bullets are lead now i shoot you

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Me, myself, and I walked into a bar. We didn't say anything to each other because I'm not schetsophrenic.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the hispanic buy a pepsi? Because he was thirsty.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Looking for propane accessories? Well look no more!

thumb_up thumb_down

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped six's mother

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: What's black, blue, and dead? A: My wife after our fight last night.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you stop a black kid from jumping around in your bedroom? Chuck him out of the house.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Even dyslexic people attend church and pray to Dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This site.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A little boy who was sleeping in his parent's bed woke up in the middle of the night only to discover his mother performing fellatio on his father. "Mommy, mommy," he said . . . except he didn't. He said nothing, and the incident troubled him deeply for many years.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

You know how geese fly in a V formation and sometimes one side is longer than the other. Do you know why that is? Because there are more geese on that side.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Did I invite you to my birthday party? No. Then why are you at my birthday party?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was grandma lying on the floor? She just died of lung cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Peter charas threw a masterball at a level 20 Zubat!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Three logicians were travelling up to Scotland in a train. They saw a black cow standing parallel to the train tracks; the first sign of life since crossing the border. The first logician says "Oh, so they do have black cows in Scotland." The second logician says "No, they have at least one black cow in Scotland." The third logician says "No, they have at least one cow in Scotland, one side of which, at least, is black."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

2 black people and a mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The black person because they decided it would save gas if they all carpooled to their job.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I saw GESUS and SHE's BLACK

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops