- Anti Joke

Knock Knock! It's me! Hello? Hello! Why didn't they answer him? He was at the desert, with a disconnected phone. Also, my Captcha for this is "lose face" Good job solf mediya

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

Why doesn't the fat kid have any friends? Because he is fat.

How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

What do you call a gay couple with jobs and a kid?? Responsible.

What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

A dog walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender goes to get him a drink, but then realizes how ridiculous this is and wakes up from his dream. He rolls over to tell his wife about it, but she ignores him. He begins to cry silently, realizing his marriage is in shambles.

What do you call a baby with no arms or legs? You call a lawyer, and be sure to have him ask the mother if she took Thalidomide during pregnancy.

c-? men, C-men

#IsaiahAfterAD&B

If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

There were two oranges in a bowl. One orange said to the other "Hello my orange friend". The other orange screamed because he did not know oranges could talk.

What do millions of men give their girlfriends every Christmas? AIDS.

Whats worse than getting a paper-cut? Getting shot. In the head. Three times.

what do you call the head-less man sitting on your porch? By what ever his name is!!

What do Tutankhamun and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead

Why did the tomato blush? A tomato's complexion is already red so it simply appears to be blushing

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

Knock Knock "Who's There?" No answer The man proceeds to go on with his life

Nature is filled with wondrous things. No really, this isn't a joke.

"So there once was this wasp that lived in a jungle. This was not your ordinary wasp though-he was smart, philosophical even. One day he finally got fed up with his repetitive, insignificant life and decided that he would leave his hive, his family, his entire close-knit wasp community and he would go out into the world and make something of himself, just like the humans do. So the wasp enrolls in school, and passes with flying colors. Remember, this is a very smart wasp. He gets his high school diploma in a little under 3 years, with a 4.0 GPA and all that snazz. After high school, believe it or not, the wasp gets accepted to Harvard. Harvard! This too proves to be no challenge for our hero, as he graduates in just two years, again a 4.0, on the Dean's list, and all that snazz. Not to mention all the clubs and sports he was in-the newspaper, rowing, student government-and the fact that he was by far the most popular student on campus. Even his professors looked up to him. He goes on to get two PhDs, and when he finishes his education, the wasp faces a bit of a dilemma. How does he apply his knowledge now? Where does he go from here? He decides to try out politics. After all, he was popular throughout school, did well in Harvard government. So he runs for mayor, and wins in a landslide. He greatly reforms the city, fixing virtually all its major problems. He runs for governor and again wins in a landslide. Two years later, the presidential election was coming up, and the wasp decides he might as well go for it. Of course, he wins in the largest landslide in US presidential history. His presidency goes exceedingly well-he is loved by all parties, and has the highest approval ratings in history. He also finds the cures for cancer, AIDS, and broken hearts while in the White House. After 8 years (yes, of course he was reelected) the time has come for him to leave his office. Even his successor his saddened by the wasp’s departure, but they all know it’s what must be done. Back at his vacation home in California his first day after leaving office, the wasp looks back on his long and fruitful life. He realizes that he hasn't been back to his hive at all since that first day he left. He suddenly feels a twang of guilt as he realizes how much he misses his parents and his little brother. So he heads back to the hive, looking more worn out than he remembers. He goes inside and greets his family, who are overjoyed at the sight of him. He talks about how his life has gone as his family listens in wonderment. Eventually he decides he is thirsty, so he decides to visit the old watering hole he remembered. Once he gets there though, there’s an extremely long line. He decides it’s worth the wait, so gets in line. One hour. Two hours. This is the slowest moving line he’s ever seen! Eventually he calculates that it could be a few days before he gets to the front of the line, so decides it’s not worth it. He decides to go get some cider to drink instead, but waddya know, another huge line of people waiting for cider! He remembers one other drinking area that never had a long line-fruit punch! So he decides to go get punch. He arrives, and lo and behold, there's no punch line."

What did your mother say after I beat her? Nothing, because she was dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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