Q: What do you get when you cross an Elephant and a Rhinoceros? A: Merriam-Webster defines "cross" as "an affliction that tries one's virtue, steadfastness, or patience." This comedic exercise is one such affliction.

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A mermaid found a magic lamp at the bottom of the ocean. She rubbed it and a cat with 9 lives came out so he didn't drown.

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roses are red violets are blue daffodils are yellow pansies are pink

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Jim and Dave walk into a bar. The bartender says, "what'll it be?" Dave is black.

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What do a bunch of dead babies look like in a blender? I don't know I was too busy masturbating.

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Roses are Grey Violets are Grey I am a dog.

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What did the Frog say to the other Frog? Nothing they can't speak

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why did dicks dicks the dicks dicks? because you're gay and dicks

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hi charles lattuca III

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What's funny about anti-humor? Nothing.

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How do you get a clown to shut up? Hit him in the face with an axe

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Nothing. Johnny is Jewish.

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Is your plant made out of Osmium, Molybdenum, Silicon and Sulfur? Because it's going through OsMoSiS. That was just a joke, not a pick up line. Unless I was giving a pick-up line to your plant, which I definitely wasn't...

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Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

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what do you call a blond who likes human flesh a cannibal

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knock knock who's there? bell bell who? bellend

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Q: why are black people so much darker than white people? A: genetics.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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How do you stop a black person from drowning? You toss him a flotation device.

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A Muslim walks into a bar He immediatley turns around and leaves as his religious beliefs forbid consumption of alcoholic beverages.

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Why did the cow cross the road? The slaughter yard was on the other side!

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What do you say when you see your tv floating at night? Drop it, nigga!!

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What happens when a Jewish man with a boner walks into a wall. He gets a broken nose.

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what's white, sits around all day, and sucks on tits? a baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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