Why did the guy playing Monopoly sell Boardwalk for $100 to the woman wearing an exotic outfit which shows off her boobs but wouldn't sell Boardwalk for $1000 to the other person that was playing the game? The other person had Park Place as well which would have given them a monopoly on the blue property if he had sold it to that person. And $100 is all the girl had or he would have asked for more but he needed the $100 in order to pay this other player and keep himself from going bankrupt after landing on one of his Hotels.

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There is a wizard standing on a street corner. A boy walks up to the wizard and says, "Can you turn invisible?" The wizard replies, "Oh, I'm not a wizard. I'm a hobo with a long beard and a bathrobe." The hobo then proceeded to begging the boy for money.

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THUMBS THIS DOWN AND I WILL KILL YOU! TOTAL PEOPLE DIED FROM THUMBING THIS DOWN: 147289347809237489

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What's worse than find ten babies in a trash can? Find a baby in ten trash cans.

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In the time it has taken you to read this, a small African child has died.

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Why did the boy ask his dad for a phone? Because he had his head stuck up a sheeps bum

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Whats brown and ryhmes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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You wanna hear a funny joke? Sorry, but I'm really not a funny guy. Not a comedian, you know.

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What is it called when a black guy gets robed A crime

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What did the mental patient say to the apple? She didn't say anything because she was a catatonic schizophrenic.

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Why did the white man go to jail? He broke the law.

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What’s worse than being ruled by Adolf Hitler? Being ruled by Joseph Stalin.

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You know whats better than cold pizza? Winning a nobel prize.

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A man entered into a house, because it hadn't any door.

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Why did the two children go sledding? Because they liked to sled.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Commie. Commie who? Commie Johnson. We went to high school together.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What did jimmy get for dinner? Food

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Why didn't the priest move in with the two rabbi? Because having three adults between the ages of 18 and 65 occupying the dwelling would have violated their insurance policy.

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Why was john's balls itchy? Because he recently gained a severe infestation of pubic lice.

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A squirrel is about to steal the eggs of a sparrow when the sparrow suddenly says, "Stop! I will do anything if you would spare my eggs!" The squirrel has no capacity to reason and so steals the eggs anyway. The sparrow is devastated.

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Q: Why is it funny to laugh at gay men? A: They like men.

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A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

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What's worse than watching the Hunger Games? Playing the Hunger Games

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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