How do you make a teacher cry? Shit in their water bottle.

What do you call a baby that fell in lava Dead

Not lying Red, I have my contacts, I am a "facilitator", I pull strings for my employers, and sure the FBI has me on their files, after all we have cooperated with them. Not because I wanted to, but because its my job, and it helps me use the best of my abilities and limited education (I am technically an educated lawyer, and not an agent).

A dyslexic boy is writing an essay. Luckily, his disease is mild and he does not misspell anything.

Whats the same about a Mole and an Eagle? They both live underground, I lied about the Eagle.

what's the difference between a pogo stick and a traffic cone? well for starters, traffic a cones main function is to cordon off areas or alert drivers to certain areas of road that are not to be breached and pogo sticks are used as toys to heighten bouncing. I'll stop here but the list goes on.

What did the little girl get for christmas? her first period

How do you piss off a female archeologist? Kill her dog.

there once was a man, he was old, and he had one wish...do you wanna know that wish? Well i don't know it because he died two seconds ago from a heart attack. Oh Well...

What's 2+2? Fish

101 ways to annoy people 1.) lying about having a 101 ways to annoy people

An Irishman walked out of a bar

This, is indeed the funniest joke you will ever read, honest! "shows joke on written paper"

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? An Irishman with a metal bar (like a pole)

Why did the robot cross the road? Because It was bionically fused to the chicken.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Sally had no arms. Knock knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

A horse walks into a bar. The waiter asks: 'Why the long face?' The horse, not understanding English, takes a crap on the floor and walks out.

I was bangin this girl and she kept yelling the wrong name. Who's rape??

What happened to George's pet rock? It ran away.

Why does beonce say to the left, to the left. she doesnt she sings it.

I hate when people see me at the store and are like "What are you doing here??" and Im just like, "Oh, you know, hunting elephants..."

Why wouldn't Leena sleep with Ole? Because she thought him to be a dumb, ugly, Scandinavian.

What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

Why didn't Hellen Keller just wear glasses? Oh wait

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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