RECTUM? Damn near spelled "Wrecked Him" the wrong way!

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, the highest he placed was 4th.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly doesn't contain pieces of fruit.

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Why did Jordan miss the bus? The bus didn't miss hitting him.

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I see, said the deaf man to the blind guy.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? Steve Johnson, and I'm legally obligated to inform you that I'm a sex offender.

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What's black and makes me food? A microwave.

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What do you get if you give a black man more than 5 watermelons? Jeff the Killer.

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Why do Mexicans like to eat burritos? They are delicious.

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What do you call a calculator without a brain? A calculator.

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Two elks were out flying one day. One of the elks turned to the other one and said: - You have a cinnemon bun in your eye. - What? - You have a cinnamon bun in your eye! - WHAT? - YOU HAVE A CINNAMON BUN IN YOUR EYE!!! - I CAN'T HEAR YOU, I HAVE A CINNAMON BUN IN MY EYE!

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Who gave Miley Cyrus her new haircut? Hellen Keller

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Dad: hi son Kid: (looks sad and looks at the ground) Dad: what's wrong son. Kid:I raped a girl. Dad:Who? Did you rape son! Kid:mom.

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What did Jesus say as he walked on water and people went like WOHOO! OMG WE ARE TOTALLY GOING TO CHISEL THIS INTO JEWTUBE SO EVERYONE CAN SEE! "BEHOLD AS I WALK UPON THIS WATER WHILE ALL OF YOU HAVE FAILED BEFORE ME! ONLY I CAN WALK OF THIS WATER OF FROZEN WITHOUT SLIPPING! Nero: Because go fuck yourself asshole. Lol... Jewtube was not as widely available as youtube so yeah... Walking on ice without falling over was a big thing back then... You know such as OMG! EATING BREAD AND DRINKING WINE! WOOOOOOAAAAH SCIENCE! AND BURNING BUSHES SPOKE AND... Moral: "Ill be back, you know, just to annoy you, and because I want to, a real man needs no other reason, and that is why you fuckers need so many of them"

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What starts with "R" and ends in "JUR"? RJUR.

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roses are red , thankyou for stating that , i can now continue with gardening as it is my profession.

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A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked: "Why the long face?" The horse said: "My wife just died."

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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drake

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What's the difference between a piece of chicken and a black guy? They were both once alive and innocent, I lied about the black guy.

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How many muslims does it take to screw in a lightbulb. One.

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Who didn't allow the gorilla into the ballet studio? Whoever was in charge.

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Do you have ass-thma? Coz your ass is taking my breath away

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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