Are you a homophobe? No I'm straight. ,.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because at some point through out the day, it had been relocated to the other side of the road. Since it was feeding time, it needed to return to the chicken coop or else risk death due to starvation.

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What's worse than finding a worm in ur Apple? Finding a worm in ur poop

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How did the kid drop his ice cream cone? Ans. He got hit by a bus

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What did the anti-joke say? Nothing for it is an anti-joke which is a group of word formed to create a sentence and sentences cannot speak.

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Why couldn't the man walk? He lost his legs when he stepped on a land mine in Afghanistan.

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YOUR MOTHER IS SO FAT that she sought a relevant support group. My understanding is that she tried Overeater's Anonymous and lost a few pounds, but it meant more that it improved her sense of self-worth. She's more comfortable with herself as a somewhat overweight woman, and a much happier person now. We're all very proud of her.

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How did i get from Pakistan to Iraq Iran

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What's red and invisible? We don't know that it's red.

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So I was walking down the road today

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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What did the down syndrome kid get for christmas? Pulmonary Embolisms.

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How do you know your roommate is gay? His dick tastes like shit.

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Whats white, black, and red all over? A half eaten penguin

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What did the blonde say to the other blonde? What's up

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A 55-year-old white man's car is broken, so he decides to take a bus to work that morning. His bus arrives and he gets on. Then he notices the driver's a woman. He pays for his ticket, takes a seat by the window and in about an hour he gets to his office.

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What do you call a horse with no eyes? A horse with no eyes.

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Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

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Why was Jessica sad? She had just recently run over a few newborn puppies with her car.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm Schizophrenic And so am I.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died! Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey!!

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What Batman said to Robin before they got in the car? -Get in the car Robin!

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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How do you make time fly? Develop a flying suit to put on a sun dial.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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