I'm Andrew Schmitt

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Wanna hear a story bout my uncle turza.... My uncle turza was eating fruit loops one day and there was a squirrel in the trre from 2 days ago he got angry because the spoon was from the phillipines so he punched a whole in the wall and his half uncle cousins sister had a cage.... True story

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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What did the man and woman do in bed together? Sleep.

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what did the plane say to the trade center on 9/11 boom

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? The Ferrari is expensive and the babies are in a nice hospital.

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Why do mexicans like burritos? Because they taste good.

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A man walked into a bar...Ouch. He received a minor concussion from the impact of the cement wall of the building and a slight goose egg on his forehead.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue I like poo F*** on You By drew bolton

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whats worse than dropping your toast butter side down ? being ripped apart from the anus upwards by a large black man

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A black man and a mexican are in a car. Who is driving? The black man.

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Q. What do you call a Widow's Husband? A. Dead...

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Why did the jew give all his money away to charity? -No I'm kidding, he didn't.

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What's the difference between an apple? An red fox's enzyme defragmenting on tue.

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I'm tired of hearing Holocaust jokes, Anne Frankly I'm disappointed.

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Why did sally fall off her swingset? Because she was hit with a refrigerator.

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What succeeds most of the time? The population of a field with grass.

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What sentence on this site is the biggest cause of forever alone. "No comments yet. Be the first"

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Q: What did the Lone Ranger say when he saw his horse coming? A: Here comes my horse.

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Four turtles once fell into nuclear waste. They remained unnoticed and later died from exposure to radiation.

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a black man and a squirrel get hit on two different roads what's the difference? well for starters theyre two different species. a squirrel is much smaller than a human and has his own mark on society. the man will be missed dearly by his family and if the impact with the car wasnt bad, he may have a chance to make it out alive at the hospital. the squirrel however is not so lucky. it will be left to die on the street or would have died on impact already with sadly no squirrel hospital to tend to it.

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vagina, hehehehehehehe

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Why was David sad? Because he got his head stuck in a window.

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A rabbi, a nun, and a homosexual walk into a bar. They proceed to get drunk, and party like its 1972. Oh yeah. And your dad was just killed by a refrigerator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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