What did squidward do when SpongeBob asked him to be his friend on Facebook? 1.declined it 2.got a restraining order against him 3.wondered how computer generated cartoon characters could send and decline friend requests

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It's a bird! No, it's a plane! No, it's actually a bird. You can see its wings flapping.

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Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose body parts were all adequate and thus could not perform any odd sexual acts upon himself.

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one time there was a fukc then it taked a shat potated pancocks cancer is fuCk 18 why did the cock cross the choad? fUcK

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC for his job interview

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how do you kill a little girl? seeing as murder is a federal offence i will not tell you how. you should be ashamed for asking.

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Uhh, yeah, some of it, I mean people never looked me in the eyes on the buss really, I dunno,if you think I am pretty maybe it is just your opinion or something, but thanks, you are hones and its nice. Never been out drinking, I am you know, kinda nerdy, I just prefer hanging out with friends at home.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? We are, now open the door! Wait im masturbating!!

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what's red and smells like water? Red food-coloured water.

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The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action

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Obama.

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Inspirational speaker: "You can judge a man by the way he treats those who can do nothing for him." Me: "Hitler loved dogs."

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How many Jew can you fit in a car? As many as the car seats comfortably.

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There was an English man, an Irish man and a Scottish man. The Welsh man couldn't make it. Again.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed as a clown.

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How come Helen Keller never played professional baseball? Because she was a woman

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What do you get if you mix a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu? A new breed of dog.

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Why did Sally not get her permission slip signed? Because her parents where murdered. Why did Sally not think to ask her grandparents? Because there in jail for killing her parents.

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who is jacked and looks like a beast? • James Cornish

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Q: What's the difference between Osama's death and Paris Hilton's bra? A: One is Osama's death and the other is Paris Hilton's bra.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? You eat them.

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A little boy walks into a bar its fine, he's over 21, he just looks younger.

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Why was the man lying under a sheet. Because he was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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