Why wasn't Johnny at school today? Because he died in childbirth.

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What happened to the boy when he did nothing? The game.

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What did the spoon say to the other spoon? Nothing, it is a spoon.

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Dear God, That wasn't cool. Seriously. From, Japan

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What was the reason for the confused looking woman staring at the can of frozen Apple juice for twenty minutes? Some cans are difficult to open: The little ring bit comes off when you pull it, and then you have to work out a new way to open it, which takes patience and ingenuity.

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Half empty = half full Therefore Half (empty) = half (full) empty= full Half empty

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Roses are brown I like clouds this joke isn't funny so don't laugh..... Oh an I am trying to get the most dislikes so whatever you do don't like it:(:(:(

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What's weird about four black men in a toilet? No one got shot.

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Two birds fly onto a bench. They cherp 3 times and sit there enjoying the nice weather.

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Dad always said that laughter was the best medicine. Maybe that's why he died of tuberculosis.

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Why did elmo jump of the cliff caus he was depresed

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what happened to your carpool? they died.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have down syndrome duh dusfy druah

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks then comes home to his whole family murderd and mutilated

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Why don't men ask for directions? They want to appear knowledgeable and strong. Asking for directions is sometimes considered a sign of weakness.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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How does a black man put puzzles together? First, he locates the four corners. Next, he begins filling in the sides. Finally, he uses the picture on the box to fill in the center. It can be a very tedious process if he is not paying attention.

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What do you call a mexican riding a lawnmower? Promoted

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If I was a regular squirrel, I would be pissed at flying squirrels.

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Why was Michelle crying? I don't know. Neither do I.

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, she's already been told twice.

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Two people walk into a bar, the third one ducked.

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How long does it take to cook a baby in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy jacking off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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