What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it because it isn't coming.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why was the pen mad at the pencil? it wasnt. objects don't have feelings

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I just found my mum has Alzheimer's, I hope it isn't contagious cause my mum has it too

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what do call a large massacre of 1000000 people? a tragedy

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats the difference of a pile of dead babys and a lambrogini? One of them is not inside of my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU..

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Knock, Knock Who's there? Betty. Answer the door!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. The squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because it is a squirrel and squirrels can't talk. The owl turns to the squirrel and eats it, because it is a bird of prey.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Parkinsons, ;oshgfs;jgbRHG

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the homosexual farmer say when he answered the phone? Hello

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why didn't Anne Frank answer the door? Because it was the German SS.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Why is the sky blue? The sun reflects off the water molecules in all bodies of water

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Well Here Goes Nothing And nothing happened

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Two Naked men jump off a cliff. Three months later, an entire pack of Cub Scouts were enrolled in group therapy. It's ongoing.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How can you tell if someones gay? You ask them.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A black man and a mexican jump from a tree. Who hits the ground first? The mexican. The black man had a rope tied around his neck.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Nice belt.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's white and sticky.... Jizz

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is big, white, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? Donald Trump

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops