what is long and bare? polonaise to the pediatric ward what is short and bald? same polonaise, 3 weeks later

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once upon a time jess was happy this once upon a time was a very long time ago, BABADOOK !

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Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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what did the man say to his boss? Hello boss

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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How do you kill a blonde? Well there are many ways, but all of which are wrong because murder is illegal.

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The Holocaust.

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What is less sanitary than eating food off of the ground? Anal sex.

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Why are fat people fat? Because they like food.

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A lonely man walks into a Self-Esteem class. He sits alone in the back because of his low self-esteem. Forever alone.

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What time is it when an elephant jumps over your fence? Actually, elephants don't jump.

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Why did the rooster go to kfc? To see a chicken strip

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What's big and red and if it falls out of a tree and can kill you - a fire truck

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Why are birds purple? because it fits the sky why are bats purple? bats aren't purple

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Whats green and gets you really high? A green airplane

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Q: How do you make a plumber cry? A: Kill his family.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Dead babies can't paint.

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What did Helen Keller say when she jumped off the cliff? ........………………………………….…………….........................................................................………………,………………...........................................................................………………………………….…………….........................................................................………………,………………...........................................................................………………………………….…………….........................................................................………………,………………...........................................................................………………………………….…………….........................................................................………………,………………..................................................................... .

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What do call a black politician? Not Barack Obama, unless it's Barack Obama

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Yo mamma's so fat, she's self-concsious about her weight and is embarassed when people make fun of her weight which makes her escape to her only friend, food, which makes her even fatter, so she will never lose weight until society accepts her and is not so prejudice towards overweight people.

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What's white and sticky? A marshmellow.

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Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He was in a terrible car crash in which the fuel tank exploded.

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FOLLOW ME @airvvv

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Have you heard of the Armenian genocide? No? Me neither.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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