How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator? Open the door and let him in. How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator? Open the door and let the elephant out then give the giraffe a reasonable amount of time to enter.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

What's the most common way to become mentally challenged? Getting hit by a shovel a couple times

thumb_up thumb_down +11

There were a dog and a cat in a family house. The dog turned to the cat and said .. nothing because a dog can not speech the human language.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

knock, knock who's there? boo boo who? sorry i dont know anyone named boohoo so get the hell off my lawn

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the cookie go to the docter? Because he was dieing of terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

"You go, Glen Coco" -Mean Girls, 2004

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a man that goes to work every day to provide for his family? A spoon

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Potato potato potato potato potato? Potato potato potato.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A dog says to a horse "Hey, why the long face?" the horse just looks at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is covered in red and has two legs? Half a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A muslim walks out of a plane.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's worse than walking into your parents room while their have sex? Getting no-scoped by zzirgrizz

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a fat jew? A person that most likely has an eating problem and needs to seek help from the nearest rabbi

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Unconventional thinking Something else out of one: So sometimes I feel there is something I want right? But I don't feel like I deserve it yet or i hesitate although I fucking want it So I go home, decide to take my time before I decide to buy it, and sit my ass on a chair covered with spikes until I decide it is time to get it, Moral 1: You want to take the better decision but don't feel time is right? Some spikes up your ass is not only the perfect way to change your mind, but in this case an excellent metaphor to why you want to keep doing whats best for you. Moral best: Think if you could get all that time you spent hesitating back, would that not be awesome? What if you just stop hesitating now? Would that not be aweso... Go fuckyourself... Nerometal Fuck Neronism... Cool name though

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Today, both my parents were killed in a car accient. FML.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Yo momma so hot she won a beauty contest and was later shot and killed by the jealous losers

thumb_up thumb_down

If she's old enough to count, she's probably in second grade.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what's gray, rectangular, and provides a good time? your mother's sex tape.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Doctor: "I'm sorry, but your son has Hepatitis B. Asian Parent: "Why he has Hepatitis B? Why he not get the Hepatitis A plus?"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: What do you call those assholes who always volunteer in lectures? A: Assholes. Fcuking assholes. They created the word asshole. Assholes

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the janitor have for breakfast? Food

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Its alright for you to act like a bitch but its not allright for me to call u one

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's brown and sticky? A stick

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why is the boy severely mentally scarred? He got raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops