Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven.

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hwhy did the monkey fall out of the tree? he got shot. why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? he was nailed to the first one.

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A man walks into a bar and says "ow"; he stepped on a nail sticking up through one of the floorboards. He then sues the bartender for a large sum of money because of the injury he sustained, and causes the bartender to lose everything he owns in order to pay off his debt.

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Your mother is so stupid that she has trouble discerning certain facts from fiction.

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Sometimes when you drink sperm you choke

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Why does the sultan of Turkey wear red suspenders? So that his pants wouldn't fall down.

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I like the way he thinks. Too bad he has alzheimers.

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Why is Skrillex so bad a fishing? He has Parkinson's Disease

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what did the bug say when it got ran over by a car? NOTHING, bugs can't talk

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A duckling is following its mother, but gets separated. Noticing that her child is lost the mother duck calls out, and the duckling finds her quickly.

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What is frowned upon no matter what country you're in? Sex on a plane.

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Why did brad pay the sexy looking librarian with a big smile on his face? Becouse brad returned his books to late and had to pay a fine for that. The librarian made a joke about the fact that it was a waste of money to return the books late.

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Why did the man drink water? Because he was thirsty

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Accept for cancer.

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Why did Sally have a bad vacation? Sally was shot at by a sniper.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a sink? I don't know i forgot to turn the garbage disposal off

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Why did the baby stop crying? Because he stopped breathing.

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How many bodies can you stuff into a oven? Who tries figure that out? I'm calling the cops.

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why did the clown go to the graveyard? because he was dead

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Why did the cat bite its owner's? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

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If I was, yet this syndicate was a legal one, necessary in order to maintain world peace trough the means of economical stability and such, would this be acceptable to you? Hypothetically of course.

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CAS

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god walks into a bar orders a beer and then remembers he's not real

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Where did the homeless man sleep? A rather nice hotel with fluffy pilloes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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