What did the girl with AIDs receive for her birthday? Unprotected sex

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Roses are penis Violets are penis I like penis Penis

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A duck walks into a restraunt and sit's down at it's table. The waiter asks what the duck would like to eat. The duck says "I'd like a tasty, healthy meal that will help me lose weight." The waiter says "How about the rocket salad?" So, the duck orders a rocket salad, eat's it, pays his bill, and leaves.

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Q: Why did the man have sex with Amanda Seyfried? A: Are you kidding me?

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The speakers on my computer were broken, so I was going to replace them with John Boehner. Because he is the SPEAKER of the house.

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Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters

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everyone wonders y grandmas dont wear bra's its because if youre that old u might die putting it on

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Q: What did the first kid say to the second kid before he handed him a pencil? A: May I have a pencil?

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What's older than history? Pre-history.

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black people

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one who? Cares.

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? Carrots! ... well if they were invisible..

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What do call a fly with no legs? Dead

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Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

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knock knock whos there. no one your hullicinating, heroine is hell of a drug

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You are so stupid you should go to school and get an education so you are able to get a well paying job in this tough economy

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okay so this guy walks into the bar and says DON BE STUPE SHE SPIT GOOD AND EVERYTHIN. why did he say that. BECAUSE EVERYBODY HATES HIS SPIT

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what happens when you piss on a dead monkey nothing you just lose the urge to pee O.o

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Why was the guy not asleep Because he was awake

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Why cant the guy drink his beer Because he hasnt opened it yet

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I called this hot girl up from class one day. She told me to come over because no one was home. I got to her house, and no one was home.

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How do you know when a guy wants to have sex with you? When he rapes you

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A forty-year-old man forces a young child to strip down and take a shower. The child screams and cries, but the man persists angily. He then carries the child into his bed. The child pleads, "Help! Mom, make him stop!" The mother yells back, "Just listen to him. He's your father and it's past your bedtime." This is a common night-time routine for parents with their first child

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Why did the homeless man get a house key cut? He didn't he's homeless.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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