Q.How do you scare an emo?? A.Run after them with plasters

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Shit on her face

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Q: What did the doctor say to the man with terminal cancer? A: You have terminal cancer.

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A white guy, a black guy, an Asian guy, and a Hispanic guy walks into a bar. The white guy orders a beer, the black guy orders a shot of vodka, the Asian guy orders a sake, and the Hispanic guy orders a shot of tequila. They were drinking and having a great time.

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What is the biggest lie of 2011? "I do"- Kim kardashian

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What did Batman say to Robin befor they got in the car? Get in the car.

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How do you confuse Hellen Keller? You write a really difficult riddle in braille and tell her to solve it.

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Why cant Roger drive a tractor? Because Roger is a goldfish.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its body.

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Micheal jackson had half a pie, Fred had the other half of the pie, They both shared a pie.

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A Man walks in to a bar and orders a pint of lager, he notices something floating on the top of his drink so he calls over the bartender. "Excuse me, I think there's something in my dr-" The man's sentence was cut short as a man with a gun had just walked into the bar. He killed everyone, there were no survivors.

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Two guys went into a bar and started drinking. After sometime one guy said to the other, "I love your mother.I want to marry her." The other guy said,"Come on dad,you have been drinking too much."

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What do you call a man with an eight foot steel spike wedged in his rectum? An Ambulance

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Jehovah's Witnesses.

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A brown haired woman walks into a clinic and says, "Doctor it hurts whenever I touch myself." The doctor says, "Strange, I have never heard of such a disease. Please show me." The woman touches her leg and screams,"Ow!" Then she touches her arm and screams again. The doctor asks, "Are you a natural brunette?" The woman replies, "No, I am a blonde." The doctor says, "Oh, that explains it. You have a broken finger. God, you are so blonde." The woman gets her finger treated and then lives in agony for the rest of her life due to her untreated broken leg and arm.

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what did the Nazi do when his Jewish rabbit died? silly Nazi rabbits don't have religion

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Its a bird!! Its a plane!! No, its a bird.

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Why does a chicken lay an egg? If she'd throw it, it would break.

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what do you call a muslim flying a plane 911

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. The chicken was run over by a truck before he could get to the other side

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whats short and has spots? A mouse with the chicken pocks.

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whats black, white, and red all over? your mum

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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What do you call a bad anti joke? And anti joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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