Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Chuck Norris.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I'd like to make this joke funnier but I can't. It's stupid. I don't even like it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what did the homeless man get for christmas.......................nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the chicken cross the road? So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q. What's the difference between dead babies and celebrities? A. Nobody likes celebrities.

thumb_up thumb_down +98

Why did the man paint his dog blue? He has some strange mental condition and is incapable of controlling his own actions.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

why does the gay guy like anal-sex? because he's gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between a Lawyer and a hooker? Job description, income, and an incredibly large list of other things.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Two peanuts were crossing a road. One was salted.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

if life gives you lemons, throw them at pedestrians

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock Knock. I said who's there? Knock Knock. WHO THE FUCK'S THERE, GODDAMNIT? Knock Knock. PLEASE STOP IT STOP IT OH GOD STOP IT Knock Knock SWEET DEAR JESUS GOD CHRIST STOPSTOPOHGODSTOPITNOW Knock Knock. FORGODSSAKECOMEIN. Hello, Mark. Oh, hi, Steven.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Hanna fall of the swing She had no arms or legs Knock knock Whose there Not Hanna Haha

thumb_up thumb_down +7

roses are grey violets are grey so says my color blind cousin

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is worse than finding a worm in an apple? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what looks like a banana, smells like like a banana, but isn't a banana? a fake banana

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the chicken cross the road? Systemic oppression.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why do you put a baby in a blender face up? To see the expression on its face

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the young man not want to go to school? Because he had a large tumor on the left side of his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A large man goes into a restaurant and places his order The waiter asks if he would like the weight watchers menu He says no because he doesnt care about his weight

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops