Q) what do girls like long , soft (can go hard) and has white stuff come out A) Twinkies but if left out of its plastic wrapping for a long period of time it will go hard

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What do you call a child with a peg leg, and eye patch, and no hand? Names

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Knock knock ... *No ones home*

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So this guy and his monkey walk into a bar, I forget the rest of the joke but your mothers a whore.

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What's the difference between a zit and a priest? These two things are so different that I couldn't list all of the differences in this text box.

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Why can't Tom go horse back riding? He is paralized from the neck down

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A Man visits his Doctor because he is feeling slightly unwell.

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Roses are red, Because they can intrinsically change color through natural dyes.

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Hellen Keller walks into a bar. And a tree. And a lamp.

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A duck, a mailman, and a poet were contemplating suicide, then they changed their minds.

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how do stick a dead baby into a blender and why???????? feet first so u can see the reaction on top.

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A ginger rapping.

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Narrator: A ghost walks into a church. It is a Jewish church during a Friday night service. Huh. That ghost looks a lost like Hitler. Oh crap, everyone run for your lives! Stranger: GHOSTBUSTERS! Narrator: what, the, heck? Ghostbuster: let's kill some ghosts! Wait a minute. Adolf, is that you? Hitler ghost: John? Ghostbuster: Adolf, Buddy! Narrator:...... Hitler ghost: Hey, John! Wanna grab a drink? Ghostbuster: sure. let's get out of here. Narrator: This joke has officially lost all meaning. I don't even know why I'm submitting it any more! And get this! I AM HALF JEWISH!

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Q:why didn't billy go to soccer practice A:there was a billboard stapled to his neck

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A baby seal walks into a club

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? because it got shot before it could get there.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

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A man dressed as a woman gets hit in the nuts they fall to the ground in pain

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Why was six afraid of seven? A: He just does.

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Look whos talking Matt Critchley

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? To visit the graves of his wife and only daughter who were killed in a car accident at the fault of a drunk driver many years prior.

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers are not sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear.

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ha ha, I can talk and you can't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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