Why did Hitler cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways. Only after practicing proper safety procedure did he venture across the busy thoroughfare to retrieve his asthma medication from his car.

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HOLY COW!

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Once upon a time, A lonely man was living in the woods. He died of exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, and bacterial infection. The end. Once upon a time, Another lonely man was living in the woods. He built a house, made a well, made a farm, got married, had kids, and had a wonderful life. The end.

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Q What did the Whale say to the Giraffe? A Why are you in the ocean?

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whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing your mum having sex

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? a pizza doesn't yell when it goes into an oven

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If there are four gay men that come into a bar and need to sit down when all you have is one stool; what do you do? Get three more stools.

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One, two, three, four and five

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What's worse than 9/11? a dipped glass of milk

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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Why did the black man get a zero on his SAT? He was up so late helping orphans with disabilities that he fell asleep during the test.

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What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? One if part of the four main food groups, and one is not.

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Two bees are flying around a flower. "Hey," says one bee, "you ever think about the meaning of all of this? I mean, isn't there more to life than pollinating and satisfying the Queen?" The other bee replies, "No."

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If you were a booger..................... I would get a tissue so i could blow my nose.

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

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What's under there? I'm not falling for that one...

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Why didn't the boy eat his soup? It was to hot.

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An Hispanic married couple walked into a popular restaurant. The waiter arrived at their table and asked what they would like to eat. The husband ordered a steak and his wife ordered a salad. They both enjoyed their food, payed the bill and happily walked out of the restaurant.

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I used to be an adventurer like you...but then I was diagnosed with cancer.

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whats white, blue, and red all over? a white guy in the ghetto

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What did Santa call the prostitute? Nothing. Santa isn't real.

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a gay man walks into a bar the bartender says "what'll it be today" he asks for a beer the bartender comes back with a beer because thats what he asked for.

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How do you turn a piece of meat into a vegetable Break her neck

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Why do girls enjoy listening to Justin Biebers music? Because he sings moderately well and appeals to a younger audience.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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