Why doesn't the vampire like garlic? You have to exist to like garlic.

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Why did the man and woman have sex? To have a good time, but the man's condom failed and they ended up with a deformed baby because they were brother and sister. Those are your parents. Enjoy

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What's long and black? A black hockey stick.

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how do you keep a monkey from stealing your banana? shoot it

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Haulocaust Whats worse that the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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What is funny about 9/11. Nothing, it was a tragic day for the world.

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It didn't because it had died from an uncaring mother and father that dumped it's corps on the side of the highway.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit by a bus.

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says "I'm not feeling to good doc." and the doctor says "Thats because you have a fatal brain tumor and probably don't have too long to live."

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Why did the cat explode on the street? Cause i put a grenade in a fridge and then threw it at it.

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In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

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A young boy walks into a catholic church, he attends mass, and leaves.

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Your Mom

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Two penguins were taking a bath. One said "pass the soap." The second penguin replied, "What do you think I am, a typewriter?"

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What'sucks and white Jackson

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What's 2+2? Fish

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Can Helen Keller keep a secret? No, she didn't hear it in the first place

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So these two gay guys walk backwards into a bar.

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What do you call a dinosaur that doesn't lay eggs? A male dinosaur

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You are driving a canoe home when the wheels suddenly fall off. How many pancakes does it take to fill a doghouse?

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Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinsons..

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A man reaches to grab a womans chest and then realizing hes gay, backs off and everyone goes home happy

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An Atheist sneezed. Everyone around him said, "God bless you." He thanked them and continued on with his day.

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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