What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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everyone wonders y grandmas dont wear bra's its because if youre that old u might die putting it on

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why did the bus crash the driver was an alcoholic and was drunk he killed 8 people upon impact.

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream? Because seeing as a bus was heading straight toward her, she quickly decided to sacrifice her frozen treat and dodge the oncoming vehicle in order to save her life.

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knock! knock! Who's there ...So y do you have a peep whole?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -He thought it was a game Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? -He had no arms Why did the girl fall off her bike? -She was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator

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A: Did you know that cashews come from a fruit? B: Not really. This is an interesting fact. Any other facts you have? A: yes ("A" was lying)

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your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

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What did the mom say to her clinically depressed son? You're dad died

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Your mom smells so bad that she proceeded to take a shower and then didnt smell bad at all.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? The light was green.

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Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

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What do get when you mix cancer and a bike? Lance Armstrong

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Q: Why don't chicken breasts have nipples? A: because if you freeze them, they will pop the package.

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What did the penguin say to the fisherman? Nothing, they are different animals, and thus, unable to communicate.

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How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

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Why did the man have a hard time trying to open the door? The door was locked

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Who wakes up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy? P. Diddy.

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What did Helen Keller's parents do to punish her? They gave her a stern talking to and then grounded her for a couple days.

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What do you tell a woman who claims that she is going to yell "fire" in a crowded movie theater? That doing so could result in serious injuries or even death, and that she would be wise to reconsider her future options, as she could be held responsible for any and all problems that arise.

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Why grannies do not buy a menstrual pads? Cause they will never have their period anymore.

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Guess what my grandma told me yesterday.. Nothing she's dead.

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Steve Jobs is alive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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