You know whats better than cold pizza? Winning a nobel prize.

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what do you do when you see a black man punching a girl? act like you dont see it and get the hell out of harms way

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

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What did the man say to the drug dealer? I'd like some drugs

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What do you get when two chickens cross a road? -Salmonella stricken hobos

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Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

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A man was mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he look to see if something stuck in the blades. What did he pull out? Nothing, the gas ran out.

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Testicles.

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If Alex Maitland reads this he is gay

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Did the single mother survive the plane crash? No.

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What's worse than hearing another Holocaust anti-joke? The Holocaust.

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what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

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Chuck Norris can fly around the world in under 2 days. In an airplane.

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What do you get when you cross Arsene Wenger with Darth Vader? Arsene Vader

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My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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A police officer walks into a doughnut shop. He approaches the cashier and hands him 20$. He says "Here, I saw you drop this on your way in" he promptly leaves the store.

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Holy fuckfarts! I did mention I am at my mothers place right? What am I saying? What am I typing? Marry me now!

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You know what they say about big feet... Wow, those are some big feet.

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If a guy has a sex change what is the first thing he would say? Boobies!

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Whats worse than a truck full of dead babies? Unloading them with a pitchfork

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Yo mama so dirty when she takes baths there are rings.

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What do babies and caterpillars have in common? They're both dead. Except the caterpillar.

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-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

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How do you wake a clown up? By pouring vinegar in his eyes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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