Whats really ugly and horny Jake's mom

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they call me the green lantern because my little sister died in chemical fire

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Wanna here a good joke?

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Why is 6 scared of 9? Because 9 is a zombie.

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Why did the baby cross the road. It was stapled to the chicken.

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What do you call an elderly women who after the death of her late husband had many enconters witb men? A whore.

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You know how I felt about Nero, no way id ever date anyone but you, back then that is. Fine I will come along, I bet you left the base at "point zero" without the information he left, you have not changed a bit Seth, always too impulsive for your own good, but Nero was always like that and that, turned out, well damn. Tell me first, if you come get me, how much have you really changed mentally from the last time we met? You sincerely sound like a psychopath and I could use a shoulder to cry on rather than be escorted to some sick torture dungeon thing. I gather you are not far away, could you please get over here asap? I do not care about more than the standard code anymore, you have not changed much, except you are a deranged psychopath now, I get it, in your place I think id do the same, I have no idea how bad Nero was doing when you found him, and I sure as hell dont want to know.

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A handicapped man walks into a bar...

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Well that, my friend, is a good question.

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What's long, hard, and full of seamen... A Submarine

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so a kangaroo a piece of cake and a whale are all doing... ...nothing they would not hang out together

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What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

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Whats worse than being a black guy? NOTHING.

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42, that is all

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Q: what do you call a drunk blond? A: a cab

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What did one paper bill say to the other? Did you hear about one of us getting replaced by a woman? It's like Bruce to Caitlyn!

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you know whats worse then losing your banjo? finding a spleen in it's place

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Roses are red,vilots are blue just wait till I poo and till i kiss you

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Listen, I do not really care anymore, I admit it, I dont mind screwing with people, but if your name is Tifa, my name is lets see... Solid Snake, yeah, but call me big boss. Listen, be honest with me, if you do not trust me, just do not give me a random name, Tifa as in Tifa Lockheart? Final Fantasy? Wake up, girl/guy, you are losing your touch at this.

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Knock knock Who's there? To To who? No, Sir, it is "to whom"

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What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

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This is'nt a joke but like if it pisses you off when people comment on there own joke pretending to be someone else.

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Your mother is so fat when she jumps she comes backs down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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