What is veiny, turns hard, and has a tip at the end? The male genitalia used as a reproductive organ mainly in sexual intercourse known as a Penis.

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She was so hot every guy instantly jizzed upon seeing her. Even seeing her fingernails gave boners to thousands of people. Poor thing never had sex, no one could hold it in until they started. Maybe only Chuck Norris.

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Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

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Why did the poorly educated man get fired from the M&M factory? He changed the M's to W's!

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Why are fire trucks red Well fire trucks have 4 wheels, and they have 8 people in them, 4+8, is 12, there are 12 inches in a foot, a foot is a ruler, Queen Elizabeth was a ruler, Queen Elizabeth was a boat, boats sail the seven seas, fish are in the seven seas, fish have fins, the Finns defeated the Russians, Russians are red, And that is why fire trucks are red.

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Knock knock, Who's there? Justin Bieber, LEAVE!

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What's so funny about losing the game? Nothing.

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knock, knock who's there? Dave. ....oh well dave's not here man.

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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Where did John go? Refrigerator

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How do you make a dentist cry? Rape him in the ass.

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What is the difference between a rabbit and a plum? A: They are both purple, except for the rabbit!

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How much dirt is in a 4 by 6 by 8 hole? None its a hole.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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The Princess is in another castle

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin get in the Batmobile.

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There once was a man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two (I sense the public demanding an encore) There once was a man from Verdun There's also a limerick about Emperor Nero, but I can't tell it to you.

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whats green can fly and has legs? a plane i lied about the legs

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One muffin doesn't say anything to another muffin while baking in an oven because they lack the organs necessary to attain properties of speech and thought

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what happens when a jew meets a black person answer: they greet one another

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Why am I telling you this joke? Because I entered the following, agreed to the Terms of Service, and clicked "submit".

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6

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whats the difference between a mexican and an elevator? An elevator can raise a child.

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Me: so Megan did it hurt Megan fox: did what hurt? Me: when ur aged face wasn't good enough for the new transformers movie?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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