An elephant walks into a bar. It was so big that it broke a lot of things.

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Q: Whats A Schoolbus Full Of Black Children??? A: A Rotten Banana!!!

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What does tupperware and a walrus have in common? they both like a tight seal

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so there are two muffins in an oven. one muffin says to the other muffin, "hey is it hot in here or is it just me?" the other muffin says, "holy sh*t your a talking muffin."

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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How do you get a black guy to stop hanging around in your front yard? Hang him in the back yard.

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What can't catch or throw? A Quadriplegic

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Does anyone know any good ways to piss off an Grammar Nazi?

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Girl: Do you like me :D Boy: No Girl: =( Boy: You didn'y ask me if i loved you Girl: :D Do you love me Boy: Naw

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What's big, grey and can't swim? A castle

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How much does a polar bear weigh? The average male weights approximately 1150lbs.

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Why did Johnny throw his money on the floor? Because he was giving it to charity

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how do you starve a man who is on welfare? hide his food stamps under his work boots.

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Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

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Why did Ashley run out of juice in her house? Because she drank it all!

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What did the black person say to the other black person? Im really white, I just want to fell what its like to be black.

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What do u call a black guy that sell drugs? A nigga

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Whats something really annoying? A guy who presses enter too much. hehe

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the bird

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A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I'm colorblind

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Why was the black man lynched? Because he was found by angry racists in the 1930's.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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