whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a red corvette? i don't have a red corvette in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why do german shower have eleven holes? jews have 10 fingers

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why didn't the man jump out of his window when his house was on fire? Because he is afraid of heights.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

(This is a joke made up by the young son of a friend of mine many years ago. It is still one of my favorite jokes.) Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What was Helen Keller's favorite activity? fingering herself...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A Christian and an atheist are in a bar. Neither one knows the other's religion and they continue to drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman all walked into a bar. But, the bartender was not happy, as he had noticed that each of them were wearing tops with rude slogans on them. The Bartender said to the Englishman, "you do know that your t-shirt isn't suitable for the children in here, don't you?" "Oh," said the Englishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home to change it at once." Next, came the Irishman, who's top was slightly worse than the Englishman's. The bartender said to the Irishman, "you do know that the joke on your jumper is sexist, don't you?" "Oh," said the Irishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home and change it at once." Last, was the Scotsman. The Scotsman's top was particularly bad, and the bartender especially did not want this top to be seen in his bar. So, the bartender said to the Scotsman, "you do know that the slogan on your cardigan is racist, don't you?" "Oh," said the scotsman, "I'll go home and change it at once."

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: What does one man with alzheimer's say to the other man with alzheimer's. A: Purple, because magic doesn't go through chickens.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Not gonna tell you, that was one weird story, I feel like super high right now.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom T H E R E ' R E A L L D E A D!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

you were so loud you woke helen keller up!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Your mama's so fat she's going on weight-watchers to pursue a healthier lifestyle and avoid the longterm effects of obesity.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Two guys walk into a bat, they have a couple drinks then go home, one crashed and died in a horrible drunk driving accident. The other, who took a cab, went home and viciously beat his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the baby die, because he got herpes, so did his mother, there both dead now.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the man ask the woman on a date? They were both single and looking for a unique, romantic experience that could possibly turn into a long-term loving relationship.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What happens to men who grow up. They are probably taller

thumb_up thumb_down -16

roses are red violets are blue count my five damn finger , and the third one is for you!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two fish were lying on a bank. One said "I can't breath." The other one was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Dean Jones talk to his car? Because it was Herbie the love bug , a car possessed by a demon that had voice recognition capabilities and thus could understand him

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the man pick the flower? Because he didn't like flowers.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Chuck Norris can count from 1 to 100... twice!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

"Roses are Red" "Violets are Blue" That's what they say, But it isn't true. Violets are violet, Now stop sniffing glue!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

a man about 65 years old is tired with his life. he begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. whil on his way to commit suicide, he comes across a man with a magicul offer. the magical man is offering to grant him the power to fly. although, the magical man wants something in return. the 65 year old man, says to himself, "i have nothing to lose". so he gives the magical man all his money and possesions he has with him. with a flick of his wrist, the magical man says, "ok, you have now been granted the power to fly". the 65 year old man, overjoyed of how he has the ability to fly runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. too bad the magical man was really male prostitute broke out of money and tricked the 65 year old man into beleiving that he had magical powers to grant him the power to fly. the 65 yeard old man died from impact and the male prostitute walked away with a wallet full of money.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops