what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

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Q: why was the cow in the middle of the road? A: because it was dead

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What's the difference between Jesus and a painting? It only takes one nail to hang up a painting.

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What do you get if you cross a banana, a mango, and an apple? A smoothie

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Roses are Red Your Face Has Turned Blue This Pillow I have Is Smothering You

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What happen to the man who got drunk and passed out behind the wheel? He crashed into a tree, his car caught fire and then he got incinerated.

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Steven Hawkin ran a marathon.

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What did the spider say to the lobster? Nothing, they are enemies and don't live in the same habitat.

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your father died

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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A blond was walking alone down a street one night. Then she was suddenly mugged and raped. She reported her attacker but he was never caught.

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Why didn't Suzie go to the park? She commited suicide 2 years ago.

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What happened to the boy who ate a piece of his Halloween candy? He died. It was laced with cyanide.

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What's the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck; the other regrets having you as a child.

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What is holocaust victim's favorite food? Hamburgers.

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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hi corey

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender goes why do you have a cane? The man goes "I'm blind."

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's bigger.

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What's the difference between Marvin Gay and George Straight. They are two different people

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whats black and looks like a bucket a black bucket

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? KFC was on the other side

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I wanted to burn alot of calories so i found a fat kid and set him on fire. :3

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Whats even funnier than watching two black guys with guns attempting to shoot people Just about everything

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops