How many illegal immigrants does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Illegal immigrants don't use lights, they'd get caught. Dumbass.

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Runescape.

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watermelons are red, pineapples are yellow. i'm not a poet, say hello for me.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! Who's there?! ... Ditched again!

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what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

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...and the rabbit says, "How 'bout that schnitzel!"

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I scream. You scream. We all scream and huddle in a corner of our first grade classroom because of a masked gunman.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Except, technically, violets are violet.

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There's two homosexuals having sex in the back of a van...........they're over 21 what's wrong with that!

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"I just don't understand the difference between yours and mines." "Well, you see, yours belong to you, whereas mines explode when you step on them."

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How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea lives for around 5 minutes in hot water.

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what did the egg say to the boiling water? itll take a while to get hard cause i just got laid by a chick.

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Q: What's better than the Call Me Maybe video? A: A shot-for-shot parody of it featuring a GIMP! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFxnAITCv5o

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did you know that zach is the coolest person ever? no? well now you know

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Knock, Knock! Who's There? Your neighbor, I found your lost cat! Oh thanks!

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*spongebob voice* 25

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Q: Whats the difference between a guitar and a piece of ham? A: You can eat a piece of ham.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Johnny Johnny who? Johnny your son let me in mom! Son, I have something to tell you. What? Well, you're actually adopted *sobs*

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How do u turn on a lamp? Flip the switch

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What did the unicorn say to the horse? I have a horn and you don't.

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Why did the fox cross the road Because it didn't anticipate getting mashed by the passing lorry

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Yo mama so fat that you should maintain strong eye contact with her and not look at her body.

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"Knock Knock" "Just ring the bloody bell for once!"

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When Chuck Norris claps, his two hands slam together, creating rather loud soud.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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