What do you call a mexican without a lawn mower? .....unemployed

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Lol you are really adorable, is more like maybe we will ask you some time, but hey, if you are asking, I mean you are beautiful, insecure, easy to break... I am totally joking by the way, you are completely down to earth, you are sweet, you know what you want, etc etc, hey, and to know what you want in life you got to be confident. Wait a second... I "act" like a savage? Lawl, "streams of OceANUS catchphrase"

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A father of four joins the military. He returns home after his service.

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Q: What do you call a dog after the dentist? A: A dog.

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The government wants us to stop using gas and be eco friendly. Tell that to Hitler.

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Why is the child screaming? Because he just woke up from a bad dream.

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knock knock GO AWAY I'M IN THE SHOWER

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A padawan walks into a bar. He is promptly ridiculed by his master for not minding his surroundings.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Reading the same holocaust anti-jokes for the third time. Well the holocaust is worse, but that's not the point.

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What's the difference between a dead baby in my garage and a Ferrari in my garage? I don't have a Ferrari.

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Guy 1: That's what she said! HAHAHA!!! Guy 2: That's what who said? Guy 1: I don't know. :/

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What do you call a shop dedicated to selling watermelon, fried chicken and corn bread? A poor business model.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he.

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How did the leukemia patient die? He was shot in the leg repeatedly until he died of blood loss.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

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I LIKE TURLES.

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A lady goes into the store to buy potatoes. Then she eats them.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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Three ladies were seen eating ice cream. One of them was licking the ice cream. Another was sucking the ice cream and the other was biting the ice cream. One of these ladies is currently married. Which one among them is the married lady? The one with a wedding ring on.

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Haikus are easy But they don't always make sense. Refrigerator.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

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What's the difference between a black man and water? All black men have water in them, but not all water has a black man in it.

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Why didn't Jimmy ever get his butt of the couch? His butt was nailed to it and he was also dead. Why didn't his parents save him? they died before he did.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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