What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!"

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Why did the student shoot his teacher? Because he was super depressed and was just diagnosed with stage four brain cancer. And he was black.

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So a horse walks into a barn.

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What did the woman say to her husband after he came home from a late night of drinking? Nothing, because the last time she did, she got her ass beat.

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What type of cheese is not your cheese? The cheese that belongs to another person.

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What did the dogs say to Michael Vick? Arf Arf Arf, woof woof woof

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Three guys walk into a bar. The four man hastily ducks, grabs his phone and calls the local paramedic.

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Whats a cat? A cat!

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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a man walked into a bar "ouch"

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What is funnier then 25 9/11

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Why to lawyers wear neckties? It's part of the uniform.

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KNOK KNOK WHOES THERE APPLE APPLE WHO SEE THIS IS Y U BROKE UP

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what did the police do when they saw an arab running towards a building? Watched him run by because he was probably late for something

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Q. Why was the blonde fired from the M+M factory? A.She was addicted to meth.

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What do you call a white duck? A quacker

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 7 was osama bin laden

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What's funnier than 24? 9/11

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Whats worse than an oompa loompa a black midget

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What do you get when you mix Lil Wayne and Lil John? A full size John Wayne

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What did the scientist have to say about religion when he was asked by a local reporter? He said that it is a cultural system that creates powerful and long-lasting meaning, by establishing symbols that relate humanity to truths and values.

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Do they censor Ass? TESTING TESTING ASS ASS ASS

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it had earlier escaped from its cage and had since began to wonder around the local town

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How can you tell if a man is choking? Stick a fridge down his throat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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