Axel? Its Eliza, is that you? You alive again? I don't want to be no successor of anything, but thanks I guess. Neo-Nero has not shown up since you returned, I think he isn't very proud of himself and wont be a problem here on forward. He did push me aside, but now that you are alive, I wont even consider the thought of you "dying again" and unless you are dying or seriously ill, I don't want to hear anything about it. Seriously, how bad are you doing? Physically I mean? I am relieved, I mean we all thought you where dead.

thumb_up thumb_down

A man was walking down the street He was then killed in a drive by.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Robert supra not deep throwing kaleb law wrench

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man walks into a bar and the bartender says, "What's up?" The man replies, "The opposite of down."

thumb_up thumb_down -27

KENYAN HEALTHCARE kenyan water kenyan aids-free kenyan we dont have flies around us

thumb_up thumb_down +9

abcdHIV this disease is killing me

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the boy fall of his BMX? Because someone threw a dish-washer at him.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

My brother and I laugh at how competitive we used to be. But I laugh harder

thumb_up thumb_down +9

eyebrows up means ur flirting this isnt a joke dont laugh

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? It can never be certain, as chickens are incapable of communicating.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke-'er-face

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Wanna hear a good joke? Sure. So does Hellen Keller

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the apple say to the pear? Fred, you are going insane and i'm getting a divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

CJISTHEBEST Sticks and stones may break my bones because i have osteoperosis.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man returns from the army and finds his wife in bed with another man. He kills them both.

thumb_up thumb_down +562

What did the kid say when the doctor said he had cancer Oh No

thumb_up thumb_down -9

If I could rearrange the alphabet I probably wouldn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

There was an Irishman and an Australian who walked into a bar. There was also an American, who didn't. Why didn't the American walk into the bar? He was a midget.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

All dead all doom or all dead? How can you choose the question doesn't make sense. dead all dooom ohhhaklsdjfla;ksdjfal;skfjasd

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Why did the TV fall of a cliff? Because a nice man was donating it to the homeless shelter which hangs over a cliff. The man placed the TV in the back room on the floor. There was a weak spot on the floor and when the fattest homeless person walked over the floor, the floor broke which was a HUGE inconvenience because he TV and the fat man fell through the floor and over the cliff, luckily the TV was plugged in so it was hanging by the cord but an old lady with Alzheimer's forgot that there was a hole in the floor and unplugged the TV so she could clean the switches. In the end the TV fell off the cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between a park bench and a hobo? The park bench can support a family

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Christians

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a wild dog on the other side, so he crossed the road to avoid potential danger.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops