Salt: "Hi there!" Slug: "AAÀAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!" *dies*

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Your mom goes to college

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Q: What did the serail rapist say to his best friend? A: You're a good friend

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So when I came home from work the other day, I saw tha my dog was foaming at the moth, so I took him to the vet It turns out that my dog didn't have a thing for marshmallows but had rabies instead and was promptly put down.

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rent a cops

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He had escaped a KFC.

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops.

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Why did the blonde get a tattoo of her adress on her arm? She never wanted to forget her great childhood at her family home, and she hoped that she would come back some day.

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whats short and has spots? A mouse with the chicken pocks.

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What is the best thing about dating a slut? You can return her at Build-a-Hoe Workshop.

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How do u bring a dead person to life? U dont.

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What do you call two men kissing? Gay.

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A man walks into a bar... ...because he is blind.

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What did the man say to his wife at the funeral. Nothing, he was dead

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS

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If a plane crashes on the boarder of Canada and The U.S.A- Where would they burry the survivors.

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Ants are the Velociraptors of the insect world.

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What is white and re(a)d all over? White paper that is dyed red.

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Wanna hear a race joke?.....whoops, ya missed it

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What did the black man say to his wife on valentines day? - You are fat

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why did the chicken cross the road? i don't know u tell me

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what is the difference between a bucket of shit and a black person? the bucket the bucket

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A man said to a performer performin in a concert,"Go break a leg!". The performer did not respond because he is perfoming.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops