Roses are red, Violets are blue, My name's Dave, Microwave!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did a blonde and a Puerto Rican name their baby? Joshua, after the blonde's grandfather who passed away a year earlier.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why is wood brown Because wood is brown

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Want to hear something funny? Sure, what? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was Shane cool... Because he was a cool bean.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what you say to the kid that just hit puberty? your a young man

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A blonde is elected President of the United States. Half way through her inauguration speech, she forgets how to read.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

justin beiber is having intimate sex with a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's fat and ginger? My dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a nun who is just walking around? A Roman Catholic

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse than a cow on the ceiling? - two cows on the ceiling.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the catholic priest go to jail He was a paedophile

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you tell a woman with two black guys? Domestic violence is a crime. She should leave her abusive partners and seek help.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

how do you break up with someone lightly and not hurt their feeling I dont want to hurt your feeling but i hate you

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why didn't the blonde laugh at my blonde joke? She's dead. She should of laughed at my jokes more.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock knock. Who is it? The police officer. ok, im not home.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar stool. He then proceeds to look over and said a man in a suit and tie open up the window , jumps, and begins to float in mid air. In amazement he approaches the man. He says " That's amazing! How do you do that?" The man in the suit and tie replies "Drink this liquid and you will be able to fly." The man with excitement quickly rushes to the window, opens it, and suddenly falls to his death. The bartender says to the man with the suit and tie " Superman, you're a real dick when your drunk."

thumb_up thumb_down -44

-Why didn't a girl cry after she fell down with her bike? -Because a handlebar pinned her lung.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Black...

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I have five fingers, When will you put the ring on the one NEXT to the middle one? Never?! F you.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A man walks into a bar, and says "ow."

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the student go to university? To pursue a higher education.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why did the man sell the car and bought worse one? it' s his hoby to restore cars

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the boy do when he was bored and broke? He took to the streets selling illicit drugs such as cocaine. Although dangerous, the rush from said danger solved his boredom problem. On top of this, there is a huge market for such substances and he was not broke for much longer.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops