God bless America, and no where else.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

your mothers so blonde she has yellow hair.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you check that you are not dreaming, but in actual fact, you are wide awake? Try to bite off our finger (this is actually possible, but the brain does not allow you to do it).

thumb_up thumb_down +43

what did Susie, the girl with no arms, say after she fell off the swing? nothing, she was killed on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you get a one armed man out of a tree? you throw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was a self-absorbed prick. And, honestly, the chicken and the road weren't that great of friends anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did Jack give Jill for Christmas? Herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between a bomb and a muslim? Nothing. The difference is only apparent. At the fundamental basic building blocks of the universe, everything is made up of quarks.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z i left out p.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Christmas presents.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the blonde kid lose the spelling bee? Because she misspelled a word.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why doesn't Santa Claus give presents to African children? Because Santa Claus isn't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why couldn't the Asian reach the sink? Because he was a 4 year old boy, and was only about 3 feet tall.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why do you almost never hear Americans complain about doing their laundry? Because they have a washing machine and they realize the majority of people in developing nations do their laundry by hand, using a wash board.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I ENJOY MASTURBATING

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What if the rest of you value something wrong?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are brown, Violets are brown, it seem's that someone has been bathroom on my lawn. "Martha, I'm not cleaning this up"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I LIKE TRAINS

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A guy named Dick goes into a bar and the barman says: - "hey, show my your dick" - "show you my what?" asks Dick. - "your dick!" - "oh! no, I'm shy"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the man known to his neighbors as 'Teetotal Al' buy himself a bottle of whisky? Because there was no factual basis to his nickname.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the penis say to the vagina? Nothing, genitalia can't speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops