What happened when a terrorist puts a bomb in a hospital? Everyone dies cause it was a hospital for crippled people

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wh@t d0 y0u c@II @ d0g5sh£t w1th n0 sm£II? 0ID d0gsh£T

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Why didn't the [any object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. Why didn't the [other object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. [repeat ad infinitum]

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Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

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Did you see Ray Charles's house? No. Yeah, neither did he.

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What's worse than watching paint dry or grass grow? Watching paint dry on grass.

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How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos (make a dipping and snacking motion).

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!!

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Q; What do you call a dog? A; A dog.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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how do you confuse a blond?

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Why do Kenyans run so much? Because they like it.

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What do you call a cow without legs? Disabled.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for chrismas? cancer

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A man walks into a bar. He sees his wife with another man. That man is his brother.

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What's funnier than House? Family Guy.

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What do you get when you cross a Shake Weight with Parkinson's Disease? You get a sentence that doesn't explain the end of the joke and leaves you without any closure.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Dick! Dick who? Dick Stewart, your neighbor from next door!

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John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead. John rolls his eyes at sam very dissapointedly then proceeds to go home. The next day Sam phones John excitedly telling him he traded his Green day tickets for Oasis tickets, a smile appears on Johns and Sams faces, not that they can see each other, they both then put the phone down. An African died. Green Day are a bad band.

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what did the kid do after the rabbit told him trix are for kids? he beat him with a stick then ate some sushi.

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A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

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What did mr. Mackey say to his class. It's easy mkay

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Your mom's house is so old, that she has rats and other various critters such as spiders, gnats, and mosquitoes.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? To run away from the angry chicken who was mad that he was slacking off work.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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