What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family

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You want to hear a joke. Sure. A black president. Oh wait...

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How are a black man, a hispanic man, and a chinese man similar? Believe it or not they all love cantaloupe!

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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An englishman, a scotsman and an irishman walk into a bar together. They sit down at the bar, and the barman says, "What is this, some kind of joke?!"

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What do you call an unfunny comment that demeans a group of people? Bigotry

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How do you stop a fridge from making contact with the ground? Cut its cable's ground pin.

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I jacked off over a blind girl the other day, she never saw me coming

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Guess what? Bananas

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Why doesn't the black man have a job? He's working on his masters degree.

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Why do people often give Jimmy strange looks? Because Jimmy has Down Syndrome

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the barber shop, which was located on the other side of the road. He then walked to the crosswalk, patiently waited, then crossed when the little person lit up.

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What do you call a man who leaves his wife and kids to be with another woman? A dick.

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why did the boy have to go to the dentist he was hit by a brick

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tennis grunts . . . no different from sex noises

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Why did the chicken cross the street? I don't know really

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Why did the ship get lost at sea? The captain was a piece of bread.

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Q /why do people eat dinner? A/ because their hungry

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My mother always said that jumping in piles of leaves was fun. That was before she was swallowed whole by a 10 foot scorpion.

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense..............

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Maybe because it had escaped from the farm and as it doesn't have full conciousness, it couldn't distinguish between grass and the asphalt, so it happened to cross the road.

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Knock knock.* Who is it? The police. We have news that your daughter was molested and will never been seen again for the man who stole her has takin' her out of our jurisdiction.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Sgt. Richard, here... your son was raped many times by Iranian soldiers, then forced to make love to many goats and had his limbs chopped off.. he will never be able to walk, talk or poop without assistance again. OH MY GOD, NO!.. WHY!!! Haha just kidding mam, he stepped on a landmine and died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops