"Roll back into the kitchen and imagine me a sandwich!" yelled the abusive husband to his paraplegic wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the man yell? Cause he wanted to!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Because he always increases the treble input in his songs, and he doesnt have a rod.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is the worse joke to tell a Orpahn Knock Knock Whos there not your parents

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the african american ninja say to the jewish bartender? Can I have a beer?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Question:Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Answer:Because she had no arms or legs. Question:What did little Susie get for Christmas? Answer: a bike, and cancer Question: what did little Susie get next Christmas? Answer: nothing, she didn't live that long... Knock knock Who's there Not little Susie

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you get an annoying baby to shut up? Hit it with a bat

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the dog start barking? Because it was a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

This is my first joke don't ????mine. You did didn't you.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what didn't Jon go to the movies? He tripped and broke his neck and cant look up

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats worse than getting in an arrow in the side of your neck Finding out there is a gas bill tied to it

thumb_up thumb_down -29

You had 10 bricks on an airplane, you throw one. How many do you now have? 9. How do you get the elephant in the fridge? Open the fridge put the elephant in. How do you get the giraffe in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in. There was an animal meeting, all animals were invited. Which animal was missing? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge. An old woman wants to cross a river that was full of crocodiles. How does she cross without getting eaten? The crocodiles were at the animal meeting, so she got across safely. She dies anyways. What happened? She was hit by the brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why Does God Hate Gays? He Doesent, God Does Not Exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How many rabbits does it take to screw in a light buld? None, it is scientifically impossible for a rabbit to climb a ladder and screw in a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the black man smell really bad? A: becuase he ran out of paper

thumb_up thumb_down +7

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait i think i missed the joke, what?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? the pizza wont scream when you put it in the oven.....

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the black man go to jail? Because he committed a criminal offense.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats better than 7 babies tied to 1 tree 1 baby tied to 7 trees

thumb_up thumb_down +3

whats 2=2? gonorrhea.

thumb_up thumb_down

If 1 + 2 = 3 Then, what does 2 + 1 equal? It equals 3 due to the fact that reversing the order of numbers does not change the outcome of the equation :D

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice titttttss.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops