Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the blonde say when she saw anti-joke.com for the first time? Nothing. She's been in a vegetative state for three years and her parents finally decided to pull the plug.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red. So is bacon, Poetry is hard . bacon.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? Homeless

thumb_up thumb_down -29

So a man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest of this joke, but your mom is a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why couldnt jimmys feet touch the ground? he was hanging.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. knock knock. who's there? the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you make a blonde happy? Do something that causes that person to release endorphins.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what happend when the magic man touched fire? He got burnt screamed in my ear and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the rapper Proof say when he got in a fight? Nothing, Proof is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was the baby crying? It wasn't it got hit by a bus and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the boy have for lunch? A sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

An American, a Mexican, and a black guy all walked into the same bar. Why did the 'BEWARE OF METAL BAR' sign have to be in japanese?!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q. A couple went on a boat. The boat sank. Every single person died, who survied? A. The couple.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I had a dream I watched Inception.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken cross the road?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a lettuce named Andrew? Andrew.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

http://adf.ly/C8MqG

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call Bob if he gets a nose ring? Bob

thumb_up thumb_down -24

To clowns walk into a bar. They don't notice each other because as soon as they walk to a 5-yard radius, the length that was said to be the range of a clowns eyesight (which was actually said by a controversial scientist, looked on as a madman; he created a whole clown-eyesight-range conspiracy), when a fire starts, creating a huge apocalyptic event. However, the two clowns go into the bar unphased. Both clowns then turn opposite directions. The clown on the right sits down with his drink and takes out his book about the Victorian Era. He constantly checks his watch. The clown on the left disapears into the croud, and steals french fries from table 36. After three hours, they both walk to the back of the bar, simultaneously tying their shoes not noticing their similarity in career choices. They both open a door marked PRIVATE (while tying their shoes). After sixteen days of exactly the same thing happening repeatedly... Both clowns see eachother on the way out of the bar. Little do the know that they are being watched by the scientist I mentioned earlier. Two Years Later Both clowns die instantly after being attacked by a giant war hammer-wielding octopus on the way home from the circus.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is the definition of “making love”? Something a woman does while a guy is f-ing her.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the balck man sit at the back of the bus? Because all the other seats were taken.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do a Mexican, and American, a black guy, and an Asian all have in common? Believe it or not, they all like cantalope.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the Muslim do when he got on the bus? He realized he was in the wrong place and got on a plane and blew it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops