What do you call a black woman in a pool? Drowning.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Your mom's your dad's wife. Except when she's not.

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A man and his wife are disagreeing about what type of car to get. The wife continously nags him about getting her something that will go from 0-200 in 4 seconds, so he gets her a scale and buys himself a truck, 1 min later an abulance is called because the wife hit the husband with his new car.

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There's a fair in a small town in Scotland. In this fair is a sheep judging contest. There are 3 sheep lined up for judging. The judge looks at the first sheep and says "Wow! This is the most beautiful sheep I've ever seen! This sheep just might win!" Then he proceeds to the second sheep. He says "This sheep is even more beautiful than the first! This sheep just might win!" Then he goes to the third sheep. He says "UGH! This is the ugliest most disgusting sheep I've ever seen! There is no way this sheep will win this contest!" And the sheep looks up at him and says, "You think I'm ugly? Well I'm not."

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A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

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Why was the teenage girl pregnant? She got raped by her dad.

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What did the Chinese man do with the sick dog he found in the alleyway? He took it to the vet, nursed it back to health, and later helped the dog get adopted by a nice family down the street.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who?

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

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So this blond chick walks into a bar, and orders a drink.

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What's worse then ten dead babies in a garbage can? Being the one who found them.

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8=>

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If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

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what do you do if you catch syphilis from a Swedish prostitute? seek the help of a medical professional.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice tits.

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What's green, has 4 legs and can kill you if lands on your head? a pool table.

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Chuck Norris will die sometime in the future.

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roses aren't red, violets aren't blue, they're all black, cause i'm colorblind. what about you?

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Why was the black man a victim of racial prejudice? because he was black

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What do you call a large group of Apes attacking San Francisco? Well, it isn't called anything but coincidentally there is a movie called Rise of the Planet of the Apes which was released August 5, 2011 starring James Franco and Andy Serkis. -David Bruggen

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Why did the girl fall of the swing? I hit her with an axe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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