How do you save a black person from drowning? Take your foot off his head.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was blind and deaf, which would e very unsafe to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -96

What do you do if you are locked inside a car with a baseball bat? Unlock the car

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the man die in his office? Because a storm five miles away took down a power line that fell onto a truck igniting the fuel in it causing an explosion that started a forest fire that burned down another power line causing a spark to fly out of the man's phone and into his ear, killing him instantly.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

When life gives you lemons, you are most likely in the fruit section of the grocery store.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your mom is so fat that she has type 2 diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

The anti joke that repeats itself :(

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Your mamas so stupid, her IQ is lower than the average person of her age group.

thumb_up thumb_down

Two parrots are in a cage. The one looks at the other one and says, "answer the phone," and the other one says, "where are my car keys."

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you you know when you haven't slept in a while? You're tired.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A duck walks into a bar and the bartender says"What do u want?" The ducks replays "EVERY DAY IM SHUFFLING!!!" The bartender slaps the duck in its face and quid his job. The bar has a hard time finding a replacement and his business dies. THE END

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the clown say to the other clown? I was not present at this conversation, and therefore I was not able to catch what they were saying

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a Triceratops.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

there was a tomatoes and it blew up and died. Why did it blow up? The Nazi's needed ketchup for there Jew Burgers

thumb_up thumb_down -50

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? "Get in the car."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the cat cross the street? It didn't. I cut off its arms and legs so it couldn't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why couldn't the old man see? He was deaf

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John. John Anderson. Dude we've been friends since first grade! You really don't remember me? I'm going home!

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a hickey on your shoulder? Bad aim -Cooper Simpson

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Chuck Norris walks into a bar. Everybody leaves except Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson never walked out alive

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What would we do with out women? Die and then become extinct

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Have u seen stevie wonders new house? No. Niether has he

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the girl die? She read Twililght

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops