A pussy walks into a bar and orders a drink, the bar keeper asks " why are you such a pussy!" The pussy then says, "it's not my fault I'm a cat!" before getting run over

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says "get out you jew!" The bar tender apparently was a Nazi.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Knock knock GET OUTTA HERE! Jesus Christ dude I just came for some eggs!....

thumb_up thumb_down +56

What does a blonde say when she wants to order a large pizza ? "Hi, I would like a large pizza, please."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a girl with one leg? Eileen

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she knew there would be quaffles!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A man walk into a bar. Just kidding he has no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Logan's gay

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a dumb blonde with no hair? You don't, since there is no way of knowing that she is blonde.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -5,097

Two fish are in a tank. One asks the other, "How do you drive this thing?"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was David sad? Because he got his head stuck in a window.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Jennifer shit herself? Because there was a black man staring through her window!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's a black guys favourite thing to eat? Food.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

One time a man cut off Chuck Norris while driving, and Chuck Norris kindly excused the man's lack of consideration for his fellow drivers.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

* two sisters are making yo mama jokes* * mom turns around* mom: Hey yo mama so stupid ... sister one: ummmm.... sister two: sure thats not you?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call an Arab man flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the man with the gun say to the man without the gun? I have a gun

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Two muffins are in the oven, one looks at the other and says, "it sure is hot in here." The other responds, "AAhHH a TALKING MUFFIN."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is invisible and smells like carrots? Invisible carrots.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,085

Why did Harry Potter go to meet Professor Lupin? --Because he wanted to practice casting his Patronus

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A chicken crossed the road and the farmer said, "Where the hell is that chicken going!?"

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Those days where everything goes wrong, and you think to yourself "I just gotta do whats right here"... ...Sigh... 2. DO YOU KNOW WHY I HATE YOU SO MUCH? BECAUSE I HATE YOU! (Blame is on me, love and hate are not opposites, send me a copy of your book, and ill rip it out for you)

thumb_up thumb_down -182

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops