I went to the doctors the other day for a check up and the doctors says to me "sorry your going to have to stop wanking" and I say to him " what! Why?" and the doctor says "I'm trying to examine you".

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person 1 - what's big, green and ugly? person 2 - don't know. what's big, green and ugly? person 1 - nothing is

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Why was the 13 year old drug addict crying? Because somebody shot him in the foot

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Why do girls like nikki minaj? Because she raps good. -Avery Vartanian

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What did Death say to Life? Go die.

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Why was the girl stupid? Because she had blonde hair.

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Why did the black man run from the officer? The officer was trying to rape him.

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Q. How can you tell if a snake bites? A. It depends on if he walks to school or carries his lunch.

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If I had a gun with only 2 bullets, and was in a room with Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and you; i would shot Hitler and Osama because they committed terrible crimes

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How do you make a doctor cry? Kill his family.

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What is big, grey and can't climb trees? A car park.

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Why? Because.

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There were two bagels sitting on a table in Denny's. One bagel turns to the other and says, "So how did that job interview go?" The other replies, "It went great, thanks".

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"The lack of a punch line is the punch line" Oh

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what can you say about a midget dressed as a clown? he had a terrible childhood.

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Knock knock Whos there An axe murderer oh sweet come on in.... dinners on the stove and i am here all alone

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Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

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Dear mom, I'm wearing skinny jeans. If I can't get them off, Neither can the rapist.

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You and your parents are going to die today

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what do you get if you cross a lion with a pig? nothing as the lion would more than likely end up eating the high in fat pig.

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Guess what my dad got me for my birthday? NOTHING, he left my mom and I when I was a baby.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

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Why couldn't the blonde screw in the light bulb?? - she happened to be autistic

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What's brown and sticky? Vomit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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