Why do sea guls fly over the sea? In order to get from place to place, flying is much faster than walking. Sea guls live on a diet of salt-water fish, and the ocean is where their main food supply subsides.

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Whats worse than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork

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What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

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Why did the portuguese fisherman take out a $20,000 loan with a reknown loan shark at exorbitant interest rates? He needed to buy a kidney on the black market for his drug addicted daughter who had also destroyed his credit score meaning he coudln't get a loan from the usual credit facilities such as banks and credit unions.

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit it with an axe!

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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Sam murray got home after school one day, he siad hello to his father and possibly played some Avatar on the D.S

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A murder, a cheater, and a liar walk into a bar..... Woah the aptriots must be in town -Rocco Tufano

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How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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Why really answer a question when you can just respond, "because you touch yourself." For example, Q: Why did fluffy die? A: Because you touch yourself.

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Every sixty seconds in Africa... a minute passes - plz like to save Africa!

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What's green and has wheels? A frog in a wheelchair

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What's big and white and wilbkill you if it falls from a tree? My dick.

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How do you kill a blonde? A gun, knife, there are a number of ways really...

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? I just said it was Steve

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What's the safest way to tell a racist joke? Ask everybody who might hear the joke if they would be offended by a racist joke.

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A blonde girl walks into a screen door. She is blind.

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What would a man say if you urinated all over his legs? WHAT THE DEUCE?

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What do you call a dog with no legs? What ever you want, its still not going to come.

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Why did Obama give a speech? Because he is the president and people look up to him

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What is Chuck Norris's favorite musical theme? Tanana na na naa naa na, ta ta ta tanana na naa na ta na na.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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Wanna know what's funny? A joke.

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How do you punish Helen Keller You don't, she's dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops