Whats slippery and wet? A wet slipper.

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A mosquito flies into a bar and orders a bloody mary, the bartender then takes out a swatter and kills the pest. Noticing the event, the patrons cheer and continued drinking their frothy beverage. Minutes later, the phone rings and the bartender answers the phone. "Hello?" "Hi, I'm looking for a friend of mine, is he there?" "Let me check, by the way, what's his name?" "Jack Hoff" "One sec. HEY FELLAS(yelling over the noisy bar), IS THERE A JACK HOFF HERE? I NEED A JACK HOFF! ANYONE?" Mr. Hoff, sitting at the bar hears this and asks, "who is it?" "He said he's a friend of yours!" "Which one?" " He said his name's Dick Stroker and he needs help on something hardhe'll meet you around back." "Oh ok, thanks."

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A Chinese man and an american lived together. The Chinese man said to the american man, "I'm going to walk the dog." The American said "OK." Later that night they were eating dinner. The American said to the Chinese man, "I don't think that I've had this meat before. What is it?" The Chinese man replied, "The dog." The American, surprised, spewed out the food he was eating. "THE DOG!?" he yelled, shocked. The Chinese man replied, "Yes, I TOLD you I was going to wok the dog!"

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Let's go burn down an orphanage, what are they gonna do tell their parents?

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how could you not hav not died of dehyderation?

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a disabled person walked into a bar..oh wait

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What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas? Mittens

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What did the underprivileged girl get for Christmas? Nothing because Santa Claus is a media generated holiday icon and the real St. Nicolas has been deceased for almost 700 years.

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Dad: hi son Kid: (looks sad and looks at the ground) Dad: what's wrong son. Kid:I raped a girl. Dad:Who? Did you rape son! Kid:mom.

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Why did the family at dinner not tip the waiter? He was mean and spat in their food.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side... (other side as in the afterlife, for it committed suicide by crossing the road)

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Why was the poor man poor? Because he doesnt make money

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Q. How are a bird and a turtle alike? A. They both fly. Except the turtle.

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How did Nissan show its new car in there commircals By driving very fast and hitting fat kids $

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What do Kobe Bryant and a toaster have in common? They both rape white women. Except for the toaster.

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why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he needed to get to the other side and he was using a crosswalk

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Why does the boy like ice-cream? It tastes good.

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? None, you don't have to be jewish to change a light bulb

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What do you call a dog with 3 legs? Just because it has 3 legs dosnt mean you have to call it anything different

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Mitt Romney for president.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

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You know what's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile where one's alive in the middle, and has to eat his way out.

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Why is Timmy a dumbass ? He's not, because asses cannot, by definition, be intelligent, so it is unnecessary to qualify it as "dumb".

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An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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