A man walks to a bar and sees a very hot blonde sitting across the room. Turns out it was actually a blonde man and they both had a wonderful night because they were both homosexual.

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Ask me if I'm a toaster Are you a toaster? No, I'm a tree.

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Hitler was Jewish.

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your no better than a cockroach

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Why did the boy break his leg? Because he fell off a building

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How do you do you cure cancer? Very carefully.

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What to you do when a monkey walks into your bar? Quietly escort it out and into the nearest zoo.

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a pope and a catholic priest walk into a bar... the priest orders... then the pope says to the bartender "I'll have what hes having." so the bartender takes out a small child and says ...."are you sure?"

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Why was the man happy to see his wife dead? He beat her

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What is black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Black berries.

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What's worse than being short? Being a Tutsi in 1994.

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Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. I slipped you a roofie, get ready for me.

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What's blue and has two windows ? The sky, i lied about the windows.

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There were three men walking across the road and it started to rain

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what did the chocolate bar say to the ice cream cone? nothing: chocolate bars can't talk

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How do you kill a blonde? Pull the pin and throw it back...then proceed to paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Yo mommas so fat We are terribly concerned about her health

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What did the man say to the cat. ~It doesn't matter it impossible for 2 Species to Communicate between one another.

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What is small, slimy, and thrown in the garbage? A stillborn

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How do you make lady gaga cry? Give her bad romance haven't you heard this joke before......DUMBASS

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Why did Simon drown? Simon couldn't swim.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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What's blue and smells like red paint? That blue guy from Megamind.

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Roses are red. Violets blue i do fuck people. MAYBE u too?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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