Knock Knock Who's There Your doctor... You have Aids

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#FEARtheFLAMINGOS

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What's better than winning the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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I walked into an elevator with Ray Rice...

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Your mom smells so bad that she proceeded to take a shower and then didnt smell bad at all.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Q: What do you call a black person with one leg? A: In modern American society, it is proper etiquette to adress somebody by their first name.

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Do you like flowers NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOW GET ME A COKE! And a pizza

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I wouldn't touch ellen degeneres with a 10 foot lance. However, i would shake her hand with my hand. Lesson: 10 foot lances are no way to touch ppl.

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Why did Susy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? NOT SUSY!

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What is green and red all over? A christmas tree that is internally bleading.

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Q.whats long, black and hard to cut through? A.a line at kfc!

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Why did the Gay person fall down? He got shot.

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Why did the referee go to the zoo? He likes animals

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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What does the Fawkes say? "Remember, remember, the 5th of November..."

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What is Helen Keller's dogs name? She had fish.

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why do you throw the baby up the tree??. to get me ball back.

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i committed murder

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What did the fish say? Moo

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet I probably wouldn't.

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Three peasants were brought in front of the King to be rewarded for their assistance during a drought. The King told them that they could each request one thing from him that he could provide. The first man asked to be rich, so the King ordered his guards to fetch a large sack that was filled to the brim with gems and gold pieces. The man thanked the King and left his palace joyfully. The second man asked for a larger house so the King gave him access to one of his many castles. He hurriedly left, eager to try out his new home for size. The third man asked for a cat so the King gave him a cat.

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Friends are like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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