Knock Knock Go Away

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Q: How did the robber steal a laptop from best buy? A: With his hands

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? monkey see monkey do why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? it lost its footing why did the girl fall down? she was hit by four monkeys and a refridgerator

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So, there's a black man, an Asian man and an Irishman who are in a bar, politely discussing wether the Asian's phone would break if it was thrown from a plane in the Pacific Ocean. The black man says "Of course it would break." The Irishman says "I have no opinion on this..." The Asian man says "I think it would break, you are right John." Suddenly, a man enters.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause Magic Johnson has AIDS

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She was too tired and was afraid that if she got behind the wheel it might cause her to fall asleep at the wheel which would result in an accident.

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Three men walk into a bar. Start drinking, fight each other and sustain massive head injuries.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder lately? No? Neither has he.

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How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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what do you call a dog with no legs? whatever his owner named him it is a shame he can`t run and play with other dogs.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She didn't own a car.

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why was ej's penis hard? because he had just got done having fine exquisit sex which he had ejaculated with a sturn body builder name frank who he had been seeing for the past few months.

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When life gives you lemons... Be thankful you're not starving, a**hole.

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A black man texts his wife to tell her that he is going to be late coming home from work.....Just kidding, pay phones cannot send text messages.

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A peice of dust floats into a bar. Its a peice of dust so no one notices it.

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A blind Man walks into a Bar. A young man quickly runs over to him and helps him up.

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An old man gets into a van with two little boys. They are his grandsons.

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Lebron James in the 4th quarter.

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What did the two doctors say to each other? We are both doctors.

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What did the man with no teeth say? I need some teeth.

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Click thumb up i will be eternally grateful

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why did the kid get a bad grade he didnt study

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There was a Mexican in a bomb shop ?

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse, "Why the long face?" The horse cannot understand what the bartender said and instead finds it threatening, so it has a complete spasm and wrecks the whole bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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