Hey, do you want to play the rape game ? NO! That's the spirit

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i like my rose red and my diamonds blue your screamin mercy so did ur mom but i killed her to

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What did Al gore say after he sold his TV Station to Arab Oil Money? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. CHA-CHING!

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What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Unless it's muscular dystrophy.

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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Two hunters are in the woods. One of them clutches his chest, falls to the ground, and loses consciousness. In a panic, the other hunter calls 911 and tells the operator that his friend might be dead of a heart attack. The operator says "Before we send a coroner instead of an ambulance, first make sure he's dead." The hunter says "Alright." There is a pause and then BLAM! "Okay," says the hunter, "now what?" The operator follows standard procedures to keep the hunter on the phone, lucid and calm. 45 minutes later, police reach the scene, arrest the hunter and begin a months-long investigation. Forensics determines that the dead hunter was likely alive prior to being shot in the face at point-blank range. The defendant is charged with first-degree murder and receives a 30-year sentence. On the 9th year of his sentence, he is stabbed in the chest 6 times by an initiate in a rival prison gang and dies the next day. He was 53.

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Why did the Jew wear a beanie while playing soccer? Because he shaved his head

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Whats worse than getting a paper-cut? Getting shot. In the head. Three times.

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I'm attracted to you like the earth is attracted to the sun. With a force that is inversely proportional to the distance squared.

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What do gay horses eat? A combination of straw and legumes, much like heterosexual horses do.

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A man climbs up a tree. Once he reaches the top he is scared and thus incapable of getting down.

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Whats worse than being a student? Being raped.

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What's big, red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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How do you burn Lebron James's house? With fire.

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A. THERE'S SOMETHING ON YOUR FACE B. WHAT?!? *PUNCH* A. IT WAS PAINNNNNNNNN

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

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your social life.

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Why did the black man walk into the catholic church? He was catholic.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the baby fall off the swing? Because i hit it with a bat.

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Whats a cat? A cat!

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What did the disabled boy get on Christmas morning? Cancer.

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Q: How did the black guy die? A: After a long battle with a terrible case of pneumonia he struggled to breath and died a slow and peaceful death... R.I.P. Dad

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Obama

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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