If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the pirate fall off his ship? He got pushed off by another pirate

thumb_up thumb_down -2

look im not better than you, your a ten im a two your a queen im a fool you got looks i got scares u got talent i got beuty to its a win win

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I am not Moral Man. Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUU

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why can't Helen Keller hear? She's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What's worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. What's worse than a pile of dead babies? One baby is alive in the middle. What's worse than that? He is eating his way out...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than the Holocaust? Nothing, shit went down so bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Are you related to Yoda? because yoda-licious!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call it when the sh*t hits the fan? The sh*t hits the fan.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are rde, violets are bule, I am dyslexic, how about you?

thumb_up thumb_down +35

why did the donkey kick the men bc he tryed to pen the tail on hes ass

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the pelican cross the road? The man did not reply because his mother recently died in a car accident while crossing the road. She also loved pelicans.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Leukemia

thumb_up thumb_down -17

my grandpa told me "dont let fear rule your life" 2 hours later he got hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: How does a chicken get to work? A: A chicken does not go to work. Chickens can not legally be employed for any position in any country as they are chickens, are not human, and do not posses any prerequisites required to be hired for any existing employable position.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do an eagle and a badger have in common? They both live underground...except the eagle

thumb_up thumb_down -40

We decided to post a joke on anti-joke and see if we can get any rapings

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Ask me if I'm wearing pants. Are you wearing pants? Yeah.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the slaughter house

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A teenage girl walks into a bar. She sits down and watches the TV up against the wall. The bartender walks by and says "Hello, do you have I.D." The girl says "No, I'm just here waiting for my ride." The bartender then says "Well I'm sorry to have to tell you this but you gotta be 21 or over to sit in the bar." The girl says "Okay, but is there anywhere I can wait that is safe?" The bartender asks "Why?" and the girl replies "Well, I've been hiding from my ex boyfriend. I just broke up with him an hour ago. He was very controlling and he is still not over me. So now I'm here waiting for my new boyfriend." The bartender says "What you have a new boyfriend already? Maybe that's why your ex was angry." The girl says "yeah, I know, oh look there's my ride. It was nice talking with you, have a good night."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Atheism

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Q: What do you get when you put an ice cube, a grasshopper, a cell phone battery, and a human finger in a freezer? A: A very strange mix of objects indeed.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

y do churches have kneelers?, cuz it puts less stain on ur knees

thumb_up thumb_down +78

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops