How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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Why was the man shot in the head twice? He wasn't because he died after the first and it is nearly impossible to survive a gunshot to the head.

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Why did the pregnant Mexican cross the border? Nobody knows. She was shot down on site.

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A priest and a bunch of boys are in a room. They are having choir practice.

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Why doesnt snow like Asians? Snow is a form of precipitation within the Earth's atmosphere in the form of crystalline water ice, consisting of a multitude of snowflakes that fall from clouds. Since snow is composed of small ice particles, it is a granular material. It has an open and therefore soft structure, unless packed by external pressure. Snowflakes come in a variety of sizes and shapes. Types which fall in the form of a ball due to melting and refreezing, rather than a flake, are known as graupel, ice pellets or snow grains. Therefore since snow is unhuman they are then thus incapable of emotions because they lack any vitals organs.

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whats worse than stubbing your toe? being gang raped and then killed

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Lad: Whats that smell Girl: Nothing Lad: That is right nothing now get into the kitchen!

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What is the secret to winning football games? Score the most points.

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what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

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guhhjghkjghjgkwefyuwefgehdfbfryfgwdfhdbfadhfbewifoyqgefhqjdbsjdkdfbnqerwifuqbdjsa wuefgeyfgdshkjjhgfiuyegfdhfbdksabnfehwbfeiofqwrypweqiryewpiryewufhdjfbxncmsbahewf bdcuhbwewhuxnyfurgbcyuiwfbewcyiubnyfeurieixybnqweircbnewociuxnbweu crbweyuicyxbreuwxcybewuoiqbyxeowucybnqweucbnowieywicybrqweiubncyqoweubnrcyuowiebno

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2 guys are on a scaffolding. One of them says to the other "If you fall from here, theres a high probability you will die"

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people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

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Son: Dad what does it mean to f***? Dad: Jimmy! don't use that kind of language.. use the word chainsaw instead. Son: Ok, well what does it mean to chainsaw? Dad: Well as you know, God created people, he started with Adam and eve and then he- Son: You keep referring to god as a he, are you suggesting that God has a penis? I guess that would explain the big bang theory... right? get it? Dad: ... Go chainsaw yourself, Jimmy.

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was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

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What is worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? Being eaten by a giant octopus. What's worse than being eaten by a giant octopus? 3 Bee Stings!

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what do you call a homosexual kid? A Kerich

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A man walks into a bar. He was the barman. [L]

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the NAACP

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet with his great grandmother who got rushed to hospital due to having an epileptical seizure and is in life threatning conditions.

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What's better then finding an apple in the Holocaust? Finding a tunnel under the fence.

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Whats worse than getting in an arrow in the side of your neck Finding out there is a gas bill tied to it

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A blind man walks into a bar. The shopkeeper says, "the bar is nextdoor." The man walks out.

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Q: Why are black people black? A: Cause they're from Africa.

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What did George Washingtn say to is men before crossing the Delaware? Men, get in the boat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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