What's better than Justin Bieber's new hit single, "Baby"? Everything

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What did the Jew say to the Catholic? Nothing. He is a mute you insensitive moron!

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Knock knock Knock knock Knock knock I have outsimers Wait why am i here?

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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What do you call a black and white ruler? Barack Obama.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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Q: What is a African man with funny clothing and children straddling onto his back for dear life/ screaming in fear who only a few minutes ago before a particular incident made several young children cry and being chased by an authority figure? A: An intentionally inane circus performer partcipating in a scintillating rendition alongside his two children of who inadvertently frightened a small group of youth before he immediately decided to proceed by, during one of his extremely long, albeit few breaks, taking the members of his family on an interesting excursion to the nearby amusement park for occassional thrills. On the initial journey there, the black man, out of haste, accidentally dropped one of his children's most valuable toys of which elicited undeniably obnoxious bouts of sadness to come bursting out of his children's respective chests and an increased rate-of-travel for his wife of who accopanied him on his adventure and desired to assist him in his panic. In the spin of events, the man experienced an instance of hyper-activedness and spun out of control for a minute before eventually cooling down. Hence the screaming.

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Knock Knock Who's There Trick or Treat!!!

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How many cows can you fit in a field? It depends on how big your field is.

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A blond and a brunette fall off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? Neither. They hit the ground at the exact same time due to the laws of physics

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What's the difference between a duck? One leg is both the same

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What's creepy about a loving couple having sex? I made them do it.

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What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? Dead.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks what he'd like. The man says something funny, but you kinda had to be there.

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how many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? well it depends on the size of the bathtub - and the size of the babies, for sure.

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When life gives you lemons, you go to a therapist and seek help because your dementia has progressed to the point that you are seeing and feeling illusions.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his cow? Where's my wife?

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Google Doodles

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Whats worse then being raped? Nothing it will ruin your life.

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What do you call an African-American picking cotton and harvesting wheat. A farmer.

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A man walks into a bar, he is then escorted to the hospital as a result of brain trauma.

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What happened to the black man when he was hit by a truck? He died.

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Hey! Do you like fishsticks? Me too :)

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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