This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

ghjwASFDJHKJZFKLJFHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHA GGGG DG FUC K DISLIKE ME!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why doesn't Superman eat peanuts? He doesn't like them

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you say to somebody that wont shut up Shut up!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

just imagine like a whole mark no imagine like 1000 marks an army of marks ready to conquer

thumb_up thumb_down -26

how do goldfishes drown? you pull them backward water fills there lung and there die

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What happens when you mix bath salts, marijiuana, and crack cocaine and proceed to inject it into your body in some manner? You have one of the biggest trips of your life in which it will ware off and you will proceed with your life

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what did the blind man see? Nothing he felt the penis in his butt.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the horse stop runnIng? His master beat him to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's wet and pink? Bubblegum!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? It tried to to commit suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the girl fall of the swing? Because she was shot in the face by a lone gunman.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What happens when a monkey eats banana. It throws them up and gets some blueberry pie.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why didn't Susan go to school on show-and-tell day? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I love my valentine <3 Hes mine no matter what anyone says <3 Cause i love him with all my heart <3

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you stop a lumberjack? You thrust a javelin through his lungs

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: What happened to the blonde who tried to commit suicide? A: She died.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A Mexican walks into Taco Bell, because it is the only restaurant within walking distance of his workplace.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What was the pirate movie rated? It was rated R for its graphic depiction of the continuing violence in Somalia.

thumb_up thumb_down -142

What's got four legs but can't move by itself? A chair.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? Well, a test is a well thought-out series of questions, usually used in schools to determine a students final grade.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

q: Why does my grandpa climbs a phone pole with a bag of bananas? a: He likes to climb and he might get hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops