ROSES ARE RED FRIENDS ARE FRIENDS, NO MUTUAL FRIEND, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO ADD ME ON FACEBOOK BITCH!

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A socialist, a Muslim, and an illegal immigrant walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for you Mr.President

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So, would you like provolone or mozzarella with that? Yes.

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your mom.

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A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

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person 1-As me if I'm purple... person 2- Are you purple? person 1- no

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A man spots Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles. He proceeds to tell his friends the story, who in turn believe him, as the story is plausible.

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what is long,hard and holds semen,a submarine , i spelled seamen wrong

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How do you steal from a sushi buffet? You say please.

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What's worse than people repeating a joke about a handicapped child and voting down original, funny, anti-material? Knowing that millions of cubic decimetres of precious air and thousands of tonnes of food are being wasted every day to sustain them...

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What do you call a gay African American Jewish German flight attendant who is addicted to many hard drugs? His name.

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why did the man leave his house during a state of emergency? he didnt

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What did the homeless man say to his friends? He doesn't have any friends.

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Hi, how are you doing? Good how about yourself? Fine, thanks. Nice weather we're having Yeah, not too bad Have a nice day You too

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What was sandusky's role at penn state turned tight ends into wide receivers

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How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer? Ask her.

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Girls

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My favorite color is Ham. And I can count to Potato.

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-Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? -She had no arms. -Knock, knock. Who's there? -Not Sally.

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Why do jewish women like to get their sons circumcised? They like anything 25% off.

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Why do blondes like cheez whiz? Because it tastes good

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69

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What's worse than the Holocaust? ........finding a worm in your apple.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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