How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Where do you find a dog with no legs ? Same place you left it ...

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whats green at the bottom of a hole and covered in cookie crumbs a girl scout run over by a truck

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you just contradicted yourself.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

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A sad guy walks in to a bar and the bartender asks, what's the matter? The guy responds, I just found out i'm deaf

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Do you know why I am excited? I don't know I'm asking you.

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A man walks into a Kentucky Fried Chicken I don't see anything funny about this at all. -Tag

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What kind of a prediction is THAT?

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Woman: If you were my husband, I've give you poisoned wine. Winston Churchill: Madame, if you were my wife, I would hope we could have enough love to attempt marriage counseling so as to work out these issues.

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Tim and Jim are Telling Jokes Tim: Knock Knock ... Jim does not respond because Tim has a mental disorder causing him to believe in hypothetical doors and thus ignores him so that he does not upset his friend

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Why is Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven was a creepy movie, and it gave Six nightmares.

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A guy punched himself. He then said ouch.

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A tiger walks into a bar, the patrons ran out terrified.

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Whats the difference between the Pope and acne Acne doesn't get onto a kids face until they're 13

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How do you have sex with 9 giraffes? you don't because that's weird

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All the other kids with the pumped up kicks died in a school shooting.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels

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Q: What happened when the Mexican went to the doctors? A: He was diagnosed with depression.

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ur dug has tits <3 from Alec Bamford xxxxxxxx<3<3<3xxxxxx QAHS 4life

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What did 6 say to 7? Nothing, numbers are abstract concepts thought up by humans and therefore, they cannot speak or converse in any sort of language.

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What did the amputee get for chritmas? A bicycle

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Colin Fry backwards is yrF niloC

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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