What did the farmer say to the duck? I don't know, but the duck doesn't give a f.....

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What do u call a black polar bear? A black bear

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So a guy goes to his doctor because he thinks he has an STD. He asks the doctor "how bad is it doc?" to which the doctor replies "Well, I got the test results and it doesn't look good. You've got chlamydia, gonorrhea, and onomatopoeia. The guy asks "What's onomatopoeia?" The doctor replies "It's exactly what it sounds like"

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter, he won't come.

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John had 32 candy bars. He ate 28 of them. What does John have now? daibetes, john has diabetes.

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Whats worse than one pregnancy scare... two pregnancy scares...whats worse than two pregnancy scares? being forced to having consensual sex with a grizzly bear.

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The geese of Growmore

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How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

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Listen I know you're a cat and I'm a cat but I know we can be friends

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there once was a man, he was old, and he had one wish...do you wanna know that wish? Well i don't know it because he died two seconds ago from a heart attack. Oh Well...

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead?" "No. Becaus it was stapled to the squirrel.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where did my tractor go.

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A man walks into kindergarden class with a beer. He then gets arrested.

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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Someone said you sound like an owl Who?

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how do you have a great time in a college town you don't

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I went to the opticians to get my eyes checked. The optician said "you need glasses".

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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I like my woman like I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer.

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My Japanese girlfriend just broke up with me. It's okay, there's more of them in the sea.

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How did Billy tip the cow? He didn't, cows are animals and that would be wrong.

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Q.Want to hear somthing that will never happen A. Sure A. the Houston Astros won a game.

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A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot had a stroke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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