How many babies can you fit in a blender? Depends how hard you push.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why is the turkey always full? Because he is stuffed.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you tell if your sister is on her period? Cause your dads dick tastes funny...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock knock. Is someone there?

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Roses are red, violets are blue, the little midget is coming for you. If you don't run and if you don't hide, you will probably be stepped on because of my incredible big size.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They discuss politics and time travel.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

What do you call bad anti-jokes? Suckish comedy What do you call suckish comedy? Bad anti-jokes

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are blurry so is everything else I need glasses

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did Susie fall off the swing?? ShE had no arms. Knock knock... Whose there? Not Susie

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Baking a cake can be very hard and stressful, just like beating a slut with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Blonde: I'm sad. Brunette: Why? Blonde: I walked into a bar just to see my boyfriend having a drink with another woman, Brunette: I'm so sorry,

thumb_up thumb_down +21

If you are American when you walk into a bathroom and American when you walk back out, what are you when you are inside the bathroom? You're probably dispelling waste products from your body.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What the difference between an apple and a pear One of them is red

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the car? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's brown and smells like shit? An oddly shaped birthmark on a dirty homeless man

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One you can smash with a hammer and the other is just a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you tell if a kitten is alive? Throw it at the wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

a man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is slowly destroying his family

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's funnier than a chicken? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats black and can multitask? My IPod you racist!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What happened when Suzy fell off the swing? She hurt herself.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Keep talking shit bitch, and I'll come for you!

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the man have an erection? He had just masturbated.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops