Q.How do you get a dog to meow ? A. Put the dog in the freezer overnight . . Get a chainsaw and run it along his back in the morning . " Meowrrrr..."

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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What do you call a black man with a hoe? A farmer.

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks then comes home to his whole family murderd and mutilated

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Beating cancer. Guess Steve Jobs they didn't make an app for that.

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What is Mary short for? She has no legs.

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A man wearing dark sunglasses walks into a convenience store with a dog on a leash. He goes to the middle of the store, and he starts swinging the dog around over his head by the leash. The store clerk comes over and asks, "what are you doing?" The man replies, "Ajiohskdcojqpowuskncvlkzb" Not knowing what else to do, the clerk calls 911. It turns out the man's name is Ruprict, and he has escaped from the local mental institution. A police officer shortly arrives to bring Ruprict back to the hospital.

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Knock, knock Who's there? I'm there.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Q. how many Americans does it take to screw in a light-bulb? A. usually it only takes one, but if the ladders is unsteady he might need one or two friends to help hold the ladder

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Your Mama is so fat, when she jumped on the couch, she broke the couch.

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<3 ... it looks more like scissors than a heart...

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There once was a girl with only one buttcheek. She couldn't go poop. She died.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The Police The Police who? We're sorry Ma'am your son has died in a car accident... --------- Knock Knock! Who's there? Not your son

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? ...Neither have they.

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What do humans and fish both have in common? They both live underwater, apart from humans.

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this going to be my new text thingy! i dont have a phone! WATS UP!

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Why did the man burp? Because gases escaped from his stomach and came out of his mouth.

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Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

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Why did the soviet plane crash? It was joseph Stallin

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Q: How do you call a group of animals? A: Llama.

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Three construction workers are sitting on a beam high in the air, getting ready to eat their lunch. "Hey!" someone shouts. "Get down from there! That's a safety violation!" So they do, and instead they eat their lunch on the ground.

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This is the same thing you told me once, believe me, it helps holding into it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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