*puts thumbs up on own anti-joke. Nobody needs to know....

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

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Two fish are in a tank. The first one says, "How the heck do I drive this thing!".

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Two muffins are in an oven. They procede to bake at 325 degrees for thirty minutes.

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Yo momma is so fat that we are incredibly concerned for her health.

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What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

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A guy has spikey things in his butt, what happened?............... He fell on a cactus.

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Yo' mama's so fat, she has difficulty finding clothes that fit

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Why did the man have 3 girlfriends? A: because he is a womanizer

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How do you finish your homework? Get your dog to eat it.

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A man walked into a bar 2 hours later he died from drinking and driving

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 murdered 4 and 5 then raped 10

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Whats the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? You can't unload one with a pitchfork

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If a quiz is quizzical, what's a testicle?

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what did the blind santa say to the jewish child jewish people don't believe in santa...awkward.

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Yo momma's so fat, her lifespan is probably going to be very short and you will have to bury her soon.

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Arron Glass

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A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears, realizing that his life as he knew it is over, and recognizing the horrible burden he is about to become on his family, both financially and emotionally.

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What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

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Why was the strict Asian father angry when his son got an A- on his test? He found out that his son had been cheating.

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Cacti are green Clouds are white Spoons are silver Corn is yellow Carrots are orange Asphalt is black Grapes are purple Cinnamon is brown Lets's have sex

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Why did Tiarnan not ride is bike to school today. Tiarnan's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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