Life is like a box of chocolates, It doesn't last too long for fat people.

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Q: How do you confuse more than 80% of the population? A: Mushrooms.

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Roses are white Violets are black I'm colorblind That is sad

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What's long, hard, and filled with semen? A submarine

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Hey guys I'm more of a Nets fan.

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What is shaped like a duck without a beak? A duck that I punch the beak off of.

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Why did the black man laugh at my joke? k.

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What's worse than finding a holocost in your apple. A truck full of dead babies then what's worse than finding a truck full of dead babies in your apple. Braving to pich fork them out

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*Look Down* Nice shoes, wanna F@#k?

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Cuz she had no arms! B I T C H

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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Q: How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Juan

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Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

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Two muffins are in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second muffin and says "OH MY GOD I CAN TALK!" the second muffin is so shaken in its beliefe system by a talking muffin that it commits suicide.

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There is more than one way to skin a cat. I used a potato skin peeler.

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Q: What do African Americans and Doorknobs have in common? A: Before the Emancipation Proclamation was passed, neither was free. Doorknobs still aren't free.

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How did Hitler fit 100 Jews in his car? Ashes don't take up much space.

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John: Spell IT Mike: Q-U-A-D-R-A-M-E-C-H-A-N-I-C-S

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Why was Hellen Keller afraid to answer the phone? This situation is impossible because Hellen suffered from scarlet fever, therefore she could not see or hear the phone.

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Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

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Q. What do you call a deceased rodent A. Deadmau5

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What did your mom get for christmas ? A stairstepper.

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Why was the monkey sad? Because somebody stole his banana. Why was the monkey happy? Because your parents are dead.

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Intercom:ALERT! THERES AND EXTREIMEST IS THE SCHOOL! Little kid: Sir, can I borrow that towel on your head? BOOOOOOM!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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