What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

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What do an eagle and a mole have in common? They both fly, except for the mole.

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Excuses are like assholes: Gay men like to have sex with them.

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Knock Knock Opens door because they were expecting visitors

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

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whats the difference between an orange and a bicycle? One has handlebars..the other one doesnt.

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

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Why was the black person assassinated behind a drug dealers house? He was purposely shot in the leg and bled out before he could make it to help.

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why did the man beat his wife? why not?

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How do you make a suicide jumper not jump? Shoot him instead.

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There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

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Why did the black man repeatedly punch the white man? The two men were boxers. They were fighting in a charity boxing match. Revenue generated by the event went towards cancer research.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck.

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Chuck Norris is so strong that he could bench almost 250 pounds in his heyday.

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roses are red violets are blue i'm allergic to pollen achoo

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A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share private information with a stranger.

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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A Black man is running down the street with a T.V. He just bought it with the money he is getting from his recent promotion to partner at a local Law firm. He is running because he had to park far away and wanted to get out of the rain.

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How do you get four gay guys to sit on one barstool? It's quite difficult, it would be easier to just get 3 more barstools.

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Do you want to come with me? NO! oh i wanted to cum on your face. Thats god damn gay Nope thats god damn sexy.

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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Q: What did one poor guy say to the other poor guy? A: We're both black

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Roses are green Violets are yellow I have an optical disorder

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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