How do you silence Justin Bieber? Hold his head under water until he stops struggling.

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How many Babies can be drowned in a toliet at once? idk the bathtub is much more convienient

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A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

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hey

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Okay, an ambulance is arriving for me (cops called it whatever I am fine) If you are still reading this then get the fuck out before I fire you no more messages.

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What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

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Two blonds walk into a bar, the brunette ducked

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Hi.

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THER ONCE WAS A jueny WITH A TEN FOOT WENNY AND HE WENT TO SHOW IT TO THE LADY NEXT DOOR SHE THOUGHT IT WAS A SNKE SO SHE HIT IT WITH A RAKE AND NOW ITS ONLY FIVE FOOT FOUR!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, my dick is hard, and it's cumming for you.

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One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

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Siblings are like sharks, they usually stop biting you when you stab them in the eyes

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Why did johnny fall down? He got hit in the head with a brick

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How Long Is A Chinaman's Name

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What did the penguin say to the peacock? Die, you homosexual!

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What's green and looks like a red truck? A green truck.

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Yo momma so poor, she can't afford to live in a two story Cheerio box

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What's the difference between a black guy and an asian. They come from different race groups.

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What happened to the black man when he was eating a Tootsie Roll? He ate the entire thing but was still hungry due to the empty calories.

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Q: What did bulbasoar say to charmander? A: Bet ya thought I was gunna say Bulbasoar!!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one does, too.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and i am too

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What did the working mother get her son for Christmas? Empty promises.

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Why did the woman call 911? Fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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