Why do witches ride on brooms? Because they have magical powers!

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what is my catphrase nothing I am too good to have one

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How do you stop a bus? Press the brakes

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Why did the man not open his door to the trick or treaters? He was a sex offender and it was illegal for him to open it...

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Someone asked me "What rhymes with Orange?" I replied "Door hinge." He punched me.

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What has eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs face.

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Ever see a man say goodbye to a shoe? Yes, once.

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What is Mario's favorite food? I don't know. You should ask him.

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Knock-Knock who's there? Artichoke Artichoke who? Your friend Artie choked on a ham sandwich, and I'm sorry to inform you that he didn't survive.

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What do you call a blonde on the Moon? That depends on what her name is.

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How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

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I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? Go bird hunting.

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whats stupid and gay all of my friends

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old spice body spay is so powerfull it can block BO for 16 hours. its so powerfull it can turn of the sun, but then it gets to cold, so it makes another sun........DOUBLE SUN POWWWWWEEEERRRRRRR!!!

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If a vegetarian only eats vegetables, then what does a humanitarian eat?

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Good to know tattletale, I remember hating you back then when you betrayed me, but I cant wait to meet you again. Anyway Nero, I am a girl, its not about sex with me, I just had to tell you, and hope you will take better care of yourself, I know you used to be worried about your looks, and I just want you to understand ill be there for you no matter what. Thanks for the kind words Nero, I know you mean them, you never hid the fact that you found me attractive, but while I did not understand then why you would ruin every nice moment by saying something cheesy or rude, I think I get it now... I know you need rest, but can I arrive as soon as possible? Ill just wait outside or something, I wont be a bother I promise.

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What's worse than a monkey attack. Nothing monkey attacks absolutely blow.

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What do you can a Brazilian woman wearing a bikini? It depends on the case, but usually Brazilian women are named "Maria", "Ana", "Júlia" and many others kinds of names, with their root being hispanic, portguese and latin lenguages. Respectively, the names quoted have the English translation being "Mary", for Maria, "Anne", for Ana, and July, for Júlia.

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What is a black, yellow like liquid that contains carbon dioxide, usually kept in a can, and is not coke? Pepsi.

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Why was the chicken sad Thanksgiving

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I am an orphan I have no parents

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What do you do when you say shut up to someone and they say make me? Rip out their vocal cords.

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A jew, a black man, an Irishman, a Scotsman, an Englishman, an American, and a muslim walk into a bar. They discuss their racial, political and religious opinions and walk away after a pleasant evening.

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Math Problem: John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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