How do you kill one Jew. A gun. How do you kill a thousand Jews. With a millon angery germans.

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Bob: Hey Jim, what's up? Jim: Obviously the sky, oh and i see a few planes too. by the way why are you asking me why don't you just look up?

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Man: Doctor, everything I touch hurts. Doctor: Okay. Let's test it out by first touching your leg. Man: It hurts. Doctor: What about your arm? Man: It hurts as much. Doctor: What about your back? Man: It still hurts. Doctor: I see......your fingers are broken.

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What do u call a dumb Asian. An american

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Poop...

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Why was the cat unable to drink its milk? He was stapled to the wall

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3 Men walk into a bar, they all order up a drink. And then they paid their tabs and left.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead. Q: Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the first one. Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A: Peer pressure.

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Q: what did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: We're both lawyers!

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25

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whats worse than finding a joke in a cracker? finding an anti joke in a cracker.

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Gladly, you sound very confident, makes me happy. Well, doctors thought I had ADHD (go figure) but I am pretty calm outside the internet, then they went with ADD, but since my attention is twofold, this meaning that I can get a lecture, while noticing a toothpick falling on the other side of the room (noticing as in perceiving with focus not necessarily listening but you know, seeing from the corner of ones eye) Yet still focus well enough to get the lecture in details. So its not split focus such as in ADD, but dual, as in me being able to think about two things at once, but also burning out extremely fast, which again, is far from ADD.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What did the badger say to the mushroom? BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER MUSHROOM MUSHROOM! BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER ARGH SNAKE! IT'S A SNAKE...

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Why are all black people fast? They aren't. Some of them are slow.

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In other news, a Florida man was arrested today for stealing candy...with a knife.

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On a tusday night, three guys walk into a bar After realising they have to work they proceed to exit

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Roses are nice, violets are fine, ill be the 6, if you be the 9!

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What did the blind, def , dumb kid get for Christmas? Cancer

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How do you get a blond out of tree? Shoot her in the head.

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A: What do you call a deer with no eyes? A: I got NoEyeDeer!!!

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A chicken rode into town on a horse named Friday. He was later shot by a dyslexic Russian dinosaur.

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What does Santa Claus keep in his gardening shed? Nothing. Santa Claus isn't real.

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What do you say to a woman in the kitchen? Cook me some food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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