Whats green has four legs and would kill you if it fell from a tree. Pool Table.....

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-Is your refrigerator running? -Yes. -Just wondering.

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What happened to Grant when he did a cart wheel? Chuck had sex with Victoria

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Is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting AIDS.

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How many midgets can you fit into a telephone booth? Well, it really depends on a lot of factors. The size and design of the phone booth itself is pretty important. Also, midgets really have a wide range of sizes, but we could do some analysis and find out the average at least. Based on that we could have an estimate done soon.

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What do you call a black man and woman with a little white girl? A Family.

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Name a country that begins with the letter U A. True B. False C. All of the above D. None of the above

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What did the african american ninja say to the jewish bartender? Can I have a beer?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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What do you call a cow after an earthquake? Dead. The barn collapsed on top of it.

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What did the electron do after losing his proton? Trough electromagnetical forces, the electron simply left it's atom, making it become a positive ion. Then, atracted by other atom's magnetical force, it joins the other atom's last vallence shell, creating a negative ion, since there are more electrons then protons in the atom in issue.

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Whats worse than scraping your elbow and knee? Beheading and disembowlment.

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All of these jokes suck. Just saying.

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why couldn't hellen keller drive becasue she was a women

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? To honor his father, Jonathan "Red" Hoffner, who was tragically killed in the line of duty. While attempting to save 3 small children in a trailer park fire, the elder firefighter suffered 3rd degree burns over 80 percent of his body. "Red" was rushed to a local hospital and lingered for several agonizing days. He began to rally but a careless error by a night nurse led to his unfortunate demise. His son was psychologically unable to wear anything but red suspenders every day for the rest of his life - not only because of his father's death but also because it was he who had maliciously set the fire in the first place.

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How did the cat die of indigestion? Indigestion

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LET

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Q: What do you do when you see a half dead black guy on your front lawn? A: Call the ambulance because he is dying

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There are two people in this world; people who finish their sentences and people who

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How did the man lose his arm? beacuse of the five year old with a knife obsesion standing right beind you at this minute...

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why did the onion fall out of the bag? ...there was a hole in the bag so the onion fell out

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What is the difference between my pet goldfish and an african village? My pet goldfish has water.

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What do a large mouth bass and my wife have in common? They are both in the Animal kingdom, both are vertebrates and they share many other traits such as eyes, a notochord, and epaxial/hypaxial musculature.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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