Why did the black guy smell fried chicken? He had a brain tumour

Roses are red Violets are blue You just lost the game UMAD Bro?

Your mom is so fat that she actually had a pretty hard time finding a husband.

So last night I was f**king my girlfriend and I flip her over and f**k her up the ass. Later we're sitting having a cigarette when she says, "you know it was pretty presumptuous of you to think you can just flip me over and f**k me up the ass." And I said, "presumptuous!? That's a pretty big word for a 5th grader."

What did the black guy say to you when you took his fried chicken Give me back my chicken

A man comes into a bar. Wait, it's a horse. A man comes into a horse.

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Tie her up and force her to watch as you brutally murder her entire family.

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have some pints then leave to do their respective tasks for the day.

what makes reed stop talking? LYRENS SHARPENED PENCIL

What's the difference between humans and dogs? 4.

What's funny about a black person, a Jew, and a mexican's graves being side by side? Nothing.

What do you call two babys with one head? I dont know either, answers on postcard please!

How do you make a baby fit in a bottle? Blender.

What do gay horses eat? A combination of straw and legumes, much like heterosexual horses do.

What do you do with dead chemists? You carefully place their remnants in a casket, which is to be placed in a precisely dug hole. Once the casket is placed, you put a gravestone into the ground, signifying the chemists' date of birth and death.

How did the Mexican get into the U.S.A.? He came in legally, and got his green card. He then continued his life as a business man and won the lottery four years later for 5 million dollars. He then bought a cool television, he also had children and put the money in their college funds later.

Boy: "But I don't wanna visit Grandma!" Mother: "Shut up and keep digging."

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

How to you kill a pizza guy? Shoot him in the face.

what did the apple say to the orange ? nothing, apples are a fruit and do not have any organs which allow it to be able to talk.

This is you cat This is just cat This is wasted cat This is your cat This is time cat This is reading cat This is this cat Now read the third word of every sentance

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

What did the black man do when he saw a bike sitting on the sidewalk? He took it into the shop paid for it and rode off feeling good about how hes helping the environment.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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