Society wants to be so prude and pure that on AntiJoke, you actually get words like P U S S Y and P E N I S censored !

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Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Grandma's dead. call the paramedics.

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nobody move, or i'll kill myself, then her!

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Spongebob: Patrick! Can you hear me? Patrick: No, it's too dark.

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What would you call Martin Luther King Jr. If he was alive today? Alive

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nathan your cats dead now...well hopefully

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A brunette child with a blond mother is crying. Why? Because his father was just mauled by a Scandinavian dragon.

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What do you call a car that doesn't work? Broken.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swings? She had no arms... Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs... Why didn't anyone help her up? She had no friends... Why did she die? She landed in a puddle...

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Why does Rupert the Bear wear chequered trousers? Because that's how the creator originally drew him.

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Knock, knock. Who's There? The Fire Department...

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What would Steve Jobs be doing if he were alive today? Dying.

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why does jake have so many guns? hes compensating

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Why was the black man crying? His wife left him, took his children, and most of his possessions in the divorce.

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What do you call a bunch of balck men running down a hill. A bunch of balck men running down a hill.

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Three nuns were talking in the church. The first nun said, "I was looking in the Priest's desk and found a condom." The second nun said, "I saw also saw that condom, except I poked holes in it." The third nun promptly reported them to the Priest causing the first two nuns to lose thier jobs.

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Kim Kardashian got a job.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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roses are red violets are blue chickens are white and yellow trees are green and brown my yellow shirt is purple oh shit my dog died

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What do you do when a blonde falls up an elevator? Pray, and hope Jesus will take you as well. Just kidding, Jesus isn't real.

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says "It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave"

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Eating the worm

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What's the difference between a soldier and a black man? A black man lives a normal life, probably working a full time job to bring income to his family. A soldier has seen his friends killed right before his very eyes, has probably killed, and most likely has night terrors accompanied by the sounds of gunshots and grenades. He will suffer trauma up until he dies of a heart attack in his mid 80's after experiencing a terrifying flashback of life in the war.

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Knock Knock Who's there? John John who? John Williams.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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