A black man in a hooded sweatshirt is sprinting down a back alley. He is trying to get into better shape by exercising and knows a shortcut to his house.

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What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

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What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker Face

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Q: How do you get 1000 babies into a bucket? A: A blender. Q: How do you get them out? A: Tortilla chips.

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Your momma's so dumb she graduated high school with a C average.

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Wenis Penis

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How long was the awkward silence it took to make Justin Bieber? Really long.

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When geese fly, they often fly in a V-formation. Why is one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

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Do you believe in Santa? Cuz i don't. Kookaburra

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What's black and white and red all over? A piece of discarded newspaper previously covering the half dismembered torso of a dead prostitute.

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What happened when the man crossed the road? He lived happily ever after because he looked both ways for traffic.

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Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium BATMAN! Oh cemetery jokes

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why did the child go to hospital with 52 broken bones,lung and kidney failure,heart disease and cut off penis. because his mum threw a fridge at mikeanator_27

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Why did the arm-less Ben fall off the swing? Gravity

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everyone dislike this

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

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Knock knock Who's there? Tom Tom who? Tom Rodgers I don't know you Tom decides to leave the house because the person in the house does not recognize him

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A man walked into a blind child's house and made him see again. He stepped outside, walked into traffic, and died as he was not used to the light.

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Why is Billy in a ditch? He stepped on a landmine and was promptly burst into many pieces. The ditch was coincidental.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? It is a science fiction show about a time traveller

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I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walked into a prison. A gang stopped them, and said: Hey, want to play a game? Before they could run away, the gang leader told them the rules. You go over there and stand by the wall. You close your eyes, and then we fire a shotgun in your direction. The last one alive wins. They push the brunette onto the wall. She closes her eyes because she knows she's about to die and doesn't want her friends to see her crying. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. They decide it's the redhead's turn next. They move her onto the wall. Being the brightest one in the bunch, she tries to keep her eyes open. However, she blinks. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. Then the blonde bursts out laughing. "Your friends are dead. And you're about to die. Do you find that funny?" They ask. She answers. "No. It's just- I won the game!"

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Q:Why was the frog sad A:He was stapeld to a boys face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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