(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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roses are red violets are blue i have a big dick unlike you

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Why do catholic priests enjoy the company of boys? Because they must remain celibate and cannot have children of their own.

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing. Fruits can't talk.

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What has two legs, takes away your money, and causes depression? A Democrat.

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why the woman scream when she arrived at her surprise party? Everyone was dead!

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whats the differnce between a corvette and a pile of dead babies??? i dont have a corvette in my garage.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We've just had sex, Now you have aids too....

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If you see a fat man, what do you say to him? Hopefully nothing mean, seeing as that would be demoralizing to the fat man.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It heard you like to choke the chicken.

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Mcfly: Doc! i have to tell you about the future! Doc: Ok.

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I was having sex with thisgirl and now I'm going to be a dad. All because I didn't wear a condom

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Why did the dog stop barking. It was given a good reason to.

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whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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if someone chucks skittles at u and says "taste the rainbow!!!!" chuck m&ms at them and say "Im not afraid!!!!!"

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Wanna here a joke? Canadians.

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What is the best type of pepper? Well, some people say that the yellow pepper is the sweetest and most delicious, although others prefer red, green or orange peppers.

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One sux, the other is decent. But supporting the sucky one shows u are dedicated.

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After a long day on the movie set, Lindsay Lohan decides to go out to a bar. She gets really drunk and high on drugs and some guy takes her back to her trailer and stuffs her muffin.

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What did Zeus say to Hades? Nothing. Both are mythological beings created by the Greek civilization to explain why many things in the world happened, mostly because of a lack of modern science.

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Why lets go Mets? Lets go Yankees!

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DON’T HIT KIDS!!! NO, SERIOUSLY, THEY HAVE GUNS NOW. Via: Pingzic collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

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What happend to the man who walked into a forrest? He got raped by a giant vicious mutant spider

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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