How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Pick it up and suck its dick.

What do a blonde and a good beer have in common? They both go down easy.

Where did the cow go? To the slaughter house!!!

why was the cow laying down? because little johnny shot him with a 50 calliber

a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" and the horse says "my wife has terminal cancer.

Your grandma and your mom drove of a cliff, who survived? Both of them they didn't drive off a cliff

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the first monkey? why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure.

What did one pig say to the other pig while sitting in the bathtub? No thanks I already have a typewriter.

What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter what you call him. He won't come.

Stealth baseballs record

Bradley is Sexi;P just kidding!!! fatty

Why did the man with no legs go into the shoe store?

What's clear and wet? water

your birth certificate was an apology letter from the condom factory

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

Knock knock. Who's there? I just ding dong ditched you.

A man with a gun walks into a bar. The police are called and the man was killed quickly.

Your mom goes to college

2 muffins are in the oven. After about 15 minutes, they both died.

Matt swam through watter. Gaby drowned on dry land.

Whats wrong Nero? What happened? Please pick up the phone, I am trying to call you, but it just goes from dialing to changing tunes, please do not be upset with me, what did I do wrong? I thought we had an understanding, please just pick up the phone, if you already have my number and all you got nothing to lose...

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 beat the crap out of 8.

Why did the girl drop her sucker? she was hit by a truck!

Your mother is so old that she is dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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