What is a good remedy for the common cold? A piping hot bowl of chicken-noodle soup.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, ask the chicken.

What's worse than a fly in your soup? Getting killed in a plane crash.

Knock knock. Who's there? Imaj. Imaj who? Haha, you're a Jew.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Polite cow who recognizes normal social cues and civilly waits for its turn to contribute to a conversation. Polite cow who recognizes normal social cues and civilly waits for its turn to contribute to a conversation who? Moo.

Q: whats white and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you A:a fridge

Your mama's teeth are so yellow... She should think about scheduling an appointment at a local dentist's office.

Relax, I said some pretty vile things to you when I thought you where a guy seducing me while it became ever more apparent that you where pretending to be me, thing is I often use this site to vent my frustrations and earning the "praise" in the form of red thumbs by the people. I wont say your name, but I know who you are now, the girl with the big red scared eyes, I mean how many one handed 27 year old`s do I know? I am in my early thirties, that`s all I am willing to share for now, If people come around trying to poke out my remaining eye, I am ready (my waifu, is at her mother`s place, she knows I am still a wanted target by, well some people here and there.

Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

What's mean to black people? The economy. But, I forgot to mention that it's not nice to whites, hispanics, asians or anyone else.

What do you do in a one night stand? Stand all night long.

Why did Sidney drop her ice cream? A refrigerator fell on er

What happened to the kid who couldn't swim? He drowned.

Why are you on anti joke? Because your not funny enough to make your own jokes

whats red, sits in a corner and is slowly getting smaller and smaller baby with a cheese grater whats green and sits motionless in the corner same baby 2 weeks later

what do you call a retarded italian Niko

What is the best way to put out a fire? Stop, drop and have an 0rgy.

A kid falls off a cliff and dies. Who cleans them up? A bear.

"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

What's worse than a rapist? 2 rapists

Roses are red Violets are blue Theres a crazy ass alpaca ready to take a shit on you

Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

why do jewish people have big noses? because air is free

Yo mama so fat , when she went to the doctors office and stepped on the scale they said please, your weight, not your phone number .

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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