Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Knock knok ! Whos there? Buhu ! Buhu Who? Why are you crying?

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Knock knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? NOTHING, because NOTHING rhymes with orange!

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So a Hispanic, African-American, Jewish, and Asian man were walking down the street. They were involved in a parade that celebrated racial equality.

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How do you drown a blonde? Keep her head under water for 2 minutes because thats when the human brain starts to loose oxygen.

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Flab

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How do you make a twelve year old girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear.

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What come after 69? Time for you to get a watch

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Pizza guy. Just a minute, I have to grab my wallet.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

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Roses are red, violets are blue; So give me head, or I queue you!

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How many dead babies can you fit in a tire? It depends on the size of the tire.

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i like boobs haha ha hahaha

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jamie looks at jacob for arousment. jacob looks at his dog.........

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why did the frog cry? Because he didn't get a message

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So this guy walks into the doctor's and says "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this." The doctor says "Yes, you've shattered both your kneecaps. You'll never walk again."

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How did the asian woman's car get totaled She was hit by a drunk driver

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why was the man at the tuna fish factory mad? because he was going through intense emotional trauma happening in his life because of problems with his wife and child.

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Know what's funny? Jokes.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness. Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.

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whats the difference between a ladybug and a jew? there is none

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse replies "My wife is dying of terminal cancer."

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well, one must question: 1. How much the electrician knows when it comes to screwing in lightbulbs. 2. The amount of electricians present at the scene. 3. The type of equipment being used in the process. 4. The physical and mental stability of the electrician. The situation is solely dependent on the above factors.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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