An African-American is like a hammer. It can't be trusted in the hands of women.

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How do you get a clown of a swing set U hit it with an ax 2.5 times

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Why did the little girl only walk half way across the street She fell into a man hole and died

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Two gay guys go into a bedroom, in different houses at different times.

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What did the Muslim have under his hood of his car? A V-8 engine.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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Why did the family go to Mexico? Because they were deported

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A BABY seal walks into a club

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a porch? Bob

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What happened when a fish rode a bike? It fell off and injured itself.

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A man used a ruler to measure his foot, it was size 11

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- Why Justin Bieber can't login to Facebook? - Because he forgot the password.

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Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

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Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Barak Obama find a magical lamp. The Genie says, "I will give each of you one wish, and one wish only.." They all wished to be presidents.

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What has 14 eyes, 14 legs, 70 toes and 7 noses... 7 people.

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A man walked into a bar and said, oppa gangnam style That man is now dead

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A coach walks into the team dressing room at halftime; his team is down 42-0. He screams at the players, "You guys are playing like a bunch of grannies. No offense"

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Caller:Hello, is this Smellma Pitts Answer: Why yes

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Pull my finger ouch..

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Why was six afraid of seven? Well, seven has a huge drinking problem. He killed a man in a bar fight once. He is also very intense about his boxing career. He works out so hard that he is huge. He has enormous anger problems as well. Seven isn't the only one with problem though. Six is a Vietnam veteran and has been easily scared ever since he came home. The psychiatrist says he has a bad case of paranoia. Just something about seven reminds six of the soldiers that killed his friends. Also seven ate nine, and cannibals are SCARY!

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A seal walks into a club.

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Hello penis

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What's Kanye West's main goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Chet. Chet who? I probably shouldn't be giving you my name, just get in the fucking van...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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