Why are we posting shit jokes on here? Because we can't drink!

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Your Mom is so fat.... When she's goes to McDonald's and orders 3 Big Macs the people standing in line behind her all look at her with disgust and a tinge of pity.

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Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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Why did the fat guy survive the plain crash He didn't he died like everyone else

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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whats funnier than womens rights? ottos weight

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A baby walks into a bar, not long before it leaves out of the bar.

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Why can't sluts count to 70? Well, slut is a derogative term for prostitutes, and most prostitutes are people that had rough, often traumatising childhoods. Many ran away from home at an early age, thus leaving them devoid of a proper education.

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What do you call a feminist that believes that all women have just as many rights as men? Stupid.

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What did the kid say before he died Nothing he was terminally ill

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How do you know when a bag of chips is stale? It is past the expiration date.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he saw his ex-girlfriend walking down the street so he was trying to kill her by hitting her in the head with the clock.

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What's the only animal that has to be oiled? any animal I can think of

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Little girl and a pedofile walk into the woods at night. Little girl says, "mr pedofile im scared" pedofile responds " you think your scared? i have to walk out of here alone."

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These are some questions you should never ask on a first date: When you wipe do you throw your toilet tissue in the toilet or on a trash can? Do you smell your hands after you wipe? Do you you ever look down when you take a dump and see it come out? Have you ever picked your butt and then picked your nose with the same finger?

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how do you make the president cry ?? shoot his family !!

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Whats the difference between a nigro and a nigro... They are both BLACK!

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Your mother is so fat, she is at great risk for developing diabetes mellitus type 2.

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A blonde takes a test. She scores higher than her Asian friend.

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roses are red and have big balls woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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Your mother's breasts sag so low that the late great impressionist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

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I just painted my nails. I have braces.

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Huh? Whats wrong? Why are you mad at me for? Its my name, it has always been so.

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your mom is so fat jesus couldnt even lift her spirits

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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