A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch"

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Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear Fuzzy wuzzy had no hair Fuzzy wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy, was he? No, because he had cancer.

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Why was the man white? Because he wasn't black. All credit goes to Caravel.

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Why did the girl say 'baa'? Because she was a lamb.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all began in 1807 when a 7 foot rooster gave birth to a chicken on the sidewalk while purchasing ice cream. Scientists have been intrigued so they went into study with it and won the Nobel prize. This somehow persuaded them to lure the chicken over to the other side by using a lollipop. They threw the lollipop as the chicken crossed the road, hit it in the eye, the chicken spazzed out, jumped in front of a car, teleported to London, and is now a gynecologist.

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once you go Persian, there is no other alternative

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Why did the dad buy his son some ice cream? He didnt, his dad is dead

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What do you call a man with no arms? A cripple.

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What is a black guys favourite thing to eat? Food.

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What did the Jewish girl do when I asked for her number? Roll up her sleeve...

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what does the sloth say to Jonah reincastle? nothing Jonah is the sloth

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what has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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Guess what? That is actually a ridiculously broad question, and I can be referring to anything. You really have no chance in guessing "what" is. As a matter of fact, I can just be thinking about a thought of something else, which is not even a concrete thing. Therefore, you really have no chance of guessing what "what" actually is. So I win. You lose.

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What do you call a woman who is good at driving? Danica Patrick

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A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park.

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Why did the smoker die at a petrol station? He had lung cancer.

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So a cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. The bartender, realizing that cats cannot talk nor do they posses higher brain functions, realizes he must be dreaming.

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A muslim gets on an airplane and takes his seat. The plane lands safely and he enjoys his vacation in Florida.

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What happens when you push an asian in a hole? He falls in

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A horse walks into a bar You have been reading so many anti jokes that you can actually anticipate the anti-joke punchline to this joke, because it is one of maybe 3 or 4.

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What do lawyers and sharks have in common? They both play vital roles in their own society or ecosystem.

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Q. Why did the little girl drop her ice cream? A. She dropped it as she got into the van

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops