Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody is here, nobody would ever want to knock on the door of you. Yes, you. You reading these awful jokes.

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Q: What drug did the addict do at the Grand Canyon? A: None; after years of battling substance abuse, he came to realize the social, financial, and health consequences had significantly degraded his quality of life, and was appalled by his bad decisions.

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Three women are on an airplane. One's a blonde, one's a redhead, and one's a brunette. Unfortunately, the plane was going to crash and there was nothing they could do but jump out and parachute to safety. So the captain said to each of the three ladies, "You can only take one of your possessions when you parachute out of the plane." The blonde says "I will take my watch becau--" But before she could finish her sentence the plane exploded because the flames on the wing had ignited the fuel tank. No one survived.

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why do cats hate dogs the Holocaust

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Knock knock. Nobody answers because the homeowner was out of the house at the time.

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What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

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Why did the Jew pick up the penny? Because he dropped it

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a man was walking and saw a snake he was not afraid of snakes so he kept walking

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What's white and can't climb trees? Yogurt

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Roses are red, violets are blue, This is false, Violets are purple.

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A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

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what did Stan say to Dave? nothing, Dave died 500 years before Stan was born, thus he said nothing.

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Why did David go swimming? Pink sock.

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What does a Jew and an oven have in common? Bagels.

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What do Hitler and Jesus have in common? Facial hair.

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How do you get a clown of a swing set U hit it with an ax 2.5 times

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whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a tree? Nailing1 baby to 10 trees

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What's the difference between an orange and a banana? they're spelled differently

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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The WNBA

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Who is the most vile man in Britain? Jerry Carr, the guy who works at the casino.

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Why did the man with no arms or legs fall out of the tree? Because he got shot.

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A man attempts to rob a bank. The police are called and the robber is arrested for attempted robbery.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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