Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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why is king kong so fat? because he eats to mucj

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the Long face" The horse then storms out of the bar, wondering why every bartender must ask him that.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cause it looks like you landed on your face.

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What do you call a fish with no "eyes" Dead

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Yo mama is so fat she has a gym membership and a diet plan to lose weight

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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Two muffins are in the oven. They don't say anything because muffins can't talk. The end.

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The song Friday Rules!

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A witch walks into a bar and orders a drink. She gets her drink and proceeds to have a great time.

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All Bin Laden wanted was peace on earth and good will toward men.

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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Me: How can you tell if somebody's a Nazi? Friend: How? Me: Their killing people in a ghetto. Friend: My friend was shot in a ghetto. Me: So, does that make him a Jew? Friend: No, he was just killed in a big ass oven.

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Whats circular and black? a black circle.

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A little boy walks up to his father and asks his father to explain the birds and bees. The father then proceeds to rape the little boy.

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what did the black guy get for christmas? a car because he really wanted one.

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what do you call a man with a bullet hole in his leg? A man who needs t see a doctor.

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What do you get when you cross a porcupine with party balloons? Unhappy kids

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You- I came up with a new word! Friend- What is it? You- Plagiarism.

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An Asian teenager bought his first gun, and proceeded to go hunting with his father in the wilderness.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you simply have a chicken joke WITHOUT it crossing the road

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What's big, black and hard to swallow? A bowling ball.

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Why did the man die? Because he was unpopular and someone killed him with a gun. He is now dead. RIP.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops