ring ring young man: dad? mom's dead? woman: i think you dialed the wrong number young man: .......oh im sorry, you're absolutely right, silly me! woman: don't worry about it. young man: (chuckles) click

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My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet I probably wouldn't.

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Q: How do you know your gay? A: When you have unexpected desires for men, which is a sin to a religion, so the choice of being gay is against the bible and you would soon be sent to the pit of fire we call hell.

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Q. What's brown and circular? A. MEATBALLS!

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why couldn't the tree grow? Because I cut it down with a chainsaw

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A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "I just found out my wife has cervical cancer."

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A man walks into a bar. He asked the bartender if he accepts $100 bills. The bartender says "no".

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How do you say vampire in spanish? Vampiro.

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw them

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red OMFG MY LAWN IS ON FIRE !!!?

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Dave: Say "game" ten times fast Bud: Game, game, game, game, gay ma, gay ma, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay

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A Jew and a Muslim are sitting in a bar. The Muslim asks the Jew for some money to buy a drink. The Jew said, "how much?" The Muslim said, "$7.00" The Jew then said, "yes."

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What's 2+2? It's certainly not 1.

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she got shot in the heart with a bolt action sniper rifle and died.

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There was a boy named Johnson. He was a happy boy who had a mother and father who loved. One day he didn't do his homework

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Roses are red Violets are fine I'll be the 6 You be the 9

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what brown, red, and green and smells like poop. diareeha

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles

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cake cake and no cake, your life just ended

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Leslie's husband admitted to being gay, which came to the surprise of no one, seeing as Leslie is a man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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