What's blue and looks like water? Yes.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's brown, sticky and crawls up your leg? A homesick poo.

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you know what sucks more than getting raped by a gorilla? getting raped by two gorillas.

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How do you confuse a person from France? By screaming in english at the sky while pionting at him.

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homosexual rights to marriage

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One day a priest walked into a prison to bring lost souls to the Lord.....Not his best idea.

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Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

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What happened the homeless guy's home? A meteor fell on it.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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what did the hungry Ukrainian man say to his mother? "? ????? ???????? ?????????? ? ????. ?? ? ??????? ? ??????"

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not sally.

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Why did Devon move out of his mom's house? His mom beats him.

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why wouldn't the printer print? because it had no ink.

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What did the African want for breakfast? Ebola cereal

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why did the pancake eat a spanish holiday? Because a plane crashed into his condominium

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Why did the woman hate waiting in line? Two reasons really: almost an entire day had passed since her last intake of non-prescription drugs plus she was generally apprehensive that the witness would identify her.

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Immaculate Misconception - Motionless In White \m/

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Somewhere, sometime in the world a man leads his country prominently in an era of change. He makes beautiful and strong speeches to his people. He also kills millions of Jewish people. No seriously, he kills millions of people it's great.

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Sorry Liz, his sodium levels are so bad that while he is drinking a lot, his body is not containing water, and while his pulse and breath is fine he is passing out from time to time, he is asking for stimulants Ritalin specifically, but I am not sure if his body could withstand that, I really don't mind to pry, but does he use Ritalin? I mean he chats a lot, but ADHD? I am just asking out of health concerns, not that I am a doctor, but I just worry... Flirty personality... More like a clown, he says he refuses to eat unless I breastfeed him XD. He is eating now though, solids work, never had a tougher patient, he will make it for sure.

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whats funnier than a dead baby? many things. a dead baby is a very sad and tragic thing.

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What do the pope and an orange have in common? They're both fruits. Except for the pope.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Whats green has four legs and would kill you if it fell from a tree. Pool Table.....

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What's hard and orange on the outside, and squidgy in the middle? A tanned man's head

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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