a kid was running across the street. he just got hit by a truck

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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What do you tell a woman with no black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice but you're not an abusive partner.

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how did sally die? she starved because she cant get in to get the nuggets.

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What happens when a japanese boy goes into a planet called Zypharecion which is 2000 light years away with 20% oxygen and 78% nitrogen and 2% of other earthly air elements and heats up a balloon enough that it explodes? He wont be at that planet because it does not exist and travelling at the speed of light has not been proven possible for humans.

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What do you call an 8 year-old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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black people

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What did the turtle say to the hare? Nothing. Animals can't speak.

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Camon is to Jerry Sandusky as Cole Ryder is to Will Higgins!

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A priest, rabbi, and mormon are arguing about which religion is best. A zookeeper hears and says, "I have a bear who is sleeping right now. How about whoever converts the bear belongs to the best religion?" The priest goes in first, and then walks out a few minutes later, unharmed. The mormon does the same, and he too exits unscathed. The rabbi goes in, and walks out covered in claw marks. "How'd it go?" Said the zookeeper. "Easy." Said the priest. "I just sprinkled some Holy water on him." "I did the same." Said the mormon. The rabbi looked at the zookeeper and said, "have you ever tried to circumcise a bear?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the sidewalk he was on does not.

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a korean man with no legs sits on a porch. He has no legs so it's considered standing

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What's worse then a worm in your apple You took a bite outta that apple.

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What is the same about fries chicken and watermelon? There both delicious.

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What benefits came from the September 11th attacks? None. It was one of the most horrific tragedies in American History

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Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a gun.

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Roses are red voilets are blue,you are gay so fuck you,!

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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Why did Suzue fall of the swing? The chain broke.

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what is the ??? crust^2 + Cool Whip

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What's the difference between an eight year old girl and a Jew? Only one comes back from camp.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7 because 7 is a escaped mental patient that thinks 6 betrayed him

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Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Because he was dangerously fatigued from staying up all night weeping passionately into the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of twenty years after the CEO of the company declared bankruptcy and finding out that his only daughter was in the hospital in critical condition after her school bus flipped off a bridge.

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There once was a man from Nantucket But then he moved to Boston and changes his name to "man from Boston"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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