How do you get a baby out of a blender? With tortilla chips.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream. He never got an ice cream he is alergic.

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What happened to the boy with AIDS? He died at the age of 12

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whats the difference between a black and a bunk bed? a bunk bed can support 2 kids.

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What do you call a Jew in the oven? The oven repair man

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Why did the little boy have gum on his shoe? Because he stepped on it

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? Becuase he was hit by a couch.

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What do you call a black man that robs a bank? A bank robber

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Have you ever seen that clown at walmart that hides from gay people?

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Obamacare

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a pope and priest walk into a bar what's the first thing they say? OUCH my head

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Want a fight? You Spelt F**K wrong O.o

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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How did the cat die of indigestion? Indigestion

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Q: What happens when you eat all the potatoes A: They are all gone

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A man was walking along and got his legs shot off. He then proceeded to calm his wife and children and buy a wheelchair.

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Der Ter-Rerks, nern ter serrentersts ers "Terernerserers Rerks", wers er dernerser dert lerved ern der Certersers perrerd. Ert wers er mert erter, prering ern smerler, plernt-erterng dernersers serch ers herdrersers ernd serrerperds. Ert erser hernterd der herned herberver Tersererterps, werd erverderns erf ferts ferned ern der ferserlersed rermerns.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver comes into the bar and gulps down the guys drink and the guy starts crying the lorry driver says "dont cry ill buy you another" thee guy sas "it's not that today i woke up late for work and when i got there i got fired and then when i went to go home feeling depressed my car doesnt startand so i walk home and i find my wife in bed with the gardener and so i came here to die but you drank my poison"

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Tim is a bald headed prick with an annoying voice and he looks like a clean shaven Walter White if he was on the same drugs that he was making and he looks like he smokes too much because the wrinkles on his forehead look like lips.

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Your mama's so old that typical places of business grant her the senior citizen discount.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue Poems don't have to rhyme

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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