"My foot is killing me" "no, actually it's that noose around your neck"

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LO AND BEHOLD!

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So this guy walks into the doctor's and says "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this." The doctor says "Yes, you've shattered both your kneecaps. You'll never walk again."

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A man walks into the corner of a table and bruises his leg. The bruise continues to be there for about 3 weeks.

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Giving birth to the antichrist

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why could the boy use the computer there was nothing wrong with him

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what do you get if you cross a retard with ruddell? andrew ruddel

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Have you seen Hellen Kellers mon?... Neither has she

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Why was the Amish man dead? Because he fell off of his fridge, while trying to screw in a light bulb.

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[Insert hurtful, yet spontaneous comment here.]

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how do you make Will Smith cry? cut off his toes and fingers.

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A dyslexic pervert asks to see a woman's bar. Then he is chased to the bra next door.

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Why did the boy drowned Bc he couldn't swim

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Q: What's worse than a dead baby? A: A dead baby with diarrhea.

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Yo momma so fat she should be concerned of contracting Coronary Heart Disease, high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes, abnormal blood fats, metabolic syndrome, cancer, osteoarthritis, sleep apnea, or even obesity hypoventilation syndrome

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so a horse walks into a bar and the bartender syas why the long face and the horse says naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wish you were here, To get to the other side!

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Tifa my ass, if that is your name buddy, then I am Nicholas Cage, or why do you not just call me Cloud Strife? Seriously, if you are a guy just say it and get lost, I will still honor my agreement and show up and see what I can do for your little order though, you pay the trip and the stay of course.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They beat her mercilessly.

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http://api.solvemedia.com/papi/media?c=2@4kVxPaRsBr6xmKYFf1AWrnUekZ5Qm16e@VS0Tc9Os5q8ENU8bgrSzdX9APTC4lJjowvMEvv53MnevBtoOvXkqvmo6q3GRjryi4pBIcsYECoiZmERhCMm3t7otsPlwyu31uNcluNyw3UKXeBeML2ZQF3X3Wfs3WC6Cdp-lOv-Y0fRdSiML4k2yPqmVJrbT.a9hCr0BoWsRJvq7n7aejLjOmz3h3eZDdwJaN54pFV-QOvO5sQ5wVZlVq-2yi9hMbBbb213AoVTT7vLIhTq0xcBFvtuMdWdS2jn2ActORr3W16MmSEVcgrS6gA;w=300;h=150;fg=ffffff;bg=5d216b

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What person looks most like Jim Carry? Jim Carry

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Why can't Michael Jackson swim? Because he is dead.

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Snausages.

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Who are the faster readers? New Yorkers, they through 110 stories in 5 seconds

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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