How do you make a baby stop crying?you scream at it and throw it at wall

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I Love Hitler.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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What do you call cheese that isn't your's? Someone else's cheese.

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A man walks into the market. He asks a young attractive employee in a smooth voice, "Do you have any honey here, baby?" The employee responds, "No sir. I'm sorry."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure.

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why did jimmy fall off the swing? because he was a tree.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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What's red, blue & green all over?

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because skeletons don't get invited to parties because they are the remains of something that is dead and that would be a very ood thing to have at a party.

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why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

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my captcha says : forkin chickens

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*Dubstep* CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW BWAB BWAB

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What is a Mexicans favorite sport? Tennis.

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T u r n i p s

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Why shouldnt you throw rocks at a black kid on a bike? Because the kid wasn't riding in your way, you could get arrested for assault and battery, and he probably lives in a low income area and cant afford health insurance if he was injured.

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What's the difference between a 1980 mustang and a pile of dead babies? I don't have the mustang in my garage.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an axe

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What do you get when you cross an own and a bungee cord? My ass

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How do you make a little girl cry? Throw a brick at her face.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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I asked my wife to make me a sandwich. I had forgotten she was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops