- Anti Joke

Why cant steve get a job? Because Steve Jobs is DEAD! Moral: And people are all like "you gotta respect the dead", uh... Why not respect people while they are alive? Humanity is so fucking "smart" sometimes ya? Not that your answer matters...

Why can't we see the wind? Because no one likes you...

Q: What do you say to someone who makes fun of you and is bigger than you? A: Nothing, you just punch him in the toe and run away

There once was a rich man who owned a really big mansion, he's a very organised man and likes routine, every day at 6.30pm he goes for an hour long jog. One day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his mansion is on fire and he can see a little orange man running away in the distance. But he thinks nothing of it. The man has lost a lot of money, but can still afford to move into a slighty smaller, yet still very large house. The next day he goes out for his jog and when he gets back his big house is on fire and again, he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it, but has now lost even more money, and has to move into a regular size house. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his house is on fire and again he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it and has lost even more money. He is really gutted by this point and now has to move into a single bedroom flat. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his flat is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He still thinks nothing of it and has now lost all his money, and has to move into a cardboard box under a bridge. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his cardboard box is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He is sick of this and decides to chase the little orange man. When he catches him he tackles him to the ground, turns him over and asks.. did you burn down my mansion, my big house, my average sized house, my flat, and my box? The little orange man replies no.

what is the difference between a puppy and a baby... ...they are different animals

How Do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door put the elephant in and close the door. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door take the elephant out put the giraffe in and close the door. The lion king has a meeting with all the animals but one doesn't turn up, which one is it? The giraffe because it's still in the fridge.

why was the giraffes head so far away from his body? because he has a long neck

Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

the chicken crossed the road. the chicken was then caught by animal control because it was in the middle of a city.

Whats long and hard on a black man..... 2nd grade

Hey guys wanna here a joke? Never mind it was a gay joke but f**k it.

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the dog that was chasing it.

Why did Billy start a fire? Because he was cold.

What do you call a terrible Therapist that shoots coke up his nose? Sickman, Sickman Fraud.

What did the sexually promiscuous man get for Christmas? AIDS.

WHY DO IDIOTS RIGHT STUPID JOKES BECAUSE THEY HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO WITH THERE LIVES.

How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb? Probably just one.

How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

Doctor: Knock knock. Patient: Whose there? Doctor: Interrupting doctor. Patient: Interrupting doc... Doctor: Your son has AIDS and will die soon.

So a guy with alsimers walks into a bar........I forget the rest.

Oh, right

i like my rose red and my diamonds blue your screamin mercy so did ur mom but i killed her to

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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