What is a dog? Bark

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how do you kill a bear. -you shoot it.

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A priest sneeks in to a pre-school and is arrested shortly after for tresspassing.

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i am an arrow and i did not hit your knee!f

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Why didnt the deer move out of the street when the guy yelled at it? Because deer are a very sensitive species you should try asking politely next time.

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What is the difference between an obese white man, and a physically fit black man? Their weight and skin color.

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Roses are red, violets are purple.

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Hey I'm a poet and I didn't even realize that I was a poet

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Why does an elephant lay on it's back with its feet in the air? To trip birds.

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Why couldn't John play soccer? Because he was arrested for being black.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because your a fag.

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Probably just one.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called anti joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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Yo mama has had so many kidney stones she has to be on a water diet.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread, and loaves of bread are incapable of understanding the intricacies of fly-by-wire guidance and propulsion systems.

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Q: What cat walks on two feet? A: Garfield Q: What mouse walks on two feet? A: Mickey Mouse Q: What duck walks on two feet? A: Donald Duck? A: No, all ducks you dipshit.

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What did the woman get for her 18th birthday? Stabbed to death.

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

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Why was Johnny crying? Because... Because... Because... Because... Because... Because of the wonderful things he does.

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Why couldn't the woman drive the car? Because she was a woman.

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Why did the TV not turn off? You need to use a remote.

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Fire is red Water is blue Earth is brown Air is transparent

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A lady with no legs walked..... never mind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops