Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

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My nieghbor is blonde, but she doesnt like corn dogs or anything of that sort because her boyfriend is mexican. Mexcans are banned from eating corn dogs because they illegally crossed the border. Her dog wieghs about 8.9485763 pounds. Her nieghbor also protests corndogs because she cant fit throught her customized door which was 39 feet long. Why was six afraid of seven? because that lady is 700 pounds.

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A man and his young child walk into a clinic to get physical check-up. The man learns from the physicist he doesn't mater. His wife remarries and start having frequent sex and the child is scarred for life. This is irrelevant because both parents don't exist and this is all a constant delusion in an psychiatric hospital.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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An asian loses to you in starcraft..

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My great grandfather died in a concentration camp. The poor guy fell off the guard tower.

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How did the black man get a car? He bought it.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

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Why did the airplane crash? It was hit by a flying refrigerator.

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Q:What does a virgin and a penny both have in common? A:Guys don't want them.

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Knock Knock Who's there A girl scout want to buy some cookies to raise money for my cardiac surgery?

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amy copied adams haircut :0

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What do you call a Jew reading a book in the library? Steve Goldberg. .

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What happens when you throw a midget off of a tall building? It dies and the people below get midget on them

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dog. Dog who? I have a dog.

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Whats worse than standing on lego? Rebecca black. whats worse than Rebecca Black? Justin Bieber. Whats worse than justin Bieber? Standing on a baby that isnt yours.

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What is white, and hurts when it falls from a tree? -tom

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Why did the police officer pull over a black guy? He was going over the appropriate speed limit for that area.

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Two muffins are in an oven, and one muffin says to the other "It sure is getting hot in here". the other muffin says "holy crap, a talking muffin."

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Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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Q. Why do cheetahs run so fast? A. Because their bodies allow them to.

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whats round red and taste like candy? such a thing doesn't exist

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why couldnt james zatts swim? he was half black

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I pulled a disabled girl in the pub last night. The handle on her wheelchair was caught in my jacket.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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