What happens to men who grow up. They are probably taller

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink and then goes home and beats his wife.

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You know what they say... Big feet Lawn-mower

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Knock Knock. Whose there? The Police, you wife died in a car accident.

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You had 10 bricks on an airplane, you throw one. How many do you now have? 9. How do you get the elephant in the fridge? Open the fridge put the elephant in. How do you get the giraffe in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in. There was an animal meeting, all animals were invited. Which animal was missing? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge. An old woman wants to cross a river that was full of crocodiles. How does she cross without getting eaten? The crocodiles were at the animal meeting, so she got across safely. She dies anyways. What happened? She was hit by the brick.

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What has feet but cannot walk? What has a beak but cannot peck? What has wings but cannot fly? A dead bird.

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Why did the mum scream at the boy? Because he was being stupid

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How do you make your mom mad? Burn down the house and eat the dog.

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What do you call a black guy who is a lifeguard An African American male who puts his safety before others

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How do you get a Mother out of a tree? Ask them to come down, because it is really not socially acceptable for a responsible adult to be climbing trees.

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What did one butthole say to the other butthole? I'm actually not sure. I wasn't there when he said it.

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I used to be an adventurer, but then I decided to retire.

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How do you get girls to watch a crappy movie? Tell them Taylor Lautner is in it.

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A: Hi I am a Mormon B: I know I'm one of your wifes

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What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

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What's the opposite of stupid? diputs

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What is worse than getting stung by a wasp? Getting raped by a sexually frustrated bear.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple finding half a worm in your apple.

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Why is the horny toad named that way? Because its a misnomer of the horned lizard.

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Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says its getting hot in here the other muffin say holy shit a talking muffin.

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Whats funny and has 2 wheels The holocaust, I lied about the wheels, and the funny

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Yo' Mama's so old that her age is over the average age of most people.

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Q: There was a cinnamon bun and a cow out flying, one of them fell.. who? A: The cinnamon bun because cinnamon bun's can't fly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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