What did chris say? Nothing, bushes cant talk!

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A man works at a brick factory. He is told by his boss that if he is to steal any brick from the factory, he will be sacked. But every day the man steals one brick and puts it in his lunch box to take home and is not caught. One day he has enough bricks to build a house, and he says "When I build this house there will be none left over". The house is now built and while the man is taking a look around he stubs his toe on something, he looks down to see a brick and he sighs, picks up the brick and throws it in the air. There are two pilots driving a plane, one has a dog and one has a wardrobe. One pilot says to the other "I don't particularly like dogs" then the other pilot says to him "I don't really like wardrobes". They then make an agreement and throw both the wardrobe and the dog out the window. Five minutes later one pilot looks out the window out onto the plane wing, and guess what he sees? A brick.

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Q: how do you stop a baby's crying keeping you up at night A: pull out it's wind pipe

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how long is a chinese name. how long. yup.

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

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What do black people eat? What everyone else does!

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So a duck walks into a drugstore and asks the clerk for lip balm. The clerk asks, "How will you be paying for that?" to which the duck replies, "Cash."

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Q.whats the differecne between a bicycle? A. orange,...a vest dont got no sleeves.

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A black and a mexican jump off a building, What a tragedy...

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what comes in tube and smells like toothpaste? toothpaste

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Do you like cheese? Yes. Okay.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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A vodka please Sir this is McDonald's Ok sorry, a McVodka please

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have u seen helen kellers dad? A: neither has she

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the slut suck a dick? Because she's a slut.

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why didnt little timmy finish his test he was eaten by a muslim rhino... .

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What did the Muslim receive for Christmas? Nothing. Muslims don't celebrate Christmas.

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mental kid

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Q. what has 2 legs and can't walk A. a paraplegic

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Why did Bill yell? Because he stepped on a nail.

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Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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It is true that Trump will make America great again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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