What's big and grey and can't climb trees? A car park.

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What do you get when you put a black guy in a blender. Why are you still reading....

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George Bush.

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What did the little boy say when he was sick? Nothing. He stayed in bed and slept all day.

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Haikus are easy But they often dont make sense flying flamingos

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Your ancestors called. They want their glasses back!

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Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Perpresher

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Why did the black man win the race? Because he was talented and hardworking.

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Why didn't Johnny have any food left? Because he ate it all.

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knock knock - "who's there" - "i'm a escaped convict who's here to murder you and rob your house" - "Well come in the doors already open"

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Women

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Cleveland winning something

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Why was the jew so happy? He won the lottery which at the time was 3.40 dollars

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What did the White lady say to the Black lady? Hello, how are you?

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Gun Control

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A black man, an Asian man, and a white man are stranded in the wilderness after their plane crashed. The black man has a flashlight, the Asian a bottle of water, and the white man a can of beans. They put their racial differences aside to increase chance of survival but were eaten by a pack of coyotes.

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As a kid I was always told that school would get me good places. As an adult, I have found that there is another thing that gets you into a good place. Shrooms.

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What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

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Lady: I think you guys would be very happy here. Chandler: No no no no no no! No, we're not together. We're not a couple, definitely not a couple! Joey: You seem pretty insulted by that. What? I'm not good enough for you? Chandler: We're not going to have this conversation AGAIN!

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What's worse than having a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? A watermelon is edible.

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How did the magician make his assistant disappear? He killed her and then cremated her body

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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