A hobo said to another hobo "Im homeless"

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Put it in the microwave

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Penis.

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Why did the black lady pick out a white dress? Because she thought it was a pretty white dress.

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What do the pope and an orange have in common? They're both fruits. Except for the pope.

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Knock knock... Whos there? The IRS, we are taking your house.

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Yesterday, I was assasinated.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing he died.

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Who is stupid and no one likes him. Me. :(

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Roses Are red violets are blue I HAVE FIVE FINGERS THE MIDDLE IS FOR U

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How many dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dogs do not have aposable thumbs therefore they cannot screw in light bulbs

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i once thought i could do crytal meth but then i thought naw better not

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How is butter and your mom similar? They both consist of much fat.

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GRAAAAAAAR.

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What did the grape say to the bannana? Nothing.

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Your mama's so fat her patronus is a cake

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What is it about homosexuals that's so gay? What is it about heterosexuals that's so straight? What is it about an apple that's so gay?(Because it's a FRUIT right?) What is it about penises that's so straight?

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What was the last thing that went through the crashing helicopter pilot's head? The propeller.

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Why was the man sitting down? He was recently paralyzed in a car accident.

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what is the difference between Rick Perry and Lindsay Lohan? it only takes Lindsay 4 1/2 hours to finish a sentance.

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What do you get if you cross if you cross an overweight woman with a pair of very tight trousers? Exactly that, an overweight woman in inappropriately tight torusers.

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Its alright for you to act like a bitch but its not allright for me to call u one

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Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because people have encroached on it's natural habitat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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