Whats the similairity between a dog and a cat? They're both cats, except for the dog.

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What do you do when life throws lemons at you? Take out your lemon shield and retreat deep into your lemon proof bunker.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had sinned.

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What did the baby say to the man? Babies can't talk ,the baby did not say anythingto the man!

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I love results day! for every A* I get 30 pounds! everything else I cut myself.

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What make's a constuction worker drop's his hammer? MC Hammer moves.

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What do you call a girl with no arms and legs? Whatever her name is.

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Why do blacks have a little white on their hands? God has always said that everybody has a little good in them.

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What did the boy do with his ice cream? He ate it.

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Gregory: Hey, aren't you that pretty girl I saw from the party? Jenny: Huh? Gregory: No wait, it can't be you. Because you are WAY prettier. Jenny: Aw, that's so sweet, lemme give you my phone number. Gregory: Okay I'm ready to copy Jenny: It's 1-800-get-a-life-loser Gregory: Biitch

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Stevie Wonder: Did you see the new piano I got from pepsi? Me: no.... Stevie Wonder: Neither did I...........

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this is an anti joke so it has no punch line :D

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What's faster than a black man running with a VCR? His son with the receipt of purchase as they realize VCR's are clearly outdated and must be returned right away.

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Q: How do you drown a black guy? A: Hold his head underwater and sit on his back.

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whats ironic about a white van being white the driver usualy is not

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What happened to the guy that got a perfect score on his S.A.T.'s? He was murdered.

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Life gives you lemons you make lemonade. What do you do when life gives you melons... youre skrewed.

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your mother eats so many chocolates and sugary confectionary that i would recommend a check up the the dentist.

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You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon.

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Yo mama so stupid, she should be worried about Alzheimer's disease.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms or lags get for christmas? A: He dosent now he cant open them.

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What's under the first mate? The second mate.

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What did one cake say to the other? You wanna piece of me?!?

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What do you call a terrible Therapist that shoots coke up his nose? Sickman, Sickman Fraud.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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