A man called his dentist and asked when he should make an appointment. The dentist told him to come in around two thirty pm because that's when the next appointment was available.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,979

What do you call a prostitute with morals? Ironic.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

AND THE GAME BEGINS ANEW!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

This is a joke about Helen Keller. "Knock knock" "Who's there?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Whats the difference between garlic bread and a Jewish person? Garlic bread doesn't scream in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A rat and a pig rape a puppy. Hey, that's just life.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you kill a blonde? Push her off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why Are Parking Lines White? - So You Can See Them..

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a Caucasian in Russia? Russian.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock Who's there? The mailman The mailman who? The MAILMAN The MAILMAN who? I'm the Fu*king mailman now here's your MAIL!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Where do you find a dog with no legs ? Same place you left it ...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a man who gets off the train at Willoughby? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A woman with big boobs walks into a bar and gets raped

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Do you like cats? You gotta be kitten me.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is Bigfoots favorite food? Biscuits and Gravy.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Jim bean takes out a can of- Let me guess- No.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Baby you think i loved you, but you got played too

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A black man goes down to Alabama in the 1960s; He gets lynched.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what do an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +381

*Phone rings* Hello? Hi, is your refrigerator running? No, it actually broke down yesterday. Are you the repair man? Yes, the repairs will cost $400

thumb_up thumb_down +3

When the poop hits the fan and you walk in with your pants around your ankles, it's a bad sign!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops