What did the girl say when she arrived at the party? "I like what you did with the furniture!"

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -None, they will pay for somebody else to do it

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Why was the man crying? Because he was punched in the stomach.

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You know what they say about a guy with big feet? He wears large socks and has big shoes.

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Q: What did one car say to another? A: Nothing. Cars can't speak.

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Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

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What do you get when you cross a dog with an anteater? An animal unlikely to survive beyond infancy.

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Ok, I have a knock knock joke for ya.......you start.

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If a rooster lays a brown egg on the south side of an Asian man's roof, which way would I turn at the intersection? Folderol, because laundry has no soul.

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I fear I do, maybe someone fooled you, but that was originally one of my aliases.

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What do you get when you cross a baby and a chainsaw? Life imprisonment.

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To whomever it may concern, You are currently reading this anonymous letter from someone anonymous. I’m currently watching you read this letter. I am not a threat. I am not Big Brother. I am someone anonymous. You will never find out who I am. You may have a few ideas of who this might be, but you will be wrong. Just know that I am watching you. That is all. I love you. All for Jesus -A

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I Wish... I was Charlie Sheen's Dealer

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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yo mamas so ugly she is often made fun of andridiculed about her appearance.

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There's a pile of dead babies with one live baby on the bottem eating it's way out.

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How do you get Jack to fall of his bike? Push him off

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally!

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What is the differnce between a baby and a watermelon??? One is fun to smash and one is a watermelon

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Q: What's black and can crash into you A: a black guy in a car

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A white man and a black man play a game of basketball, who wins? It depends who's better

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I had a dream, then i died in it and now i'm dead but who cares, how are you ?

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im black

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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