what did the murderer say to the man... i'm going to kill you

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roses are blue, violets are red, im colorblind

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Life is like swimming. When you drown you die.

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What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

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A man walked into a bar. He sustained a mild concussion and a brusied pelvis

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A dolphin walked into a bar, wait. . . dolphins can't walk, or go to bars.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm random but can still rhyme Hatsune Miku

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Why did Madona rub shit on her vagina? Because she was horny.

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A black van approaches a small boy. The boy gets in the van, and the van drives away.

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How did the two friends cross the busy road? They couldn't, because that would be considered jay-walking

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why couldnt the boy get into the pirate movie? he was hit by a mexican telephone server.

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When you're climbing up a ladder and you feel something splatter, you may want to see what happened, and then promptly clean up the mess so one one slips.

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What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

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What do you get when you cross a rusty nail and a foot? Tetanus

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Why didn't Susan go to school on show-and-tell day? Because she's dead.

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Why did Colussi miss 2 years of school? -Because he died

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what did the chicken say to the farmer? nothing, chickens dont talk.

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what has wheels and is red. A heart, i lied about the wheels.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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What did the unicorn say to the man.\ Nothing unicorns don't exist

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You might be a redneck if you are from a rural area and act as such.

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Why is nate asian? no one knows neither of his parents appear to be of asian desent

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We've just had sex, Now you have aids too....

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Did you hear about the man who swam to the bottom of the ocean? He drowned

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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