What do you call a snail driving a boat? An accident waiting to happen.

What's dumber than a black guy that can't read? Two black guys that can't run with TVs.

There were two ducks in a bathtub. One duck says to the other, "Pass me the soap" The other duck replies, "What do i look like, a toaster?"

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven died three months ago and was clawing on his bedroom window.

What do you call a cow that's holy? Holy Cow

Why is a bear like a cloud? They are both blue.

how long is a chinese name. how long. yup.

Why did the boy not turn in his homework? Because his pet ate it.

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

So a guy walks into a bar.... he gets a few drinks pays his bill and goes home

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well why wouldn't it?

What did the Catholic priest say after he fell off a cliff? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How do you get a nun pregnant? You practice unprotected sex with her.

Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

Two men are sitting on the couch watching sports, the first man farts, the second chuckles. They continue watching their program.

what did the dead guy say to the boy? nothing he is dead.

How many Jews fit in an oven? Nein

Why did the jew go to the doctors? Because he had a severe headache.

homosexual

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

Why was the woman crying? Because I hit her with a bat.

Why did the burglar rob the bank? because he needed money due to the economic decline.

Knock, Knock! Who's There? Your neighbor, I found your lost cat! Oh thanks!

Like if you like big tits.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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