"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

so if you need 20 dollars and you just kicked your cat how old is your mom. cake because you are a 666 member.

Knock Knock. Did someone outside the front door just say "Knock Knock"?

What did Justin Bieber say when he lost his tampon? Where's my tampon?

how did the chicken cross the road. it didnt.

What did the terrorist do to the small village? Destroy it with a bomb vest.

What do you get when you read a book? More knowledge in your brain.

Your so gay, that you like men!

Robin- Hey, Batman, can i drive tonight? Batman- Eat my left dick Robin- OK, Batman, but can i still ... mmuupfm fmuupmf... I suppose that means no... mmmupf mmfupfmpfmum...

Why wasn't the TV remote working? It was out of batteries.

what do you call a man who go his head cut off in a car accident? dead.

a kid plays computer games alot and gets carpoltunel in both hands and lives in pain for the rest of his life.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

roses are red violets are blue maskrosor are gula

Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

How do you help a black person find a job ? Tell them places that are hiring.

Know whats worse than a worm in your apple? Getting fridges thrown at you.

How are a dead chicken and a woman alike? They both belong in the kitchen

Q: How do you know what will happen when the world willl end? A: by experience

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? answer: Where's my tractor?

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am colorblind because Iam a dog.

What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and looks like a duck? Nothing. Ducks cannot speak, therefore this description negates all known living organisms.

what's white and 10 inches? nothing....

What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd probably pay in cash.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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