What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man in a gorilla suit with a banana.

So, a giraffe walks into a bar and orders six martinis and shame on for wanting a punch line this giraffe needs help.

What is the greatest anti-joke ever told? I had it right here, but I lost it when I was being raped by a Triceratops.

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

An African american man fell out of a boat at sea. He swam back to the boat.

how do you get a clown off a swing??? hit him in the back with an ax!

Q- How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A- You Poke Her Face

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Which is the rarest animal in the North pole? The Polaroid.

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

Why was Johnny crying? Because... Because... Because... Because... Because... Because of the wonderful things he does.

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

How much Is a free app on my market?

How do you piss off a jew slash his tires

What's the difference between Michael J. Fox and a blender? Michael J. Fox is a successful actor starring in many movies, and a blender is a kitchen appliance.

Why did the school fall? Because a hurricane hit.

Who wakes up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy? P. Diddy.

Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car. A. Get in the car.

A fat guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "the regular?" The fat man replies, "actually this time I wanna try something different."

What did the boy with AIDS, polio, one eye and one arm get for Christmas? Cancer.

Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Maybe because it had escaped from the farm and as it doesn't have full conciousness, it couldn't distinguish between grass and the asphalt, so it happened to cross the road.

A boy in Bible class was poking a girl in front of him with a pencil. Atfer, maybe ten minutes of this, she was asked "Sarah, what did Eve say to Adam after they had had twenty-seven children" The boy poked her with the pencil again. She stood up, and said "I think we have enough kids Adam."

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