Ask me if I'm God.. Dude, we all know you're not God.

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What do friends and trees have in common? They will fall over if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have short-term memory loss. And roses are red.

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what did the philosopher say, when he considered the transient nature of life in relation to ones own personal and egocentric grasp upon circumstance and purpose? massive erection.

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knock, knock who's their? police get down on the ground!

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Your Mum is soo fat.

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a. why? b. because

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A blonde is walking down the road, and she sees a sign saying STOP. She carries on walking. As a pedestrian, the sign does not apply to her.

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Q. Why did the boy fall off the swing? A. He had no arms or legs. Q. What did he get for Christmas? A. A drumset Q. Knock Knock Who's there Not him

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How many kleptomaniacs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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An elderly man farts during Sunday morning mass. The children around him laugh and then their parents remind them to be respectful.

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What do you call an elephant on the moon? Dead.

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Q: What is strange about Arabs? A: Very little.

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why did the chicken cross the road cause i fucked your mom

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wtf the enter the following thingie says I am here

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If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

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Knock knock. Who is it? The police officer. ok, im not home.

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A Finnish guy and a Russian guy go into a sauna. The Russian died.

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Fifteen out of twenty therapists is great, but five are left out.

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one day ill be as old as you but you'll be older then too.

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Q: what do you call a person who's ass is dumb A: a dumbass

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Jeff: Did you know, someone called you an owl? Billy: Who?

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What do you get from M&M bags? M&Ms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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