What's green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A pool table

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didnt she get back up? She had no friends.

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Hello penis

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Justin Bieber got laid

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Yesterday I saw a black kid outrun a white kid know why? Because the white kid was a cripple

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Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

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Why are there so many black men in the NBA? Because they trained hard and practiced regularly to get there..

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What do you do when you have 2 eggs, but only want to use 1? I don't know. I guess you could just use 1 of them and save the other for another time?

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How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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Q:whats the wost thing that can happen to you when you find something? A:not finding something

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What's the difference between your garage and mine? A pile of dead babies.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Heroshima

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Two people were playing Monopoly. One was a blonde and one was black. The blonde said, "your turn".

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple??? You... Lol jk no there could be alot of things like getting raped, the holocaust, me killing your children i mean someone killing your children. Because if it was me you would know it was me and file a report and i would be arrested and be sent to jail. And in jail i would try my hardest to stay alive brcause if i died that would suck. I would also try not to drop the soap beacuse i might get rapped by some prisib mate, also the floors are quite dirty and that would guve me any type of bacteirial infection like the stupid yeats infection or maby the persob who takes it from me when i finnish would get aids cause it dropped on the floor and who knows were it was. Then he would die from aids and his wife and or kids would be sad and set up a funeral were a preist would stand in akward silence cause the guy murderd the preists father so he wouldnt be mean an ruin the funeral but he wouldnt say anything nice. But after the funeral the preist would go back home and smoke a cigarette because he has started an unhealthy habbit just like millions of people around the world. When will people learn that it kills you faster than cancer well some cancers are quite quick and painless like a head tumor. But most tumors are able to be saved because the doctors are smart these days coming from yale or havord universitys and what not. Most peopel want to take the easy way out by just working at kinkos or wallmart. Both jobs are shit wich is why im probably going to go there cause no one else will except me in there offices or departments. I think its the fact i look like a pedofile trying to kill babys but you know how life is short and difficult to control but you have one life why waste it. Stupid emo kids trying to cut emselfs and shoot themselfs so they dont have to deal with theirs or their partners periods because the other day coming back from mc donalds this guy almost hit me with his car and threw a cup at me for some strange reason but hey not my problem unless he was my first victim?...... Lol jk i have never killed anyone and im not that creapy... Awks POTATO!!!

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Persond A: A guy blows himself and his family up with a hand grenade Person B: HEY!!! Thats not funny thats how my family died

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How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

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How do you prevent aids? Nail an orphan to your genitals before sex.

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Chocolate rain Awesome!

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Once there was an ugly barnical, He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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A man walks into a bar... and gets hurt.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because women have the same rights as men thanks to the 19th amendment and sexism needs to die.

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The joke below me was written by someone who was mauled by a panther and raped by a tribe.

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"Why the long face?" The bartender asked. "I was born with a severe cleft palette and a jaw deformity. The surgery lets me eat and drink but my parents couldn't afford the cosmetic part of the surgery, the scarring got worse as I grew older. Can I have a beer please?" I replied.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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