A boy grows up loving tractors. For birthday and Christmas each year he got a tractor toy of some kind, until the age of 17, when he finally gave up tractors and got himself a CD player. One day, listening to all the latest tunes with some headphones, he looks outside to see his neighbour's house on fire. He goes outside to find firemen trying to put out the blaze. He jumps into the blazing house and inhales as much as he can, which astonishingly puts out the blaze. A fireman confusing asked "How did you do that?" The boy replies, " I'm an ex-tractor fan."

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Whats lemon scented and you shouldn't drink? Bleach

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Just kidding, it got hit by a car on the way to the other side.

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well crap whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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i bought a knock-knock joke book, and was unamused.

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How did the gay guy greet the other gay guy? Nice to meet you.

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Why did Jack got late to his date? Because he was playing Call of Duty and forgot about the time.

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"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains." "Well that sounds like a mental illness and I deal predominantly with physical ailments"

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What happened to the man who fell off a cliff? He fell

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I tried to post an unfunny punch-line-less joke on anti-joke. It worked and I got tons of emotional affirmation from it and stuff, so thanks.

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knock knock who's there bob bob who bob marley who else

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A man walked into a bar...Ouch. He received a minor concussion from the impact of the cement wall of the building and a slight goose egg on his forehead.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A bag of burning crap.

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What did the gay guy say to the other gay guy Want to make out?

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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sdrawkcab ekoj siht tleps I whether you like it or not

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What's black, white, and red all over? White on black homicide.

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Why did the boy cross the road Because he needed to get to the bus stop

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I once did something.

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A man walks into a sporting goods store and pulls out a gun. Then he returns it and leaves.

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roses are red violets are blue i like elephants

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what do you call a sexy feminist? nothing, there are none

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What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

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Q. What's louder than one dinosaur? A. A whole bunch of dinosaurs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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