A bartender walks into a bar. He serves alcohol for a living.

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knock knock There's no door

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What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? I don't know man, but you touch yourself at night.

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Magic Johnson has AIDS

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Tell him he won the current game of hide n seek.

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What happens when a bunch of animals break into your house... they eat you.

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What day is it today? Today. Thank you. You're welcome.

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What's the worst part about a plane with 500 people in it crashing? It might leave a dent in the ground.

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What's the difference between victims of Brady and Hindley and a pile of dead babies? Some were born dead and the others were raped then killed.

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Is it a bird, is it a plane?! No it's.... It's a bird.

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Hello

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Why did the little girls ice cream melt? Because she was on fire.

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What do a plane and a flight attendant have in common? They're both going somewhere in their careers. Aside from the flight attendant.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

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How much coke can Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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Why was the Nazi killed? for crimes against Humanity

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Out of Jill, Jason, Jesse, Jane and Harold, which one is the odd one out? Jason, because he only has one arm.

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What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber and One Direction? A bunch of gay pop stars.

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What do you call two Japanese men digging through rubble? Worried family members of missing relatives due to the recent devastating tragedy in the island nation of Japan.

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Why did the boy Drop his Ice Cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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Lol, she does not think anything, she knows. Its not unfaithfulness if you ask for permission and are granted so because the trust is strong and mutual.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a beer, drinks it and walks out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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