Why did the people thumbs-up the anti-joke? Because I threatened them with A GUN

What did the man say to his wife? We are both men. Apart from you.

Why are so many children obese? Because they eat to much and they are not physically active enough

Why did Jake not get on the bus? Answer: Because Jake is a dog. Dogs are not allowed on the bus.

An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

Mexicans are like waffles

Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

Why did the boy dress up as a zombie? Because it was Halloween.

Roberto: Did you watch that WNBA game tonight?!? Will: No Roberto: Me either

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Doctor, people always laught at me at work! :( What do you do for a living? I am a comedian...

Why doesn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead

JUSTIN BIEBER IS A FAG

what do you do when a baby screams? shake it.

"Ask me if I am a Lemon?" "Are you a Lemon?" "Yes, ask me if I'm an Orange" "No, I'm a Lemon."

Q) You know how I know your gay A) Cuz your gay

Why did the plane crash into a mountain? Because a Banana was flying it, and Bananas can't fly planes.

What's wrong the a man who can't tell where he is, can't tell where he's going, and doesn't know how to use a map? Downs Syndrome

How many Polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? My dad is dead.

An Irishman walked out of a bar. A Frenchman was polite. An Englishman had beautiful teeth.

This is a racist joke but who cares!? What is the difference between a black guy and a bag of shit? The bag I apologize to all my fellow black friends. -Lets go MEts

I don't know what I've been told I'm a refrigerator

knock knock who's there? roses are red, violets are blue, i shit in a bag and now its in flames on your porch

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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