What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, shes already been told twice

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Hide him under your coat.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobile? -Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile!

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Roberto: Did you watch that WNBA game tonight?!? Will: No Roberto: Me either

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Where was Sally when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

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Why did Uncle Monty shove his head up a horses arse? Because it gave Doris an erection. She chose to keep her male genital organs following her gender changing procedure, so that she could still father children.

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Why did child's mom cry when he was born? The child had no head.

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Joe Paterno dosn't walk into a police station.-South Park

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Two sausages were in a pan. One says "Wow it's hot in here!" the other says "OH MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE"

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What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

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Why Does God Hate Gays? He Doesent, God Does Not Exist.

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Why did the girl die? She read Twililght

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Why doesn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead

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Bryce Harlan and I are close friends Love, Pete K

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banana

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There was a Mexican, a Chinese, and an American on a plane. The Mexican threw down a sack of beans, the Chinese threw down a sack of rice, and the American threw down a bomb. The plane landed. When the three passengers stepped out of the plane, they were hungry.

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How do you make a baby spin? Put it in a blender and turn it on.

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Why do priest touch children? They are sexually deprived and frustrated because their religion forbids them from having a normal sexual relationship with the opposite sex.

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Why did the chicken kill itself? To get to the other side.

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When there's something weird in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The police.

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Why am I losing my time writing this joke even knowing that I will get lots of thumbs down?

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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