why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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Me:I talk to myself to much. Me:Same

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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Dislike if you shag sheep ;)

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Why did the business man move to New York? Because he saw a potential business opportunity that could benefit him and his loving family.

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Why do vampires suck the blood of their victims? Because blood is very nutritious and provides more iron for heamoglobin.

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Did you hear about the speed reader on top of the Twin towers? 90 stories 5 seconds.

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What did the headless man say? Nothing. The man can't speak because he doesn't have a head.

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why did the lady take anti depressants? because she was depressed

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An elephant and a llama walk into a bar. Realizing that they must have broken out of the local zoo, all of the people run out of the bar screaming.

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whats long black, eight inches and sometimes has white on the tips of them? a black mans foot the wears an eight inch shoe.

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What did the senile man say to the kids on his lawn? Tree dance the gator thong for my nipples.

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Bob fell off his roof.

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Friends are like snow: If you piss on them, they disappear.

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Why did child's mom cry when he was born? The child had no head.

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Joe Paterno dosn't walk into a police station.-South Park

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What do you do when your dishwasher isn't working? Beat it senseless, and then tell your wife you need a new one.

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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Doctor, people always laught at me at work! :( What do you do for a living? I am a comedian...

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Ok, so, a big moose walks into a store and he looks around for potatoes but he cant find any. So he asked a worker, "do you know where the potatoes are?" and she says, "the potatoes are in aisle 3." So the moose goes to aisle 3 and there aren't any potatoes!

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Bryce Harlan and I are close friends Love, Pete K

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Why doesn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead

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ARE YOU READY FOR THE OLDEST ANTIJOKE EVER WRITTEN: HERE IT COMES....... THE MOST ANCIENT OF THEM ALL...... ARE YOU READY?????? HERE WE GO...... Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! THAT'S RIGHT. THIS IS IN FACT AN ANTI JOKE - "...ends with such an anti climax...the lack of punchline is the punchline."

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Why did the girl die? She read Twililght

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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