If file gives you melons, you might be dyslexic

Bob fell off his roof.

What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin boys? Thomas and David after his father and grandfather.

Chuck Norris is so strong, he can lift really heavy things without hardly even trying.

Penis.

Knock Knock. Who's There? Jehovah's Witnesses.

whats funnier than a penguin playing a banjo? i don't know because I've never seen one and probably never will because it is a highly improbable event.

How many lemons does it take to fix a lightbulb Lemons can't fix lightbulbs as the don't have a mind,heart or any limbs.Think about that crap.

So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

A sheep walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

Why do I staple a mans mouth to his penis. Because I wanted to

what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

A man walks out of a bar followed by the people he came with because they just announced "last call". The man is the designated driver for the night.

I don't know what I've been told I'm a refrigerator

why did the lady take anti depressants? because she was depressed

Mexicans are like waffles

Whats funny about a car crash? If a bowl of soup is talking.

Where was Sally when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

69

What is green and invisible? This cabbage.

Why doesn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead

Why did the cow jump over the moon? He cant jump over the moon due to low gravity

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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