Why doesn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? George. George Who? George Smith.

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Why does Marcus keep playing dumb games instead of doing his goelogy. No one knows.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin says "oh my god were going to die!" The other says "Holy shit a talking muffin!"

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know your mother is a skank.

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I was in the middle of downloading a porno of two hot girls getting it on, my computer got a virus and crashed.

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What did Batman say to his parents? Nothing. They're dead. Idiot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the farmer cross the road? To pick up the dead chicken

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Q: Whats worse than the death of flappy bird? A: The holocaust.

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why did the lady take anti depressants? because she was depressed

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knock knock who's there? roses are red, violets are blue, i shit in a bag and now its in flames on your porch

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Hide him under your coat.

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Why were the floors of the movie theaters so sticky? Spilled beverages.

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Q: What do you call a black pilot? A: A pilot, you racist

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Two sausages were in a pan. One says "Wow it's hot in here!" the other says "OH MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE"

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What's black, white and red all over? A zebra carcass

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing. Muffins are incapable of speaking.

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69

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Jews...

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What did the man say to his wife? We are both men. Apart from you.

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What do you do when a elephant is sitting on your fence? You hit it with a fridge

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When there's something weird in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The police.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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