Get in the car.

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What's worse than finding a repeated joke on Anti-Joke? Your family being massacred in front of your eyes.

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Whats the easiest way to solve problems in Haiti? Nuke them.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Shoes, socks, and mittens.

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Where does a homeless person live? No where

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Why is your face? Because.

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

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An Irishman walked out of a bar. A Frenchman was polite. An Englishman had beautiful teeth.

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Why didn't Joe have any friends? Because according to Thomas Hobbes man is anti-social by nature and therefore the only friends that he has are purely to reach his own ends and thus Joe cannot truly have friends in the sense that many use the word.

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What is Justin Beiber's favorite pastime? According to his biography, it's reading science fiction novels

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An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

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Bob- yo mammas soo fat tha.. Joe- I know...

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Mexicans are like waffles

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? If you eat a Jew, you're deemed a cannibal and are frowned upon by the majority of society.

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Penis.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Jehovah's Witnesses.

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A dog walked into a bar. The bartender barked at the dog and the dog replied with, "I don't speak dog language."

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How many lemons does it take to fix a lightbulb Lemons can't fix lightbulbs as the don't have a mind,heart or any limbs.Think about that crap.

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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Every 60 seconds in Africa.... A minute passes.

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What's the difference between an elephant and I?Our mass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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