Whats worse than dying? Nothing, really.

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Somewhere, sometime in the world a man leads his country prominently in an era of change. He makes beautiful and strong speeches to his people. He also kills millions of Jewish people. No seriously, he kills millions of people it's great.

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Where was Sally when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

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What is the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first one to walk on the moon... and Michael Jackson molested little children.

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Have you heard about the new German microwave? It's a great labour-saving appliance that cooks food much more quickly than a conventional oven

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? *cause 7 8 9? NO cause 7 was a nigga!

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin says "oh my god were going to die!" The other says "Holy shit a talking muffin!"

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What do you call a man who writes anti-jokes? Rhys, because that is my name. thank you

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What did the man say to his wife? We are both men. Apart from you.

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Why did the people thumbs-up the anti-joke? Because I threatened them with A GUN

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Who has the biggest cock A rooster

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Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station..

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The King stands next to a pole. The King goes away, the pole stays there.

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I believe that as long as we do not change, as we decide to believe in ourselves and use our strength and potential, all that is left, is to see which side fate favors. Maybe we are meant to survive trough our strength and belief in ourselves and each other, or maybe we are, or will eventually end up as the last people of our kind, and fade away from life, proving that those that trust in the corrupt, where better than us. Suddenly I feel so alone.

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Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

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A homeless man comes home from work.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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What do you do when your dishwasher isn't working? Beat it senseless, and then tell your wife you need a new one.

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Q: Whats the difference between a guitar and a piece of ham? A: You can eat a piece of ham.

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How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

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69

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How do you make a baby spin? Put it in a blender and turn it on.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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