What's worse than your mom finding out she has AIDS? After she found out she had AIDS she stormed out of the hospital and got run over by a bus.

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin says "oh my god were going to die!" The other says "Holy shit a talking muffin!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know your mother is a skank.

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What do you do when a elephant is sitting on your fence? You hit it with a fridge

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Society.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dog, which also fell out of the tree.

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why did the lady take anti depressants? because she was depressed

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A baby seal walked into a club.

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Hide him under your coat.

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Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

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roses are grey violets are grey im colorblind but your face is still black!!!

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400 asian people walked in a bar

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Whats worse than dying? Nothing, really.

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Where was Sally when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing. Muffins are incapable of speaking.

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what do you get when you combine fire and water? alcohol

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How do you make a baby spin? Put it in a blender and turn it on.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? *cause 7 8 9? NO cause 7 was a nigga!

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What do you call a man who writes anti-jokes? Rhys, because that is my name. thank you

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What did the man say to his wife? We are both men. Apart from you.

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Why did the people thumbs-up the anti-joke? Because I threatened them with A GUN

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Who has the biggest cock A rooster

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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