Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know your mother is a skank.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

When there's something weird in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The police.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Society.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

A man walks out of a bar followed by the people he came with because they just announced "last call". The man is the designated driver for the night.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

I've got a fever and the only cure is ibuprofen.

thumb_up thumb_down -165

Why did Jake not get on the bus? Answer: Because Jake is a dog. Dogs are not allowed on the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +224

An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

whats red and can fall on you blood from a hunted duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

thumb_up thumb_down +34

The man who killed hitler must have ben a swell dude a.w. j.p.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Where was Sally when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

April showers bring may flowers, may flowers bring pilgrims, pilgrims bring diseases, diseases bring death, death brings... Well it's just death.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being shot repeatedly in the chest.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Doctor, people always laught at me at work! :( What do you do for a living? I am a comedian...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than death? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

"Ask me if I am a Lemon?" "Are you a Lemon?" "Yes, ask me if I'm an Orange" "No, I'm a Lemon."

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between an elephant and I?Our mass.

thumb_up thumb_down

Three men sit at a bar. A clown walks in, so the first man says, "Oh, what fresh hell is this?", gets up and leaves. Then a fairy flies in, so the second man says, "Aw, hell no!", gets up and leaves. So the third man was alone with the fairy and clown.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

If a rooster lays a brown egg on the south side of an Asian man's roof, which way would I turn at the intersection? Folderol, because laundry has no soul.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call children with no arms or legs ...their names

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats worse than the holucaust.......... Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats even funnier than watching two black guys with guns attempting to shoot people Just about everything

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops