How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Hide him under your coat.

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Q: What do you call a black pilot? A: A pilot, you racist

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What's black, white and red all over? A zebra carcass

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing. Muffins are incapable of speaking.

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69

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Jews...

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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Who has the biggest cock A rooster

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I was in the middle of downloading a porno of two hot girls getting it on, my computer got a virus and crashed.

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Roses are red Violets are blue But this is Italy So let me fuck you

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The King stands next to a pole. The King goes away, the pole stays there.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dog, which also fell out of the tree.

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knock knock who's there? roses are red, violets are blue, i shit in a bag and now its in flames on your porch

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Why did the moron jump through the window?

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roses are grey violets are grey im colorblind but your face is still black!!!

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Somewhere, sometime in the world a man leads his country prominently in an era of change. He makes beautiful and strong speeches to his people. He also kills millions of Jewish people. No seriously, he kills millions of people it's great.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

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Why doesn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead

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What is the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first one to walk on the moon... and Michael Jackson molested little children.

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How many Polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? My dad is dead.

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A teenage girl walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic drink. The bartender declines the order as she is under the legal age of purchasing and consuming alcohol.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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