What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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This is a racist joke but who cares!? What is the difference between a black guy and a bag of shit? The bag I apologize to all my fellow black friends. -Lets go MEts

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How many Polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? My dad is dead.

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What did the headless man say? Nothing. The man can't speak because he doesn't have a head.

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I've got a fever and the only cure is ibuprofen.

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An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

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whats red and can fall on you blood from a hunted duck.

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Friends are like snow: If you piss on them, they disappear.

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Where was Sally when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

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What is green and invisible? This cabbage.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being shot repeatedly in the chest.

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What's worse than death? Nothing.

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Bryce Harlan and I are close friends Love, Pete K

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what do you do when a baby screams? shake it.

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What do you call an Indian cook, that cooks in a Chinese restaurant? A chef

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What did santa say to the little girl on Christmas Eve? Santa isn't real, but pedophiles are.

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If a rooster lays a brown egg on the south side of an Asian man's roof, which way would I turn at the intersection? Folderol, because laundry has no soul.

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Whats worse than the holucaust.......... Nothing

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Q. Why can’t a teacher lift weights? A. Because, most teachers are women and most women do not enjoy It.

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What did the man say to his wife? We are both men. Apart from you.

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What did I write on this website? This antijoke.

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A: Knock Knock. B:Who's there? A: The IRS and Child Protective Services

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Roses Are Red Violets are blue A face like yours belong in a zoo Don't worry ill be there too Not in the cage but laughing at you

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roses are grey violets are grey im colorblind but your face is still black!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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