Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

I don't know what I've been told I'm a refrigerator

Roses are red Violets are blue But this is Italy So let me fuck you

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

Knock knock ... KNOCK KNOCK ... I guess nobody's home.

Bob fell off his roof.

The man who killed hitler must have ben a swell dude a.w. j.p.

I believe that as long as we do not change, as we decide to believe in ourselves and use our strength and potential, all that is left, is to see which side fate favors. Maybe we are meant to survive trough our strength and belief in ourselves and each other, or maybe we are, or will eventually end up as the last people of our kind, and fade away from life, proving that those that trust in the corrupt, where better than us. Suddenly I feel so alone.

Have you ever seen that clown at walmart that hides from gay people?

Q: Whats the difference between a guitar and a piece of ham? A: You can eat a piece of ham.

Why I the kid still at school? His mom was brutally run over by a car

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

A sheep walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

why did the girl cross the road ? to get run over by a flee of running cows

Why was 6 afraid of 7? *cause 7 8 9? NO cause 7 was a nigga!

What did Darth Vader say when he spilled his drink? Darth Vader is a fictional character and is not a part of humanity.

Why did the black man rob a KFC? He was in a very difficult financial situation and was worried his kids would go homeless. After scouting various locations he found the security at a nearby KFC was non-existent.

Knock knock Who's There? (It was a ding dong ditch. Or a knock knock ditch. What ever.)

What do you do when a elephant is sitting on your fence? You hit it with a fridge

How many rednecks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three.

What is funnier than this joke? Jokes with higher ratings.

I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis.

Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Yeah neither did she.

An elephant and a llama walk into a bar. Realizing that they must have broken out of the local zoo, all of the people run out of the bar screaming.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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