What's worse than listening to Justin Beiber? Getting hit by a train.

An Asian child flunks a test.

Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? There is no Santa Claus.

A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

A mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The chauffer, they are both rich business men.

A black man and a Mexican fall off a cliff, who dies first? They both die from hitting sharp rocks at the bottom crushing their skulls, so it doesn't matter its just really sad.

Q: why can't dinosaurs sing? A: because they're dead!!!

What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get on his birthday? Cancer.

Whats the difference between a ham sandwich and a dead baby sandwich? I don't stomp on my ham sadnwiches with cleats before I eat them.

What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? If you eat a Jew, you're deemed a cannibal and are frowned upon by the majority of society.

Why were the floors of the movie theaters so sticky? Spilled beverages.

Ask me if I am a cat. Are you a cat? No, what kind of stupid question is that?

A man walking on a beach looks into the surf and sees a beautiful oil lamp floating to shore. Wondering who in the heck uses oil lamps anymore, he picks it up, sees a bit of crust on the side, and rubs it clean. Just then a burst of smoke comes out of the lamp, and a genie floats out and stands before the man. "Oh master, thank you for releasing me from the lamp. In thanks, I grant to you one wish. Anything you ask for, it will be true," said the genie. "One wish? What happened to three," asked the man. "Dude, don't push it. We're in a recession. So what's your wish?" "OK. OK. I ... I... I WISH I WAS RICH!" screamed the man. The genie folded his arms, blinked twice, scratched his nose, nodded his head, and spun in a circle twice. "And it is SO!" he cried out. The man looked at himself, looked at the genie, but nothing seemed to have changed. "WTF, genie. Am I rich?" The genie replied, "Well no. You said, 'I wish I was rich.' I made you rich... ten years ago. You were rich. Now you're not. You used the indicative mood 'was.' If you wanted it to become true now in the present, you should have used the subjunctive mood 'were.'"

what do you call a man in a hole Fill

Why does my ass hurt I played gmod with a blackpeople

What happened when the dinosaur walked out into the rain? He got wet.

There was a goat and it was eating McDonalds, I just farted and my nuts are itchy.

Why didn't Valerie go on over to Amy's house? Because she's dead.

Why did the chicken kill itself? To get to the other side.

Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

When there's something weird in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The police.

What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

Q: Why didn't the Government help the poor little boy? A: Because he was taking a test and that would be cheating.

There are two people in this world; people who finish their sentences and people who

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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