Why did the boy dress up as a zombie? Because it was Halloween.

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Q: Whats the difference between a guitar and a piece of ham? A: You can eat a piece of ham.

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Why Does God Hate Gays? He Doesent, God Does Not Exist.

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69

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Why did the disabled man fall of the swing, someone shot him.

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what do you do when a baby screams? shake it.

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Why are blondes stupid? They are not. Its just in America society has been given that impression through inaccurate and crude jokes.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? George. George Who? George Smith.

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Have you heard about the new German microwave? It's a great labour-saving appliance that cooks food much more quickly than a conventional oven

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Three men sit at a bar. A clown walks in, so the first man says, "Oh, what fresh hell is this?", gets up and leaves. Then a fairy flies in, so the second man says, "Aw, hell no!", gets up and leaves. So the third man was alone with the fairy and clown.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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"Ask me if I am a Lemon?" "Are you a Lemon?" "Yes, ask me if I'm an Orange" "No, I'm a Lemon."

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You copy and paster!

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Why did the chicken kill itself? To get to the other side.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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I was in the middle of downloading a porno of two hot girls getting it on, my computer got a virus and crashed.

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What did Batman say to his parents? Nothing. They're dead. Idiot.

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What is funnier than this joke? Jokes with higher ratings.

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when the doctor asked him why he was sad andreas replyd i have a small penis and drew and devin keep making me drop the soap

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A baby walks into a bar, the whole bar applaudes for the baby boy who just took his first steps.

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What do you call a black man that goes to college? A student..

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What did the senile man say to the kids on his lawn? Tree dance the gator thong for my nipples.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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