What did the little orphan boy get for Christmas? Nothing because he had died six months prior to Christmas due to the horrible living conditions of the orphanage.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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An Asian child flunks a test.

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? There is no Santa Claus.

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Why were the floors of the movie theaters so sticky? Spilled beverages.

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You should really respect vegetables more. They rock. They're all like... AAAHH!!!... and I'm all like... DUDE! THAT'S SO INCREDIBLY RANDOM!... and seriously, you should respect da veggies!

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whats black and looks like a bucket a black bucket

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Like CHUCK NORRIS, CHUCK NORRIS like You !

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what do you call a cow? A cow

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Did you hear about the speed reader on top of the Twin towers? 90 stories 5 seconds.

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What's the easiest way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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What did the Neo-Nazi say to the Jew? Hello.

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knock knock who's there? roses are red, violets are blue, i shit in a bag and now its in flames on your porch

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What do the Chinese call ping pong? Ping pong.

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What's worse than being a Packer Fan? Walking around with cheese on your hea... oh, wait....

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Knock-Knock who's there? Artichoke Artichoke who? Your friend Artie choked on a ham sandwich, and I'm sorry to inform you that he didn't survive.

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Justin Bieber walks into a Gay-Bar. He is then kindly escorted out because he is underage. Also, because the patrons gave him certain looks that brought concern to the heterosexual bartender.

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Two men walked into a bar. The third man ducked.

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Have you heard about the new German microwave? It's a great labour-saving appliance that cooks food much more quickly than a conventional oven

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Why did the girl die? She read Twililght

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69

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How do you make a baby spin? Put it in a blender and turn it on.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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