What did the blind boy get for christmas? harry potter transcribed in braille so he could enjoy such a magical world like the rest of us

thumb_up thumb_down +9

IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Where does a homeless person live? No where

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Wanna hear a joke? Womens' rights

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Who has the biggest cock A rooster

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -141

Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? There is no Santa Claus.

thumb_up thumb_down +74

What never seems to get old? AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Knock knock Who's there? The police. You are under arrest for sodomy.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Bob- yo mammas soo fat tha.. Joe- I know...

thumb_up thumb_down +50

How do you know that god was a male? You don't, that's why it's called faith.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did child's mom cry when he was born? The child had no head.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What does a turtle do on its back? NOTHING!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

LeBron James hits a game winning three with time running out in the Finals.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the cow jump over the moon? He cant jump over the moon due to low gravity

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why does Marcus keep playing dumb games instead of doing his goelogy. No one knows.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red Violets are blue I like pancakes Ouch! That hurt!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

An Irishman walked out of a bar. A Frenchman was polite. An Englishman had beautiful teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why didn't Joe have any friends? Because according to Thomas Hobbes man is anti-social by nature and therefore the only friends that he has are purely to reach his own ends and thus Joe cannot truly have friends in the sense that many use the word.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

How many rednecks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Whats the difference between a ham sandwich and a dead baby sandwich? I don't stomp on my ham sadnwiches with cleats before I eat them.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

What do old people really like? Anal sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

What happened when the chicken crossed the road? He was hit by a bus!

thumb_up thumb_down -74

I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops