Why do vampires suck the blood of their victims? Because blood is very nutritious and provides more iron for heamoglobin.

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A man walks into a bar and asks "Where is your bathroom?" He is directed towards the restroom, where he then covers himself in toilet paper and calls himself a moose.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Regardless of the number of dead babies present, painting a house will require at least one living baby.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. You are under arrest for sodomy.

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Why were the floors of the movie theaters so sticky? Spilled beverages.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Fags are gay.

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wat?

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A sheep walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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How do you make a plumber stop sagging? Tickle his crack

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Q: How does Lady Gaga like her meat? A: Exactly what her preference is.

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What is the difference between a joke, and an antijoke? A joke is actually funny.

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Justin Littleton's mom accidentally texting him about buying weed, and then offering to buy him ice cream to make up for it.

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An Asian child flunks a test.

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a cheetah? A fictional animal.

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What do the Chinese call ping pong? Ping pong.

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What's worse than being a Packer Fan? Walking around with cheese on your hea... oh, wait....

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Knock-Knock who's there? Artichoke Artichoke who? Your friend Artie choked on a ham sandwich, and I'm sorry to inform you that he didn't survive.

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Knock knock ... KNOCK KNOCK ... I guess nobody's home.

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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Why did the baker have brown hands: Because he was black

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whats black and looks like a bucket a black bucket

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Roberto: Did you watch that WNBA game tonight?!? Will: No Roberto: Me either

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will it be? Sarah Jessica Parker replies, i'll have 4 cosmopolitans for me and my friends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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