What did polyvore say to wanelo? Nothing They are apps

thumb_up thumb_down +170

when the doctor asked him why he was sad andreas replyd i have a small penis and drew and devin keep making me drop the soap

thumb_up thumb_down +144

What's better than ice cream? Anal sex

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobile? -Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roberto: Did you watch that WNBA game tonight?!? Will: No Roberto: Me either

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What's funny about prostitution? A: Nothing. It's a widely misunderstood profession.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between an elephant and I?Our mass.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man opens his refrigerator and takes out a can of soda. He returns back to his living area and continues watching television.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call an Arab flying a plane over New York? The Pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Wanna hear a joke? Womens' rights

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did Darth Vader say when he spilled his drink? Darth Vader is a fictional character and is not a part of humanity.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What is funnier than this joke? Jokes with higher ratings.

thumb_up thumb_down -134

Why was the black man eating a banana? Because bananas are an excellent source of potassium.

thumb_up thumb_down -196

A: Knock Knock. B:Who's there? A: The IRS and Child Protective Services

thumb_up thumb_down +77

What's the easiest way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

There are two people in this world; people who finish their sentences and people who

thumb_up thumb_down +63

What never seems to get old? AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What do you call a black man that goes to college? A student..

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What did the senile man say to the kids on his lawn? Tree dance the gator thong for my nipples.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

a black man and a squirrel get hit on two different roads what's the difference? well for starters theyre two different species. a squirrel is much smaller than a human and has his own mark on society. the man will be missed dearly by his family and if the impact with the car wasnt bad, he may have a chance to make it out alive at the hospital. the squirrel however is not so lucky. it will be left to die on the street or would have died on impact already with sadly no squirrel hospital to tend to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops