4 is half the number 8 is.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Shoes, socks, and mittens.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Everyone is amazed because he can now walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you kill a baby quickly? The better question is why kill a baby quickly?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why do priest touch children? They are sexually deprived and frustrated because their religion forbids them from having a normal sexual relationship with the opposite sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Why are so many children obese? Because they eat to much and they are not physically active enough

thumb_up thumb_down -131

when the doctor asked him why he was sad andreas replyd i have a small penis and drew and devin keep making me drop the soap

thumb_up thumb_down +144

A baby walks into a bar, the whole bar applaudes for the baby boy who just took his first steps.

thumb_up thumb_down +130

Three men walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it.

thumb_up thumb_down +104

What did the senile man say to the kids on his lawn? Tree dance the gator thong for my nipples.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

I believe that as long as we do not change, as we decide to believe in ourselves and use our strength and potential, all that is left, is to see which side fate favors. Maybe we are meant to survive trough our strength and belief in ourselves and each other, or maybe we are, or will eventually end up as the last people of our kind, and fade away from life, proving that those that trust in the corrupt, where better than us. Suddenly I feel so alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobile? -Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what did the dog do when he saw the flea?he ate it because he didn't know what would happen next

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between an elephant and I?Our mass.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why are blondes stupid? They are not. Its just in America society has been given that impression through inaccurate and crude jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What did William Wallace say to Beyonce after Taylor Swift's performance? A: Nothing, because William Wallace has been dead for some time now.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why I the kid still at school? His mom was brutally run over by a car

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you kill a 1000 Ethiopians? Throw a biscuit off a cliff. JimBoto

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops