A man walks into a bar and asks "Where is your bathroom?" He is directed towards the restroom, where he then covers himself in toilet paper and calls himself a moose.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Regardless of the number of dead babies present, painting a house will require at least one living baby.

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? There is no Santa Claus.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. You are under arrest for sodomy.

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What's worse than being a Packer Fan? Walking around with cheese on your hea... oh, wait....

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Yo mama is so fat!

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What's the square root of four? Two.

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What is green and invisible? This cabbage.

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What Happends When Sawdust Gets in your mouth You poop logs

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whats black and looks like a bucket a black bucket

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will it be? Sarah Jessica Parker replies, i'll have 4 cosmopolitans for me and my friends.

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Have you heard about the new German microwave? It's a great labour-saving appliance that cooks food much more quickly than a conventional oven

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Why did the cow jump over the moon? He cant jump over the moon due to low gravity

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Why did the girl die? She read Twililght

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Q) You know how I know your gay A) Cuz your gay

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How do you make a plumber stop sagging? Tickle his crack

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Why did the black man rob a KFC? He was in a very difficult financial situation and was worried his kids would go homeless. After scouting various locations he found the security at a nearby KFC was non-existent.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

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What do you call an arab with a shemagh on his head and a gun A man who is concerned for his wellbeing and family

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I enjoy the fact that the jokes I post that do not make me laugh, are the ones that get zero thumbs, while those that at least make me smile, get at least a couple, I admit thought that its hard to keep track with me, I type jokes so fast that they disappear in the back before people can thumb them... Have you heard... Of the dog that was barking up the wrong three? The three said: Damn dog! I am not a tree! The dog kept barking, as dogs do not speak. Moral: Numbers speak fluently in most languages though...

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Q: How does Lady Gaga like her meat? A: Exactly what her preference is.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a cheetah? A fictional animal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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