Get in the car.

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If a rooster lays a brown egg on the south side of an Asian man's roof, which way would I turn at the intersection? Folderol, because laundry has no soul.

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How many friends did Jeffery have? 0 because he ate them and put them in his fridge.

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What do you get when you sunflower? Vegan turtles.

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What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens' rights

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I don't know what I've been told I'm a refrigerator

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he happened to be walking in that general direction.

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Why was the black man eating a banana? Because bananas are an excellent source of potassium.

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A: Knock Knock. B:Who's there? A: The IRS and Child Protective Services

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What did the senile man say to the kids on his lawn? Tree dance the gator thong for my nipples.

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Why Does God Hate Gays? He Doesent, God Does Not Exist.

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Why did the disabled man fall of the swing, someone shot him.

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I'm tired of your blind jokes, I just don't see the humor in them........

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Q: What's funny about prostitution? A: Nothing. It's a widely misunderstood profession.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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A man opens his refrigerator and takes out a can of soda. He returns back to his living area and continues watching television.

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"Ask me if I am a Lemon?" "Are you a Lemon?" "Yes, ask me if I'm an Orange" "No, I'm a Lemon."

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There was a Mexican, a Chinese, and an American on a plane. The Mexican threw down a sack of beans, the Chinese threw down a sack of rice, and the American threw down a bomb. The plane landed. When the three passengers stepped out of the plane, they were hungry.

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What did Darth Vader say when he spilled his drink? Darth Vader is a fictional character and is not a part of humanity.

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Your mom's so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and foods with nutritional value!!!! Oh burn!!!!

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What do you call a blonde on the Moon? That depends on what her name is.

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Why didn't Joe have any friends? Because according to Thomas Hobbes man is anti-social by nature and therefore the only friends that he has are purely to reach his own ends and thus Joe cannot truly have friends in the sense that many use the word.

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Why did the one-legged chicken say déjà vu? It felt a strong sensation that the current event had been experienced in the past.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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