Why did the people thumbs-up the anti-joke? Because I threatened them with A GUN

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Why did the one-legged chicken say déjà vu? It felt a strong sensation that the current event had been experienced in the past.

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Whats the difference between a ham sandwich and a dead baby sandwich? I don't stomp on my ham sadnwiches with cleats before I eat them.

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Did you hear about the speed reader on top of the Twin towers? 90 stories 5 seconds.

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It was a stormy night and a stinking boy was running away from the co-op, he was clutching onto his pocket and constantly looked over his shoulder.... panting the boy reaches for a rusty door handle he opens the door quickly and shuts it behind him. "mam i got tea" said the boy "thanks david we will eat tonight for once" said a big chinned pharaoh.

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What is funnier than this joke? Jokes with higher ratings.

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What's the difference between dead babies and ferraris? I don't have 17 ferraris in my garage.

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

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An Asian child flunks a test.

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a cheetah? A fictional animal.

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You should periodically review the most up-to-date version of the Terms of Service. Oh you.

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What's better than ice cream? Anal sex

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The chicken hesitated to cross the road. It pondered endlessly on the ramifications of not crossing the road, the future jokes that would never have been made. So it crossed the road with no real purpose for others to come up with unique ideas. Just kidding there is no proof that chickens have ever existed. There is proof that Barack Obama is a woman, however.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms

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Why is your face? Because.

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Yo mama is so stupid, she has a sub-par intelligence quota.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Everyone is amazed because he can now walk.

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Why do priest touch children? They are sexually deprived and frustrated because their religion forbids them from having a normal sexual relationship with the opposite sex.

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Whats even funnier than watching two black guys with guns attempting to shoot people Just about everything

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Dislike if you shag sheep ;)

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An Irishman walked out of a bar. A Frenchman was polite. An Englishman had beautiful teeth.

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Why do vampires suck the blood of their victims? Because blood is very nutritious and provides more iron for heamoglobin.

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A man walks out of a bar followed by the people he came with because they just announced "last call". The man is the designated driver for the night.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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