What's the easiest way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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You should periodically review the most up-to-date version of the Terms of Service. Oh you.

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What did the redneck say to the Muslim? Nothing, he is too blinded by racial hatred and ignorance after terrorist attacks on the U.S to speak with him despite having common interests, such as baseball.

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What do the Chinese call ping pong? Ping pong.

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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What Happends When Sawdust Gets in your mouth You poop logs

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Why did the baker have brown hands: Because he was black

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A horse walks into a bar, it gets a concussion. -mattobrado

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Why doesn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart... but the very next day your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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Q: Whats the difference between a guitar and a piece of ham? A: You can eat a piece of ham.

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Like CHUCK NORRIS, CHUCK NORRIS like You !

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IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

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A sheep walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like pancakes Ouch! That hurt!

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What do you do when a elephant is sitting on your fence? You hit it with a fridge

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Who has the biggest cock A rooster

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A teenage girl walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic drink. The bartender declines the order as she is under the legal age of purchasing and consuming alcohol.

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That was SOOOOO funny that I laughed!!!!!

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Did you hear about the speed reader on top of the Twin towers? 90 stories 5 seconds.

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What did Batman say to his parents? Nothing. They're dead. Idiot.

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Why are so many children obese? Because they eat to much and they are not physically active enough

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Hide him under your coat.

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Two sausages were in a pan. One says "Wow it's hot in here!" the other says "OH MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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