An Irishman walked out of a bar. A Frenchman was polite. An Englishman had beautiful teeth.

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Why do vampires suck the blood of their victims? Because blood is very nutritious and provides more iron for heamoglobin.

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Why didn't Joe have any friends? Because according to Thomas Hobbes man is anti-social by nature and therefore the only friends that he has are purely to reach his own ends and thus Joe cannot truly have friends in the sense that many use the word.

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Those days where everything goes wrong, and you think to yourself "I just gotta do whats right here"... ...Sigh... 2. DO YOU KNOW WHY I HATE YOU SO MUCH? BECAUSE I HATE YOU! (Blame is on me, love and hate are not opposites, send me a copy of your book, and ill rip it out for you)

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What's the difference between dead babies and ferraris? I don't have 17 ferraris in my garage.

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An Asian child flunks a test.

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a cheetah? A fictional animal.

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An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

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What do the Chinese call ping pong? Ping pong.

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What's better than ice cream? Anal sex

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Why were the floors of the movie theaters so sticky? Spilled beverages.

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A woman's opinion

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What's worse than death? Nothing.

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69

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms

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Why do priest touch children? They are sexually deprived and frustrated because their religion forbids them from having a normal sexual relationship with the opposite sex.

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Your mom's so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and foods with nutritional value!!!! Oh burn!!!!

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When there's something weird in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The police.

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Why did the business man move to New York? Because he saw a potential business opportunity that could benefit him and his loving family.

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What is the difference between a joke, and an antijoke? A joke is actually funny.

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What did the headless man say? Nothing. The man can't speak because he doesn't have a head.

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An elephant and a llama walk into a bar. Realizing that they must have broken out of the local zoo, all of the people run out of the bar screaming.

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Q: What's funny about prostitution? A: Nothing. It's a widely misunderstood profession.

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Two men walked into a bar. The third man ducked.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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