I enjoy the fact that the jokes I post that do not make me laugh, are the ones that get zero thumbs, while those that at least make me smile, get at least a couple, I admit thought that its hard to keep track with me, I type jokes so fast that they disappear in the back before people can thumb them... Have you heard... Of the dog that was barking up the wrong three? The three said: Damn dog! I am not a tree! The dog kept barking, as dogs do not speak. Moral: Numbers speak fluently in most languages though...

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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What did Batman say to his parents? Nothing. They're dead. Idiot.

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Why are so many children obese? Because they eat to much and they are not physically active enough

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Q: What do you call a black pilot? A: A pilot, you racist

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Q: What did William Wallace say to Beyonce after Taylor Swift's performance? A: Nothing, because William Wallace has been dead for some time now.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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Why does Marcus keep playing dumb games instead of doing his goelogy. No one knows.

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What do you call children with no arms or legs ...their names

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had heard from a mutual friend that his ex-girlfriend, who he had recently broken up with, would be present at the same party and to avoid an awkward encounter he chose not to go.

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Knock-Knock. Who's there? The person knocking at your door.

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What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

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An Irishman walked out of a bar. A Frenchman was polite. An Englishman had beautiful teeth.

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Why am I losing my time writing this joke even knowing that I will get lots of thumbs down?

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I don't know what I've been told I'm a refrigerator

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What is funnier than this joke? Jokes with higher ratings.

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A man walks into a bar and asks "Where is your bathroom?" He is directed towards the restroom, where he then covers himself in toilet paper and calls himself a moose.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the farmer cross the road? To pick up the dead chicken

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What do Micheal Jackson and Niel Armstrong have in common? Armstrong did the earthwalk on the moon and Jackson F#$%ed little boys in the butt.

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A baby walks into a bar, the whole bar applaudes for the baby boy who just took his first steps.

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Mexicans are like waffles

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Friends are like snow: If you piss on them, they disappear.

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An elephant and a llama walk into a bar. Realizing that they must have broken out of the local zoo, all of the people run out of the bar screaming.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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