How do you make a plumber stop sagging? Tickle his crack

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It’s dead.

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I enjoy the fact that the jokes I post that do not make me laugh, are the ones that get zero thumbs, while those that at least make me smile, get at least a couple, I admit thought that its hard to keep track with me, I type jokes so fast that they disappear in the back before people can thumb them... Have you heard... Of the dog that was barking up the wrong three? The three said: Damn dog! I am not a tree! The dog kept barking, as dogs do not speak. Moral: Numbers speak fluently in most languages though...

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what would you do if Michael Jackson was drowning? he can't drown he's already dead

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What is funnier than this joke? Jokes with higher ratings.

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An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

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What do the Chinese call ping pong? Ping pong.

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What is 6 plus 9? 15.

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Why were the floors of the movie theaters so sticky? Spilled beverages.

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whats black and looks like a bucket a black bucket

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A man opens his refrigerator and takes out a can of soda. He returns back to his living area and continues watching television.

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How many rednecks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three.

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a cheetah? A fictional animal.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. You are under arrest for sodomy.

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Q: Why did the little girl upset? A: Because she was part of the human centipede

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What's the square root of four? Two.

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You should really respect vegetables more. They rock. They're all like... AAAHH!!!... and I'm all like... DUDE! THAT'S SO INCREDIBLY RANDOM!... and seriously, you should respect da veggies!

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Why did the cow jump over the moon? He cant jump over the moon due to low gravity

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Where does a homeless person live? No where

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? *cause 7 8 9? NO cause 7 was a nigga!

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*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

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What's wrong the a man who can't tell where he is, can't tell where he's going, and doesn't know how to use a map? Downs Syndrome

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Why did the business man move to New York? Because he saw a potential business opportunity that could benefit him and his loving family.

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What do you do when a elephant is sitting on your fence? You hit it with a fridge

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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