Yo mamma's so fat, she should try NutriSystem.

What never seems to get old? AIDS.

What did the senile man say to the kids on his lawn? Tree dance the gator thong for my nipples.

Q: What's funny about prostitution? A: Nothing. It's a widely misunderstood profession.

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will it be? Sarah Jessica Parker replies, i'll have 4 cosmopolitans for me and my friends.

A sheep walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

What's worse than the Broncos losing the Superbowl? Your iPhone not working anymore

Where does a homeless person live? No where

Why did the chicken kill itself? To get to the other side.

Why am I losing my time writing this joke even knowing that I will get lots of thumbs down?

What do you do when a elephant is sitting on your fence? You hit it with a fridge

What's the difference between a pizza and a black man A pizza can feed a family of four

Why did the one-legged chicken say déjà vu? It felt a strong sensation that the current event had been experienced in the past.

Did you hear about the speed reader on top of the Twin towers? 90 stories 5 seconds.

Q: Why didn't the Government help the poor little boy? A: Because he was taking a test and that would be cheating.

Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Yeah neither did she.

Knock-Knock who's there? Artichoke Artichoke who? Your friend Artie choked on a ham sandwich, and I'm sorry to inform you that he didn't survive.

Bob fell off his roof.

Whats funny about a car crash? If a bowl of soup is talking.

Penis.

Why did child's mom cry when he was born? The child had no head.

So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

Whats the easiest way to solve problems in Haiti? Nuke them.

The chicken hesitated to cross the road. It pondered endlessly on the ramifications of not crossing the road, the future jokes that would never have been made. So it crossed the road with no real purpose for others to come up with unique ideas. Just kidding there is no proof that chickens have ever existed. There is proof that Barack Obama is a woman, however.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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