Like CHUCK NORRIS, CHUCK NORRIS like You !

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IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

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a man walks out of his home and into a bar PLOT TWIST! he is a chicken

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Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

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Whats the difference between a ham sandwich and a dead baby sandwich? I don't stomp on my ham sadnwiches with cleats before I eat them.

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Why do I staple a mans mouth to his penis. Because I wanted to

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knock knock whose there?? seth oh, come in

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What's the easiest way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody, because first, pineapples are too small to fit in, and second, you would drown.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being shot repeatedly in the chest.

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why was the little girl afraid of the dark because she was brutally raped in the dark when she was 4.

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1,984

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A sheep walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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What's worse than death? Nothing.

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why didn't the drug addict take steroids? he was going to but died due to years of substance abuse

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Why did the man get off the bus? Penis

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How many Polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? My dad is dead.

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Where does a homeless person live? No where

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A lamp of light That shines so bright Except when it is night A glow up high You wonder why It moves across the sky. What am I? A blogger who posts jokes on AntiJoke.com.

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Why did the chicken kill itself? To get to the other side.

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Who has the biggest cock A rooster

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What do you call a blonde on the Moon? That depends on what her name is.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a black man A pizza can feed a family of four

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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