Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

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I was in the middle of downloading a porno of two hot girls getting it on, my computer got a virus and crashed.

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What is the difference between a joke, and an antijoke? A joke is actually funny.

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Why did the boy dress up as a zombie? Because it was Halloween.

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Where was Sally when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually 6 wasn't afraid of 7 because numbers have are not living things, therefore have no consciousness or emotions, meaning that numerical digits can not have a fear or be afraid of another number.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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4 is half the number 8 is.

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Q: What did William Wallace say to Beyonce after Taylor Swift's performance? A: Nothing, because William Wallace has been dead for some time now.

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Why does Marcus keep playing dumb games instead of doing his goelogy. No one knows.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? *cause 7 8 9? NO cause 7 was a nigga!

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How many Polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? My dad is dead.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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What do you do when a elephant is sitting on your fence? You hit it with a fridge

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the farmer cross the road? To pick up the dead chicken

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Three men walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it.

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Yo mamma's so fat, she should try NutriSystem.

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knock knock who's there? roses are red, violets are blue, i shit in a bag and now its in flames on your porch

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A baby seal walked into a club.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, shes already been told twice

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What's better than ice cream? Anal sex

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Hide him under your coat.

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Roberto: Did you watch that WNBA game tonight?!? Will: No Roberto: Me either

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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