If file gives you melons, you might be dyslexic

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Hide him under your coat.

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Q: What's funny about prostitution? A: Nothing. It's a widely misunderstood profession.

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Where does a homeless person live? No where

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Why did the chicken kill itself? To get to the other side.

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Rosa Parks is going to be here if she gets to the bus on time!

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Did you hear about the speed reader on top of the Twin towers? 90 stories 5 seconds.

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You should really respect vegetables more. They rock. They're all like... AAAHH!!!... and I'm all like... DUDE! THAT'S SO INCREDIBLY RANDOM!... and seriously, you should respect da veggies!

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why do priest touch children? They are sexually deprived and frustrated because their religion forbids them from having a normal sexual relationship with the opposite sex.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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What's wrong the a man who can't tell where he is, can't tell where he's going, and doesn't know how to use a map? Downs Syndrome

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Apple.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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An Asian child flunks a test.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer-pressure.

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why did the lady take anti depressants? because she was depressed

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Q: Why couldn't Katie ride a bike? A: Because she has leprosy.

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What's better than ice cream? Anal sex

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Whats worse than dying? Nothing, really.

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How do you know that god was a male? You don't, that's why it's called faith.

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Roberto: Did you watch that WNBA game tonight?!? Will: No Roberto: Me either

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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