What's the difference between dead babies and ferraris? I don't have 17 ferraris in my garage.

What's the easiest way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? There is no Santa Claus.

What do you call someone who can't move their arms or their legs A quadriplegic

Why were the floors of the movie theaters so sticky? Spilled beverages.

What is green and invisible? This cabbage.

Two sausages were in a pan. One says "Wow it's hot in here!" the other says "OH MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE"

whats black and looks like a bucket a black bucket

What Happends When Sawdust Gets in your mouth You poop logs

Roberto: Did you watch that WNBA game tonight?!? Will: No Roberto: Me either

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

Fags are gay.

Why did the girl die? She read Twililght

69

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The chicken hesitated to cross the road. It pondered endlessly on the ramifications of not crossing the road, the future jokes that would never have been made. So it crossed the road with no real purpose for others to come up with unique ideas. Just kidding there is no proof that chickens have ever existed. There is proof that Barack Obama is a woman, however.

Q) You know how I know your gay A) Cuz your gay

How do you make a plumber stop sagging? Tickle his crack

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had heard from a mutual friend that his ex-girlfriend, who he had recently broken up with, would be present at the same party and to avoid an awkward encounter he chose not to go.

Q: How does Lady Gaga like her meat? A: Exactly what her preference is.

What do you get when you cross a turtle and a cheetah? A fictional animal.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer-pressure.

why did the lady take anti depressants? because she was depressed

What do the Chinese call ping pong? Ping pong.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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