A: Knock Knock. B:Who's there? A: The IRS and Child Protective Services

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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knock knock who's there? roses are red, violets are blue, i shit in a bag and now its in flames on your porch

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Hide him under your coat.

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Whats worse than dying? Nothing, really.

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Why Does God Hate Gays? He Doesent, God Does Not Exist.

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how Sudan answered England when England's ambassador eaten by Sudanese people? Eat ours

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roses are red violets are blue your baby has down syndrome

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Three men sit at a bar. A clown walks in, so the first man says, "Oh, what fresh hell is this?", gets up and leaves. Then a fairy flies in, so the second man says, "Aw, hell no!", gets up and leaves. So the third man was alone with the fairy and clown.

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There was a Mexican, a Chinese, and an American on a plane. The Mexican threw down a sack of beans, the Chinese threw down a sack of rice, and the American threw down a bomb. The plane landed. When the three passengers stepped out of the plane, they were hungry.

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin says "oh my god were going to die!" The other says "Holy shit a talking muffin!"

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What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

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I enjoy the fact that the jokes I post that do not make me laugh, are the ones that get zero thumbs, while those that at least make me smile, get at least a couple, I admit thought that its hard to keep track with me, I type jokes so fast that they disappear in the back before people can thumb them... Have you heard... Of the dog that was barking up the wrong three? The three said: Damn dog! I am not a tree! The dog kept barking, as dogs do not speak. Moral: Numbers speak fluently in most languages though...

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Why did the people thumbs-up the anti-joke? Because I threatened them with A GUN

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How many rednecks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three.

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What is funnier than this joke? Jokes with higher ratings.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the farmer cross the road? To pick up the dead chicken

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Three men walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it.

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis.

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Yo mamma's so fat, she should try NutriSystem.

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What did the senile man say to the kids on his lawn? Tree dance the gator thong for my nipples.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? If you eat a Jew, you're deemed a cannibal and are frowned upon by the majority of society.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had an appointment with his hair stylist. Just kidding chicken don't have hair.

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Penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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