Why did Billy fall off the swings? Because he had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy.

What do you call an Arab flying a plane over New York? The Pilot.

Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

Who has the biggest cock A rooster

What did polyvore say to wanelo? Nothing They are apps

Three men walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it.

A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

What do you call a black man that goes to college? A student..

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, shes already been told twice

I believe that as long as we do not change, as we decide to believe in ourselves and use our strength and potential, all that is left, is to see which side fate favors. Maybe we are meant to survive trough our strength and belief in ourselves and each other, or maybe we are, or will eventually end up as the last people of our kind, and fade away from life, proving that those that trust in the corrupt, where better than us. Suddenly I feel so alone.

What did Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobile? -Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile!

69

How do you make a baby spin? Put it in a blender and turn it on.

JUSTIN BIEBER IS A FAG

You copy and paster!

What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

Paige

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know your mother is a skank.

Roses are red Violets are blue My dad drinks a lot Help Me

What do you do when a elephant is sitting on your fence? You hit it with a fridge

Society.

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he happened to be walking in that general direction.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dog, which also fell out of the tree.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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