Q: How does Lady Gaga like her meat? A: Exactly what her preference is.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a cheetah? A fictional animal.

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What do the Chinese call ping pong? Ping pong.

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Q: Why couldn't Katie ride a bike? A: Because she has leprosy.

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Knock-Knock who's there? Artichoke Artichoke who? Your friend Artie choked on a ham sandwich, and I'm sorry to inform you that he didn't survive.

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Hide him under your coat.

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Why were the floors of the movie theaters so sticky? Spilled beverages.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens' rights

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had heard from a mutual friend that his ex-girlfriend, who he had recently broken up with, would be present at the same party and to avoid an awkward encounter he chose not to go.

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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A teenage girl walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic drink. The bartender declines the order as she is under the legal age of purchasing and consuming alcohol.

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Roses Are Red Violets are blue A face like yours belong in a zoo Don't worry ill be there too Not in the cage but laughing at you

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Two sausages were in a pan. One says "Wow it's hot in here!" the other says "OH MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE"

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Roberto: Did you watch that WNBA game tonight?!? Will: No Roberto: Me either

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Q: What's funny about prostitution? A: Nothing. It's a widely misunderstood profession.

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Fags are gay.

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what do you call a man in a hole Fill

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The chicken hesitated to cross the road. It pondered endlessly on the ramifications of not crossing the road, the future jokes that would never have been made. So it crossed the road with no real purpose for others to come up with unique ideas. Just kidding there is no proof that chickens have ever existed. There is proof that Barack Obama is a woman, however.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

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What happened to the chicken crossing the road? She found a male chicken, had many babies and lived happily forever after.

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A priest, a nun, and a rabbi walk into a bar. There's a massive earthquake and the bar collapses to the ground, killing everyone inside.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops