Whats the difference between a ham sandwich and a dead baby sandwich? I don't stomp on my ham sadnwiches with cleats before I eat them.

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What is the difference between a joke, and an antijoke? A joke is actually funny.

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What is funnier than this joke? Jokes with higher ratings.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the farmer cross the road? To pick up the dead chicken

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a cheetah? A fictional animal.

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An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

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why did the lady take anti depressants? because she was depressed

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An elephant and a llama walk into a bar. Realizing that they must have broken out of the local zoo, all of the people run out of the bar screaming.

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I believe that as long as we do not change, as we decide to believe in ourselves and use our strength and potential, all that is left, is to see which side fate favors. Maybe we are meant to survive trough our strength and belief in ourselves and each other, or maybe we are, or will eventually end up as the last people of our kind, and fade away from life, proving that those that trust in the corrupt, where better than us. Suddenly I feel so alone.

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What is green and invisible? This cabbage.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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Why doesn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead

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How do you make a baby spin? Put it in a blender and turn it on.

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Why did the feminist cross the road? To suck a penis

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When there's something weird in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The police.

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Why didn't Joe have any friends? Because according to Thomas Hobbes man is anti-social by nature and therefore the only friends that he has are purely to reach his own ends and thus Joe cannot truly have friends in the sense that many use the word.

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A man walks out of a bar followed by the people he came with because they just announced "last call". The man is the designated driver for the night.

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What did the headless man say? Nothing. The man can't speak because he doesn't have a head.

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What is 6 plus 9? 15.

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Mexicans are like waffles

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Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

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Roberto: Did you watch that WNBA game tonight?!? Will: No Roberto: Me either

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually 6 wasn't afraid of 7 because numbers have are not living things, therefore have no consciousness or emotions, meaning that numerical digits can not have a fear or be afraid of another number.

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Why did the cow jump over the moon? He cant jump over the moon due to low gravity

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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