Bob fell off his roof.

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Penis.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Jehovah's Witnesses.

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what do you do when a baby screams? shake it.

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What's worse than repeating holocaust jokes? Repeating the holocaust.

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4 is half the number 8 is.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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Jews...

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Everyone is amazed because he can now walk.

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Why do priest touch children? They are sexually deprived and frustrated because their religion forbids them from having a normal sexual relationship with the opposite sex.

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What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

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Why didn't Joe have any friends? Because according to Thomas Hobbes man is anti-social by nature and therefore the only friends that he has are purely to reach his own ends and thus Joe cannot truly have friends in the sense that many use the word.

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A: Knock Knock. B:Who's there? A: The IRS and Child Protective Services

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What did the Neo-Nazi say to the Jew? Hello.

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Why Does God Hate Gays? He Doesent, God Does Not Exist.

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Izzy and Zayn Malick got married. Then Zayn asked for a divorce due to their age difference..

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69

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What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

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Why I the kid still at school? His mom was brutally run over by a car

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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How do you make a baby spin? Put it in a blender and turn it on.

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How many friends did Jeffery have? 0 because he ate them and put them in his fridge.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? *cause 7 8 9? NO cause 7 was a nigga!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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