What's the square root of four? Two.

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How many black people does it take to change a light bulb. One, of course. Assuming he/she does not have any physical or mental handicaps.

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What did Batman say to his parents? Nothing. They're dead. Idiot.

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What did the senile man say to the kids on his lawn? Tree dance the gator thong for my nipples.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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April showers bring may flowers, may flowers bring pilgrims, pilgrims bring diseases, diseases bring death, death brings... Well it's just death.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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Friends are like snow: If you piss on them, they disappear.

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A black walks into a Kentucky Fried Chicken. He was a customer.

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Izzy and Zayn Malick got married. Then Zayn asked for a divorce due to their age difference..

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart... but the very next day your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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What did the man say to his wife? We are both men. Apart from you.

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Knock knock Who's There? (It was a ding dong ditch. Or a knock knock ditch. What ever.)

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What is Michael Bay's favorite fruit? Melon

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What's the difference between a pizza and a black man A pizza can feed a family of four

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Yo mama so fat, she was accepted to a clinical trial for treatment of morbid obesity in middle-aged women.

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What do you call a black man in space? an astronaut

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What do the pope and an orange have in common? They're both fruits. Except for the pope.

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Roses are green Violets are yellow I have an optical disorder

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So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

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You should really respect vegetables more. They rock. They're all like... AAAHH!!!... and I'm all like... DUDE! THAT'S SO INCREDIBLY RANDOM!... and seriously, you should respect da veggies!

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Jehovah's Witnesses.

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Get in the car.

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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