Where does a homeless person live? No where

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A priest, a nun, and a rabbi walk into a bar. There's a massive earthquake and the bar collapses to the ground, killing everyone inside.

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Q. Why can’t a teacher lift weights? A. Because, most teachers are women and most women do not enjoy It.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

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Why did the black man rob a KFC? He was in a very difficult financial situation and was worried his kids would go homeless. After scouting various locations he found the security at a nearby KFC was non-existent.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Your friend is so blonde that when she was born she had no hair but overtime it grew out and became blonde.

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If file gives you melons, you might be dyslexic

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Q: Why did the little girl upset? A: Because she was part of the human centipede

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How do you know that god was a male? You don't, that's why it's called faith.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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Why did the chicken kill itself? To get to the other side.

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How do you make a plumber stop sagging? Tickle his crack

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Rosa Parks is going to be here if she gets to the bus on time!

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Whats even funnier than watching two black guys with guns attempting to shoot people Just about everything

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Dislike if you shag sheep ;)

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Society.

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A man walks out of a bar followed by the people he came with because they just announced "last call". The man is the designated driver for the night.

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I don't know what I've been told I'm a refrigerator

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Yo mamma's so fat, she should try NutriSystem.

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Q: Why couldn't Katie ride a bike? A: Because she has leprosy.

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Jehovah's Witnesses.

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You should really respect vegetables more. They rock. They're all like... AAAHH!!!... and I'm all like... DUDE! THAT'S SO INCREDIBLY RANDOM!... and seriously, you should respect da veggies!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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