Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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What do you call children with no arms or legs ...their names

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Everyone is amazed because he can now walk.

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Why did the chicken kill itself? To get to the other side.

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What did Batman say to his parents? Nothing. They're dead. Idiot.

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What do Micheal Jackson and Niel Armstrong have in common? Armstrong did the earthwalk on the moon and Jackson F#$%ed little boys in the butt.

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A: Knock Knock. B:Who's there? A: The IRS and Child Protective Services

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Mexicans are like waffles

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whats red and can fall on you blood from a hunted duck.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobile? -Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile!

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Yo mama is so fat!

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Penis.

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Joe Paterno dosn't walk into a police station.-South Park

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Q: Whats the difference between a guitar and a piece of ham? A: You can eat a piece of ham.

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69

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What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

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what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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How many friends did Jeffery have? 0 because he ate them and put them in his fridge.

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Knock-Knock. Who's there? The person knocking at your door.

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What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

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Paige

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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Roses are red Violets are blue My dad drinks a lot Help Me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops