Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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Why did the black man rob a KFC? He was in a very difficult financial situation and was worried his kids would go homeless. After scouting various locations he found the security at a nearby KFC was non-existent.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

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What do you call an arab with a shemagh on his head and a gun A man who is concerned for his wellbeing and family

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How many rednecks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Regardless of the number of dead babies present, painting a house will require at least one living baby.

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What's the difference between dead babies and ferraris? I don't have 17 ferraris in my garage.

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An Asian child flunks a test.

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why did the lady take anti depressants? because she was depressed

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What do the Chinese call ping pong? Ping pong.

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The man who killed hitler must have ben a swell dude a.w. j.p.

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Two sausages were in a pan. One says "Wow it's hot in here!" the other says "OH MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE"

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A man opens his refrigerator and takes out a can of soda. He returns back to his living area and continues watching television.

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Q: What do you call a guy that likes men? A: Gay.

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How many friends did Jeffery have? 0 because he ate them and put them in his fridge.

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What happened to the chicken crossing the road? She found a male chicken, had many babies and lived happily forever after.

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what would you do if Michael Jackson was drowning? he can't drown he's already dead

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What's the difference between a pizza and a black man A pizza can feed a family of four

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Why did the woman fall over? Because she had both of her arms amputated so when she lost her balance she had nothing to counter her weight going forward with an inverse motion.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer-pressure.

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Yo mamma's so fat, she should try NutriSystem.

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What's worse than being a Packer Fan? Walking around with cheese on your hea... oh, wait....

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Q: Why couldn't Katie ride a bike? A: Because she has leprosy.

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What is green and invisible? This cabbage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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