A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will it be? Sarah Jessica Parker replies, i'll have 4 cosmopolitans for me and my friends.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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what do you call a cow? A cow

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Why did the girl die? She read Twililght

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The chicken hesitated to cross the road. It pondered endlessly on the ramifications of not crossing the road, the future jokes that would never have been made. So it crossed the road with no real purpose for others to come up with unique ideas. Just kidding there is no proof that chickens have ever existed. There is proof that Barack Obama is a woman, however.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

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Me:I talk to myself to much. Me:Same

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Yo mama is so stupid, she has a sub-par intelligence quota.

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my president is black, my lambo's blue, $14,400,000,000,000 national debt

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what would you do if Michael Jackson was drowning? he can't drown he's already dead

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Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

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What do old people really like? Anal sex.

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Did you hear about the speed reader on top of the Twin towers? 90 stories 5 seconds.

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Q: Why didn't the Government help the poor little boy? A: Because he was taking a test and that would be cheating.

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A man walks into a bar and asks "Where is your bathroom?" He is directed towards the restroom, where he then covers himself in toilet paper and calls himself a moose.

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What's the difference between dead babies and ferraris? I don't have 17 ferraris in my garage.

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a cheetah? A fictional animal.

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What's the easiest way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? There is no Santa Claus.

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Q: Why couldn't Katie ride a bike? A: Because she has leprosy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had an appointment with his hair stylist. Just kidding chicken don't have hair.

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What do you call someone who can't move their arms or their legs A quadriplegic

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Why were the floors of the movie theaters so sticky? Spilled beverages.

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What is green and invisible? This cabbage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops