Why did the cow jump over the moon? He cant jump over the moon due to low gravity

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69

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How do you make a plumber stop sagging? Tickle his crack

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*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

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What do you call an arab with a shemagh on his head and a gun A man who is concerned for his wellbeing and family

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What did the Neo-Nazi say to the Jew? Hello.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. You are under arrest for sodomy.

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You should periodically review the most up-to-date version of the Terms of Service. Oh you.

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What do the Chinese call ping pong? Ping pong.

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What's green and fuzzy and would hurt a lot if it fell out of a tree and hit you? A pool table

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Knock-Knock who's there? Artichoke Artichoke who? Your friend Artie choked on a ham sandwich, and I'm sorry to inform you that he didn't survive.

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Yo mama is so fat!

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What do you call someone who can't move their arms or their legs A quadriplegic

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Two sausages were in a pan. One says "Wow it's hot in here!" the other says "OH MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE"

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What Happends When Sawdust Gets in your mouth You poop logs

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will it be? Sarah Jessica Parker replies, i'll have 4 cosmopolitans for me and my friends.

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Why did the girl die? She read Twililght

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The chicken hesitated to cross the road. It pondered endlessly on the ramifications of not crossing the road, the future jokes that would never have been made. So it crossed the road with no real purpose for others to come up with unique ideas. Just kidding there is no proof that chickens have ever existed. There is proof that Barack Obama is a woman, however.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

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Me:I talk to myself to much. Me:Same

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my president is black, my lambo's blue, $14,400,000,000,000 national debt

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what would you do if Michael Jackson was drowning? he can't drown he's already dead

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Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

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What do old people really like? Anal sex.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops