Three men walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it.

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An Asian child flunks a test.

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a cheetah? A fictional animal.

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why did the lady take anti depressants? because she was depressed

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Friends are like snow: If you piss on them, they disappear.

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I believe that as long as we do not change, as we decide to believe in ourselves and use our strength and potential, all that is left, is to see which side fate favors. Maybe we are meant to survive trough our strength and belief in ourselves and each other, or maybe we are, or will eventually end up as the last people of our kind, and fade away from life, proving that those that trust in the corrupt, where better than us. Suddenly I feel so alone.

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Why did the boy dress up as a zombie? Because it was Halloween.

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Roberto: Did you watch that WNBA game tonight?!? Will: No Roberto: Me either

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Why did the cow jump over the moon? He cant jump over the moon due to low gravity

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Why doesn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead

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Get in the car.

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"Ask me if I am a Lemon?" "Are you a Lemon?" "Yes, ask me if I'm an Orange" "No, I'm a Lemon."

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Why is your face? Because.

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin says "oh my god were going to die!" The other says "Holy shit a talking muffin!"

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*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

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Q. Why can’t a teacher lift weights? A. Because, most teachers are women and most women do not enjoy It.

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What's wrong the a man who can't tell where he is, can't tell where he's going, and doesn't know how to use a map? Downs Syndrome

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What did the man say to his wife? We are both men. Apart from you.

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Society.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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whats red and can fall on you blood from a hunted duck.

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Knock-Knock who's there? Artichoke Artichoke who? Your friend Artie choked on a ham sandwich, and I'm sorry to inform you that he didn't survive.

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Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

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Bob fell off his roof.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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