69

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Izzy and Zayn Malick got married. Then Zayn asked for a divorce due to their age difference..

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what do you do when a baby screams? shake it.

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4 is half the number 8 is.

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Jews...

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? *cause 7 8 9? NO cause 7 was a nigga!

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Why didn't Joe have any friends? Because according to Thomas Hobbes man is anti-social by nature and therefore the only friends that he has are purely to reach his own ends and thus Joe cannot truly have friends in the sense that many use the word.

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What is funnier than this joke? Jokes with higher ratings.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the farmer cross the road? To pick up the dead chicken

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Q: Whats worse than the death of flappy bird? A: The holocaust.

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What did the Neo-Nazi say to the Jew? Hello.

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A baby seal walked into a club.

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What did the senile man say to the kids on his lawn? Tree dance the gator thong for my nipples.

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Two sausages were in a pan. One says "Wow it's hot in here!" the other says "OH MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE"

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will it be? Sarah Jessica Parker replies, i'll have 4 cosmopolitans for me and my friends.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually 6 wasn't afraid of 7 because numbers have are not living things, therefore have no consciousness or emotions, meaning that numerical digits can not have a fear or be afraid of another number.

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What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

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What's the difference between an elephant and I?Our mass.

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How do you make a baby spin? Put it in a blender and turn it on.

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A teenage girl walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic drink. The bartender declines the order as she is under the legal age of purchasing and consuming alcohol.

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Roses are red Violets are blue My dad drinks a lot Help Me

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Why am I losing my time writing this joke even knowing that I will get lots of thumbs down?

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Who has the biggest cock A rooster

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How many rednecks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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