Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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A baby walks into a bar, the whole bar applaudes for the baby boy who just took his first steps.

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why did the lady take anti depressants? because she was depressed

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Hide him under your coat.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobile? -Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile!

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roses are grey violets are grey im colorblind but your face is still black!!!

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Whats worse than dying? Nothing, really.

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Where was Sally when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

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Somewhere, sometime in the world a man leads his country prominently in an era of change. He makes beautiful and strong speeches to his people. He also kills millions of Jewish people. No seriously, he kills millions of people it's great.

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Whats green has four legs and would kill you if it fell from a tree. Pool Table.....

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What's the difference between an elephant and I?Our mass.

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What is the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first one to walk on the moon... and Michael Jackson molested little children.

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Have you heard about the new German microwave? It's a great labour-saving appliance that cooks food much more quickly than a conventional oven

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A man opens his refrigerator and takes out a can of soda. He returns back to his living area and continues watching television.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? *cause 7 8 9? NO cause 7 was a nigga!

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin says "oh my god were going to die!" The other says "Holy shit a talking muffin!"

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What did the man say to his wife? We are both men. Apart from you.

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Why did the people thumbs-up the anti-joke? Because I threatened them with A GUN

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Who has the biggest cock A rooster

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knock knock who's there? bell bell who? bellend

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station..

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A: Knock Knock. B:Who's there? A: The IRS and Child Protective Services

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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