What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, shes already been told twice

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Do you know what does Wikipedia says about Elton John ? It says that Sir Elton Hercules John, CBE (born Reginald Kenneth Dwight; 25 March 1947) is an English singer-songwriter, composer and pianist. He has worked with his songwriting partner Bernie Taupin since 1967; they have collaborated on more than 30 albums to date.

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I'm tired of your blind jokes, I just don't see the humor in them........

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Q: What did William Wallace say to Beyonce after Taylor Swift's performance? A: Nothing, because William Wallace has been dead for some time now.

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4 is half the number 8 is.

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A man opens his refrigerator and takes out a can of soda. He returns back to his living area and continues watching television.

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JUSTIN BIEBER IS A FAG

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What do you get when you sunflower? Vegan turtles.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? *cause 7 8 9? NO cause 7 was a nigga!

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens' rights

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What did the man say to his wife? We are both men. Apart from you.

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Roses are red Violets are blue My dad drinks a lot Help Me

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Why do vampires suck the blood of their victims? Because blood is very nutritious and provides more iron for heamoglobin.

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Why are so many children obese? Because they eat to much and they are not physically active enough

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the farmer cross the road? To pick up the dead chicken

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What do you call an owl that is a magician too? Owls cannot be magician you retard.

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A baby walks into a bar, the whole bar applaudes for the baby boy who just took his first steps.

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Three men walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it.

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Friends are like snow: If you piss on them, they disappear.

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What do call a black piano player? A pianist.

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I believe that as long as we do not change, as we decide to believe in ourselves and use our strength and potential, all that is left, is to see which side fate favors. Maybe we are meant to survive trough our strength and belief in ourselves and each other, or maybe we are, or will eventually end up as the last people of our kind, and fade away from life, proving that those that trust in the corrupt, where better than us. Suddenly I feel so alone.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobile? -Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile!

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Why doesn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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