A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What's the difference between an elephant and I?Our mass.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No, he hasn't either

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Roses are red Violets are blue My dad drinks a lot Help Me

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

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You're a wizard Harry! I am?

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What kind of "room" can you not enter? One with a locked door.

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An irish man calls a black man a nigger. The offended black man then proceeds to ravenously beat the Irish man's head into a nearby curb.

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69

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How do you keep a black guy out of your backyard? You tell him "STAY OUT"

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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How do you get rid of a stalker? You throw a fridge at them!

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Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

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Roses are red Violets are blue But this is Italy So let me fuck you

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What do you call an owl that is a magician too? Owls cannot be magician you retard.

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whats long black, eight inches and sometimes has white on the tips of them? a black mans foot the wears an eight inch shoe.

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How many hamburgers can a grizzly bear eat? Maybe 6.

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What's worse than ten dead babies? Not much.

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What's black, white and red all over? A zebra carcass

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What do you call an Indian cook, that cooks in a Chinese restaurant? A chef

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April showers bring may flowers, may flowers bring pilgrims, pilgrims bring diseases, diseases bring death, death brings... Well it's just death.

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Why did the baker have brown hands: Because he was black

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What does the cup-cake say to the cake? Do you want a cup in your cake to make it cup-cake?

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing. Muffins are incapable of speaking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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