Roses are red violets are blue I hate rhyming pancakes

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When's the best time to go to the dentist? When you have an appointment.

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What's black and hangs from trees? tires ...and black people

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How do you keep a black guy out of your backyard? You tell him "STAY OUT"

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Somewhere, sometime in the world a man leads his country prominently in an era of change. He makes beautiful and strong speeches to his people. He also kills millions of Jewish people. No seriously, he kills millions of people it's great.

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Why did Nigel decide to lie and remain on the ground? He didn't. Somebody beat him ruthlessly and stole his wheelchair. Nigel has no legs by the way.

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What smells like shit and is covered in cheese? Sean's pizza socks.

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2 polar bears are standing on a chunk of ice that is floating in the Arctic Sea. One turns to the other and says, 'Dyu know; I keep thinking it's Thursday...'

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Q: What do you call a black pilot? A: A pilot, you racist

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What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

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What did santa say to the little girl on Christmas Eve? Santa isn't real, but pedophiles are.

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How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing. Muffins are incapable of speaking.

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A black man walked into a bar. Had a drink, and left.

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A lamp of light That shines so bright Except when it is night A glow up high You wonder why It moves across the sky. What am I? A blogger who posts jokes on AntiJoke.com.

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A teenage girl walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic drink. The bartender declines the order as she is under the legal age of purchasing and consuming alcohol.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

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What do you do when a elephant is sitting on your fence? You hit it with a fridge

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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You're a wizard Harry! I am?

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Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

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My Friday was going great until i realized it's Thursday...

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Moves Like AJgger- Marron 5

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how many jews can you fit in an oven? -well zero because the conventional oven cannot fit a full sized human

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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