Surprise mother father (A+)

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud.

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What's green and fuzzy and would hurt a lot if it fell out of a tree and hit you? A pool table

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What did the Neo-Nazi say to the Jew? Hello.

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Q: Why did the little girl upset? A: Because she was part of the human centipede

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Knock knock ... KNOCK KNOCK ... I guess nobody's home.

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How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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Why are blondes stupid? They are not. Its just in America society has been given that impression through inaccurate and crude jokes.

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Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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What do u call a black polar bear? A black bear

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get on his birthday? Cancer.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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A one legged long jumper missed the world record by one foot.

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A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

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Justin Bieber

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What is black and gray? This rectangle and this text.

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What do call a black piano player? A pianist.

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Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

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The man who killed hitler must have ben a swell dude a.w. j.p.

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A dog walked into a bar. The bartender barked at the dog and the dog replied with, "I don't speak dog language."

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Whats worse than the holucaust.......... Nothing

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A man walks into a bar and asks "Where is your bathroom?" He is directed towards the restroom, where he then covers himself in toilet paper and calls himself a moose.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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