why was the little girl afraid of the dark because she was brutally raped in the dark when she was 4.

What do you call children with no arms or legs ...their names

A man called his dentist and asked when he should make an appointment. The dentist told him to come in around two thirty pm because that's when the next appointment was available.

Yo mama is so stupid, she has a sub-par intelligence quota.

What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

-I once had a dog with no legs, and do you know how I named him? -...? -I didn't name him, he wouldn't come...

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dog, which also fell out of the tree.

A man walks in to a wooden door. He's blind.

A: Knock Knock. B:Who's there? A: The IRS and Child Protective Services

A blond, teen girl with a pink hat and glasses goes to the doctor, and she says, "Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing bees, whislting, humming birds, and Tom Jones! Whats happening to me?!" The doctor says, "Tinnitus".

Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud.

What is Green and taste like an apple? An Apple

Roses are red, violets are blue Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

Q. What do you call a bunch of guys in a shower? A. The Holocaust.

A man walks into a bar, it looked like it hurt.

400 asian people walked in a bar

Why did Uncle Monty shove his head up a horses arse? Because it gave Doris an erection. She chose to keep her male genital organs following her gender changing procedure, so that she could still father children.

Ask me if I am a cat. Are you a cat? No, what kind of stupid question is that?

What happens if you fight Chuck Norris? You might lose or win.

Ok, so, a big moose walks into a store and he looks around for potatoes but he cant find any. So he asked a worker, "do you know where the potatoes are?" and she says, "the potatoes are in aisle 3." So the moose goes to aisle 3 and there aren't any potatoes!

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first one to walk on the moon... and Michael Jackson molested little children.

Q: What did William Wallace say to Beyonce after Taylor Swift's performance? A: Nothing, because William Wallace has been dead for some time now.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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