Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

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Person 1: You have something on your head Person 2: What? Where? What is it? Person 1: Hair

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud.

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So this guy is driving down the road and he is going real slow, he was going so slow in fact he wasn't even moving, because he was dead.

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Q: What do you call a black pilot? A: A pilot, you racist

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Ok, so, a big moose walks into a store and he looks around for potatoes but he cant find any. So he asked a worker, "do you know where the potatoes are?" and she says, "the potatoes are in aisle 3." So the moose goes to aisle 3 and there aren't any potatoes!

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roses are red violets are blue your baby has down syndrome

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, and it's destroying he's family

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why was the little girl afraid of the dark because she was brutally raped in the dark when she was 4.

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What's funnier than killing a bunch of orphans? Pretty much anything is funnier than that. What's wrong with you?

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The iguana is the only mammal capable of photosynthesis.

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Kill me? Lol, come get me sis, I can kill you wit my mullet, nobody wants to take my phone, but your sister already replied to my "anna fuck" with "arent you married buddy? :)" yeah a smiley, ill show you! The doors are open, if I fail to take you out, I am not deserving of living futher, course yea mother blusx to everywown, I mean she is horny all the tiem! Anywaz, hurry up, im out of stims so im fallin sleeps, told ur sis to send me a nude pic, rite now... so this mite take 3 minuts. Hey, watch the next pic im gonna send you, that should motivate you to fight me sersly, i men sure im slo, but imma sp ful ov valeium dat i feel nor feear no pain... never feeer pain so whateves... Nah your sis is skinny, thats not here, the pixture is fakye, for now... u dyou know dat she keeps snending them hearte and smile and even a smilei with a rose, thats FLIRIIIIIING! Flirting, anyway you get the picture, but I wont respon anymor becuz i am shuttin down this pc and gonna dream abot the things to0 you sis. ;)

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Baking a cake can be very hard and stressful, just like beating a slut with an axe.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because Se7en was a scary movie!

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

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What did I write on this website? This antijoke.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dog, which also fell out of the tree.

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What do Micheal Jackson and Niel Armstrong have in common? Armstrong did the earthwalk on the moon and Jackson F#$%ed little boys in the butt.

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A black guy and a white guy walk into a bar, they were both unemployed and blowing their savings on their alcohol addictions

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Moves Like AJgger- Marron 5

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What do the pope and an orange have in common? They're both fruits. Except for the pope.

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why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was a Women

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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