what do you do when a baby screams? shake it.

Get in the car.

Why is your face? Because.

Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

Why did the chicken kill itself? To get to the other side.

Why did the feminist cross the road? To suck a penis

How many Polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? My dad is dead.

Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

Why am I losing my time writing this joke even knowing that I will get lots of thumbs down?

Q: How does Lady Gaga like her meat? A: Exactly what her preference is.

why do bananas wear sunscreen? becuase they peel!

ROB SNIEDER ISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS A CAARRRRROT! rated pg-13

A man walks into a bar, it looked like it hurt.

Where was Sally when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

Penis.

Why did the moron jump through the window?

It's a bird! No it's a plane! No you idiots, it's only a cloud.

why was the little girl afraid of the dark because she was brutally raped in the dark when she was 4.

What do you call children with no arms or legs ...their names

69

2 men walk into a bar. The first man proceeds to fall on the ground and let out a string of obscenities, obviously in excruciating pain. The second man, fearing that he may have suffered some sort of concussion, immediately goes to his doctor and gets checked out. He is still awaiting results.

what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot.

Q: Whats worse than the death of flappy bird? A: The holocaust.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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