So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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Every 60 seconds in Africa.... A minute passes.

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What's the difference between an elephant and I?Our mass.

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane over New York? The Pilot.

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So theres a priest, a rabbi, and an athiest on a cliff. They all remark at the beautiful view and take plenty of pictures with their respected families.

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Why did the feminist cross the road? To suck a penis

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Why do priest touch children? They are sexually deprived and frustrated because their religion forbids them from having a normal sexual relationship with the opposite sex.

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When there's something weird in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The police.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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The King stands next to a pole. The King goes away, the pole stays there.

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Three men walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it.

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What do the pope and an orange have in common? They're both fruits. Except for the pope.

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What is 6 plus 9? 15.

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Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

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What do you do when your dishwasher isn't working? Beat it senseless, and then tell your wife you need a new one.

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Why did the girl die? She read Twililght

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What do you call an Indian cook, that cooks in a Chinese restaurant? A chef

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, and it's destroying he's family

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If a rooster lays a brown egg on the south side of an Asian man's roof, which way would I turn at the intersection? Folderol, because laundry has no soul.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why did my cat die? I drowned it in the bath.

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Whats worse than the holucaust.......... Nothing

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Why did the chicken kill itself? To get to the other side.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had heard from a mutual friend that his ex-girlfriend, who he had recently broken up with, would be present at the same party and to avoid an awkward encounter he chose not to go.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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