A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why did Billy fall off the swings? Because he had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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Why did the chicken kill itself? To get to the other side.

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

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why did the lady take anti depressants? because she was depressed

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Why did the moron jump through the window?

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roses are grey violets are grey im colorblind but your face is still black!!!

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It's a bird! No it's a plane! No you idiots, it's only a cloud.

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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There was a Mexican, a Chinese, and an American on a plane. The Mexican threw down a sack of beans, the Chinese threw down a sack of rice, and the American threw down a bomb. The plane landed. When the three passengers stepped out of the plane, they were hungry.

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What's funnier than killing a bunch of orphans? Pretty much anything is funnier than that. What's wrong with you?

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Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

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my president is black, my lambo's blue, $14,400,000,000,000 national debt

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How many Polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? My dad is dead.

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Why am I losing my time writing this joke even knowing that I will get lots of thumbs down?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dog, which also fell out of the tree.

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Q: Whats worse than the death of flappy bird? A: The holocaust.

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Why did Jake not get on the bus? Answer: Because Jake is a dog. Dogs are not allowed on the bus.

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There are two people in this world; people who finish their sentences and people who

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A blond, teen girl with a pink hat and glasses goes to the doctor, and she says, "Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing bees, whislting, humming birds, and Tom Jones! Whats happening to me?!" The doctor says, "Tinnitus".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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