A sheep walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

thumb_up thumb_down -1

"Ask me if I am a Lemon?" "Are you a Lemon?" "Yes, ask me if I'm an Orange" "No, I'm a Lemon."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No, he hasn't either

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q) You know how I know your gay A) Cuz your gay

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Kill me? Lol, come get me sis, I can kill you wit my mullet, nobody wants to take my phone, but your sister already replied to my "anna fuck" with "arent you married buddy? :)" yeah a smiley, ill show you! The doors are open, if I fail to take you out, I am not deserving of living futher, course yea mother blusx to everywown, I mean she is horny all the tiem! Anywaz, hurry up, im out of stims so im fallin sleeps, told ur sis to send me a nude pic, rite now... so this mite take 3 minuts. Hey, watch the next pic im gonna send you, that should motivate you to fight me sersly, i men sure im slo, but imma sp ful ov valeium dat i feel nor feear no pain... never feeer pain so whateves... Nah your sis is skinny, thats not here, the pixture is fakye, for now... u dyou know dat she keeps snending them hearte and smile and even a smilei with a rose, thats FLIRIIIIIING! Flirting, anyway you get the picture, but I wont respon anymor becuz i am shuttin down this pc and gonna dream abot the things to0 you sis. ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you confuse a blonde? You ask her a question.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the people thumbs-up the anti-joke? Because I threatened them with A GUN

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did Jake not get on the bus? Answer: Because Jake is a dog. Dogs are not allowed on the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +224

A: Knock Knock. B:Who's there? A: The IRS and Child Protective Services

thumb_up thumb_down +78

A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

thumb_up thumb_down +48

whats red and can fall on you blood from a hunted duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Q. What do you call a bunch of guys in a shower? A. The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

So this guy is driving down the road and he is going real slow, he was going so slow in fact he wasn't even moving, because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the boy dress up as a zombie? Because it was Halloween.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses Are Red Violets are blue A face like yours belong in a zoo Don't worry ill be there too Not in the cage but laughing at you

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobile? -Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

roses are grey violets are grey im colorblind but your face is still black!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roberto: Did you watch that WNBA game tonight?!? Will: No Roberto: Me either

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the blind boy get for christmas? harry potter transcribed in braille so he could enjoy such a magical world like the rest of us

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red, However, they can also be other colours, such as white, pink or yellow.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than repeating holocaust jokes? Repeating the holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Three men sit at a bar. A clown walks in, so the first man says, "Oh, what fresh hell is this?", gets up and leaves. Then a fairy flies in, so the second man says, "Aw, hell no!", gets up and leaves. So the third man was alone with the fairy and clown.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

JUSTIN BIEBER IS A FAG

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops