How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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what would you do if Michael Jackson was drowning? he can't drown he's already dead

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? He was hit by a bus!

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If file gives you melons, you might be dyslexic

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What did the senile man say to the kids on his lawn? Tree dance the gator thong for my nipples.

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What's better than ice cream? Anal sex

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Knock knock ... KNOCK KNOCK ... I guess nobody's home.

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What's the square root of four? Two.

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Why did the Black man cross the street? To get to the other side.

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What's worse than the Broncos losing the Superbowl? Your iPhone not working anymore

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Test

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What happened to the chicken crossing the road? She found a male chicken, had many babies and lived happily forever after.

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How do you make a plumber stop sagging? Tickle his crack

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Why did the black man rob a KFC? He was in a very difficult financial situation and was worried his kids would go homeless. After scouting various locations he found the security at a nearby KFC was non-existent.

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A priest, a nun, and a rabbi walk into a bar. There's a massive earthquake and the bar collapses to the ground, killing everyone inside.

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What did Darth Vader say when he spilled his drink? Darth Vader is a fictional character and is not a part of humanity.

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens' rights

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Dislike if you shag sheep ;)

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Knock knock Who's There? (It was a ding dong ditch. Or a knock knock ditch. What ever.)

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I enjoy the fact that the jokes I post that do not make me laugh, are the ones that get zero thumbs, while those that at least make me smile, get at least a couple, I admit thought that its hard to keep track with me, I type jokes so fast that they disappear in the back before people can thumb them... Have you heard... Of the dog that was barking up the wrong three? The three said: Damn dog! I am not a tree! The dog kept barking, as dogs do not speak. Moral: Numbers speak fluently in most languages though...

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Why did he buy ANTIJOKE THE BOOK! - ? Because he wanted to read it.

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Why did the business man move to New York? Because he saw a potential business opportunity that could benefit him and his loving family.

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Why did the one-legged chicken say déjà vu? It felt a strong sensation that the current event had been experienced in the past.

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I was in the middle of downloading a porno of two hot girls getting it on, my computer got a virus and crashed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops