Q.Want to hear somthing that will never happen A. Sure A. the Houston Astros won a game.

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Why doesn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead

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69

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Kill me? Lol, come get me sis, I can kill you wit my mullet, nobody wants to take my phone, but your sister already replied to my "anna fuck" with "arent you married buddy? :)" yeah a smiley, ill show you! The doors are open, if I fail to take you out, I am not deserving of living futher, course yea mother blusx to everywown, I mean she is horny all the tiem! Anywaz, hurry up, im out of stims so im fallin sleeps, told ur sis to send me a nude pic, rite now... so this mite take 3 minuts. Hey, watch the next pic im gonna send you, that should motivate you to fight me sersly, i men sure im slo, but imma sp ful ov valeium dat i feel nor feear no pain... never feeer pain so whateves... Nah your sis is skinny, thats not here, the pixture is fakye, for now... u dyou know dat she keeps snending them hearte and smile and even a smilei with a rose, thats FLIRIIIIIING! Flirting, anyway you get the picture, but I wont respon anymor becuz i am shuttin down this pc and gonna dream abot the things to0 you sis. ;)

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What do you call two gay black men? Homosexuals.

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Why do vampires suck the blood of their victims? Because blood is very nutritious and provides more iron for heamoglobin.

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What's rock hard and is sharp? A rock...and my penis.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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Do you know what does Wikipedia says about Elton John ? It says that Sir Elton Hercules John, CBE (born Reginald Kenneth Dwight; 25 March 1947) is an English singer-songwriter, composer and pianist. He has worked with his songwriting partner Bernie Taupin since 1967; they have collaborated on more than 30 albums to date.

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4 is half the number 8 is.

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Why Does God Hate Gays? He Doesent, God Does Not Exist.

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Have you heard about the new German microwave? It's a great labour-saving appliance that cooks food much more quickly than a conventional oven

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Why did Billy fall off the swings? Because he had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy.

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Yo mama is so stupid, she has a sub-par intelligence quota.

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An Irishman walked out of a bar. A Frenchman was polite. An Englishman had beautiful teeth.

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? No.

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roses are white, violets are black, You should probably consult with an eye doctor, for you probably have severe color blindness.

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When's the best time to go to the dentist? When you have an appointment.

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How do you keep a black guy out of your backyard? You tell him "STAY OUT"

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what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

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A man called his dentist and asked when he should make an appointment. The dentist told him to come in around two thirty pm because that's when the next appointment was available.

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Are You McDonalds Because I'm Loving It

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

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Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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