What did the cow get for Christmas? A tree

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had an appointment with his hair stylist. Just kidding chicken don't have hair.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Izzy and Zayn Malick got married. Then Zayn asked for a divorce due to their age difference..

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

If a rooster lays a brown egg on the south side of an Asian man's roof, which way would I turn at the intersection? Folderol, because laundry has no soul.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call children with no arms or legs ...their names

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What the black guy say to the Jew during the blizzard? I think it's snowing.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call an arab with a shemagh on his head and a gun A man who is concerned for his wellbeing and family

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did he buy ANTIJOKE THE BOOK! - ? Because he wanted to read it.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

i hate anti-jokes ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -38

An Asian child flunks a test.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Yeah neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why did the girl die? She read Twililght

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Have you heard about the new German microwave? It's a great labour-saving appliance that cooks food much more quickly than a conventional oven

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you become thinner in a week? Stand in front of a Bulldozer.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue Bitches Like U Belong In The Zoo

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How does a black guy who murdered his wife get out of jail? He serves his sentence and is allowed to return back home.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Where does a homeless person live? No where

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you get when you sunflower? Vegan turtles.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you kill a baby quickly? The better question is why kill a baby quickly?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops