Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself. Intrigued, he asked: ‘Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?’ ‘No, your Highness,’ he replied, ‘but my father was.

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HEY EVERYONE THUMBS UP!

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I am an orphan I have no parents

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis.

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a cheetah? A fictional animal.

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a black man and a squirrel get hit on two different roads what's the difference? well for starters theyre two different species. a squirrel is much smaller than a human and has his own mark on society. the man will be missed dearly by his family and if the impact with the car wasnt bad, he may have a chance to make it out alive at the hospital. the squirrel however is not so lucky. it will be left to die on the street or would have died on impact already with sadly no squirrel hospital to tend to it.

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What is green and invisible? This cabbage.

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what did the dog do when he saw the flea?he ate it because he didn't know what would happen next

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how Sudan answered England when England's ambassador eaten by Sudanese people? Eat ours

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There was a Mexican, a Chinese, and an American on a plane. The Mexican threw down a sack of beans, the Chinese threw down a sack of rice, and the American threw down a bomb. The plane landed. When the three passengers stepped out of the plane, they were hungry.

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Why did Billy fall off the swings? Because he had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy.

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How does a black guy who murdered his wife get out of jail? He serves his sentence and is allowed to return back home.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Everyone is amazed because he can now walk.

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Knock-Knock. Who's there? The person knocking at your door.

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? No.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he happened to be walking in that general direction.

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Why was the black man eating a banana? Because bananas are an excellent source of potassium.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer-pressure.

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An Asian child flunks a test.

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Knock-Knock who's there? Artichoke Artichoke who? Your friend Artie choked on a ham sandwich, and I'm sorry to inform you that he didn't survive.

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What's better than ice cream? Anal sex

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What Happends When Sawdust Gets in your mouth You poop logs

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Why did the girl die? She read Twililght

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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