Did you hear about the speed reader on top of the Twin towers? 90 stories 5 seconds.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he happened to be walking in that general direction.

What did the headless man say? Nothing. The man can't speak because he doesn't have a head.

What is funnier than this joke? Jokes with higher ratings.

A man walks into a bar and asks "Where is your bathroom?" He is directed towards the restroom, where he then covers himself in toilet paper and calls himself a moose.

Three men walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it.

You should periodically review the most up-to-date version of the Terms of Service. Oh you.

What do call a black piano player? A pianist.

What's better than ice cream? Anal sex

Yo mama is so fat!

Whats green has four legs and would kill you if it fell from a tree. Pool Table.....

Do you know what does Wikipedia says about Elton John ? It says that Sir Elton Hercules John, CBE (born Reginald Kenneth Dwight; 25 March 1947) is an English singer-songwriter, composer and pianist. He has worked with his songwriting partner Bernie Taupin since 1967; they have collaborated on more than 30 albums to date.

What did the blind boy get for christmas? harry potter transcribed in braille so he could enjoy such a magical world like the rest of us

Have you heard about the new German microwave? It's a great labour-saving appliance that cooks food much more quickly than a conventional oven

So theres a priest, a rabbi, and an athiest on a cliff. They all remark at the beautiful view and take plenty of pictures with their respected families.

What do you call a black guy in college? A student.

What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

What did the two fire men say to each other whilst a house was burning? Well be better put that fire.

Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself. Intrigued, he asked: ‘Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?’ ‘No, your Highness,’ he replied, ‘but my father was.

It was a stormy night and a stinking boy was running away from the co-op, he was clutching onto his pocket and constantly looked over his shoulder.... panting the boy reaches for a rusty door handle he opens the door quickly and shuts it behind him. "mam i got tea" said the boy "thanks david we will eat tonight for once" said a big chinned pharaoh.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had cancer and died.

A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

Why did the cow jump over the moon? He cant jump over the moon due to low gravity

What do you call a black man from Germany? A Germ.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...