What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

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Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself. Intrigued, he asked: ‘Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?’ ‘No, your Highness,’ he replied, ‘but my father was.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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what would you do if Michael Jackson was drowning? he can't drown he's already dead

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Why do vampires suck the blood of their victims? Because blood is very nutritious and provides more iron for heamoglobin.

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What did Batman say to his parents? Nothing. They're dead. Idiot.

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Justin Littleton's mom accidentally texting him about buying weed, and then offering to buy him ice cream to make up for it.

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Roses are red violets are blue I hate rhyming pancakes

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Knock knock ... KNOCK KNOCK ... I guess nobody's home.

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What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

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Have you heard about the new German microwave? It's a great labour-saving appliance that cooks food much more quickly than a conventional oven

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What did the boy get for creating a fantastic AntiJoke? Leukemia

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It’s dead.

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What did Darth Vader say when he spilled his drink? Darth Vader is a fictional character and is not a part of humanity.

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What do you call a blonde on the Moon? That depends on what her name is.

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Why did the room packed with married people seem empty? Maybe they were all playing hide-and-seek. Or maybe the room was pitch black and they were all standing very still and quietly.

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Why did the business man move to New York? Because he saw a potential business opportunity that could benefit him and his loving family.

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Why did he buy ANTIJOKE THE BOOK! - ? Because he wanted to read it.

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I was in the middle of downloading a porno of two hot girls getting it on, my computer got a virus and crashed.

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HEY EVERYONE THUMBS UP!

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Did you hear about the speed reader on top of the Twin towers? 90 stories 5 seconds.

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? He was hit by a bus!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he happened to be walking in that general direction.

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What's the difference between dead babies and ferraris? I don't have 17 ferraris in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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