Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? No.

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I love you, you live me. Now get the FUDGE out of the tree!!!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme Others don't

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Q: How does Lady Gaga like her meat? A: Exactly what her preference is.

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9/11

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when the doctor asked him why he was sad andreas replyd i have a small penis and drew and devin keep making me drop the soap

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Yo mamma's so fat, she should try NutriSystem.

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What's the easiest way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was a Women

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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a weird guy tickled a watermelon.

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Get me a sandwich, bitch

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Why does Brianne cry? Because she has no family.

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Why Does God Hate Gays? He Doesent, God Does Not Exist.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was blind and deaf, leaving her unable to respond to external stimuli and thus unlikely to able to pass a basic driving test.

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How do you kill a 1000 Ethiopians? Throw a biscuit off a cliff. JimBoto

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What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

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What did the nurse say to the man who got an erection while being given a sponge bath? She assured him it was a normal reaction and moved on to clean his arms.

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Are You McDonalds Because I'm Loving It

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69

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You copy and paster!

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What did the two fire men say to each other whilst a house was burning? Well be better put that fire.

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I hate being bi-polar; it's awesome!

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What do the Chinese call ping pong? Ping pong.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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