How do you make a plumber stop sagging? Tickle his crack

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Knock-Knock. Who's there? The person knocking at your door.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Everyone is amazed because he can now walk.

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What do you call a blonde on the Moon? That depends on what her name is.

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Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself. Intrigued, he asked: ‘Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?’ ‘No, your Highness,’ he replied, ‘but my father was.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had cancer and died.

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics? Not being disabled.

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Hide him under your coat.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin boys? Thomas and David after his father and grandfather.

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Yo mama is so fat!

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Like CHUCK NORRIS, CHUCK NORRIS like You !

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What do you call an Indian cook, that cooks in a Chinese restaurant? A chef

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Whats Brown and sticky... Shit

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Why did the Koala Fall out of the tree, It was Dead

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I enjoy the fact that the jokes I post that do not make me laugh, are the ones that get zero thumbs, while those that at least make me smile, get at least a couple, I admit thought that its hard to keep track with me, I type jokes so fast that they disappear in the back before people can thumb them... Have you heard... Of the dog that was barking up the wrong three? The three said: Damn dog! I am not a tree! The dog kept barking, as dogs do not speak. Moral: Numbers speak fluently in most languages though...

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What do you do when a elephant is sitting on your fence? You hit it with a fridge

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I was in the middle of downloading a porno of two hot girls getting it on, my computer got a virus and crashed.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Yeah neither did she.

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What do you call a black man that goes to college? A student..

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Knock knock ... KNOCK KNOCK ... I guess nobody's home.

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BALL SO HARD... That I got kicked off the team for intentionally fouling other players whenever I got on the court, I'm sorry

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What's the square root of four? Two.

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What did the blind boy get for christmas? harry potter transcribed in braille so he could enjoy such a magical world like the rest of us

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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