What did the cow get for Christmas? A tree

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How do you know that god was a male? You don't, that's why it's called faith.

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Yo mamas so fat, that I need a new pair of sunglasses.

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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What do you call a black man from Germany? A Germ.

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Why are blondes stupid? They are not. Its just in America society has been given that impression through inaccurate and crude jokes.

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What's worse than death? Nothing.

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what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue Bitches Like U Belong In The Zoo

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Shoes, socks, and mittens.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had heard from a mutual friend that his ex-girlfriend, who he had recently broken up with, would be present at the same party and to avoid an awkward encounter he chose not to go.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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what would you do if Michael Jackson was drowning? he can't drown he's already dead

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What did the headless man say? Nothing. The man can't speak because he doesn't have a head.

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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- I shot the sheriff! - You murderer

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what did the dog do when he saw the flea?he ate it because he didn't know what would happen next

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Why did the Black man cross the street? To get to the other side.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What does a turtle do on its back? NOTHING!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being shot repeatedly in the chest.

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ARE YOU READY FOR THE OLDEST ANTIJOKE EVER WRITTEN: HERE IT COMES....... THE MOST ANCIENT OF THEM ALL...... ARE YOU READY?????? HERE WE GO...... Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! THAT'S RIGHT. THIS IS IN FACT AN ANTI JOKE - "...ends with such an anti climax...the lack of punchline is the punchline."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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