I enjoy the fact that the jokes I post that do not make me laugh, are the ones that get zero thumbs, while those that at least make me smile, get at least a couple, I admit thought that its hard to keep track with me, I type jokes so fast that they disappear in the back before people can thumb them... Have you heard... Of the dog that was barking up the wrong three? The three said: Damn dog! I am not a tree! The dog kept barking, as dogs do not speak. Moral: Numbers speak fluently in most languages though...

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I was in the middle of downloading a porno of two hot girls getting it on, my computer got a virus and crashed.

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? He was hit by a bus!

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What do you call a black man that goes to college? A student..

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Knock knock ... KNOCK KNOCK ... I guess nobody's home.

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BALL SO HARD... That I got kicked off the team for intentionally fouling other players whenever I got on the court, I'm sorry

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What Does Alex J Simpsons Face have in Common with his hand? Spaghetti

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You should really respect vegetables more. They rock. They're all like... AAAHH!!!... and I'm all like... DUDE! THAT'S SO INCREDIBLY RANDOM!... and seriously, you should respect da veggies!

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What do you call a black man from Germany? A Germ.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What is a wok? A wok is sumting you twow at wabbits.

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A young girl falls off a swing, she is paralysed from the neck down and unable to walk every agian.

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Miss Polly had a Dolly who was sick sick sick So she called for the Doctor to come quick quick quick The doctor came with his bag and his hat And he knocked on the door with a rat-tat-tat. He looked at Polly's Dolly and he shook his head. He said she had leprosy and must have all her limbs amputated.

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what would you do if Michael Jackson was drowning? he can't drown he's already dead

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Yeah neither did she.

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? There is no Santa Claus.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. You are under arrest for sodomy.

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What does 1+1 equal? 2

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what do you call a man in a hole Fill

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Whats worse than the holucaust.......... Nothing

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Knock knock Who's There? (It was a ding dong ditch. Or a knock knock ditch. What ever.)

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Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself. Intrigued, he asked: ‘Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?’ ‘No, your Highness,’ he replied, ‘but my father was.

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How many rednecks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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