I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis.

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What do you call a black man that goes to college? A student..

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody, because first, pineapples are too small to fit in, and second, you would drown.

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a black man and a squirrel get hit on two different roads what's the difference? well for starters theyre two different species. a squirrel is much smaller than a human and has his own mark on society. the man will be missed dearly by his family and if the impact with the car wasnt bad, he may have a chance to make it out alive at the hospital. the squirrel however is not so lucky. it will be left to die on the street or would have died on impact already with sadly no squirrel hospital to tend to it.

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What is green and invisible? This cabbage.

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You should really respect vegetables more. They rock. They're all like... AAAHH!!!... and I'm all like... DUDE! THAT'S SO INCREDIBLY RANDOM!... and seriously, you should respect da veggies!

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What did the blind boy get for christmas? harry potter transcribed in braille so he could enjoy such a magical world like the rest of us

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Why did the cow jump over the moon? He cant jump over the moon due to low gravity

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being shot repeatedly in the chest.

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roses are red violets are blue your baby has down syndrome

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A young girl falls off a swing, she is paralysed from the neck down and unable to walk every agian.

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why didn't the drug addict take steroids? he was going to but died due to years of substance abuse

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69

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Test

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How do you kill a baby quickly? The better question is why kill a baby quickly?

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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What do you call an arab with a shemagh on his head and a gun A man who is concerned for his wellbeing and family

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An Irishman walked out of a bar. A Frenchman was polite. An Englishman had beautiful teeth.

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Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself. Intrigued, he asked: ‘Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?’ ‘No, your Highness,’ he replied, ‘but my father was.

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Why did he buy ANTIJOKE THE BOOK! - ? Because he wanted to read it.

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what would you do if Michael Jackson was drowning? he can't drown he's already dead

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. This next line doesn't rhyme. Nor does this one. This isn't a very good poem.

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Did you hear about the speed reader on top of the Twin towers? 90 stories 5 seconds.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he happened to be walking in that general direction.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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