A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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what did the dog do when he saw the flea?he ate it because he didn't know what would happen next

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What does a turtle do on its back? NOTHING!

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Fags are gay.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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So theres a priest, a rabbi, and an athiest on a cliff. They all remark at the beautiful view and take plenty of pictures with their respected families.

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What's worse than the Broncos losing the Superbowl? Your iPhone not working anymore

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Me:I talk to myself to much. Me:Same

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Test

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Everyone is amazed because he can now walk.

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I enjoy the fact that the jokes I post that do not make me laugh, are the ones that get zero thumbs, while those that at least make me smile, get at least a couple, I admit thought that its hard to keep track with me, I type jokes so fast that they disappear in the back before people can thumb them... Have you heard... Of the dog that was barking up the wrong three? The three said: Damn dog! I am not a tree! The dog kept barking, as dogs do not speak. Moral: Numbers speak fluently in most languages though...

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i hate anti-jokes ;)

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what would you do if Michael Jackson was drowning? he can't drown he's already dead

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What did the headless man say? Nothing. The man can't speak because he doesn't have a head.

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Ask me if I'm a flower. Are you a flower? No.

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What did the poor sickly orphan get for Christmas? Nothing.

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The man who killed hitler must have ben a swell dude a.w. j.p.

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What's better than ice cream? Anal sex

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Yo mamas so fat, that I need a new pair of sunglasses.

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Why did the girl die? She read Twililght

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being shot repeatedly in the chest.

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how Sudan answered England when England's ambassador eaten by Sudanese people? Eat ours

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Why are blondes stupid? They are not. Its just in America society has been given that impression through inaccurate and crude jokes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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