Q: What do you call a guy that likes men? A: Gay.

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why did the girl cross the road ? to get run over by a flee of running cows

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Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself. Intrigued, he asked: ‘Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?’ ‘No, your Highness,’ he replied, ‘but my father was.

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A man walks into a bar. - - - - - - - - -

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? He was hit by a bus!

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It was a stormy night and a stinking boy was running away from the co-op, he was clutching onto his pocket and constantly looked over his shoulder.... panting the boy reaches for a rusty door handle he opens the door quickly and shuts it behind him. "mam i got tea" said the boy "thanks david we will eat tonight for once" said a big chinned pharaoh.

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What's the difference between dead babies and ferraris? I don't have 17 ferraris in my garage.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer-pressure.

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An Asian child flunks a test.

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What did the poor sickly orphan get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody, because first, pineapples are too small to fit in, and second, you would drown.

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The man who killed hitler must have ben a swell dude a.w. j.p.

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Q: What's funny about prostitution? A: Nothing. It's a widely misunderstood profession.

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What's worse than death? Nothing.

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I am darkness, soon I shall rule the world, those of you that desire to serve me thumb this up, those of you that desire eternal fear beyond your imagination, thumb me down. Moral: Try thinking of me and thinking "he is crazy", in order to unlock the secrets behind spontaneous human combustion.

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What's the difference between mustangs and dead babies I don't collect mustangs

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Why did Billy fall off the swings? Because he had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy.

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A sheep walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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It’s dead.

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I enjoy the fact that the jokes I post that do not make me laugh, are the ones that get zero thumbs, while those that at least make me smile, get at least a couple, I admit thought that its hard to keep track with me, I type jokes so fast that they disappear in the back before people can thumb them... Have you heard... Of the dog that was barking up the wrong three? The three said: Damn dog! I am not a tree! The dog kept barking, as dogs do not speak. Moral: Numbers speak fluently in most languages though...

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Dislike if you shag sheep ;)

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Why did the people thumbs-up the anti-joke? Because I threatened them with A GUN

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what would you do if Michael Jackson was drowning? he can't drown he's already dead

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What did the headless man say? Nothing. The man can't speak because he doesn't have a head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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