Roses are red. Violets are blue. This next line doesn't rhyme. Nor does this one. This isn't a very good poem.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had cancer and died.

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What's the easiest way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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Whats worse than dying? Nothing, really.

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Izzy and Zayn Malick got married. Then Zayn asked for a divorce due to their age difference..

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What is a wok? A wok is sumting you twow at wabbits.

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Knock-Knock. Who's there? The person knocking at your door.

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? He was hit by a bus!

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Yeah neither did she.

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What did the Neo-Nazi say to the Jew? Hello.

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What never seems to get old? AIDS.

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Q: Why did the little girl upset? A: Because she was part of the human centipede

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody, because first, pineapples are too small to fit in, and second, you would drown.

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Yo mama is so fat!

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A man walks into a pole.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

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What do you call two gay black men? Homosexuals.

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How do you become thinner in a week? Stand in front of a Bulldozer.

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How do you make a plumber stop sagging? Tickle his crack

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What happened to the chicken crossing the road? She found a male chicken, had many babies and lived happily forever after.

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Why did the black man rob a KFC? He was in a very difficult financial situation and was worried his kids would go homeless. After scouting various locations he found the security at a nearby KFC was non-existent.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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