What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, shes already been told twice

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Yo mama is so fat!

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What's the animal that eats with its tail? All of them, since they won't take it off when they get to eat.

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Roberto: Did you watch that WNBA game tonight?!? Will: No Roberto: Me either

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Q: What's sad about seeing a dead twenty year old lying at the corner of a street with a beer bottle in his hand? A: He owed me twenty bucks.

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Q: What's funny about prostitution? A: Nothing. It's a widely misunderstood profession.

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Q) You know how I know your gay A) Cuz your gay

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A man opens his refrigerator and takes out a can of soda. He returns back to his living area and continues watching television.

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why did the girl cross the road ? to get run over by a flee of running cows

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69

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What happened to the chicken crossing the road? She found a male chicken, had many babies and lived happily forever after.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

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What did the doctor say to the terminally ill patient? Your going to die.

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What did the homeless child get for Christmas? Leukemia

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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Why did the room packed with married people seem empty? Maybe they were all playing hide-and-seek. Or maybe the room was pitch black and they were all standing very still and quietly.

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I hate being bi-polar; it's awesome!

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What did 6 say to 7? Nothing, numbers are abstract concepts thought up by humans and therefore, they cannot speak or converse in any sort of language.

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What did the redneck say to the Muslim? Nothing, he is too blinded by racial hatred and ignorance after terrorist attacks on the U.S to speak with him despite having common interests, such as baseball.

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Whats funny about a car crash? If a bowl of soup is talking.

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Bob fell off his roof.

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I believe that as long as we do not change, as we decide to believe in ourselves and use our strength and potential, all that is left, is to see which side fate favors. Maybe we are meant to survive trough our strength and belief in ourselves and each other, or maybe we are, or will eventually end up as the last people of our kind, and fade away from life, proving that those that trust in the corrupt, where better than us. Suddenly I feel so alone.

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What do you call a chicken with it's head chopped off. A decapitated chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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