what would you do if Michael Jackson was drowning? he can't drown he's already dead

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Ask me if I'm a flower. Are you a flower? No.

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A man walks into a pole.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being shot repeatedly in the chest.

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A horse walks into a bar, it gets a concussion. -mattobrado

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roses are red violets are blue your baby has down syndrome

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ARE YOU READY FOR THE OLDEST ANTIJOKE EVER WRITTEN: HERE IT COMES....... THE MOST ANCIENT OF THEM ALL...... ARE YOU READY?????? HERE WE GO...... Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! THAT'S RIGHT. THIS IS IN FACT AN ANTI JOKE - "...ends with such an anti climax...the lack of punchline is the punchline."

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If a rooster lays a brown egg on the south side of an Asian man's roof, which way would I turn at the intersection? Folderol, because laundry has no soul.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Shoes, socks, and mittens.

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How do you make a plumber stop sagging? Tickle his crack

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What did Darth Vader say when he spilled his drink? Darth Vader is a fictional character and is not a part of humanity.

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What do you get when you sunflower? Vegan turtles.

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What do you call an arab with a shemagh on his head and a gun A man who is concerned for his wellbeing and family

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What do you call a blonde on the Moon? That depends on what her name is.

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Why did the people thumbs-up the anti-joke? Because I threatened them with A GUN

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? He was hit by a bus!

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I am an orphan I have no parents

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What is the difference between a joke, and an antijoke? A joke is actually funny.

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Q:What's red and fluffy? A: A blue rock, if blue were red and rocks were fluffy

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody, because first, pineapples are too small to fit in, and second, you would drown.

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a black man and a squirrel get hit on two different roads what's the difference? well for starters theyre two different species. a squirrel is much smaller than a human and has his own mark on society. the man will be missed dearly by his family and if the impact with the car wasnt bad, he may have a chance to make it out alive at the hospital. the squirrel however is not so lucky. it will be left to die on the street or would have died on impact already with sadly no squirrel hospital to tend to it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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