Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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You should really respect vegetables more. They rock. They're all like... AAAHH!!!... and I'm all like... DUDE! THAT'S SO INCREDIBLY RANDOM!... and seriously, you should respect da veggies!

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what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

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Why did the disabled man fall of the swing, someone shot him.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? He was hit by a bus!

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Yeah neither did she.

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What do you call a black man from Germany? A Germ.

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obamas trench

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what do you call a man in a hole Fill

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Whats worse than the holucaust.......... Nothing

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Everyone is amazed because he can now walk.

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Knock knock Who's There? (It was a ding dong ditch. Or a knock knock ditch. What ever.)

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what would you do if Michael Jackson was drowning? he can't drown he's already dead

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How many rednecks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three.

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What did the redneck say to the Muslim? Nothing, he is too blinded by racial hatred and ignorance after terrorist attacks on the U.S to speak with him despite having common interests, such as baseball.

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics? Not being disabled.

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a weird guy tickled a watermelon.

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What's the square root of four? Two.

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What does 1+1 equal? 2

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What does a turtle do on its back? NOTHING!

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A young girl falls off a swing, she is paralysed from the neck down and unable to walk every agian.

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What is a wok? A wok is sumting you twow at wabbits.

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Miss Polly had a Dolly who was sick sick sick So she called for the Doctor to come quick quick quick The doctor came with his bag and his hat And he knocked on the door with a rat-tat-tat. He looked at Polly's Dolly and he shook his head. He said she had leprosy and must have all her limbs amputated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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