What happened to the chicken crossing the road? She found a male chicken, had many babies and lived happily forever after.

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How do you make a plumber stop sagging? Tickle his crack

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How do you kill a baby quickly? The better question is why kill a baby quickly?

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What do you call a blonde on the Moon? That depends on what her name is.

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what would you do if Michael Jackson was drowning? he can't drown he's already dead

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Q: How does Lady Gaga like her meat? A: Exactly what her preference is.

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What did Batman say to his parents? Nothing. They're dead. Idiot.

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What did the little orphan boy get for Christmas? Nothing because he had died six months prior to Christmas due to the horrible living conditions of the orphanage.

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What's the difference between dead babies and ferraris? I don't have 17 ferraris in my garage.

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Justin Littleton's mom accidentally texting him about buying weed, and then offering to buy him ice cream to make up for it.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer-pressure.

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Why did the Black man cross the street? To get to the other side.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Have you heard about the new German microwave? It's a great labour-saving appliance that cooks food much more quickly than a conventional oven

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What do you call two gay black men? Homosexuals.

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A priest, a nun, and a rabbi walk into a bar. There's a massive earthquake and the bar collapses to the ground, killing everyone inside.

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Me:I talk to myself to much. Me:Same

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Rosa Parks is going to be here if she gets to the bus on time!

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Q. Why can’t a teacher lift weights? A. Because, most teachers are women and most women do not enjoy It.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a black man A pizza can feed a family of four

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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Roses are red Violets are blue But this is Italy So let me fuck you

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Why did the black man get the grape soda? It was the only soda left.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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