Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer-pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +80

666

thumb_up thumb_down +56

What did the redneck say to the Muslim? Nothing, he is too blinded by racial hatred and ignorance after terrorist attacks on the U.S to speak with him despite having common interests, such as baseball.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why does your mom not love you.... Because she is not your real mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whats green has four legs and would kill you if it fell from a tree. Pool Table.....

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why does a squid have 8 legs? It doesn't, it has 8 tentacles!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock, Knock. Who's there? George. George Who? George Smith.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. Now heres a boy who can't read. Ngjmhgmgk? MTGKMJHGMjhkmjh(hgjnhgfjhgfj nj nvj vj kvnmg ifh) njki nj jo ncj kgjkfngjfk jkn jkgfngkfn gkn kgfnigkfnmg km kgf kglfn kglf kglgkflnm klnm mklm khlgfpnkmfklnmlk mbk lm klgfnmk gfmkngfnkgfklfknm m k kf mkfl m k gflmgkffmkopfdjtorper srhes hngfdlj;sdnht rktrtnr rdpkng ngngf.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why does Marcus keep playing dumb games instead of doing his goelogy. No one knows.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the widow get for mothers day A miscarriage

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually 6 wasn't afraid of 7 because numbers have are not living things, therefore have no consciousness or emotions, meaning that numerical digits can not have a fear or be afraid of another number.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Knock-knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did the business man move to New York? Because he saw a potential business opportunity that could benefit him and his loving family.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Regardless of the number of dead babies present, painting a house will require at least one living baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -148

why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was a Women

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A man walks into a bar, has a few drinks and spots a nice looking lady He then follows her home and molestes her child.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Yo momma's so ugly, she decided to get plastic surgery and now has much higher self-esteem.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Get me a sandwich, bitch

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man walks into a pole.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the cat say to another ? meow

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the man start crying? Because he lost his job.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Who let the dogs out? The pet shop.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops