What's the worst part about seeing a dead baby on the beach? The crushing sadness.

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Ask me if I'm a flower. Are you a flower? No.

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what did batman say to robin before getting into the car? get in the car.

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What did the cow get for Christmas? A tree

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Q: What's funny about prostitution? A: Nothing. It's a widely misunderstood profession.

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" So let's set the world on fire..." Q: How do you do that? A: Strike a match...

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How do you kill a baby quickly? The better question is why kill a baby quickly?

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Q. Why can’t a teacher lift weights? A. Because, most teachers are women and most women do not enjoy It.

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Why did the room packed with married people seem empty? Maybe they were all playing hide-and-seek. Or maybe the room was pitch black and they were all standing very still and quietly.

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That was SOOOOO funny that I laughed!!!!!

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What do you call a black man that goes to college? A student..

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There was a goat and it was eating McDonalds, I just farted and my nuts are itchy.

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Yo mamas so fat, that I need a new pair of sunglasses.

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What does a turtle do on its back? NOTHING!

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ARE YOU READY FOR THE OLDEST ANTIJOKE EVER WRITTEN: HERE IT COMES....... THE MOST ANCIENT OF THEM ALL...... ARE YOU READY?????? HERE WE GO...... Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! THAT'S RIGHT. THIS IS IN FACT AN ANTI JOKE - "...ends with such an anti climax...the lack of punchline is the punchline."

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What did the cat say to another ? meow

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart... but the very next day your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

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How do you become thinner in a week? Stand in front of a Bulldozer.

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why did the girl cross the road ? to get run over by a flee of running cows

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Why did the black man rob a KFC? He was in a very difficult financial situation and was worried his kids would go homeless. After scouting various locations he found the security at a nearby KFC was non-existent.

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What do you get when you sunflower? Vegan turtles.

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? He was hit by a bus!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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