" So let's set the world on fire..." Q: How do you do that? A: Strike a match...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the black man rob a KFC? He was in a very difficult financial situation and was worried his kids would go homeless. After scouting various locations he found the security at a nearby KFC was non-existent.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you make a plumber stop sagging? Tickle his crack

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What happened to the chicken crossing the road? She found a male chicken, had many babies and lived happily forever after.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself. Intrigued, he asked: ‘Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?’ ‘No, your Highness,’ he replied, ‘but my father was.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Robin get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -86

This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blowjob I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

thumb_up thumb_down -114

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had cancer and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +199

Whats funny about a car crash? If a bowl of soup is talking.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the cow get for Christmas? A tree

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the blind boy get for christmas? harry potter transcribed in braille so he could enjoy such a magical world like the rest of us

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did the lion get lost? because the jungle is massive.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

69

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats worse than having a woman faking an orgasm? Having a guy fake one.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q. What language cant you speak A.Sign language

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's the difference between a pizza and a black man A pizza can feed a family of four

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Q: How does Lady Gaga like her meat? A: Exactly what her preference is.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Roses are red. Violets are blue. This next line doesn't rhyme. Nor does this one. This isn't a very good poem.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

What did the redneck say to the Muslim? Nothing, he is too blinded by racial hatred and ignorance after terrorist attacks on the U.S to speak with him despite having common interests, such as baseball.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Knock-Knock who's there? Artichoke Artichoke who? Your friend Artie choked on a ham sandwich, and I'm sorry to inform you that he didn't survive.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody, because first, pineapples are too small to fit in, and second, you would drown.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

a weird guy tickled a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How do you know that god was a male? You don't, that's why it's called faith.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Izzy and Zayn Malick got married. Then Zayn asked for a divorce due to their age difference..

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops