What do you get when you sunflower? Vegan turtles.

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Why did Charlie Sheen laugh at the TV? Because there happened to be a comedy on.

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A man walks into a bar and asks "Where is your bathroom?" He is directed towards the restroom, where he then covers himself in toilet paper and calls himself a moose.

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What did the poor sickly orphan get for Christmas? Nothing.

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a black man and a squirrel get hit on two different roads what's the difference? well for starters theyre two different species. a squirrel is much smaller than a human and has his own mark on society. the man will be missed dearly by his family and if the impact with the car wasnt bad, he may have a chance to make it out alive at the hospital. the squirrel however is not so lucky. it will be left to die on the street or would have died on impact already with sadly no squirrel hospital to tend to it.

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What did the cow get for Christmas? A tree

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Yo momma's so ugly, she decided to get plastic surgery and now has much higher self-esteem.

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What's black, white and red all over? A zebra carcass

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What Does Alex J Simpsons Face have in Common with his hand? Spaghetti

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You should really respect vegetables more. They rock. They're all like... AAAHH!!!... and I'm all like... DUDE! THAT'S SO INCREDIBLY RANDOM!... and seriously, you should respect da veggies!

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What does a turtle do on its back? NOTHING!

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Why did the man start crying? Because he lost his job.

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What's tastier than a dead baby? An orphaned dead baby.

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What is round and will hurt you if you step on it? The sun

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What kind of society have we created that a chicken can't even cross a road without his motives being questioned?

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What do all of these jokes have in common? They're not funny. You see, the definition of an anti-joke is a "type of indirect humor that involves the joke-teller delivering something which is deliberately not funny, or lacking in intrinsic meaning. The audience is expecting something humorous, and when this does not happen, the irony itself is of comedic value." As this is a page full of anti-jokes, we know to expect the unfunny - thus robbing us of the experience of an anti-joke.

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What did the two fire men say to each other whilst a house was burning? Well be better put that fire.

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Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

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I was in the middle of downloading a porno of two hot girls getting it on, my computer got a virus and crashed.

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What's the worst part about seeing a dead baby on the beach? The crushing sadness.

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? There is no Santa Claus.

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What did the redneck say to the Muslim? Nothing, he is too blinded by racial hatred and ignorance after terrorist attacks on the U.S to speak with him despite having common interests, such as baseball.

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What do you call a black man that goes to college? A student..

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BALL SO HARD... That I got kicked off the team for intentionally fouling other players whenever I got on the court, I'm sorry

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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