Miss Polly had a Dolly who was sick sick sick So she called for the Doctor to come quick quick quick The doctor came with his bag and his hat And he knocked on the door with a rat-tat-tat. He looked at Polly's Dolly and he shook his head. He said she had leprosy and must have all her limbs amputated.

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? No.

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Why did Charlie Sheen laugh at the TV? Because there happened to be a comedy on.

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What's the worst part about seeing a dead baby on the beach? The crushing sadness.

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? There is no Santa Claus.

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Ask me if I'm a flower. Are you a flower? No.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. You are under arrest for sodomy.

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Whats worse than dying? Nothing, really.

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What's black, white and red all over? A zebra carcass

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. I don't know what happens next, I got the fuck out of there before shit went down

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What does a turtle do on its back? NOTHING!

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what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

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what do you call a man in a hole Fill

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Why did the man mow his lawn without his shirt on? Because it was very hot out.

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What did the poor sickly orphan get for Christmas? Nothing.

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a black man and a squirrel get hit on two different roads what's the difference? well for starters theyre two different species. a squirrel is much smaller than a human and has his own mark on society. the man will be missed dearly by his family and if the impact with the car wasnt bad, he may have a chance to make it out alive at the hospital. the squirrel however is not so lucky. it will be left to die on the street or would have died on impact already with sadly no squirrel hospital to tend to it.

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Two sausages were in a pan. One says "Wow it's hot in here!" the other says "OH MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE"

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Like CHUCK NORRIS, CHUCK NORRIS like You !

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Q: What do you call a guy that likes men? A: Gay.

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How does a black guy who murdered his wife get out of jail? He serves his sentence and is allowed to return back home.

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What's brown and sticky? A penis.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. This next line doesn't rhyme. Nor does this one. This isn't a very good poem.

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What did Batman say to his parents? Nothing. They're dead. Idiot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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