Im ashamed of being from Canada

What's the difference between a monkey wrench and a snow cone? A lot.

Q: Why couldn't Katie ride a bike? A: Because she has leprosy.

What did the old lady say when she went to a restaurant? OH look at the price of this salad.

Why are you going to thumbs this joke up? Because I use the words "Chuck Norris" Thus making it impossible to not thumbs up.

Grandma walked into the kitchen...

Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

What's worse than getting a jigsaw puzzle for your birthday? Slavery

Why did the girl die? She read Twililght

What's worse than death? Nothing.

Why did the room packed with married people seem empty? Maybe they were all playing hide-and-seek. Or maybe the room was pitch black and they were all standing very still and quietly.

Why did the business man move to New York? Because he saw a potential business opportunity that could benefit him and his loving family.

Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

What is funnier than this joke? Jokes with higher ratings.

What's white and sticky? Glue.

My doctor recommended I take anger management classes. That really pisses me off.

You should really respect vegetables more. They rock. They're all like... AAAHH!!!... and I'm all like... DUDE! THAT'S SO INCREDIBLY RANDOM!... and seriously, you should respect da veggies!

What did the little boy with cancer say right before he died? Nothing. He was very sick and could not speak at all during his final weeks.

Who let the dogs out? The pet shop.

How do you kill a 1000 Ethiopians? Throw a biscuit off a cliff. JimBoto

What the black guy say to the Jew during the blizzard? I think it's snowing.

What's worse than listening to Justin Beiber? Getting hit by a train.

What do you call a white person on a leash? A toddler.

How do you kill a baby quickly? The better question is why kill a baby quickly?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...