Why did the chicken cross the road? What kind of society have we created that a chicken can't even cross a road without his motives being questioned?

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Why i Hate people. They are alive. The are breathing. The are near me.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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Q.Want to hear somthing that will never happen A. Sure A. the Houston Astros won a game.

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What did the gay man say to the other gay man? Hey, we're both gay, let's have sex!

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Why did the blond play Russian roulette? She is very poor and needs the money so she can feed her son.

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LeBron James hits a game winning three with time running out in the Finals.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's me Ok, come in (the knockers voice was familiar enough that giving a name would have been out of place)

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why did the man get off the bus? Penis

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Why did the man mow his lawn without his shirt on? Because it was very hot out.

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What does a tree and a human have in common? They both fall if you chop them with an axe.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Knock-knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

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ive got a joke for you Nicki minajs ase

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How do you kill a baby quickly? The better question is why kill a baby quickly?

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A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

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My mumma your mumma live down the street 18,19 marble street out came you and out came me but then your mumma died from her pee

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Q:What's red and fluffy? A: A blue rock, if blue were red and rocks were fluffy

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What never seems to get old? AIDS.

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Why did the man start crying? Because he lost his job.

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Who let the dogs out? The pet shop.

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What did the cat say to another ? meow

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops