This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blowjob I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

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What's faster than a black guy with your TV? Probably someone who doesn't have to carry such a heavy object.

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Roses are red violets are blue I hate rhyming pancakes

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What do you call a man with a bad haircut? A man with a bad haircut

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A cruise ship took sail. It was about a mile out into the water already. The blonde had missed the ship when it set sail. She was only capable of swimming a mile. She swam a half a mile out after the ship, and then turned around. She then later died due to a severe case of hypothermia due to the temperatures of the water for long periods of time.

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Why did the blond play Russian roulette? She is very poor and needs the money so she can feed her son.

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Yo mommas so fat they had to change 'one size fits all' to 'one size fits most'

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Racial Equality.

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ive got a joke for you Nicki minajs ase

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Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself. Intrigued, he asked: ‘Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?’ ‘No, your Highness,’ he replied, ‘but my father was.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. This next line doesn't rhyme. Nor does this one. This isn't a very good poem.

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Get me a sandwich, bitch

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What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

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What's worse than getting a jigsaw puzzle for your birthday? Slavery

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April showers bring may flowers, may flowers bring pilgrims, pilgrims bring diseases, diseases bring death, death brings... Well it's just death.

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Why did nick and tyler visit anti-joke.com? Because they have nothing better to do.

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A man walks into a 1980's style restaurant he takes a seat and orders his meal.

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Why did the girl suck the other guy off? to get paid

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What did the cat say to another ? meow

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what did the duck say to the hawk? quack

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A young girl falls off a swing, she is paralysed from the neck down and unable to walk every agian.

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Why did the man mow his lawn without his shirt on? Because it was very hot out.

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Knock-Knock. Who's there? The person knocking at your door.

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Surprise mother father (A+)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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