Roses are red. Violets are blue. This next line doesn't rhyme. Nor does this one. This isn't a very good poem.

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This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blowjob I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

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What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

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Why did nick and tyler visit anti-joke.com? Because they have nothing better to do.

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I'm the rubber and you're the glue, whatever you say sends vibrations through the air that hit my eardrum and my brain interprets these vibrations as what your are saying.

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Q: What do you call a pakistani that practices medice? A: Doctor

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Why did the girl suck the other guy off? to get paid

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What's worse than getting a jigsaw puzzle for your birthday? Slavery

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April showers bring may flowers, may flowers bring pilgrims, pilgrims bring diseases, diseases bring death, death brings... Well it's just death.

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A young girl falls off a swing, she is paralysed from the neck down and unable to walk every agian.

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What's tastier than a dead baby? An orphaned dead baby.

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Why did the man mow his lawn without his shirt on? Because it was very hot out.

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Knock-Knock. Who's there? The person knocking at your door.

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Racial Equality.

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Why did Charlie Sheen laugh at the TV? Because there happened to be a comedy on.

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What's faster than a black guy with your TV? Probably someone who doesn't have to carry such a heavy object.

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Get me a sandwich, bitch

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What do you call two gay black men? Homosexuals.

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Who let the dogs out? The pet shop.

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Your mom's so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and foods with nutritional value!!!! Oh burn!!!!

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

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Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself. Intrigued, he asked: ‘Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?’ ‘No, your Highness,’ he replied, ‘but my father was.

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What did 6 say to 7? Nothing, numbers are abstract concepts thought up by humans and therefore, they cannot speak or converse in any sort of language.

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What do you call a black man that goes to college? A student..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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