A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. I don't know what happens next, I got the fuck out of there before shit went down

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What Does Alex J Simpsons Face have in Common with his hand? Spaghetti

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What did the little boy with cancer say right before he died? Nothing. He was very sick and could not speak at all during his final weeks.

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What did the cat say to another ? meow

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Why i Hate people. They are alive. The are breathing. The are near me.

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Whats worse than having a woman faking an orgasm? Having a guy fake one.

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What can be worst than letting someone you dont know run a chainsaw? Letting Smokey Dokey run a chainsaw!

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Rosa Parks is going to be here if she gets to the bus on time!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Knock-knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

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Q: Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? A: Because he's dead.

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I love you, you live me. Now get the FUDGE out of the tree!!!

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Barack Obama.

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What did the little orphan boy get for Christmas? Nothing because he had died six months prior to Christmas due to the horrible living conditions of the orphanage.

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What's the worst part about seeing a dead baby on the beach? The crushing sadness.

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Why did the black man get the grape soda? It was the only soda left.

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BALL SO HARD... That I got kicked off the team for intentionally fouling other players whenever I got on the court, I'm sorry

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A woman's opinion

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What's tastier than a dead baby? An orphaned dead baby.

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Why did the black man rob a KFC? He was in a very difficult financial situation and was worried his kids would go homeless. After scouting various locations he found the security at a nearby KFC was non-existent.

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Why did the Koala Fall out of the tree, It was Dead

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Q. Why can’t a teacher lift weights? A. Because, most teachers are women and most women do not enjoy It.

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Whats the difference between a ham sandwich and a dead baby sandwich? I don't stomp on my ham sadnwiches with cleats before I eat them.

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Those days where everything goes wrong, and you think to yourself "I just gotta do whats right here"... ...Sigh... 2. DO YOU KNOW WHY I HATE YOU SO MUCH? BECAUSE I HATE YOU! (Blame is on me, love and hate are not opposites, send me a copy of your book, and ill rip it out for you)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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