What's faster than a black guy with your TV? Probably someone who doesn't have to carry such a heavy object.

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Q:What's red and fluffy? A: A blue rock, if blue were red and rocks were fluffy

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i am a dwarf i have a big nose im a ranga nice to meet you julia

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What did the poor sickly orphan get for Christmas? Nothing.

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What did the cow get for Christmas? A tree

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What's the animal that eats with its tail? All of them, since they won't take it off when they get to eat.

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What did the gay man say to the other gay man? Hey, we're both gay, let's have sex!

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What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

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banana

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Were can you find a bag of meth? A drug dealer

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Why did nick and tyler visit anti-joke.com? Because they have nothing better to do.

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It’s dead.

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what did the muffin say to the other muffin when they were in the oven? hi, im a muffin

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Why did Hellen Keller masturbate with her left hand? Because her right hand was tired.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Whats tan and jumps higher than a frog? Mexicans..

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What did the black man say to the man from Kyrgyzstan? I've never heard of your country before.

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What do you call a man with a bad haircut? A man with a bad haircut

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why does a squid have 8 legs? It doesn't, it has 8 tentacles!

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How do you fit 100 babies in a bucket? put them in a blender. How do you get them out? potato chips.

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what did the duck say to the hawk? quack

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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got a new boxing bag the other day its hanging from the top of my stairs its called dead seb

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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