What's gold and looks like a brick? A gold brick. What's gold and looks like a nugget? A gold nugget. Whats gold and like a car? Gold. I lied about the car.

" So let's set the world on fire..." Q: How do you do that? A: Strike a match...

Why did the chicken cross the road? What kind of society have we created that a chicken can't even cross a road without his motives being questioned?

what did the muffin say to the other muffin when they were in the oven? hi, im a muffin

Roses are red Violets are blue (not really) I have Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

What did the two fire men say to each other whilst a house was burning? Well be better put that fire.

Why did Hellen Keller masturbate with her left hand? Because her right hand was tired.

What do you call a black man that goes to college? A student..

What did the black man say to the man from Kyrgyzstan? I've never heard of your country before.

I've got a joke for you. The people writing these jokes. Thats a joke.

What did the cow get for Christmas? A tree

Why did the girl suck the other guy off? to get paid

Knock Knock Who's there? It's me Ok, come in (the knockers voice was familiar enough that giving a name would have been out of place)

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

A young girl falls off a swing, she is paralysed from the neck down and unable to walk every agian.

Test

Why did the man mow his lawn without his shirt on? Because it was very hot out.

Why didn't Joe's toaster work anymore? Because he dropped it into the bathtub with him.

whats white and cant climb a fence? a fridge

Paige

your momma is so poor she had you just for the free milk

Roses are red. Violets are blue. This next line doesn't rhyme. Nor does this one. This isn't a very good poem.

Those days where everything goes wrong, and you think to yourself "I just gotta do whats right here"... ...Sigh... 2. DO YOU KNOW WHY I HATE YOU SO MUCH? BECAUSE I HATE YOU! (Blame is on me, love and hate are not opposites, send me a copy of your book, and ill rip it out for you)

What did the blind kid get for Christmas? A collection of braile children's reading books.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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