What did the little orphan boy get for Christmas? Nothing because he had died six months prior to Christmas due to the horrible living conditions of the orphanage.

thumb_up thumb_down -134

Those days where everything goes wrong, and you think to yourself "I just gotta do whats right here"... ...Sigh... 2. DO YOU KNOW WHY I HATE YOU SO MUCH? BECAUSE I HATE YOU! (Blame is on me, love and hate are not opposites, send me a copy of your book, and ill rip it out for you)

thumb_up thumb_down -186

What did 6 say to 7? Nothing, numbers are abstract concepts thought up by humans and therefore, they cannot speak or converse in any sort of language.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Q: Why couldn't Katie ride a bike? A: Because she has leprosy.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rihno? Rihno-elephant

thumb_up thumb_down +35

BALL SO HARD... That I got kicked off the team for intentionally fouling other players whenever I got on the court, I'm sorry

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What Does Alex J Simpsons Face have in Common with his hand? Spaghetti

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why didn't the drug addict take steroids? he was going to but died due to years of substance abuse

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the man mow his lawn without his shirt on? Because it was very hot out.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What can be worst than letting someone you dont know run a chainsaw? Letting Smokey Dokey run a chainsaw!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q. Why can’t a teacher lift weights? A. Because, most teachers are women and most women do not enjoy It.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q: Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? A: Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did Charlie Sheen laugh at the TV? Because there happened to be a comedy on.

thumb_up thumb_down -137

Justin Littleton's mom accidentally texting him about buying weed, and then offering to buy him ice cream to make up for it.

thumb_up thumb_down +104

What do you get when you cross some eggs and some toast? Breakfast.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

Last Christmas I gave you my heart... but the very next day your body rejected the transplant and you died.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's brown and sticky? A penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: What is your name? A: I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the room packed with married people seem empty? Maybe they were all playing hide-and-seek. Or maybe the room was pitch black and they were all standing very still and quietly.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

what is small and is not fair Mitt Romneys tax rate

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +173

what did batman say to robin before getting into the car? get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Whats funny about a car crash? If a bowl of soup is talking.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's the square root of four? Two.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops