Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself. Intrigued, he asked: ‘Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?’ ‘No, your Highness,’ he replied, ‘but my father was.

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Why did Charlie Sheen laugh at the TV? Because there happened to be a comedy on.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? If so, you're probably a pervert.

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why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was a Women

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What's the square root of four? Two.

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Why did the Dr love drop hit guitar? Because a bear walked into a bar and killed everyone in there including dr love and was then shot to death by police and animal control.

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What did the cat say to another ? meow

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what did the duck say to the hawk? quack

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April showers bring may flowers, may flowers bring pilgrims, pilgrims bring diseases, diseases bring death, death brings... Well it's just death.

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A young girl falls off a swing, she is paralysed from the neck down and unable to walk every agian.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What kind of society have we created that a chicken can't even cross a road without his motives being questioned?

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What can be worst than letting someone you dont know run a chainsaw? Letting Smokey Dokey run a chainsaw!

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Whats worse than having a woman faking an orgasm? Having a guy fake one.

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Why did he buy ANTIJOKE THE BOOK! - ? Because he wanted to read it.

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? No.

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What do you call a fly without wings? A fly without wings.

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What did 6 say to 7? Nothing, numbers are abstract concepts thought up by humans and therefore, they cannot speak or converse in any sort of language.

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What do you call a black man that goes to college? A student..

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Q.Want to hear somthing that will never happen A. Sure A. the Houston Astros won a game.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Wherever you left it

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Why does your mom not love you.... Because she is not your real mom.

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A man walks into a 1980's style restaurant he takes a seat and orders his meal.

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What's gold and looks like a brick? A gold brick. What's gold and looks like a nugget? A gold nugget. Whats gold and like a car? Gold. I lied about the car.

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You are so gay you frequently, and consentingly are sodomized by men and frivolously enjoy it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops