How do you fit 100 babies in a bucket? put them in a blender. How do you get them out? potato chips.

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? My ass

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Roses are red Violets are blue (not really) I have Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? No.

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One white male lives in a city with all blacks. He puts up with gang violence nearly every day.

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What is Justin Bieber + One less lonely girl. A BABY

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer-pressure.

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Why did Hellen Keller masturbate with her left hand? Because her right hand was tired.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What's gold and looks like a brick? A gold brick. What's gold and looks like a nugget? A gold nugget. Whats gold and like a car? Gold. I lied about the car.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's me Ok, come in (the knockers voice was familiar enough that giving a name would have been out of place)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What kind of society have we created that a chicken can't even cross a road without his motives being questioned?

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Whats Brown and sticky... Shit

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Paige

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Why did the business man move to New York? Because he saw a potential business opportunity that could benefit him and his loving family.

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- I shot the sheriff! - You murderer

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What did the cow get for Christmas? A tree

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Izzy and Zayn Malick got married. Then Zayn asked for a divorce due to their age difference..

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A man walks into a pole.

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What did the widow get for mothers day A miscarriage

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Why did the blonde buy a hotdog? She didn't. She has chronic anorexia.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Test

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What do all of these jokes have in common? They're not funny. You see, the definition of an anti-joke is a "type of indirect humor that involves the joke-teller delivering something which is deliberately not funny, or lacking in intrinsic meaning. The audience is expecting something humorous, and when this does not happen, the irony itself is of comedic value." As this is a page full of anti-jokes, we know to expect the unfunny - thus robbing us of the experience of an anti-joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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