How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Regardless of the number of dead babies present, painting a house will require at least one living baby.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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Magic is another word for "poorly perceived analysis of the mechanics of this complex instrumentality we call optical illusion."

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If file gives you melons, you might be dyslexic

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your mum. Oh hi mum, the doors unlocked

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. I don't know what happens next, I got the fuck out of there before shit went down

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A woman's opinion

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm color blind.

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what do you call a man in a hole Fill

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What kind of society have we created that a chicken can't even cross a road without his motives being questioned?

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Surprise mother father (A+)

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Hi

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Barack Obama.

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What's the worst part about seeing a dead baby on the beach? The crushing sadness.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. You are under arrest for sodomy.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves when he realizes he is supposed to be at a business meeting

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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your mammas so fat she has to buy pants in the xxlarge section of the store

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LeBron James hits a game winning three with time running out in the Finals.

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What do you call a black guy in college? A student.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Knock-knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

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Why does my ass hurt I played gmod with a blackpeople

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Those days where everything goes wrong, and you think to yourself "I just gotta do whats right here"... ...Sigh... 2. DO YOU KNOW WHY I HATE YOU SO MUCH? BECAUSE I HATE YOU! (Blame is on me, love and hate are not opposites, send me a copy of your book, and ill rip it out for you)

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What did 6 say to 7? Nothing, numbers are abstract concepts thought up by humans and therefore, they cannot speak or converse in any sort of language.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops