An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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" So let's set the world on fire..." Q: How do you do that? A: Strike a match...

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing because polar bears lived in the northern hemisphere and penguins lived in the southern. But if one is smuggled from north to south or vice-versa. The polar would growl and consume the penguin.

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Why did nick and tyler visit anti-joke.com? Because they have nothing better to do.

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What's brown and sticky? A penis.

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Q: What is your name? A: I don't know.

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? No.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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My mumma your mumma live down the street 18,19 marble street out came you and out came me but then your mumma died from her pee

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? If so, you're probably a pervert.

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I've got a joke for you. The people writing these jokes. Thats a joke.

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national song of the mute person? 5 minutes of silence please

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how Sudan answered England when England's ambassador eaten by Sudanese people? Eat ours

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What did the gay logger do to the tree with a hole in it? Cut it down.

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What is round and will hurt you if you step on it? The sun

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? My ass

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Why i Hate people. They are alive. The are breathing. The are near me.

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What's brown, liquid and bad for your health in large doses? Did you guess: Coca Cola? Soda? Beer? Pepsi? Wrong. It's beer. Did this Anti-joke sound pretentious? Don't worry, you're not the only one.

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Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

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- I shot the sheriff! - You murderer

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. I don't know what happens next, I got the fuck out of there before shit went down

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A horse walks into a bar, it gets a concussion. -mattobrado

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Why did the blond play Russian roulette? She is very poor and needs the money so she can feed her son.

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Have you heard about the new German microwave? It's a great labour-saving appliance that cooks food much more quickly than a conventional oven

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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