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What's rock hard and is sharp? A rock...and my penis.

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What did the black man say to the man from Kyrgyzstan? I've never heard of your country before.

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- I shot the sheriff! - You murderer

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Roses are red violets are blue I hate rhyming pancakes

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I've got a joke for you. The people writing these jokes. Thats a joke.

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What did the old lady say when she went to a restaurant? OH look at the price of this salad.

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Yo mamma so fat, she probably has Type Two Diabetes - which is often associated with obesity - and should seek medical advice.

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What did the little boy with cancer say right before he died? Nothing. He was very sick and could not speak at all during his final weeks.

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what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing because polar bears lived in the northern hemisphere and penguins lived in the southern. But if one is smuggled from north to south or vice-versa. The polar would growl and consume the penguin.

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What did the Muffin say to the other muffin ? I dont know

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I'm the rubber and you're the glue, whatever you say sends vibrations through the air that hit my eardrum and my brain interprets these vibrations as what your are saying.

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Why did the President Truman approve the use a nuke over Hiroshima? Sending Chuck Norris was widely considered to be too cruel.

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What's white and hides behind a tree? Shy milk.

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Why did the boy eat his bagel? He was hungry.

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This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blowjob I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

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Q:What's red and fluffy? A: A blue rock, if blue were red and rocks were fluffy

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Wherever you left it

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What do you call a man with a bad haircut? A man with a bad haircut

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Why does your mom not love you.... Because she is not your real mom.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves when he realizes he is supposed to be at a business meeting

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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