Why did the boy eat his bagel? He was hungry.

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Q:What's red and fluffy? A: A blue rock, if blue were red and rocks were fluffy

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Roses are red violets are blue I hate rhyming pancakes

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? He received many presents because his parents loved him very much.

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How do you make an eggroll? You push it.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves when he realizes he is supposed to be at a business meeting

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What did the gay man say to the other gay man? Hey, we're both gay, let's have sex!

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A cruise ship took sail. It was about a mile out into the water already. The blonde had missed the ship when it set sail. She was only capable of swimming a mile. She swam a half a mile out after the ship, and then turned around. She then later died due to a severe case of hypothermia due to the temperatures of the water for long periods of time.

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what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? My ass

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Knock knock Who's There? Idk, who the **** names their kid There?

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What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing because polar bears lived in the northern hemisphere and penguins lived in the southern. But if one is smuggled from north to south or vice-versa. The polar would growl and consume the penguin.

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It’s dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What kind of society have we created that a chicken can't even cross a road without his motives being questioned?

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What did the Muffin say to the other muffin ? I dont know

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Yo mommas so fat they had to change 'one size fits all' to 'one size fits most'

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ive got a joke for you Nicki minajs ase

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. This next line doesn't rhyme. Nor does this one. This isn't a very good poem.

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This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blowjob I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

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What do you call a man with a bad haircut? A man with a bad haircut

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What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

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Two men and a woman walk into a bar. They are all viciously murdered by a serial killer, who as he walks out, runs into a pole and suffers from a concussion, which he later dies from.

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Why did nick and tyler visit anti-joke.com? Because they have nothing better to do.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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