An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? If so, you're probably a pervert.

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What's black, white and red all over? A zebra carcass

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A man walks into a 1980's style restaurant he takes a seat and orders his meal.

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A man walks into a bar, has a few drinks and spots a nice looking lady He then follows her home and molestes her child.

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What's worse than getting a jigsaw puzzle for your birthday? Slavery

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Why did the man start crying? Because he lost his job.

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? My ass

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing because polar bears lived in the northern hemisphere and penguins lived in the southern. But if one is smuggled from north to south or vice-versa. The polar would growl and consume the penguin.

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Why did the man mow his lawn without his shirt on? Because it was very hot out.

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What's white and hides behind a tree? Shy milk.

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Why did Charlie Sheen laugh at the TV? Because there happened to be a comedy on.

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Q:What's red and fluffy? A: A blue rock, if blue were red and rocks were fluffy

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Roses are red violets are blue I hate rhyming pancakes

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I've got a joke for you. The people writing these jokes. Thats a joke.

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What do you call a man with a bad haircut? A man with a bad haircut

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My doctor recommended I take anger management classes. That really pisses me off.

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national song of the mute person? 5 minutes of silence please

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves when he realizes he is supposed to be at a business meeting

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What did the old lady say when she went to a restaurant? OH look at the price of this salad.

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how Sudan answered England when England's ambassador eaten by Sudanese people? Eat ours

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You are so gay you frequently, and consentingly are sodomized by men and frivolously enjoy it.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why did the man get off the bus? Penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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