Why did the man fall off the swing? he got hit in the back of the head with a shovel.

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What did the gay logger do to the tree with a hole in it? Cut it down.

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What do all of these jokes have in common? They're not funny. You see, the definition of an anti-joke is a "type of indirect humor that involves the joke-teller delivering something which is deliberately not funny, or lacking in intrinsic meaning. The audience is expecting something humorous, and when this does not happen, the irony itself is of comedic value." As this is a page full of anti-jokes, we know to expect the unfunny - thus robbing us of the experience of an anti-joke.

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It’s dead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue (not really) I have Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

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What did the homeless child get for Christmas? Leukemia

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This is my firstever post so I wanted to make it very specialand have it really mean something, then I though fark that for a joke

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This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blowjob I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

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What did the poor sickly orphan get for Christmas? Nothing.

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What do you call a man with a bad haircut? A man with a bad haircut

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What did the old lady say when she went to a restaurant? OH look at the price of this salad.

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Q: what's black and white and red all over? A: someone getting murderd on a news paper

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Why did the blond play Russian roulette? She is very poor and needs the money so she can feed her son.

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what do you call a man in a hole Fill

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why did the black guy win a gold medal in the olympics? hard work, dedication and determanation! what no one else can be bothered to do anymore because of all this new technology and stuff!! get of your arse and do something active. NOW!

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Why i Hate people. They are alive. The are breathing. The are near me.

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whats white and cant climb a fence? a fridge

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Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself. Intrigued, he asked: ‘Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?’ ‘No, your Highness,’ he replied, ‘but my father was.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he happened to be walking in that general direction.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud.

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What did the cow get for Christmas? A tree

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? The hooker is a human being whereas the onion is a vegetable.

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A cruise ship took sail. It was about a mile out into the water already. The blonde had missed the ship when it set sail. She was only capable of swimming a mile. She swam a half a mile out after the ship, and then turned around. She then later died due to a severe case of hypothermia due to the temperatures of the water for long periods of time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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