What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other practices law for a living.

Q: What do you call a car full of black people? A: Stolen

whats worse that 3 black guys dieing in a train accident .... one was ur brother the other was gay

What's older than history? Pre-history.

why did the kid fall over and break his neck? Because he slipped on the ice-cream from the kid who got hit by a bus.

What did jell say to the carriage driver from Uzbekistan that was underpaid and had no banter? Oh My God ROFLMAOOTG (the last three are "on the ground") "I will beat you with a small child that I will soon feed to the T-Rex's" should be on the list.

What is the difference between a pizza and the Jews? The pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

Yo momma is SO black.

Why Did The Girl Cry? Old People Are Funny.

Why did the doctor have no peins? She was a woman.

Knock Knock Who's There? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'd never forget.

How do you make a Trucker cry? Kill his family and chop of his arms.

Q: John has 400 cookies, 200 hundred are chocolate chip and the rest are sugar. John eats 100 of each, what does he have now? A: Diabetes

What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he can't fly

How do you call blond girl with no arms and no legs ? A victim of a tragic car accident.

a mom tell her kid not to play with knives ten years later tells her kid not to play with knives and the kid asks y and the mom says because ur older brother killed his father and himself playing with knives so the kid said mom i promise i wont do that then kils his mom and himself

Why was the black man afraid of the chainsaw? Because its a potentially dangerous weapon

What did the homeless child get for Christmas? Leukemia

What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

what did the poor kid get from santa? Nothing santa hates poor kid, but the rich kid got a very nice convertable.

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

Gues what makes me smile Mouth muscles

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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