hi

A bear walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender knows that bears can't talk and realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and rolls over to tell his wife about the dream. She hears the joke, but turns away from him and pretends to be asleep. Then the bartender begins to cry. His marriage is in shambles.

What did Brielle say when she fell off the swing? Ow.

What is it called when your friend tells you that Justin Beiber was laid? Lying.

yeah..

What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

Roses are red Violets are red Oh god I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

Why did susy give up in the corner? Cause she couldnt fight off the black man.

What did the gay logger do to the tree with a hole in it? Cut it down.

What items don't float? A school bus full of children

What do you call a submarine full of soldiers shot by a torpedo? Tragic war heros, that we will remember and honor

What did the little orphan boy get for Christmas? Nothing because he had died six months prior to Christmas due to the horrible living conditions of the orphanage.

What is Justin Bieber + One less lonely girl. A BABY

Yo mama so stupid she tried to drown a dog and was quite successful at it. Know she serves a death sentence.

I used to be an adventurer like you... then I enlisted for much safer guard service with a more steady salary.

What do you call a man with a bad haircut? A man with a bad haircut

What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other practices law for a living.

Yidi Huang lives here.

Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

Why couldn't the dog say anything to the cat? It was born deaf.

I saw a man one day i saw him the next day and the next and the next i didn't see him ever again

If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? Well, a test is a well thought-out series of questions, usually used in schools to determine a students final grade.

why did the little girl fall off the swing - she had no arms.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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