What is it called when your friend tells you that Justin Beiber was laid? Lying.

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9/11

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you ever put a vibrating phone on your b a l l s ???

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finding nemo didnt make sense how could a shark go on a no fish diet

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what did the black guy say to the other black guy? good morning

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What is the favorite song of Lady Di? no, that is a dead person and must be respected.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Frank Frank who? I killed your grandma

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Why was the little boy sad? Cause his mum died of a terminal illness. Why was the little girl sad? Cause she was his sibling.

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Haikus are rigid, Their structure gives them beauty, And if you ignore the structure they kind of don't make sense and are bad.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He still lives there.

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? Try not to antagonise it.

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did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg? he's all right now

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What is more scary than an AK47,blood,and 99999 naughty children? Nothing problaly :p

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Wanna know what my grandma said before she kicked the bucket? Hey grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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Q.why did the car crash? A.becaus eit was drivin by a sack of potatos.

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WHO IS A CHIKEN???????????? I AM do you got a problem with that!!!!!!

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How do you fit 6000000 jews into a car? 1 in the front, 1 in the back and the rest in the ashtray.

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What do you call a pakie flying a plane The pilot... or a terrorist it up to you

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How many Puerto Ricans does it take to clog the treads of my tank? Eight

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whats red that looks like ketchup taste like ketchup and is't tomato sorce? ketchup

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William and Kate do get off their ass and do something useful for once instead of hogging the cover of intouch magazine.

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Fine, you got me there, I have already made sure that you get your compensation, it is the least thing I can do you let me know if anyone claiming to be part of my order bothers you again, I promise I will personally enforce strict guidelines in order to ensure that such a thing never happens again. I hope you will trust me, I will no longer call it the Order of Nero, but as you know we cannot reveal the true name of our order. I also agree to meet you in person so we can further discuss this impeding situation which I will give top priority. Truth is Nero, that I used to be one of your co workers in the underground, and my attempts at saving what is left might not be as ideal as the goals we are set to achieve are, we simply cannot expect that people excel at greatness at the first go. Of course this grave incident is not even near a "mere lack of greatness" but rather a group of people that yes, sadly have rightfully claimed to be members of our society, yet I need you to come to terms that this was a huge oversight in my vision for a new and "improved" underground society, and not a intentional attack at you and your personal security. I submit to your demands, and I ask that you partake in a small number of meetings where we can all discuss and further develop the necessary guidelines required to further solidify our foundation.

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Andrew: who's better at football, Peyton Manning or Tom Brady? Thomas: ur mom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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