Phillip has 200 pieces of candy, Phillip eats 185 pieces of that candy, what does Phillip have left? Diabetes, Phillip has diabetes.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other practices law for a living.

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how many people can you eat? well, im not canniballistic, so none unless i was starving.

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What did the black guy said when he ate a pie? Nothing, he learned not to speak with a full mouth.

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Why did Jim fall out of the tree? Because Jim is a leaf.

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Imagine Buzz Lightyear standing on the edge of a cliff. He jumps off hoping to fly. He manages to glide for a little bit until a bird crashes into him a cause one of his wings to break. What happens then? Simply imagine him turning into bird.

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Q: Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? A: He was looking for pooh

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Flop dog

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if a dinosaurs could talk, what would they say nothing their all dead

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Yo mama so fat, she was accepted to a clinical trial for treatment of morbid obesity in middle-aged women.

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shall i compare thee to a summers day, no, because thee are ugly, yay

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Gues what makes me smile Mouth muscles

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whats red that looks like ketchup taste like ketchup and is't tomato sorce? ketchup

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What is the favorite song of Lady Di? no, that is a dead person and must be respected.

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Why did the plane crash into a mountain? Because a Banana was flying it, and Bananas can't fly planes.

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who is still together after all the crap they have been through? your butt cheeks

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What did jell say to the carriage driver from Uzbekistan that was underpaid and had no banter? Oh My God ROFLMAOOTG (the last three are "on the ground") "I will beat you with a small child that I will soon feed to the T-Rex's" should be on the list.

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Yeah Aodhans been typing up everything strting argument along with taggart

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Say eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dumpster full of dead babies? There isn't a Ferrari in my garage.

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What did little Jimmy say when he met God ? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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