Wanna know what my grandma said before she kicked the bucket? Hey grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you fit 6000000 jews into a car? 1 in the front, 1 in the back and the rest in the ashtray.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

shall i compare thee to a summers day, no, because thee are ugly, yay

thumb_up thumb_down -113

What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other practices law for a living.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

how many people can you eat? well, im not canniballistic, so none unless i was starving.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the black guy said when he ate a pie? Nothing, he learned not to speak with a full mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did Jim fall out of the tree? Because Jim is a leaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? A: He was looking for pooh

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q. How much wood would a Wood-Chuck chuck if a Wood-Chuck could chuck wood? A. Wood-Chuck's clearly cant chuck would so what is the point of trying to figure out a question that would never take place in real life?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the black guy cross the road? i have no idea but i hope he got to the other side safely.

thumb_up thumb_down

How many Puerto Ricans does it take to clog the treads of my tank? Eight

thumb_up thumb_down +61

I used to be an adventurer like you... then I enlisted for much safer guard service with a more steady salary.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

A man walks into a school, he then proceeds to gun down the majority of the students before taking his own life. What a sad, sad day.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

A seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

"Knock Knock" "Who the hell is it?" "Patri..." "Go the hell away!"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Seen the new batman movie? [spoiler] the audience dies

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A kid walked in to a bar, grabbed a napkin, and left

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did jell say to the carriage driver from Uzbekistan that was underpaid and had no banter? Oh My God ROFLMAOOTG (the last three are "on the ground") "I will beat you with a small child that I will soon feed to the T-Rex's" should be on the list.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

what is worse then breaking on arm breaking two arms what is worse then breaking two arms the holocaust what is then the holocaust Obama care.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

if a dinosaurs could talk, what would they say nothing their all dead

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What is Justin Beiber's favorite pastime? According to his biography, it's reading science fiction novels

thumb_up thumb_down -46

why did the chicken not cross the road? He ran

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops