Patient: Hey doc, I think I might have a tumor... Doc: Don't worry, it's all in your head.

Phillip has 200 pieces of candy, Phillip eats 185 pieces of that candy, what does Phillip have left? Diabetes, Phillip has diabetes.

What is Justin Beiber's favorite pastime? According to his biography, it's reading science fiction novels

what's worse than finding 8 babies in 1 trash can? nuclear warfare

did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg? he's all right now

"Behold, the greatest invention Man has ever seen!" exclaimed the inventor of eyes.

What is the favorite song of Lady Di? no, that is a dead person and must be respected.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

how do you warm someone up? you set their house on fire.

Why did the man cross the road? Because that it where his friend Bob lives.

if a dinosaurs could talk, what would they say nothing their all dead

shall i compare thee to a summers day, no, because thee are ugly, yay

Haikus are rigid, Their structure gives them beauty, And if you ignore the structure they kind of don't make sense and are bad.

Paperclip... BANANA?!

British Dentistry

Why did the man have 3 girlfriends? A: because he is a womanizer

What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Get it repaired.

What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

Why Did The Girl Cry? Old People Are Funny.

How do you confuse a blonde? Say eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

What's older than history? Pre-history.

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dumpster full of dead babies? There isn't a Ferrari in my garage.

What did little Jimmy say when he met God ? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

Knock knock. Who's there?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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