I used to be an adventurer like you... then I enlisted for much safer guard service with a more steady salary.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Why did the man have 3 girlfriends? A: because he is a womanizer

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the pope do when he saw the grinch? He prayed for his soul.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? A disgusting halfbreed which prays daily for its own euthenasia...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

you ever put a vibrating phone on your b a l l s ???

thumb_up thumb_down +1

"Behold, the greatest invention Man has ever seen!" exclaimed the inventor of eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A blonde, brunette and redhead are stuck on an island that is a mile away from any civilisation.The blonde decides to swim to find help. The blonde swims half a mile, has a rest and then carries on swimming.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Knock knock. Who's there?

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Why didn't the hungry woman get up and make herself some food? She has Lou Gehrig disease and any movement she makes results in excruciating pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +142

how many people can you eat? well, im not canniballistic, so none unless i was starving.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock Knock Who's there? Frank Frank who? I killed your grandma

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q.why did the car crash? A.becaus eit was drivin by a sack of potatos.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What was the worst part about the Holocaust? -When it ended

thumb_up thumb_down -26

WHO IS A CHIKEN???????????? I AM do you got a problem with that!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Knock Knock Whos there? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour who? Wait aren't you the one who's supposed to supposed tell the punchline? Oh Yeah

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Haikus are rigid, Their structure gives them beauty, And if you ignore the structure they kind of don't make sense and are bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +95

There once was a man from Nantucket. He still lives there.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

How many Puerto Ricans does it take to clog the treads of my tank? Eight

thumb_up thumb_down +55

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

A black guy walks into a bar. When he saw the white bartender's bar he got offended. There were heads of hunted animals on the walls. He works for PETA.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the the man not take acting? He wasn't good at it.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Yes and no, I am into literature, I am a writer, of how to rape and kill guides for the whole family (raping the whole family that is, again instructions for the whole family with inspirational quotes) Now give an example of each book to each family member without a cover stating what the book is... ...And after the first time, the world was never the same again.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What is the favorite song of Lady Di? no, that is a dead person and must be respected.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops