how many people can you eat? well, im not canniballistic, so none unless i was starving.

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What did the the policeman say to the band member who trashed a hotel room? "You're under arrest" The band member replied "Well, you're under a vest" The policeman reiterates that this isn't the time to be making any jokes and that vandalism is a very serious offence

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What is it called when your friend tells you that Justin Beiber was laid? Lying.

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? Try not to antagonise it.

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Why did Justin Beiber cross the road? He didn't because he is still in the closet!

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Wanna know what my grandma said before she kicked the bucket? Hey grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?

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Patient: Hey doc, I think I might have a tumor... Doc: Don't worry, it's all in your head.

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a mom tell her kid not to play with knives ten years later tells her kid not to play with knives and the kid asks y and the mom says because ur older brother killed his father and himself playing with knives so the kid said mom i promise i wont do that then kils his mom and himself

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Phillip has 200 pieces of candy, Phillip eats 185 pieces of that candy, what does Phillip have left? Diabetes, Phillip has diabetes.

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A blond was driving her car one day when "Party in the USA" came one the radio. She put her hands up; however, she realized she had to keep control of the car. She put one hand back on the steering wheel and arrived to her destination safely.

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A man walks into a school, he then proceeds to gun down the majority of the students before taking his own life. What a sad, sad day.

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The 80's

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whats red that looks like ketchup taste like ketchup and is't tomato sorce? ketchup

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Q.why did the car crash? A.becaus eit was drivin by a sack of potatos.

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What is Justin Beiber's favorite pastime? According to his biography, it's reading science fiction novels

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Q. Which is bigger, a dog or the Statue of Liberty? (Trick question! Think carefully before looking at the answer!) A. The Statue of Liberty.

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How many Puerto Ricans does it take to clog the treads of my tank? Eight

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I used to be an adventurer like you... then I enlisted for much safer guard service with a more steady salary.

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Paperclip... BANANA?!

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what's worse than getting an unwarranted parking ticket? Serving a life sentence for killing the meter man.

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British Dentistry

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"Behold, the greatest invention Man has ever seen!" exclaimed the inventor of eyes.

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Why did Billy start crying? Becuase he's fat and stupid and noboy loves him

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What is the favorite song of Lady Di? no, that is a dead person and must be respected.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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