knock knock! fu ck off i'm a shift worker trying to sleep

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Haikus are rigid, Their structure gives them beauty, And if you ignore the structure they kind of don't make sense and are bad.

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Paperclip... BANANA?!

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what's worse than getting an unwarranted parking ticket? Serving a life sentence for killing the meter man.

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how many people can you eat? well, im not canniballistic, so none unless i was starving.

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what is worse then breaking on arm breaking two arms what is worse then breaking two arms the holocaust what is then the holocaust Obama care.

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shall i compare thee to a summers day, no, because thee are ugly, yay

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A blond was driving her car one day when "Party in the USA" came one the radio. She put her hands up; however, she realized she had to keep control of the car. She put one hand back on the steering wheel and arrived to her destination safely.

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A dog walks into a bar and asks for a pint.. But is immediately turned away as dogs are not allowed in pubs.

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What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Get it repaired.

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Did you hear about the blond who went to college? She got her masters. became and environmental scientist, married a nice man, and had two wonderful children. After retiring at age 65, she spent the rest of her days living in a cozy beachside house.

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I saw a man one day i saw him the next day and the next and the next i didn't see him ever again

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Why did Justin Beiber cross the road? He didn't because he is still in the closet!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Frank Frank who? I killed your grandma

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dumpster full of dead babies? There isn't a Ferrari in my garage.

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Q.why did the car crash? A.becaus eit was drivin by a sack of potatos.

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whats arrogant, has blonde hair and belongs in the kitchen? Gordon Ramsay

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? Try not to antagonise it.

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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What is the favorite song of Lady Di? no, that is a dead person and must be respected.

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Why did Billy start crying? Becuase he's fat and stupid and noboy loves him

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What is Justin Beiber's favorite pastime? According to his biography, it's reading science fiction novels

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Jake: "Guys Apple's new phone is going to be curved." Bob: "Who makes curved phones?" Jake: "Apple."

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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