How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

Wanna know what my grandma said before she kicked the bucket? Hey grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?

Your mom is so stupid she went back to collage and got her masters n buissnes.

"Lack of sleep" is that like... Sleep deprivation?

Q. Which is bigger, a dog or the Statue of Liberty? (Trick question! Think carefully before looking at the answer!) A. The Statue of Liberty.

What is the difference between you and I? I obviously have a life aas you don't because you are still reading these stupid jokes.

A man walks into a school, he then proceeds to gun down the majority of the students before taking his own life. What a sad, sad day.

Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

how many people can you eat? well, im not canniballistic, so none unless i was starving.

What did the the policeman say to the band member who trashed a hotel room? "You're under arrest" The band member replied "Well, you're under a vest" The policeman reiterates that this isn't the time to be making any jokes and that vandalism is a very serious offence

A dog walks into a bar and asks for a pint.. But is immediately turned away as dogs are not allowed in pubs.

Why did Justin Beiber cross the road? He didn't because he is still in the closet!

Patient: Hey doc, I think I might have a tumor... Doc: Don't worry, it's all in your head.

a mom tell her kid not to play with knives ten years later tells her kid not to play with knives and the kid asks y and the mom says because ur older brother killed his father and himself playing with knives so the kid said mom i promise i wont do that then kils his mom and himself

Phillip has 200 pieces of candy, Phillip eats 185 pieces of that candy, what does Phillip have left? Diabetes, Phillip has diabetes.

A blond was driving her car one day when "Party in the USA" came one the radio. She put her hands up; however, she realized she had to keep control of the car. She put one hand back on the steering wheel and arrived to her destination safely.

what do you call a disabled black man getting beat up? an unfortunate human

what's worse than finding 8 babies in 1 trash can? nuclear warfare

whats red that looks like ketchup taste like ketchup and is't tomato sorce? ketchup

What do you call a white person on a leash? A toddler.

how do you warm someone up? you set their house on fire.

Q.why did the car crash? A.becaus eit was drivin by a sack of potatos.

What is Justin Beiber's favorite pastime? According to his biography, it's reading science fiction novels

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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