Your mom is so stupid she went back to collage and got her masters n buissnes.

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knock knock your nana had a cardiac arrest and thankfull dead now

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Whats worse than a blonde jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car, and orphaning two little girls who are beat in the orphanage and become homeless and unimportant and consequently jumping off bridges themselves?

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A seal walks into a club.

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Why did Jim fall out of the tree? Because Jim is a leaf.

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Q: Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? A: He was looking for pooh

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If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? Well, a test is a well thought-out series of questions, usually used in schools to determine a students final grade.

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How was the fifty-four year old counselor in nineteen places at once? He was blasted by a cannonball.

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Q: a blonde, a brunette, and redhead jump off a cliff, which one hits the ground first? A: Most likely the one that weighs more

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dumpster full of dead babies? There isn't a Ferrari in my garage.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Say eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? IT WAS DEAD.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

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What is it called when your friend tells you that Justin Beiber was laid? Lying.

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What did the pope do when he saw the grinch? He prayed for his soul.

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Why did the black man die? Because he fell off a cliff.

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What is the favorite song of Lady Di? no, that is a dead person and must be respected.

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Two gay guys walk into a Hooters... They order cheese fries and enjoy their meal.

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Fine, you got me there, I have already made sure that you get your compensation, it is the least thing I can do you let me know if anyone claiming to be part of my order bothers you again, I promise I will personally enforce strict guidelines in order to ensure that such a thing never happens again. I hope you will trust me, I will no longer call it the Order of Nero, but as you know we cannot reveal the true name of our order. I also agree to meet you in person so we can further discuss this impeding situation which I will give top priority. Truth is Nero, that I used to be one of your co workers in the underground, and my attempts at saving what is left might not be as ideal as the goals we are set to achieve are, we simply cannot expect that people excel at greatness at the first go. Of course this grave incident is not even near a "mere lack of greatness" but rather a group of people that yes, sadly have rightfully claimed to be members of our society, yet I need you to come to terms that this was a huge oversight in my vision for a new and "improved" underground society, and not a intentional attack at you and your personal security. I submit to your demands, and I ask that you partake in a small number of meetings where we can all discuss and further develop the necessary guidelines required to further solidify our foundation.

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Phillip has 200 pieces of candy, Phillip eats 185 pieces of that candy, what does Phillip have left? Diabetes, Phillip has diabetes.

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How many Puerto Ricans does it take to clog the treads of my tank? Eight

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I used to be an adventurer like you... then I enlisted for much safer guard service with a more steady salary.

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what did the black guy say to the other black guy? good morning

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Your mom walks into a bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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