If you are riding a horse, how many watermelons does it take to kill a giraffe? Platypus.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dumpster full of dead babies? There isn't a Ferrari in my garage.

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how do you warm someone up? you set their house on fire.

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What do you call a submarine full of soldiers shot by a torpedo? Tragic war heros, that we will remember and honor

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Roses are Red Violets are blue Goldfish

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You can eat a pie. You can eat a chicken. But you cannot eat a human being because that would be called cannibalism and cannibalism is a felony that can give the government a right to hold you in an international detainment facility for up to 40 years.

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Why did Justin Beiber cross the road? He didn't because he is still in the closet!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A chicken doesn't need a motive to cross a road, it just does.

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what do you call a pig that knows karate? pork-chop!

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finding nemo didnt make sense how could a shark go on a no fish diet

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Two gay guys walk into a Hooters... They order cheese fries and enjoy their meal.

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Why didn't the hungry woman get up and make herself some food? She has Lou Gehrig disease and any movement she makes results in excruciating pain.

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roses are red, violets are blue my name is hitler, good bye jew

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how many people can you eat? well, im not canniballistic, so none unless i was starving.

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British Dentistry

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whats bright and yellow? the sun.

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What was the dying boy's last wish? Not to die.

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what did the black guy say to the other black guy? good morning

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Your mom is so stupid she went back to collage and got her masters n buissnes.

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Seen the new batman movie? [spoiler] the audience dies

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William and Kate do get off their ass and do something useful for once instead of hogging the cover of intouch magazine.

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A tiger walks into a bar. Clearly there is something wrong with animal control.

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Roses are red Roses are pink Roses are yellow Roses are white

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A blonde, brunette and redhead are stuck on an island that is a mile away from any civilisation.The blonde decides to swim to find help. The blonde swims half a mile, has a rest and then carries on swimming.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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