How many Puerto Ricans does it take to clog the treads of my tank? Eight

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British Dentistry

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What is it called when your friend tells you that Justin Beiber was laid? Lying.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had to arms. Knock knock Who's there? Well clearly not Sally

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What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Get it repaired.

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whats red that looks like ketchup taste like ketchup and is't tomato sorce? ketchup

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What do you call a white person on a leash? A toddler.

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What is the difference between you and I? I obviously have a life aas you don't because you are still reading these stupid jokes.

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I used to be an adventurer like you... then I enlisted for much safer guard service with a more steady salary.

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what's worse than getting an unwarranted parking ticket? Serving a life sentence for killing the meter man.

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Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

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Imagine Buzz Lightyear standing on the edge of a cliff. He jumps off hoping to fly. He manages to glide for a little bit until a bird crashes into him a cause one of his wings to break. What happens then? Simply imagine him turning into bird.

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"Behold, the greatest invention Man has ever seen!" exclaimed the inventor of eyes.

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Your mother is so succsessfull that she can have any job she wants, she is probally going to stick with her current job though, She is a lawyer.

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Wanna know what my grandma said before she kicked the bucket? Hey grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?

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Your mom is so stupid she went back to collage and got her masters n buissnes.

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What do you call a submarine full of soldiers shot by a torpedo? Tragic war heros, that we will remember and honor

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"Lack of sleep" is that like... Sleep deprivation?

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What did jell say to the carriage driver from Uzbekistan that was underpaid and had no banter? Oh My God ROFLMAOOTG (the last three are "on the ground") "I will beat you with a small child that I will soon feed to the T-Rex's" should be on the list.

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The 80's

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How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

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Why did Justin Beiber cross the road? He didn't because he is still in the closet!

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What is the favorite song of Lady Di? no, that is a dead person and must be respected.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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