Gues what makes me smile Mouth muscles

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Once upon a time, there was a gorilla who found Suzie. Suzie was mauled because she had no arms

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How many Puerto Ricans does it take to clog the treads of my tank? Eight

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British Dentistry

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What did the pope do when he saw the grinch? He prayed for his soul.

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If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? Well, a test is a well thought-out series of questions, usually used in schools to determine a students final grade.

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Q: Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? A: He was looking for pooh

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Why did the color blind man cut the red wire and accidentally blew himself up and all the other people involved in the situation? Because he didn't know how to defuse a bomb.

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

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What's white on the top and black on the bottom? Society.

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What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Get it repaired.

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Imagine Buzz Lightyear standing on the edge of a cliff. He jumps off hoping to fly. He manages to glide for a little bit until a bird crashes into him a cause one of his wings to break. What happens then? Simply imagine him turning into bird.

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I saw a man one day i saw him the next day and the next and the next i didn't see him ever again

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Flop dog

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Wanna know what my grandma said before she kicked the bucket? Hey grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?

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Why did the black man go to school? So he could graduate with a degree and persue his life in medicine. He later goes on to get his P.H.D. He now supports his healthy family of 5 and living in Idaho, the state of the potato. He has a job as a doctor and is making more than $2M a year. Ha, didn't expect that now did ya.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Say eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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What do you call a submarine full of soldiers shot by a torpedo? Tragic war heros, that we will remember and honor

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shall i compare thee to a summers day, no, because thee are ugly, yay

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Dear mom, I'm wearing skinny jeans. If I can't get them off, Neither can the rapist.

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What is the difference between you and I? I obviously have a life aas you don't because you are still reading these stupid jokes.

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"Knock Knock" "Who the hell is it?" "Patri..." "Go the hell away!"

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She was capable of loving and caring for a dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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