Why did the doctor have no peins? She was a woman.

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What happens when you put a squid in the microwave? It dies.

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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Why was the Blonde Crying? -because she had just witnessed her infant get sucked through a jet engine and was very sad.

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An elephant walks into a bar. He nearly levels the entire structure as he forced his way through the front door.

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Why did Jim fall out of the tree? Because Jim is a leaf.

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Andy Warhol said we will all be famous for fifteen minutes. My soccer coach molested me and the trial was televised, they obscured my face and voice because I was twelve at the time.

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A man walks into a bar. What's missing? The joke.

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why did the lion get lost? because the jungle is massive.

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What did one narwhal say to another Hi ;)

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dumpster full of dead babies? There isn't a Ferrari in my garage.

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Phillip has 200 pieces of candy, Phillip eats 185 pieces of that candy, what does Phillip have left? Diabetes, Phillip has diabetes.

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What is Michael Bay's favorite fruit? Melon

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Why couldn't Michael ask out Mary? Because Mary had been dead for dead for 10 years.

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Why did the Blonde say something stupid? Because she is stupid

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I dropped two snare drums and a cymbal down a hole earlier. They're probably broken now.

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What's black and blue and red all over Sex

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What's worse than finding a hair in your sandwitch? Finding a dead baby in your salad!

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Your mom is so stupid she went back to collage and got her masters n buissnes.

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Yo mama's so stupid.....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................uh jk

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How did the black man get out of the bathroom? He opened the door.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding your babies head in a microwave

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What is it called when your friend tells you that Justin Beiber was laid? Lying.

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A seal walks into a club.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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