No one walks into a bar. It is closed.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They are both eaten fifteen minutes later.

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Why do chinese firefighters wear white belts in their firefighting uniforms? So the their pants stay up.

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knock knock whos there not me

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder lately? No? Neither has he.

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How do you make a clown sad? Kill his family.

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Ever heard of a funny black guy? Me either

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What would you get if I your donkey ate my chickens legs? A court order to have them seperated.

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A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a bar and the bartender says "Hello. What could I get for you?" The black man had a Manhattan. The Hispanic man had a Bloody Mary. The Jew merely had water, as his religion forbids alcohol. The trio enjoy their drinks and then exit the establishment.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? - It was dead.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? The hooker is a human being whereas the onion is a vegetable.

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What did the boy say to the stranger at his door? He said, "i'm not supposed to talk to strangers" and closed the door.

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What is round and will hurt you if you step on it? The sun

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A tiger walks into a bar. Clearly there is something wrong with animal control.

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Adam said to God, "God, I need a companion." God replied, "OK Adam, but you need to give up a rib." Adam agreed and thus humanity was born.

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Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

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Jim: Can you shoot a basketball with one hand? Moe: There's no such thing as a basketball with one hand.

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What did the blind kid get for Christmas? A collection of braile children's reading books.

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Why was the bear gay. He grew up in a disfunctional home.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? He received many presents because his parents loved him very much.

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Jews.

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Why did hale say I have but one life to give for my country? He has one life

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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