Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he can't fly

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No one walks into a bar. It is closed.

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How do you call blond girl with no arms and no legs ? A victim of a tragic car accident.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I'm insecure about my body.

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Why didn't Joe's toaster work anymore? Because he dropped it into the bathtub with him.

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whats arrogant, has blonde hair and belongs in the kitchen? Gordon Ramsay

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why do pedo's molest children? because it feels really good.

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What's rock hard and is sharp? A rock...and my penis.

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What did the little orphan boy get for Christmas? Nothing because he had died six months prior to Christmas due to the horrible living conditions of the orphanage.

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What's the worst part about seeing a dead baby on the beach? The crushing sadness.

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Want to hear the best joke ever? Me too.

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I've got a joke for you. The people writing these jokes. Thats a joke.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? The hooker is a human being whereas the onion is a vegetable.

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Yo momma's so ugly, she decided to get plastic surgery and now has much higher self-esteem.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She never got her drivers license.

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Why did the girl suck the other guy off? to get paid

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Tell somebody that someone told you they look like an owl. When they say "Who?" laugh in their face

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A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

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Why did the man get off the bus? Penis

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What was the worst part about the Holocaust? -When it ended

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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Ever heard of a funny black guy? Me either

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? He received many presents because his parents loved him very much.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops