Knock knock! Who's there? Your mum. Oh hi mum, the doors unlocked

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What did the boy say to the stranger at his door? He said, "i'm not supposed to talk to strangers" and closed the door.

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What's blue and has two windows ? The sky, i lied about the windows.

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What is round and will hurt you if you step on it? The sun

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How did the Jew escape being put in the gas chamber? He killed himself.

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No one walks into a bar. It is closed.

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A tiger walks into a bar. Clearly there is something wrong with animal control.

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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Why did the girl throw butter out the window? She was suffering from an epileptic seizure.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder lately? No? Neither has he.

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What would you get if I your donkey ate my chickens legs? A court order to have them seperated.

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Im ashamed of being from Canada

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what is purple and hairy like a bear? A purple bear

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what do you call a man that looks like will ferrel? jim

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What's the animal that eats with its tail? All of them, since they won't take it off when they get to eat.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? The hooker is a human being whereas the onion is a vegetable.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? He received many presents because his parents loved him very much.

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What did the widow get for mothers day A miscarriage

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Adam said to God, "God, I need a companion." God replied, "OK Adam, but you need to give up a rib." Adam agreed and thus humanity was born.

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Why do chinese firefighters wear white belts in their firefighting uniforms? So the their pants stay up.

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Jim: Can you shoot a basketball with one hand? Moe: There's no such thing as a basketball with one hand.

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Why did hale say I have but one life to give for my country? He has one life

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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