What's gold and looks like a brick? A gold brick. What's gold and looks like a nugget? A gold nugget. Whats gold and like a car? Gold. I lied about the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Adam said to God, "God, I need a companion." God replied, "OK Adam, but you need to give up a rib." Adam agreed and thus humanity was born.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Jim: Can you shoot a basketball with one hand? Moe: There's no such thing as a basketball with one hand.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Ever heard of a funny black guy? Me either

thumb_up thumb_down -66

why do pedo's molest children? because it feels really good.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? The hooker is a human being whereas the onion is a vegetable.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

who drinks pee? katness

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is a pirate's favorite kind of pizza? Cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is round and will hurt you if you step on it? The sun

thumb_up thumb_down -1

whats white and cant climb a fence? a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down -19

knock knock whos there not me

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did the Asian man have a small penis? Because he was flaccid.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Have you seen Stevie Wonder lately? No? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a bar and the bartender says "Hello. What could I get for you?" The black man had a Manhattan. The Hispanic man had a Bloody Mary. The Jew merely had water, as his religion forbids alcohol. The trio enjoy their drinks and then exit the establishment.

thumb_up thumb_down -119

Want to hear the best joke ever? Me too.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? - It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Q: What is the difference between a tree and a women? A: your mom

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Once upon a time, your face.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why does a squid have 8 legs? It doesn't, it has 8 tentacles!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the widow get for mothers day A miscarriage

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

thumb_up thumb_down

what did the muffin say to the other muffin when they were in the oven? hi, im a muffin

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Max who Max Who's there Knock knock I'm dyslexic

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops