Max who Max Who's there Knock knock I'm dyslexic

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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Adam said to God, "God, I need a companion." God replied, "OK Adam, but you need to give up a rib." Adam agreed and thus humanity was born.

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Why do chinese firefighters wear white belts in their firefighting uniforms? So the their pants stay up.

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How do you make a clown sad? Kill his family.

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What would you get if I your donkey ate my chickens legs? A court order to have them seperated.

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What did the blind kid get for Christmas? A collection of braile children's reading books.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? He received many presents because his parents loved him very much.

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Why did hale say I have but one life to give for my country? He has one life

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Q: What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A: A blue plastic bag in the wind.

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the Holocaust. Because anything involving the Holocaust is automatically an anti joke. the Holocaust wasn't funny.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, this joke sucks.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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No one walks into a bar. It is closed.

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what did the muffin say to the other muffin when they were in the oven? hi, im a muffin

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Why didn't Joe's toaster work anymore? Because he dropped it into the bathtub with him.

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Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

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Im ashamed of being from Canada

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Why was the bear gay. He grew up in a disfunctional home.

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Jews.

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What did the boy say to the stranger at his door? He said, "i'm not supposed to talk to strangers" and closed the door.

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A tiger walks into a bar. Clearly there is something wrong with animal control.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't a drunk driver went off the street and hit the chicken and killed it on impact.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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