Q: What's Lindsay Lohan getting for Christmas? A: AIDS

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Paperclip... BANANA?!

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She never got her drivers license.

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What did the little boy with cancer say right before he died? Nothing. He was very sick and could not speak at all during his final weeks.

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Why does Brianne cry? Because she has no family.

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9/11

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There was a goat and it was eating McDonalds, I just farted and my nuts are itchy.

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whats red that looks like ketchup taste like ketchup and is't tomato sorce? ketchup

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Why can't the t-Rex clap..... Because it is dead

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Why does my ass hurt I played gmod with a blackpeople

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Yes and no, I am into literature, I am a writer, of how to rape and kill guides for the whole family (raping the whole family that is, again instructions for the whole family with inspirational quotes) Now give an example of each book to each family member without a cover stating what the book is... ...And after the first time, the world was never the same again.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue Goldfish

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Why was the teacher laying on the floor? Because shes dead...

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I'm so hungry I could eat food

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Roses are red violets are blue I hate rhyming pancakes

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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British Dentistry

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Q: What do you call a car full of black people? A: Stolen

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Roses are red Violets are red Oh god I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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Why did the man have 3 girlfriends? A: because he is a womanizer

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If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? Well, a test is a well thought-out series of questions, usually used in schools to determine a students final grade.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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