Im ashamed of being from Canada

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why did the man die? because he died.

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Haikus are rigid, Their structure gives them beauty, And if you ignore the structure they kind of don't make sense and are bad.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? It's a spicy sort of stew, you'd enjoy it.

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Jews.

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Roses are red Violets are red Oh god I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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Why was the baby crying? It wasn't it got hit by a bus and died.

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What has wheels and spins round and round? A dog in a wheelchair.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he happened to cross the road

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So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

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Why can't the t-Rex clap..... Because it is dead

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What's tastier than a dead baby? An orphaned dead baby.

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Knock Knock Whos there? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour who? Wait aren't you the one who's supposed to supposed tell the punchline? Oh Yeah

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Whoevers at the door you should probably go answer it.

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Yes and no, I am into literature, I am a writer, of how to rape and kill guides for the whole family (raping the whole family that is, again instructions for the whole family with inspirational quotes) Now give an example of each book to each family member without a cover stating what the book is... ...And after the first time, the world was never the same again.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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Q: Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? A: Because he's dead.

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Women's rights.

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Q: What's Lindsay Lohan getting for Christmas? A: AIDS

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other practices law for a living.

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What do you get when you combine KIA and NOKIA? A cheap vehicle with a cheap mobile phone inside.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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Once upon a time, your face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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