Roses are red Violets are red Oh god I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

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Why did the man have 3 girlfriends? A: because he is a womanizer

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Why was the baby crying? It wasn't it got hit by a bus and died.

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Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating at night? A: Yell "DROP IT NIGGAH!" Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating in the day time? A: Run away cause your house is haunted.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Hello, I'm here to deliver your groceries. Ok thank you, please leave them by the front door.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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How does a black guy who murdered his wife get out of jail? He serves his sentence and is allowed to return back home.

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what's red and green and goes 100 mph? a red and green car going over the speed limit.

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Knock Knock Whos there? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour who? Wait aren't you the one who's supposed to supposed tell the punchline? Oh Yeah

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Why was the black man afraid of the chainsaw? Because its a potentially dangerous weapon

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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whats worse that 3 black guys dieing in a train accident .... one was ur brother the other was gay

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What do a fish and a car have in common? They are both edible.

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Yes and no, I am into literature, I am a writer, of how to rape and kill guides for the whole family (raping the whole family that is, again instructions for the whole family with inspirational quotes) Now give an example of each book to each family member without a cover stating what the book is... ...And after the first time, the world was never the same again.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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if a dinosaurs could talk, what would they say nothing their all dead

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why did the kid fall over and break his neck? Because he slipped on the ice-cream from the kid who got hit by a bus.

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I'm so hungry I could eat food

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I used to be an adventurer like you... then I enlisted for much safer guard service with a more steady salary.

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Women's rights.

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Q: What's Lindsay Lohan getting for Christmas? A: AIDS

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roses are red, violets are blue my name is hitler, good bye jew

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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