What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other practices law for a living.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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Roses are red Violets are red Oh god I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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Why was the baby crying? It wasn't it got hit by a bus and died.

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What do you say to a black man on fire... Stop, drop and roll !!!

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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who drinks pee? katness

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What happened when the irishman left the bar? he didnt

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wat?

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Knock Knock Whos there? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour who? Wait aren't you the one who's supposed to supposed tell the punchline? Oh Yeah

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Two girls are sitting quietly.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because that it where his friend Bob lives.

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JFK

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Why did the Asian man have a small penis? Because he was flaccid.

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Your friend is so blonde that when she was born she had no hair but overtime it grew out and became blonde.

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Jews.

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Why are you going to thumbs this joke up? Because I use the words "Chuck Norris" Thus making it impossible to not thumbs up.

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Ya know how when geese fly in a V-shape, one side is longer than the other? -Yes Do you know why that is? -No Because there's more geese on that side

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Why was the Blonde Crying? -because she had just witnessed her infant get sucked through a jet engine and was very sad.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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What has wheels and spins round and round? A dog in a wheelchair.

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What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

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So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

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An elephant walks into a bar. He nearly levels the entire structure as he forced his way through the front door.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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