what did the poor kid get from santa? Nothing santa hates poor kid, but the rich kid got a very nice convertable.

thumb_up thumb_down -137

Why did the goblin have no friends? because no one likes a goblin, including other goblins.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

BALL SO HARD... That I got kicked off the team for intentionally fouling other players whenever I got on the court, I'm sorry

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How many black people does it take to change a light bulb. One, of course. Assuming he/she does not have any physical or mental handicaps.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the little boy with cancer say right before he died? Nothing. He was very sick and could not speak at all during his final weeks.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the baby crying? It wasn't it got hit by a bus and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what do you call a pig that knows karate? pork-chop!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

William and Kate do get off their ass and do something useful for once instead of hogging the cover of intouch magazine.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do a fish and a car have in common? They are both edible.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Hi

thumb_up thumb_down -36

A Brunette walks in to the docters office and says" Docter it hurts when i poke my self." She then pokes her arm and screams in agony. Then She pokes her leg and screams in agony. The Docter says "Are you really a brunette'' She replys "no im a Blonde." Docter says " oh then you have broken your finger"

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Why did the chicken cross the road? I have not seen chicken since I was very young, on my parents' farm. This is before the Cossacks slaughtered them. I can still hear screams of sister as soldiers ravaged her. But back to question, where did you see chicken? I am very, very hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

why did the chicken not cross the road? He ran

thumb_up thumb_down -58

How do you make a clown sad? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down -136

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? It's a spicy sort of stew, you'd enjoy it.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Roses are red Violets are red Oh god I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is a pirate's favorite kind of pizza? Cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

who drinks pee? katness

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops