Why did the Asian man have a small penis? Because he was flaccid.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

thumb_up thumb_down -171

Why was the bear gay. He grew up in a disfunctional home.

thumb_up thumb_down +118

Why was the teacher laying on the floor? Because shes dead...

thumb_up thumb_down +76

what do you call a man that looks like will ferrel? jim

thumb_up thumb_down +36

what's worse than getting an unwarranted parking ticket? Serving a life sentence for killing the meter man.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

the Holocaust. Because anything involving the Holocaust is automatically an anti joke. the Holocaust wasn't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the lion get lost? because the jungle is massive.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

whats white and cant climb a fence? a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the President Truman approve the use a nuke over Hiroshima? Sending Chuck Norris was widely considered to be too cruel.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other practices law for a living.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Get me a sandwich, bitch

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the boy eat the potato? I don't know. Neather do I. :(

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why does Brianne cry? Because she has no family.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's gold and looks like a brick? A gold brick. What's gold and looks like a nugget? A gold nugget. Whats gold and like a car? Gold. I lied about the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why do chinese firefighters wear white belts in their firefighting uniforms? So the their pants stay up.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Have you seen Stevie Wonder lately? No? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

What would you get if I your donkey ate my chickens legs? A court order to have them seperated.

thumb_up thumb_down -113

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops