What happens when you put a squid in the microwave? It dies.

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Q: What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A: A blue plastic bag in the wind.

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Tell somebody that someone told you they look like an owl. When they say "Who?" laugh in their face

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How did the Jew escape being put in the gas chamber? He killed himself.

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Mary Lu was swinging on a swing * swush swush* and her mom was sweeping the porch when she sad Mary Lu go get that big fat shiny quarter on that road then Mary Lu say how about you get your self that big fat shiny quarter.! Her mom drop the broom in discussed and walkout into the road and was bout to bend down when swush a bus runs her over And Mary Lu just laughed and laughed she knew that wasn't a big fat shiny quarter it was a nickel!!!!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like pancakes Ouch! That hurt!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme Others don't

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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Why did the Asian man have a small penis? Because he was flaccid.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder lately? No? Neither has he.

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Why did a young boy fall off a building? Gravity.

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Why did the boy eat his bagel? He was hungry.

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What is Justin Bieber + One less lonely girl. A BABY

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Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your mum. Oh hi mum, the doors unlocked

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What's blue and has two windows ? The sky, i lied about the windows.

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Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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What do you say to a black man on fire... Stop, drop and roll !!!

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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Knock knock. Who's there? I'm insecure about my body.

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Why did the girl throw butter out the window? She was suffering from an epileptic seizure.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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