what's red and green and goes 100 mph? a red and green car going over the speed limit.

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William and Kate do get off their ass and do something useful for once instead of hogging the cover of intouch magazine.

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Why do chinese firefighters wear white belts in their firefighting uniforms? So the their pants stay up.

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Yo mama's so stupid.....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................uh jk

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme Others don't

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lol

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Why was the bear gay. He grew up in a disfunctional home.

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why did the kid fall over and break his neck? Because he slipped on the ice-cream from the kid who got hit by a bus.

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what is purple and hairy like a bear? A purple bear

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Q: What is the difference between a tree and a women? A: your mom

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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whats worse that 3 black guys dieing in a train accident .... one was ur brother the other was gay

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Why did the Asian man have a small penis? Because he was flaccid.

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Poop

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what did the poor kid get from santa? Nothing santa hates poor kid, but the rich kid got a very nice convertable.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? It's a spicy sort of stew, you'd enjoy it.

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What's the animal that eats with its tail? All of them, since they won't take it off when they get to eat.

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Why did hale say I have but one life to give for my country? He has one life

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What do you call one black guy surrounded by eleven white guys? Wayne Simmonds

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A Mexican, and American, and a Chinese man are crossing the street. They all get hit by a car and die.

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Why did the blonde buy a hotdog? She didn't. She has chronic anorexia.

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So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

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No one walks into a bar. It is closed.

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Knock Knock There was no answer as the house was empty.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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