Why did the man cross the road? Because that it where his friend Bob lives.

JFK

Why did the Asian man have a small penis? Because he was flaccid.

Your friend is so blonde that when she was born she had no hair but overtime it grew out and became blonde.

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

Jews.

Roses are red Violets are red Oh god I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

Why did the man have 3 girlfriends? A: because he is a womanizer

What is the difference between a pizza and the Jews? The pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

Ya know how when geese fly in a V-shape, one side is longer than the other? -Yes Do you know why that is? -No Because there's more geese on that side

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

Why was the Blonde Crying? -because she had just witnessed her infant get sucked through a jet engine and was very sad.

9/11

What has wheels and spins round and round? A dog in a wheelchair.

What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

Q: John has 400 cookies, 200 hundred are chocolate chip and the rest are sugar. John eats 100 of each, what does he have now? A: Diabetes

So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

An elephant walks into a bar. He nearly levels the entire structure as he forced his way through the front door.

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

Mary Lu was swinging on a swing * swush swush* and her mom was sweeping the porch when she sad Mary Lu go get that big fat shiny quarter on that road then Mary Lu say how about you get your self that big fat shiny quarter.! Her mom drop the broom in discussed and walkout into the road and was bout to bend down when swush a bus runs her over And Mary Lu just laughed and laughed she knew that wasn't a big fat shiny quarter it was a nickel!!!!

whats worse that 3 black guys dieing in a train accident .... one was ur brother the other was gay

What do you get when you combine KIA and NOKIA? A cheap vehicle with a cheap mobile phone inside.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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