Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

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i am a dwarf i have a big nose im a ranga nice to meet you julia

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Get me a sandwich, bitch

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Why did the boy eat the potato? I don't know. Neather do I. :(

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What's blue and has two windows ? The sky, i lied about the windows.

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Why did susy give up in the corner? Cause she couldnt fight off the black man.

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Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he happened to cross the road

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Max who Max Who's there Knock knock I'm dyslexic

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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Why did the President Truman approve the use a nuke over Hiroshima? Sending Chuck Norris was widely considered to be too cruel.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I'm insecure about my body.

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knock knock whos there not me

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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Jim: Can you shoot a basketball with one hand? Moe: There's no such thing as a basketball with one hand.

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why do pedo's molest children? because it feels really good.

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Why did the boy eat his bagel? He was hungry.

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I'm so hungry I could eat food

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what do you call a man that looks like will ferrel? jim

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Why did the goblin have no friends? because no one likes a goblin, including other goblins.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? - It was dead.

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What's the animal that eats with its tail? All of them, since they won't take it off when they get to eat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops