Im ashamed of being from Canada

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Why did the boy eat the potato? I don't know. Neather do I. :(

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he happened to cross the road

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How do you call blond girl with no arms and no legs ? A victim of a tragic car accident.

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A blonde, brunette and redhead are stuck on an island that is a mile away from any civilisation.The blonde decides to swim to find help. The blonde swims half a mile, has a rest and then carries on swimming.

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What's rock hard and is sharp? A rock...and my penis.

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What's the animal that eats with its tail? All of them, since they won't take it off when they get to eat.

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What did the mime say when he met the clown. Nothing.

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what did the muffin say to the other muffin when they were in the oven? hi, im a muffin

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Why was the black man afraid of the chainsaw? Because its a potentially dangerous weapon

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Q: Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? A: Because he's dead.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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why do pedo's molest children? because it feels really good.

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Why did the boy eat his bagel? He was hungry.

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Magic is another word for "poorly perceived analysis of the mechanics of this complex instrumentality we call optical illusion."

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I'm so hungry I could eat food

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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what do you call a man that looks like will ferrel? jim

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? The hooker is a human being whereas the onion is a vegetable.

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Ya know how when geese fly in a V-shape, one side is longer than the other? -Yes Do you know why that is? -No Because there's more geese on that side

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What's blue and has two windows ? The sky, i lied about the windows.

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the Holocaust. Because anything involving the Holocaust is automatically an anti joke. the Holocaust wasn't funny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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