Q: John has 400 cookies, 200 hundred are chocolate chip and the rest are sugar. John eats 100 of each, what does he have now? A: Diabetes

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How did the Jew escape being put in the gas chamber? He killed himself.

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why did the little girl fall off the swing - she had no arms.

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What do a fish and a car have in common? They are both edible.

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Andrew: who's better at football, Peyton Manning or Tom Brady? Thomas: ur mom

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What did the priest say to the rabbi ? I'm gay.

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what did the poor kid get from santa? Nothing santa hates poor kid, but the rich kid got a very nice convertable.

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Im ashamed of being from Canada

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Q: What do you call a car full of black people? A: Stolen

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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Q: What do you call a pakistani that practices medice? A: Doctor

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What did the boy say to the stranger at his door? He said, "i'm not supposed to talk to strangers" and closed the door.

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What has wheels and spins round and round? A dog in a wheelchair.

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what do you call a pig that knows karate? pork-chop!

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An elephant walks into a bar. He nearly levels the entire structure as he forced his way through the front door.

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Yo momma is SO black.

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Two girls are sitting quietly.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why do chinese firefighters wear white belts in their firefighting uniforms? So the their pants stay up.

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A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a bar and the bartender says "Hello. What could I get for you?" The black man had a Manhattan. The Hispanic man had a Bloody Mary. The Jew merely had water, as his religion forbids alcohol. The trio enjoy their drinks and then exit the establishment.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He still lives there.

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Q: What's Lindsay Lohan getting for Christmas? A: AIDS

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the Holocaust. Because anything involving the Holocaust is automatically an anti joke. the Holocaust wasn't funny.

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Why was Thomas Jefferson chosen to write the Declaration of Independence? He was an educated man and seemed suitable for said job.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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