9/11

a man died

what do you call a pig that knows karate? pork-chop!

Q: John has 400 cookies, 200 hundred are chocolate chip and the rest are sugar. John eats 100 of each, what does he have now? A: Diabetes

What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A Pilot

*Knock Knock* Who's there? Hello, I'm here to deliver your groceries. Ok thank you, please leave them by the front door.

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

What's tastier than a dead baby? An orphaned dead baby.

What do a fish and a car have in common? They are both edible.

Two gay guys walk into a Hooters... They order cheese fries and enjoy their meal.

Hi

if a dinosaurs could talk, what would they say nothing their all dead

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

Im ashamed of being from Canada

why did the man die? because he died.

Jews.

Why are you going to thumbs this joke up? Because I use the words "Chuck Norris" Thus making it impossible to not thumbs up.

You are so gay you frequently, and consentingly are sodomized by men and frivolously enjoy it.

Why was the baby crying? It wasn't it got hit by a bus and died.

What has wheels and spins round and round? A dog in a wheelchair.

So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

Why can't the t-Rex clap..... Because it is dead

Mary Lu was swinging on a swing * swush swush* and her mom was sweeping the porch when she sad Mary Lu go get that big fat shiny quarter on that road then Mary Lu say how about you get your self that big fat shiny quarter.! Her mom drop the broom in discussed and walkout into the road and was bout to bend down when swush a bus runs her over And Mary Lu just laughed and laughed she knew that wasn't a big fat shiny quarter it was a nickel!!!!

Knock Knock Whos there? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour who? Wait aren't you the one who's supposed to supposed tell the punchline? Oh Yeah

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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