Why did the boy eat his bagel? He was hungry.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Wherever you left it

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Why did the goblin have no friends? because no one likes a goblin, including other goblins.

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what do you call a man that looks like will ferrel? jim

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i am a dwarf i have a big nose im a ranga nice to meet you julia

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What is the difference between a pizza and the Jews? The pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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What did the mime say when he met the clown. Nothing.

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Women's rights... Are a legitimate concern in today's society.

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Adam said to God, "God, I need a companion." God replied, "OK Adam, but you need to give up a rib." Adam agreed and thus humanity was born.

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What's older than history? Pre-history.

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Why do chinese firefighters wear white belts in their firefighting uniforms? So the their pants stay up.

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Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

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What is Michael Bay's favorite fruit? Melon

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

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Why was the bear gay. He grew up in a disfunctional home.

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Why was the teacher laying on the floor? Because shes dead...

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Want to hear the best joke ever? Me too.

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what's worse than getting an unwarranted parking ticket? Serving a life sentence for killing the meter man.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? The hooker is a human being whereas the onion is a vegetable.

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who drinks pee? katness

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Why does Brianne cry? Because she has no family.

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What is a pirate's favorite kind of pizza? Cheese.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he happened to cross the road

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what did the muffin say to the other muffin when they were in the oven? hi, im a muffin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops