Q: John has 400 cookies, 200 hundred are chocolate chip and the rest are sugar. John eats 100 of each, what does he have now? A: Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was the black man afraid of the chainsaw? Because its a potentially dangerous weapon

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They are both eaten fifteen minutes later.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Why did the boy eat his bagel? He was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -99

Why did the doctor have no peins? She was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +118

What's faster than a black guy with your TV? Probably someone who doesn't have to carry such a heavy object.

thumb_up thumb_down +80

What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? He received many presents because his parents loved him very much.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Ya know how when geese fly in a V-shape, one side is longer than the other? -Yes Do you know why that is? -No Because there's more geese on that side

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Get me a sandwich, bitch

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the boy eat the potato? I don't know. Neather do I. :(

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did the little girl fall off the swing - she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you call blond girl with no arms and no legs ? A victim of a tragic car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the homeless child get for Christmas? Leukemia

thumb_up thumb_down -30

how do you kill 1000 Ethiopians? throw a mars bar off a cliff!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

knock knock whos there not me

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did the Asian man have a small penis? Because he was flaccid.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Have you seen Stevie Wonder lately? No? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Poop

thumb_up thumb_down -58

A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a bar and the bartender says "Hello. What could I get for you?" The black man had a Manhattan. The Hispanic man had a Bloody Mary. The Jew merely had water, as his religion forbids alcohol. The trio enjoy their drinks and then exit the establishment.

thumb_up thumb_down -122

What's the difference between a monkey wrench and a snow cone? A lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops