Mary Lu was swinging on a swing * swush swush* and her mom was sweeping the porch when she sad Mary Lu go get that big fat shiny quarter on that road then Mary Lu say how about you get your self that big fat shiny quarter.! Her mom drop the broom in discussed and walkout into the road and was bout to bend down when swush a bus runs her over And Mary Lu just laughed and laughed she knew that wasn't a big fat shiny quarter it was a nickel!!!!

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No one walks into a bar. It is closed.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Andrew: who's better at football, Peyton Manning or Tom Brady? Thomas: ur mom

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Why women like NBA players so much? Because they have money.

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Why did a young boy fall off a building? Gravity.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder lately? No? Neither has he.

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What's the difference between a black man and a pile of shit ? One is a black man, the other is a pile of shit.

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When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

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Why was the bear gay. He grew up in a disfunctional home.

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Why couldn't the Irishman walk in a straight line? Because he was a retard.

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Yo momma's so ugly, she decided to get plastic surgery and now has much higher self-esteem.

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What has 142 teeth and can hold back the hulk? My zipper.

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who drinks pee? katness

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"Knock Knock" "Who the hell is it?" "Patri..." "Go the hell away!"

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What Does Alex J Simpsons Face have in Common with his hand? Spaghetti

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Why did the Dr love drop hit guitar? Because a bear walked into a bar and killed everyone in there including dr love and was then shot to death by police and animal control.

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Whats better than 1 dollar? 2 dollars.

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What did the the policeman say to the band member who trashed a hotel room? "You're under arrest" The band member replied "Well, you're under a vest" The policeman reiterates that this isn't the time to be making any jokes and that vandalism is a very serious offence

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A chicken doesn't need a motive to cross a road, it just does.

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What do a fish and a car have in common? They are both edible.

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Q: What does 'A' stand for? A: Effort

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who the hell keeps shiting in my garden

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Knock knock. Who's there? I'm insecure about my body.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops