Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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What did little Jimmy say when he met God ? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have not seen chicken since I was very young, on my parents' farm. This is before the Cossacks slaughtered them. I can still hear screams of sister as soldiers ravaged her. But back to question, where did you see chicken? I am very, very hungry.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

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why did the man die? because he died.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She never got her drivers license.

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Q: What do you call a pakistani that practices medice? A: Doctor

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

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A man goes to his drug dealer to buy Meth, there is no joke here, he is addicted to meth.

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I dont no the difference between their and there

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme Others don't

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What is the difference between you and I? I obviously have a life aas you don't because you are still reading these stupid jokes.

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Q: What do you call a car full of black people? A: Stolen

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What did the boy say to the stranger at his door? He said, "i'm not supposed to talk to strangers" and closed the door.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She was capable of loving and caring for a dog.

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What's worse than an apple with a worm? Serial Murder.

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What did the mime say when he met the clown. Nothing.

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? Try not to antagonise it.

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whats red that looks like ketchup taste like ketchup and is't tomato sorce? ketchup

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I saw a man one day i saw him the next day and the next and the next i didn't see him ever again

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Two girls are sitting quietly.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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