why did the lion get lost? because the jungle is massive.

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Seen the new batman movie? [spoiler] the audience dies

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why do pedo's molest children? because it feels really good.

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Knock knock. Who's there?

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

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What did jell say to the carriage driver from Uzbekistan that was underpaid and had no banter? Oh My God ROFLMAOOTG (the last three are "on the ground") "I will beat you with a small child that I will soon feed to the T-Rex's" should be on the list.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other practices law for a living.

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What did the the policeman say to the band member who trashed a hotel room? "You're under arrest" The band member replied "Well, you're under a vest" The policeman reiterates that this isn't the time to be making any jokes and that vandalism is a very serious offence

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Why was the Blonde Crying? -because she had just witnessed her infant get sucked through a jet engine and was very sad.

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your mammas so fat she has to buy pants in the xxlarge section of the store

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Q: a blonde, a brunette, and redhead jump off a cliff, which one hits the ground first? A: Most likely the one that weighs more

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Your mom walks into a bar.

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hi

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if a dinosaurs could talk, what would they say nothing their all dead

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What is Justin Beiber's favorite pastime? According to his biography, it's reading science fiction novels

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Why was the teacher laying on the floor? Because shes dead...

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A man walks into a school, he then proceeds to gun down the majority of the students before taking his own life. What a sad, sad day.

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Women's rights.

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how many people can you eat? well, im not canniballistic, so none unless i was starving.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A Pilot

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Why can't the t-Rex clap..... Because it is dead

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how do you warm someone up? you set their house on fire.

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WHO IS A CHIKEN???????????? I AM do you got a problem with that!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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