What happens when you put a squid in the microwave? It dies.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other practices law for a living.

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how many people can you eat? well, im not canniballistic, so none unless i was starving.

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Seen the new batman movie? [spoiler] the audience dies

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A Pilot

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how do you warm someone up? you set their house on fire.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dumpster full of dead babies? There isn't a Ferrari in my garage.

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WHO IS A CHIKEN???????????? I AM do you got a problem with that!!!!!!

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Knock knock. Who's there? I'm insecure about my body.

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if a dinosaurs could talk, what would they say nothing their all dead

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Knock knock. Who's there?

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

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A man walks into a school, he then proceeds to gun down the majority of the students before taking his own life. What a sad, sad day.

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What did jell say to the carriage driver from Uzbekistan that was underpaid and had no banter? Oh My God ROFLMAOOTG (the last three are "on the ground") "I will beat you with a small child that I will soon feed to the T-Rex's" should be on the list.

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your mammas so fat she has to buy pants in the xxlarge section of the store

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Q: a blonde, a brunette, and redhead jump off a cliff, which one hits the ground first? A: Most likely the one that weighs more

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Your mom walks into a bar.

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My brother found snow in his hair from last year... only people who know me know this joke!!haha -sopie

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Knock Knock Who's There? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'd never forget.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

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what did the angry asian man do after chrashing his car? He died later in the hospital that night from a combination of severe head trauma, internal bleeding, and various fractures.

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The 80's

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Why did susy give up in the corner? Cause she couldnt fight off the black man.

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whats red that looks like ketchup taste like ketchup and is't tomato sorce? ketchup

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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