What did the the policeman say to the band member who trashed a hotel room? "You're under arrest" The band member replied "Well, you're under a vest" The policeman reiterates that this isn't the time to be making any jokes and that vandalism is a very serious offence

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9/11

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your mammas so fat she has to buy pants in the xxlarge section of the store

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If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? Well, a test is a well thought-out series of questions, usually used in schools to determine a students final grade.

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What did the rap singer say to the other rap singer? "You just got served. Here, read this subpoena and sign it, verifying your understanding of the document."

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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Wanna know what my grandma said before she kicked the bucket? Hey grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?

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What's older than history? Pre-history.

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Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a canary! Yes, you are.

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WHO IS A CHIKEN???????????? I AM do you got a problem with that!!!!!!

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People eat. Thats because we poop. No its the other way around. Sloppy Joes. Thats what my poop looks like. Oh no im eating poop in between two buns!

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Jake: "Guys Apple's new phone is going to be curved." Bob: "Who makes curved phones?" Jake: "Apple."

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Why did a young boy fall off a building? Gravity.

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Why did people spend $100 on Kanye West's plain white T- shirt? Because it was a good looking T-shirt.

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Why couldn't the Irishman walk in a straight line? Because he was a retard.

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What's the difference between a monkey wrench and a snow cone? A lot.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She never got her drivers license.

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What's worse than an apple with a worm? Serial Murder.

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There was a goat and it was eating McDonalds, I just farted and my nuts are itchy.

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Seen the new batman movie? [spoiler] the audience dies

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Andrew: who's better at football, Peyton Manning or Tom Brady? Thomas: ur mom

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What did little Jimmy say when he met God ? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I'm insecure about my body.

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What would you get if I your donkey ate my chickens legs? A court order to have them seperated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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