A bear walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender knows that bears can't talk and realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and rolls over to tell his wife about the dream. She hears the joke, but turns away from him and pretends to be asleep. Then the bartender begins to cry. His marriage is in shambles.

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A seal walks into a club.

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"Knock Knock" "Who the hell is it?" "Patri..." "Go the hell away!"

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Q: Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? A: He was looking for pooh

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you ever put a vibrating phone on your b a l l s ???

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Whats big, purple and hairy. Has 4 eyes and 2 brains? Nothing.

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Two gay guys walk into a Hooters... They order cheese fries and enjoy their meal.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dumpster full of dead babies? There isn't a Ferrari in my garage.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Say eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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JFK

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? IT WAS DEAD.

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When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

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Why didn't the hungry woman get up and make herself some food? She has Lou Gehrig disease and any movement she makes results in excruciating pain.

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What do you call it when a black guy runs down a hill? A male of African descent sprinting down a geographical landform that extends above the surrounding terrain.

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British Dentistry

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Why did Henry jump of a cliff? He was in deep depression.

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Theres a black a guy and a mexican in a car, whos driving? The black guy, they are best friends and happen to both be neurosurgeons.

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What did the pope do when he saw the grinch? He prayed for his soul.

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What stinks and comes out of someones mouth. Bad Breath

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Why did Billy start crying? Becuase he's fat and stupid and noboy loves him

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? A disgusting halfbreed which prays daily for its own euthenasia...

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What is the favorite song of Lady Di? no, that is a dead person and must be respected.

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What do you call a submarine full of soldiers shot by a torpedo? Tragic war heros, that we will remember and honor

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Am I the boss.No I was just offered the job

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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