What did the rap singer say to the other rap singer? "You just got served. Here, read this subpoena and sign it, verifying your understanding of the document."

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What is the favorite song of Lady Di? no, that is a dead person and must be respected.

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Q. How much wood would a Wood-Chuck chuck if a Wood-Chuck could chuck wood? A. Wood-Chuck's clearly cant chuck would so what is the point of trying to figure out a question that would never take place in real life?

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Why did the black guy cross the road? i have no idea but i hope he got to the other side safely.

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What do you call a white person on a leash? A toddler.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Cancer

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People eat. Thats because we poop. No its the other way around. Sloppy Joes. Thats what my poop looks like. Oh no im eating poop in between two buns!

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Why couldn't Michael ask out Mary? Because Mary had been dead for dead for 10 years.

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Yo mama so fat, she was accepted to a clinical trial for treatment of morbid obesity in middle-aged women.

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What's white on the top and black on the bottom? Society.

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Why did the Blonde say something stupid? Because she is stupid

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Why didn't the hungry woman get up and make herself some food? She has Lou Gehrig disease and any movement she makes results in excruciating pain.

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What is a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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Why did Jim fall out of the tree? Because Jim is a leaf.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She was capable of loving and caring for a dog.

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Why did the black man go to school? So he could graduate with a degree and persue his life in medicine. He later goes on to get his P.H.D. He now supports his healthy family of 5 and living in Idaho, the state of the potato. He has a job as a doctor and is making more than $2M a year. Ha, didn't expect that now did ya.

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Q.why did the car crash? A.becaus eit was drivin by a sack of potatos.

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a mom tell her kid not to play with knives ten years later tells her kid not to play with knives and the kid asks y and the mom says because ur older brother killed his father and himself playing with knives so the kid said mom i promise i wont do that then kils his mom and himself

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Fine, you got me there, I have already made sure that you get your compensation, it is the least thing I can do you let me know if anyone claiming to be part of my order bothers you again, I promise I will personally enforce strict guidelines in order to ensure that such a thing never happens again. I hope you will trust me, I will no longer call it the Order of Nero, but as you know we cannot reveal the true name of our order. I also agree to meet you in person so we can further discuss this impeding situation which I will give top priority. Truth is Nero, that I used to be one of your co workers in the underground, and my attempts at saving what is left might not be as ideal as the goals we are set to achieve are, we simply cannot expect that people excel at greatness at the first go. Of course this grave incident is not even near a "mere lack of greatness" but rather a group of people that yes, sadly have rightfully claimed to be members of our society, yet I need you to come to terms that this was a huge oversight in my vision for a new and "improved" underground society, and not a intentional attack at you and your personal security. I submit to your demands, and I ask that you partake in a small number of meetings where we can all discuss and further develop the necessary guidelines required to further solidify our foundation.

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What did the black guy said when he ate a pie? Nothing, he learned not to speak with a full mouth.

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A dog walks into a bar and asks for a pint.. But is immediately turned away as dogs are not allowed in pubs.

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"Behold, the greatest invention Man has ever seen!" exclaimed the inventor of eyes.

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Flop dog

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What did the rabbit say to the frog? If you think the rabbit said anything, you need to see a psychiatrist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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