What's black and blue and red all over Sex

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What is a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had to arms. Knock knock Who's there? Well clearly not Sally

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what is it called when a woman is president. The Apacolypse.

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What came first: the chicken or the egg? God.

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Q: Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? A: He was looking for pooh

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Wanna know what my grandma said before she kicked the bucket? Hey grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?

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a ghost walks into a bar and sais BOO! The bartender then yelded AAAAHHH! and died of a hart attack.

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Patient: Hey doc, I think I might have a tumor... Doc: Don't worry, it's all in your head.

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What do you call a submarine full of soldiers shot by a torpedo? Tragic war heros, that we will remember and honor

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? IT WAS DEAD.

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whats arrogant, has blonde hair and belongs in the kitchen? Gordon Ramsay

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knock knock! fu ck off i'm a shift worker trying to sleep

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What did the the policeman say to the band member who trashed a hotel room? "You're under arrest" The band member replied "Well, you're under a vest" The policeman reiterates that this isn't the time to be making any jokes and that vandalism is a very serious offence

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You can eat a pie. You can eat a chicken. But you cannot eat a human being because that would be called cannibalism and cannibalism is a felony that can give the government a right to hold you in an international detainment facility for up to 40 years.

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What is it called when your friend tells you that Justin Beiber was laid? Lying.

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What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Get it repaired.

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Imagine Buzz Lightyear standing on the edge of a cliff. He jumps off hoping to fly. He manages to glide for a little bit until a bird crashes into him a cause one of his wings to break. What happens then? Simply imagine him turning into bird.

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What did the rap singer say to the other rap singer? "You just got served. Here, read this subpoena and sign it, verifying your understanding of the document."

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Knock Knock Who's there? Frank Frank who? I killed your grandma

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How do you confuse a blonde? Say eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Q. Which is bigger, a dog or the Statue of Liberty? (Trick question! Think carefully before looking at the answer!) A. The Statue of Liberty.

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shall i compare thee to a summers day, no, because thee are ugly, yay

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Why didn't the hungry woman get up and make herself some food? She has Lou Gehrig disease and any movement she makes results in excruciating pain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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