what is it called when a woman is president. The Apacolypse.

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Q: Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? A: He was looking for pooh

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She was capable of loving and caring for a dog.

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Why was Thomas Jefferson chosen to write the Declaration of Independence? He was an educated man and seemed suitable for said job.

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Why did the black man die? Because he fell off a cliff.

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If you are riding a horse, how many watermelons does it take to kill a giraffe? Platypus.

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how do you warm someone up? you set their house on fire.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Cancer

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dumpster full of dead babies? There isn't a Ferrari in my garage.

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What do you call a submarine full of soldiers shot by a torpedo? Tragic war heros, that we will remember and honor

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shall i compare thee to a summers day, no, because thee are ugly, yay

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When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

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What did the white guy say to the Mexican when he entered the US? How was your flight?

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Once upon a time, there was a gorilla who found Suzie. Suzie was mauled because she had no arms

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"Knock Knock" "Who the hell is it?" "Patri..." "Go the hell away!"

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What came first: the chicken or the egg? God.

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If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? Well, a test is a well thought-out series of questions, usually used in schools to determine a students final grade.

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Then help me understand Nero, people had the free and legal right to decide to be a part of our, or your society if you prefer, where has that option gone now? Where is the people that choose to believe in their own potential and in the one of their equals? Today we live in a society where its basically pop culture to dislike oneself, where it is considered narcissism to like oneself, and you know that we have both been affected, while those we considered allies before, have joined the same people that branded us evil.

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Your mother is so succsessfull that she can have any job she wants, she is probally going to stick with her current job though, She is a lawyer.

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what do you call a black man on the moon? Kid Cudi

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Yo mama so fat, she was accepted to a clinical trial for treatment of morbid obesity in middle-aged women.

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knock knock! fu ck off i'm a shift worker trying to sleep

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Why didn't the hungry woman get up and make herself some food? She has Lou Gehrig disease and any movement she makes results in excruciating pain.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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