What did the the policeman say to the band member who trashed a hotel room? "You're under arrest" The band member replied "Well, you're under a vest" The policeman reiterates that this isn't the time to be making any jokes and that vandalism is a very serious offence

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what is worse then breaking on arm breaking two arms what is worse then breaking two arms the holocaust what is then the holocaust Obama care.

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If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? Well, a test is a well thought-out series of questions, usually used in schools to determine a students final grade.

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What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Get it repaired.

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If you are riding a horse, how many watermelons does it take to kill a giraffe? Platypus.

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"Lack of sleep" is that like... Sleep deprivation?

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whats arrogant, has blonde hair and belongs in the kitchen? Gordon Ramsay

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Why couldn't Michael ask out Mary? Because Mary had been dead for dead for 10 years.

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Yidi Huang lives here.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She was capable of loving and caring for a dog.

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a man died

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What is the favorite song of Lady Di? no, that is a dead person and must be respected.

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Why did Justin Beiber cross the road? He didn't because he is still in the closet!

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Wanna know what my grandma said before she kicked the bucket? Hey grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?

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What did little Jimmy say when he met God ? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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Phillip has 200 pieces of candy, Phillip eats 185 pieces of that candy, what does Phillip have left? Diabetes, Phillip has diabetes.

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What do you call a submarine full of soldiers shot by a torpedo? Tragic war heros, that we will remember and honor

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Why was the little boy sad? Cause his mum died of a terminal illness. Why was the little girl sad? Cause she was his sibling.

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Why didn't the hungry woman get up and make herself some food? She has Lou Gehrig disease and any movement she makes results in excruciating pain.

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Dear mom, I'm wearing skinny jeans. If I can't get them off, Neither can the rapist.

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Paperclip... BANANA?!

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? Try not to antagonise it.

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Why did Jim fall out of the tree? Because Jim is a leaf.

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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