You can eat a pie. You can eat a chicken. But you cannot eat a human being because that would be called cannibalism and cannibalism is a felony that can give the government a right to hold you in an international detainment facility for up to 40 years.

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What did the black guy said when he ate a pie? Nothing, he learned not to speak with a full mouth.

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What is a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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What came first: the chicken or the egg? God.

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Did you hear about the blond who went to college? She got her masters. became and environmental scientist, married a nice man, and had two wonderful children. After retiring at age 65, she spent the rest of her days living in a cozy beachside house.

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Yidi Huang lives here.

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What's worse than finding a hair in your sandwitch? Finding a dead baby in your salad!

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Wanna know what my grandma said before she kicked the bucket? Hey grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?

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If you are riding a horse, how many watermelons does it take to kill a giraffe? Platypus.

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how do you warm someone up? you set their house on fire.

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What did little Jimmy say when he met God ? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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Why couldn't Michael ask out Mary? Because Mary had been dead for dead for 10 years.

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shall i compare thee to a summers day, no, because thee are ugly, yay

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Dear mom, I'm wearing skinny jeans. If I can't get them off, Neither can the rapist.

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Paperclip... BANANA?!

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A dog walks into a bar and asks for a pint.. But is immediately turned away as dogs are not allowed in pubs.

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Why did Jim fall out of the tree? Because Jim is a leaf.

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What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Get it repaired.

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If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? Well, a test is a well thought-out series of questions, usually used in schools to determine a students final grade.

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Why did Justin Beiber cross the road? He didn't because he is still in the closet!

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Q. How much wood would a Wood-Chuck chuck if a Wood-Chuck could chuck wood? A. Wood-Chuck's clearly cant chuck would so what is the point of trying to figure out a question that would never take place in real life?

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whats arrogant, has blonde hair and belongs in the kitchen? Gordon Ramsay

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knock knock! fu ck off i'm a shift worker trying to sleep

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A blond was driving her car one day when "Party in the USA" came one the radio. She put her hands up; however, she realized she had to keep control of the car. She put one hand back on the steering wheel and arrived to her destination safely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops