whats worse that 3 black guys dieing in a train accident .... one was ur brother the other was gay

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -20

"Behold, the greatest invention Man has ever seen!" exclaimed the inventor of eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why was the fish disappointed with his grades? They were all below C-level!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

thumb_up thumb_down -124

Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

thumb_up thumb_down -134

What is green with wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -154

why did the man die? because he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +123

How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon? 5 comfortably

thumb_up thumb_down +107

What is the difference between you and I? I obviously have a life aas you don't because you are still reading these stupid jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? The hooker is a human being whereas the onion is a vegetable.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

I dropped two snare drums and a cymbal down a hole earlier. They're probably broken now.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is the difference between a pizza and the Jews? The pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Ya know how when geese fly in a V-shape, one side is longer than the other? -Yes Do you know why that is? -No Because there's more geese on that side

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How did the Jew escape being put in the gas chamber? He killed himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why is thus joke stupid? because it is! deal with it!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he can't fly

thumb_up thumb_down -9

William and Kate do get off their ass and do something useful for once instead of hogging the cover of intouch magazine.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the the man not take acting? He wasn't good at it.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock knock Who's There? Idk, who the **** names their kid There?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Your mother is so succsessfull that she can have any job she wants, she is probally going to stick with her current job though, She is a lawyer.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops