Wanna know what my grandma said before she kicked the bucket? Hey grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down -134

what is worse then breaking on arm breaking two arms what is worse then breaking two arms the holocaust what is then the holocaust Obama care.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the pope do when he saw the grinch? He prayed for his soul.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? A: He was looking for pooh

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the rap singer say to the other rap singer? "You just got served. Here, read this subpoena and sign it, verifying your understanding of the document."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was Thomas Jefferson chosen to write the Declaration of Independence? He was an educated man and seemed suitable for said job.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the black man die? Because he fell off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two gay guys walk into a Hooters... They order cheese fries and enjoy their meal.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

knock knock your nana had a cardiac arrest and thankfull dead now

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What is white and when it falls, your fridge is broken? Your fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

A bear walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender knows that bears can't talk and realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and rolls over to tell his wife about the dream. She hears the joke, but turns away from him and pretends to be asleep. Then the bartender begins to cry. His marriage is in shambles.

thumb_up thumb_down +120

What do you call it when a black guy runs down a hill? A male of African descent sprinting down a geographical landform that extends above the surrounding terrain.

thumb_up thumb_down +102

A seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

"Knock Knock" "Who the hell is it?" "Patri..." "Go the hell away!"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

you ever put a vibrating phone on your b a l l s ???

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your mother is so succsessfull that she can have any job she wants, she is probally going to stick with her current job though, She is a lawyer.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats big, purple and hairy. Has 4 eyes and 2 brains? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dumpster full of dead babies? There isn't a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you confuse a blonde? Say eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you call a pakie flying a plane The pilot... or a terrorist it up to you

thumb_up thumb_down -28

JFK

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? IT WAS DEAD.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why didn't the hungry woman get up and make herself some food? She has Lou Gehrig disease and any movement she makes results in excruciating pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +147

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops