Q. How much wood would a Wood-Chuck chuck if a Wood-Chuck could chuck wood? A. Wood-Chuck's clearly cant chuck would so what is the point of trying to figure out a question that would never take place in real life?

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Why did the black man go to school? So he could graduate with a degree and persue his life in medicine. He later goes on to get his P.H.D. He now supports his healthy family of 5 and living in Idaho, the state of the potato. He has a job as a doctor and is making more than $2M a year. Ha, didn't expect that now did ya.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Cancer

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Backwards write to fun is it. As long as its forward. Emu

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People eat. Thats because we poop. No its the other way around. Sloppy Joes. Thats what my poop looks like. Oh no im eating poop in between two buns!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. "Knock, Knock!" "Who's there?" "Not Sally"

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a mom tell her kid not to play with knives ten years later tells her kid not to play with knives and the kid asks y and the mom says because ur older brother killed his father and himself playing with knives so the kid said mom i promise i wont do that then kils his mom and himself

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whats arrogant, has blonde hair and belongs in the kitchen? Gordon Ramsay

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knock knock! fu ck off i'm a shift worker trying to sleep

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What's black and blue and red all over Sex

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Flop dog

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? IT WAS DEAD.

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Why didn't the hungry woman get up and make herself some food? She has Lou Gehrig disease and any movement she makes results in excruciating pain.

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Dear mom, I'm wearing skinny jeans. If I can't get them off, Neither can the rapist.

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A blond was driving her car one day when "Party in the USA" came one the radio. She put her hands up; however, she realized she had to keep control of the car. She put one hand back on the steering wheel and arrived to her destination safely.

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You can eat a pie. You can eat a chicken. But you cannot eat a human being because that would be called cannibalism and cannibalism is a felony that can give the government a right to hold you in an international detainment facility for up to 40 years.

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A dog walks into a bar and asks for a pint.. But is immediately turned away as dogs are not allowed in pubs.

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What did the rap singer say to the other rap singer? "You just got served. Here, read this subpoena and sign it, verifying your understanding of the document."

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What do you call a white person on a leash? A toddler.

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What did the rabbit say to the frog? If you think the rabbit said anything, you need to see a psychiatrist.

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Q.why did the car crash? A.becaus eit was drivin by a sack of potatos.

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Watermelons don't have feet.

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what's worse than getting an unwarranted parking ticket? Serving a life sentence for killing the meter man.

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Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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