A dog walks into a bar and asks for a pint.. But is immediately turned away as dogs are not allowed in pubs.

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Did you hear about the blond who went to college? She got her masters. became and environmental scientist, married a nice man, and had two wonderful children. After retiring at age 65, she spent the rest of her days living in a cozy beachside house.

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What's worse than finding a hair in your sandwitch? Finding a dead baby in your salad!

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Q. How much wood would a Wood-Chuck chuck if a Wood-Chuck could chuck wood? A. Wood-Chuck's clearly cant chuck would so what is the point of trying to figure out a question that would never take place in real life?

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Why did the black guy cross the road? i have no idea but i hope he got to the other side safely.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why couldn't Michael ask out Mary? Because Mary had been dead for dead for 10 years.

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Dear mom, I'm wearing skinny jeans. If I can't get them off, Neither can the rapist.

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What did the the policeman say to the band member who trashed a hotel room? "You're under arrest" The band member replied "Well, you're under a vest" The policeman reiterates that this isn't the time to be making any jokes and that vandalism is a very serious offence

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If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? Well, a test is a well thought-out series of questions, usually used in schools to determine a students final grade.

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What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Get it repaired.

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Wanna know what my grandma said before she kicked the bucket? Hey grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?

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If you are riding a horse, how many watermelons does it take to kill a giraffe? Platypus.

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Phillip has 200 pieces of candy, Phillip eats 185 pieces of that candy, what does Phillip have left? Diabetes, Phillip has diabetes.

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whats arrogant, has blonde hair and belongs in the kitchen? Gordon Ramsay

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Paperclip... BANANA?!

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a man died

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Why did Jim fall out of the tree? Because Jim is a leaf.

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The 80's

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What is the favorite song of Lady Di? no, that is a dead person and must be respected.

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Why did Justin Beiber cross the road? He didn't because he is still in the closet!

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you ever put a vibrating phone on your b a l l s ???

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What was the worst part about the Holocaust? -When it ended

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What do you call a submarine full of soldiers shot by a torpedo? Tragic war heros, that we will remember and honor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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