Roses are red Violets are red Oh god I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

A kid falls off a cliff and dies. Who cleans them up? A bear.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't a drunk driver went off the street and hit the chicken and killed it on impact.

knock knock your nana had a cardiac arrest and thankfull dead now

Why did the man pick the flower? Because he didn't like flowers.

"Lack of sleep" is that like... Sleep deprivation?

Whats worse than a blonde jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car, and orphaning two little girls who are beat in the orphanage and become homeless and unimportant and consequently jumping off bridges themselves?

British Dentistry

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

how do you have a great time in a college town you don't

"Behold, the greatest invention Man has ever seen!" exclaimed the inventor of eyes.

What do a fish and a car have in common? They are both edible.

A man goes to his drug dealer to buy Meth, there is no joke here, he is addicted to meth.

What's older than history? Pre-history.

What do you eat for breakfast and is sometimes blue? Pancakes.

Why did the boy eat his bagel? He was hungry.

A kid walked in to a bar, grabbed a napkin, and left

Yo momma's so ugly, she decided to get plastic surgery and now has much higher self-esteem.

"Knock Knock" "Who the hell is it?" "Patri..." "Go the hell away!"

Whats better than 1 dollar? 2 dollars.

If life gives you lemons, you shoud be thankful it didn't give you AIDS.

Ever hear the joke about the black guy going to jail its not a joke.

Why can't the t-Rex clap..... Because it is dead

Q: Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? A: Because he's dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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