Why was the Blonde Crying? -because she had just witnessed her infant get sucked through a jet engine and was very sad.

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"Knock Knock" "Who the hell is it?" "Patri..." "Go the hell away!"

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A dog walks into a bar and asks for a pint.. But is immediately turned away as dogs are not allowed in pubs.

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The 80's

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What did the rap singer say to the other rap singer? "You just got served. Here, read this subpoena and sign it, verifying your understanding of the document."

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why did the lion get lost? because the jungle is massive.

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Why did Justin Beiber cross the road? He didn't because he is still in the closet!

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Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating at night? A: Yell "DROP IT NIGGAH!" Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating in the day time? A: Run away cause your house is haunted.

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how do you warm someone up? you set their house on fire.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? IT WAS DEAD.

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Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

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what did the angry asian man do after chrashing his car? He died later in the hospital that night from a combination of severe head trauma, internal bleeding, and various fractures.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? Try not to antagonise it.

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Patient: Hey doc, I think I might have a tumor... Doc: Don't worry, it's all in your head.

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I love you, you live me. Now get the FUDGE out of the tree!!!

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What did little Jimmy say when he met God ? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have not seen chicken since I was very young, on my parents' farm. This is before the Cossacks slaughtered them. I can still hear screams of sister as soldiers ravaged her. But back to question, where did you see chicken? I am very, very hungry.

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why do pedo's molest children? because it feels really good.

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Q: What's Lindsay Lohan getting for Christmas? A: AIDS

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

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What's the difference between a monkey wrench and a snow cone? A lot.

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Theres a black a guy and a mexican in a car, whos driving? The black guy, they are best friends and happen to both be neurosurgeons.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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