What did little Jimmy say when he met God ? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

What do you call a submarine full of soldiers shot by a torpedo? Tragic war heros, that we will remember and honor

What do you Call L.L. Cool J's mexican cousin? El El Bean

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

Knock knock! Who's there? Your mum. Oh hi mum, the doors unlocked

Q: What do you call a pakistani that practices medice? A: Doctor

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did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg? he's all right now

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She was capable of loving and caring for a dog.

What did the rap singer say to the other rap singer? "You just got served. Here, read this subpoena and sign it, verifying your understanding of the document."

Q: a blonde, a brunette, and redhead jump off a cliff, which one hits the ground first? A: Most likely the one that weighs more

how do you warm someone up? you set their house on fire.

Patient: Hey doc, I think I might have a tumor... Doc: Don't worry, it's all in your head.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme Others don't

Why did the man shut up? because he was told to

Once upon a time, there was a gorilla who found Suzie. Suzie was mauled because she had no arms

Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

"Knock Knock" "Who the hell is it?" "Patri..." "Go the hell away!"

A seal walks into a club.

what did the angry asian man do after chrashing his car? He died later in the hospital that night from a combination of severe head trauma, internal bleeding, and various fractures.

How do you stop a rhino from charging? Try not to antagonise it.

What did one narwhal say to another Hi ;)

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? IT WAS DEAD.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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