What does Helen Keller put at the end of every sentence? A period.

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What did jell say to the carriage driver from Uzbekistan that was underpaid and had no banter? Oh My God ROFLMAOOTG (the last three are "on the ground") "I will beat you with a small child that I will soon feed to the T-Rex's" should be on the list.

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The 80's

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Seen the new batman movie? [spoiler] the audience dies

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Why can't the t-Rex clap..... Because it is dead

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how do you warm someone up? you set their house on fire.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I'm insecure about my body.

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Knock knock. Who's there?

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My brother found snow in his hair from last year... only people who know me know this joke!!haha -sopie

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? It's a spicy sort of stew, you'd enjoy it.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other practices law for a living.

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What did the the policeman say to the band member who trashed a hotel room? "You're under arrest" The band member replied "Well, you're under a vest" The policeman reiterates that this isn't the time to be making any jokes and that vandalism is a very serious offence

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Why was the Blonde Crying? -because she had just witnessed her infant get sucked through a jet engine and was very sad.

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your mammas so fat she has to buy pants in the xxlarge section of the store

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why did the lion get lost? because the jungle is massive.

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Your mom walks into a bar.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dumpster full of dead babies? There isn't a Ferrari in my garage.

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Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a canary! Yes, you are.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because that it where his friend Bob lives.

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What is Justin Beiber's favorite pastime? According to his biography, it's reading science fiction novels

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Why couldn't the Irishman walk in a straight line? Because he was a retard.

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A man walks into a school, he then proceeds to gun down the majority of the students before taking his own life. What a sad, sad day.

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Women's rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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