Phillip has 200 pieces of candy, Phillip eats 185 pieces of that candy, what does Phillip have left? Diabetes, Phillip has diabetes.

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Dear mom, I'm wearing skinny jeans. If I can't get them off, Neither can the rapist.

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What stinks and comes out of someones mouth. Bad Breath

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If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? Well, a test is a well thought-out series of questions, usually used in schools to determine a students final grade.

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Your mother is so succsessfull that she can have any job she wants, she is probally going to stick with her current job though, She is a lawyer.

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People eat. Thats because we poop. No its the other way around. Sloppy Joes. Thats what my poop looks like. Oh no im eating poop in between two buns!

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What do you call a submarine full of soldiers shot by a torpedo? Tragic war heros, that we will remember and honor

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Why was the little boy sad? Cause his mum died of a terminal illness. Why was the little girl sad? Cause she was his sibling.

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who is still together after all the crap they have been through? your butt cheeks

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what's worse than finding 8 babies in 1 trash can? nuclear warfare

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Why was the Blonde Crying? -because she had just witnessed her infant get sucked through a jet engine and was very sad.

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? Try not to antagonise it.

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What did the young boy say to the adorable kitten? "Aww"

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Then help me understand Nero, people had the free and legal right to decide to be a part of our, or your society if you prefer, where has that option gone now? Where is the people that choose to believe in their own potential and in the one of their equals? Today we live in a society where its basically pop culture to dislike oneself, where it is considered narcissism to like oneself, and you know that we have both been affected, while those we considered allies before, have joined the same people that branded us evil.

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a ghost walks into a bar and sais BOO! The bartender then yelded AAAAHHH! and died of a hart attack.

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What did the pope do when he saw the grinch? He prayed for his soul.

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"Behold, the greatest invention Man has ever seen!" exclaimed the inventor of eyes.

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Wanna know what my grandma said before she kicked the bucket? Hey grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?

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How do you fit 6000000 jews into a car? 1 in the front, 1 in the back and the rest in the ashtray.

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What did little Jimmy say when he met God ? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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shall i compare thee to a summers day, no, because thee are ugly, yay

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What's black and blue and red all over Sex

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Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

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"Knock Knock" "Who the hell is it?" "Patri..." "Go the hell away!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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