What did the black guy said when he ate a pie? Nothing, he learned not to speak with a full mouth.

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"Behold, the greatest invention Man has ever seen!" exclaimed the inventor of eyes.

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Flop dog

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What's older than history? Pre-history.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. "Knock, Knock!" "Who's there?" "Not Sally"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? IT WAS DEAD.

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"Lack of sleep" is that like... Sleep deprivation?

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whats arrogant, has blonde hair and belongs in the kitchen? Gordon Ramsay

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What is the difference between you and I? I obviously have a life aas you don't because you are still reading these stupid jokes.

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Watermelons don't have feet.

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What's black and blue and red all over Sex

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what's worse than getting an unwarranted parking ticket? Serving a life sentence for killing the meter man.

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What is it called when your friend tells you that Justin Beiber was laid? Lying.

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What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Get it repaired.

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Your mother is so succsessfull that she can have any job she wants, she is probally going to stick with her current job though, She is a lawyer.

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Your mom is so stupid she went back to collage and got her masters n buissnes.

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What do you call a submarine full of soldiers shot by a torpedo? Tragic war heros, that we will remember and honor

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How many Puerto Ricans does it take to clog the treads of my tank? Eight

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I used to be an adventurer like you... then I enlisted for much safer guard service with a more steady salary.

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whats red that looks like ketchup taste like ketchup and is't tomato sorce? ketchup

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Wanna know what my grandma said before she kicked the bucket? Hey grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?

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Q: Why were the two elephants kicked off the beach? A: They were both level 4 sex offenders.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because that it where his friend Bob lives.

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What did jell say to the carriage driver from Uzbekistan that was underpaid and had no banter? Oh My God ROFLMAOOTG (the last three are "on the ground") "I will beat you with a small child that I will soon feed to the T-Rex's" should be on the list.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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