matt shut up

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A seal walks into a club.

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Why did the color blind man cut the red wire and accidentally blew himself up and all the other people involved in the situation? Because he didn't know how to defuse a bomb.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. "Knock, Knock!" "Who's there?" "Not Sally"

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Why did the man shut up? because he was told to

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What's white on the top and black on the bottom? Society.

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A Jew, an African American, and a homosexual are on an island. They all came to Manhattan for different reasons and are enjoying the lives they've built there.

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A man walks into the bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "Oh, sorry." And proceeds to remove his horse mask.

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What did the pope do when he saw the grinch? He prayed for his soul.

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"Behold, the greatest invention Man has ever seen!" exclaimed the inventor of eyes.

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Why did susy give up in the corner? Cause she couldnt fight off the black man.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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What did the rabbit say to the frog? If you think the rabbit said anything, you need to see a psychiatrist.

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Gues what makes me smile Mouth muscles

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What is the difference between you and I? I obviously have a life aas you don't because you are still reading these stupid jokes.

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"Knock Knock" "Who the hell is it?" "Patri..." "Go the hell away!"

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What is it called when your friend tells you that Justin Beiber was laid? Lying.

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Q: What did the bartender say to the Arab as he was walking in? A: Nothing, the bomb had already killed them both.

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Flop dog

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Yo mama's so stupid.....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................uh jk

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What do you get if you cross a Black Man with a Knife? Stabbed.

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I dont no the difference between their and there

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What is Justin Beiber's favorite pastime? According to his biography, it's reading science fiction novels

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Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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