Fine, you got me there, I have already made sure that you get your compensation, it is the least thing I can do you let me know if anyone claiming to be part of my order bothers you again, I promise I will personally enforce strict guidelines in order to ensure that such a thing never happens again. I hope you will trust me, I will no longer call it the Order of Nero, but as you know we cannot reveal the true name of our order. I also agree to meet you in person so we can further discuss this impeding situation which I will give top priority. Truth is Nero, that I used to be one of your co workers in the underground, and my attempts at saving what is left might not be as ideal as the goals we are set to achieve are, we simply cannot expect that people excel at greatness at the first go. Of course this grave incident is not even near a "mere lack of greatness" but rather a group of people that yes, sadly have rightfully claimed to be members of our society, yet I need you to come to terms that this was a huge oversight in my vision for a new and "improved" underground society, and not a intentional attack at you and your personal security. I submit to your demands, and I ask that you partake in a small number of meetings where we can all discuss and further develop the necessary guidelines required to further solidify our foundation.

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What is the difference between you and I? I obviously have a life aas you don't because you are still reading these stupid jokes.

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Then help me understand Nero, people had the free and legal right to decide to be a part of our, or your society if you prefer, where has that option gone now? Where is the people that choose to believe in their own potential and in the one of their equals? Today we live in a society where its basically pop culture to dislike oneself, where it is considered narcissism to like oneself, and you know that we have both been affected, while those we considered allies before, have joined the same people that branded us evil.

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Why did Jim fall out of the tree? Because Jim is a leaf.

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Q: Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? A: He was looking for pooh

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Andy Warhol said we will all be famous for fifteen minutes. My soccer coach molested me and the trial was televised, they obscured my face and voice because I was twelve at the time.

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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Flop dog

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Wanna know what my grandma said before she kicked the bucket? Hey grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?

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How do you fit 6000000 jews into a car? 1 in the front, 1 in the back and the rest in the ashtray.

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"Lack of sleep" is that like... Sleep deprivation?

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British Dentistry

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What did the pope do when he saw the grinch? He prayed for his soul.

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What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Get it repaired.

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Why did Billy start crying? Becuase he's fat and stupid and noboy loves him

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If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? Well, a test is a well thought-out series of questions, usually used in schools to determine a students final grade.

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What did the rap singer say to the other rap singer? "You just got served. Here, read this subpoena and sign it, verifying your understanding of the document."

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Imagine Buzz Lightyear standing on the edge of a cliff. He jumps off hoping to fly. He manages to glide for a little bit until a bird crashes into him a cause one of his wings to break. What happens then? Simply imagine him turning into bird.

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People eat. Thats because we poop. No its the other way around. Sloppy Joes. Thats what my poop looks like. Oh no im eating poop in between two buns!

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Why did people spend $100 on Kanye West's plain white T- shirt? Because it was a good looking T-shirt.

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

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What's white on the top and black on the bottom? Society.

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Dear mom, I'm wearing skinny jeans. If I can't get them off, Neither can the rapist.

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did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg? he's all right now

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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