Wanna know what my grandma said before she kicked the bucket? Hey grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?

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Whats big, purple and hairy. Has 4 eyes and 2 brains? Nothing.

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Fine, you got me there, I have already made sure that you get your compensation, it is the least thing I can do you let me know if anyone claiming to be part of my order bothers you again, I promise I will personally enforce strict guidelines in order to ensure that such a thing never happens again. I hope you will trust me, I will no longer call it the Order of Nero, but as you know we cannot reveal the true name of our order. I also agree to meet you in person so we can further discuss this impeding situation which I will give top priority. Truth is Nero, that I used to be one of your co workers in the underground, and my attempts at saving what is left might not be as ideal as the goals we are set to achieve are, we simply cannot expect that people excel at greatness at the first go. Of course this grave incident is not even near a "mere lack of greatness" but rather a group of people that yes, sadly have rightfully claimed to be members of our society, yet I need you to come to terms that this was a huge oversight in my vision for a new and "improved" underground society, and not a intentional attack at you and your personal security. I submit to your demands, and I ask that you partake in a small number of meetings where we can all discuss and further develop the necessary guidelines required to further solidify our foundation.

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Whats worse than a blonde jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car, and orphaning two little girls who are beat in the orphanage and become homeless and unimportant and consequently jumping off bridges themselves?

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Knock knock. Who's there?

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Paperclip... BANANA?!

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What came first: the chicken or the egg? God.

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What did the pope do when he saw the grinch? He prayed for his soul.

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finding nemo didnt make sense how could a shark go on a no fish diet

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what did the black guy say to the other black guy? good morning

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"Behold, the greatest invention Man has ever seen!" exclaimed the inventor of eyes.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Frank Frank who? I killed your grandma

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WHO IS A CHIKEN???????????? I AM do you got a problem with that!!!!!!

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Why was the little boy sad? Cause his mum died of a terminal illness. Why was the little girl sad? Cause she was his sibling.

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Haikus are rigid, Their structure gives them beauty, And if you ignore the structure they kind of don't make sense and are bad.

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A kid walked in to a bar, grabbed a napkin, and left

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Why did the man have 3 girlfriends? A: because he is a womanizer

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did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg? he's all right now

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Q.why did the car crash? A.becaus eit was drivin by a sack of potatos.

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What was the worst part about the Holocaust? -When it ended

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Yes and no, I am into literature, I am a writer, of how to rape and kill guides for the whole family (raping the whole family that is, again instructions for the whole family with inspirational quotes) Now give an example of each book to each family member without a cover stating what the book is... ...And after the first time, the world was never the same again.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He still lives there.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

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whats red that looks like ketchup taste like ketchup and is't tomato sorce? ketchup

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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