"Behold, the greatest invention Man has ever seen!" exclaimed the inventor of eyes.

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how do you warm someone up? you set their house on fire.

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What did little Jimmy say when he met God ? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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Gues what makes me smile Mouth muscles

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How many Puerto Ricans does it take to clog the treads of my tank? Eight

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what's worse than getting an unwarranted parking ticket? Serving a life sentence for killing the meter man.

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"Knock Knock" "Who the hell is it?" "Patri..." "Go the hell away!"

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What is the favorite song of Lady Di? no, that is a dead person and must be respected.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Haikus are rigid, Their structure gives them beauty, And if you ignore the structure they kind of don't make sense and are bad.

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whats red that looks like ketchup taste like ketchup and is't tomato sorce? ketchup

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a man died

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Why did Justin Beiber cross the road? He didn't because he is still in the closet!

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Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating at night? A: Yell "DROP IT NIGGAH!" Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating in the day time? A: Run away cause your house is haunted.

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What do you call a white person on a leash? A toddler.

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Andrew: who's better at football, Peyton Manning or Tom Brady? Thomas: ur mom

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Jake: "Guys Apple's new phone is going to be curved." Bob: "Who makes curved phones?" Jake: "Apple."

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

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What's the difference between a monkey wrench and a snow cone? A lot.

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What stinks and comes out of someones mouth. Bad Breath

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did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg? he's all right now

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Why was Thomas Jefferson chosen to write the Declaration of Independence? He was an educated man and seemed suitable for said job.

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Seen the new batman movie? [spoiler] the audience dies

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Two girls are sitting quietly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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