How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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What has 142 teeth and can hold back the hulk? My zipper.

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What did the boy say to the stranger at his door? He said, "i'm not supposed to talk to strangers" and closed the door.

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Yidi Huang lives here.

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Q: What do you call a car full of black people? A: Stolen

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How did the Jew escape being put in the gas chamber? He killed himself.

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

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What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

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What do a fish and a car have in common? They are both edible.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, this joke sucks.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face? The man replies "i have a huge malignant tumor in my chin"

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how do you kill 1000 Ethiopians? throw a mars bar off a cliff!

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Why did the man shut up? because he was told to

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Knock Knock Who's There? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'd never forget.

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Why couldn't the Irishman walk in a straight line? Because he was a retard.

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Why did Landry hit the man with a metal pipe? Because he was a rapist and wanted to remove his virgin status.

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"Knock Knock" "Who the hell is it?" "Patri..." "Go the hell away!"

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Yo mamma so fat, she probably has Type Two Diabetes - which is often associated with obesity - and should seek medical advice.

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two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

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Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating at night? A: Yell "DROP IT NIGGAH!" Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating in the day time? A: Run away cause your house is haunted.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Adam said to God, "God, I need a companion." God replied, "OK Adam, but you need to give up a rib." Adam agreed and thus humanity was born.

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Whoevers at the door you should probably go answer it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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