Your mom walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's older than history? Pre-history.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Jake: "Guys Apple's new phone is going to be curved." Bob: "Who makes curved phones?" Jake: "Apple."

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Knock knock. Who's there?

thumb_up thumb_down -92

I used to be an adventurer like you... then I enlisted for much safer guard service with a more steady salary.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Paperclip... BANANA?!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What has wheels and spins round and round? A dog in a wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Get it repaired.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Imagine Buzz Lightyear standing on the edge of a cliff. He jumps off hoping to fly. He manages to glide for a little bit until a bird crashes into him a cause one of his wings to break. What happens then? Simply imagine him turning into bird.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A Pilot

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

JFK

thumb_up thumb_down -45

69

thumb_up thumb_down -47

There once was a man from Nantucket. He still lives there.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down +16

If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? Well, a test is a well thought-out series of questions, usually used in schools to determine a students final grade.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

thumb_up thumb_down

whats red that looks like ketchup taste like ketchup and is't tomato sorce? ketchup

thumb_up thumb_down

What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Mary Lu was swinging on a swing * swush swush* and her mom was sweeping the porch when she sad Mary Lu go get that big fat shiny quarter on that road then Mary Lu say how about you get your self that big fat shiny quarter.! Her mom drop the broom in discussed and walkout into the road and was bout to bend down when swush a bus runs her over And Mary Lu just laughed and laughed she knew that wasn't a big fat shiny quarter it was a nickel!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red Roses are pink Roses are yellow Roses are white

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Andrew: who's better at football, Peyton Manning or Tom Brady? Thomas: ur mom

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops