What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

Mary Lu was swinging on a swing * swush swush* and her mom was sweeping the porch when she sad Mary Lu go get that big fat shiny quarter on that road then Mary Lu say how about you get your self that big fat shiny quarter.! Her mom drop the broom in discussed and walkout into the road and was bout to bend down when swush a bus runs her over And Mary Lu just laughed and laughed she knew that wasn't a big fat shiny quarter it was a nickel!!!!

Wanna know what my grandma said before she kicked the bucket? Hey grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?

WHO IS A CHIKEN???????????? I AM do you got a problem with that!!!!!!

Jake: "Guys Apple's new phone is going to be curved." Bob: "Who makes curved phones?" Jake: "Apple."

A man walks into a bar. - - - - - - - - -

Why did Helen Keller cross the road? BECAUSE SHE WAS A BITCH!

Jews.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other practices law for a living.

What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

What is a pirate's favorite kind of pizza? Cheese.

How do you call blond girl with no arms and no legs ? A victim of a tragic car accident.

Why was the black man afraid of the chainsaw? Because its a potentially dangerous weapon

Why did the chicken cross the road? I have not seen chicken since I was very young, on my parents' farm. This is before the Cossacks slaughtered them. I can still hear screams of sister as soldiers ravaged her. But back to question, where did you see chicken? I am very, very hungry.

What does Helen Keller put at the end of every sentence? A period.

There once was a man from Nantucket. He still lives there.

Why are you going to thumbs this joke up? Because I use the words "Chuck Norris" Thus making it impossible to not thumbs up.

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

What did the the policeman say to the band member who trashed a hotel room? "You're under arrest" The band member replied "Well, you're under a vest" The policeman reiterates that this isn't the time to be making any jokes and that vandalism is a very serious offence

why did the chicken cross the road? because he happened to cross the road

Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

Roses are red Roses are pink Roses are yellow Roses are white

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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