How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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What did the priest say to the rabbi ? I'm gay.

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What's white on the top and black on the bottom? Society.

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A blond was driving her car one day when "Party in the USA" came one the radio. She put her hands up; however, she realized she had to keep control of the car. She put one hand back on the steering wheel and arrived to her destination safely.

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Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

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How do you starve a black man? You don't feed him.

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Once upon a time, your face.

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what is it called when a woman is president. The Apacolypse.

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Q: Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? A: He was looking for pooh

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You are so gay you frequently, and consentingly are sodomized by men and frivolously enjoy it.

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How do you call blond girl with no arms and no legs ? A victim of a tragic car accident.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face? The man replies "i have a huge malignant tumor in my chin"

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Why did the doctor have no peins? She was a woman.

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what do you call a man that looks like will ferrel? jim

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Why did Landry hit the man with a metal pipe? Because he was a rapist and wanted to remove his virgin status.

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Yo mamma so fat, she probably has Type Two Diabetes - which is often associated with obesity - and should seek medical advice.

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What's blue and has two windows ? The sky, i lied about the windows.

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Yidi Huang lives here.

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why did the man fall off the swing? he got hit in the back of the head with a shovel.

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So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

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how do you kill 1000 Ethiopians? throw a mars bar off a cliff!

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What happens when you put a squid in the microwave? It dies.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She never got her drivers license.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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