If you are riding a horse, how many watermelons does it take to kill a giraffe? Platypus.

"Lack of sleep" is that like... Sleep deprivation?

whats arrogant, has blonde hair and belongs in the kitchen? Gordon Ramsay

Why couldn't Michael ask out Mary? Because Mary had been dead for dead for 10 years.

Yidi Huang lives here.

a man died

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She was capable of loving and caring for a dog.

If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? Well, a test is a well thought-out series of questions, usually used in schools to determine a students final grade.

What is the favorite song of Lady Di? no, that is a dead person and must be respected.

Why did Justin Beiber cross the road? He didn't because he is still in the closet!

Wanna know what my grandma said before she kicked the bucket? Hey grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?

Q. How much wood would a Wood-Chuck chuck if a Wood-Chuck could chuck wood? A. Wood-Chuck's clearly cant chuck would so what is the point of trying to figure out a question that would never take place in real life?

how do you warm someone up? you set their house on fire.

What do you call a submarine full of soldiers shot by a torpedo? Tragic war heros, that we will remember and honor

Why was the little boy sad? Cause his mum died of a terminal illness. Why was the little girl sad? Cause she was his sibling.

Why didn't the hungry woman get up and make herself some food? She has Lou Gehrig disease and any movement she makes results in excruciating pain.

Dear mom, I'm wearing skinny jeans. If I can't get them off, Neither can the rapist.

How do you stop a rhino from charging? Try not to antagonise it.

Why did Jim fall out of the tree? Because Jim is a leaf.

The 80's

What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

Then help me understand Nero, people had the free and legal right to decide to be a part of our, or your society if you prefer, where has that option gone now? Where is the people that choose to believe in their own potential and in the one of their equals? Today we live in a society where its basically pop culture to dislike oneself, where it is considered narcissism to like oneself, and you know that we have both been affected, while those we considered allies before, have joined the same people that branded us evil.

Your mother is so succsessfull that she can have any job she wants, she is probally going to stick with her current job though, She is a lawyer.

what do you call a black man on the moon? Kid Cudi

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...