A blonde, brunette and redhead are stuck on an island that is a mile away from any civilisation.The blonde decides to swim to find help. The blonde swims half a mile, has a rest and then carries on swimming.

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How do you fit 6000000 jews into a car? 1 in the front, 1 in the back and the rest in the ashtray.

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Fine, you got me there, I have already made sure that you get your compensation, it is the least thing I can do you let me know if anyone claiming to be part of my order bothers you again, I promise I will personally enforce strict guidelines in order to ensure that such a thing never happens again. I hope you will trust me, I will no longer call it the Order of Nero, but as you know we cannot reveal the true name of our order. I also agree to meet you in person so we can further discuss this impeding situation which I will give top priority. Truth is Nero, that I used to be one of your co workers in the underground, and my attempts at saving what is left might not be as ideal as the goals we are set to achieve are, we simply cannot expect that people excel at greatness at the first go. Of course this grave incident is not even near a "mere lack of greatness" but rather a group of people that yes, sadly have rightfully claimed to be members of our society, yet I need you to come to terms that this was a huge oversight in my vision for a new and "improved" underground society, and not a intentional attack at you and your personal security. I submit to your demands, and I ask that you partake in a small number of meetings where we can all discuss and further develop the necessary guidelines required to further solidify our foundation.

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What do you call a pakie flying a plane The pilot... or a terrorist it up to you

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What is white and when it falls, your fridge is broken? Your fridge.

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Did you hear what happened when the President, the Pope and the Dalai Lama went golfing? Neither did I.

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whats a dexter whats a died? HaHaHaHaHa Im so so funny

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? It's a spicy sort of stew, you'd enjoy it.

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Q: what did the common cold say to the cough? A: you are SO annoying!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had to arms. Knock knock Who's there? Well clearly not Sally

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What is a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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What is it called when your friend tells you that Justin Beiber was laid? Lying.

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what did the angry asian man do after chrashing his car? He died later in the hospital that night from a combination of severe head trauma, internal bleeding, and various fractures.

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An elephant walks into a bar. He nearly levels the entire structure as he forced his way through the front door.

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Q: John has 400 cookies, 200 hundred are chocolate chip and the rest are sugar. John eats 100 of each, what does he have now? A: Diabetes

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Three men stood before Saint Peter at the pearly white gates. They were then sent straight to Hell for committing mass suicide in hopes of reaching a higher state of being through a device located on a meteor.

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whats gay and can do flips? A gymnast

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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What items don't float? A school bus full of children

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if a dinosaurs could talk, what would they say nothing their all dead

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Am I the boss.No I was just offered the job

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Whats worse than a blonde jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car, and orphaning two little girls who are beat in the orphanage and become homeless and unimportant and consequently jumping off bridges themselves?

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what is worse then breaking on arm breaking two arms what is worse then breaking two arms the holocaust what is then the holocaust Obama care.

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Did you hear about the blond who went to college? She got her masters. became and environmental scientist, married a nice man, and had two wonderful children. After retiring at age 65, she spent the rest of her days living in a cozy beachside house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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