Patient: Hey doc, I think I might have a tumor... Doc: Don't worry, it's all in your head.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Cancer

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What do you call a submarine full of soldiers shot by a torpedo? Tragic war heros, that we will remember and honor

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if a dinosaurs could talk, what would they say nothing their all dead

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What do you call it when a black guy runs down a hill? A male of African descent sprinting down a geographical landform that extends above the surrounding terrain.

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whats bright and yellow? the sun.

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What stinks and comes out of someones mouth. Bad Breath

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I used to be an adventurer like you... then I enlisted for much safer guard service with a more steady salary.

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A man walks into a school, he then proceeds to gun down the majority of the students before taking his own life. What a sad, sad day.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Oh, they were just nailing a notice of foreclosure to the door.

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Theres a black a guy and a mexican in a car, whos driving? The black guy, they are best friends and happen to both be neurosurgeons.

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Q: Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? A: He was looking for pooh

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Why did Billy start crying? Becuase he's fat and stupid and noboy loves him

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People eat. Thats because we poop. No its the other way around. Sloppy Joes. Thats what my poop looks like. Oh no im eating poop in between two buns!

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"Lack of sleep" is that like... Sleep deprivation?

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Jake: "Guys Apple's new phone is going to be curved." Bob: "Who makes curved phones?" Jake: "Apple."

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Am I the boss.No I was just offered the job

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What is white and when it falls, your fridge is broken? Your fridge.

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A bear walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender knows that bears can't talk and realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and rolls over to tell his wife about the dream. She hears the joke, but turns away from him and pretends to be asleep. Then the bartender begins to cry. His marriage is in shambles.

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You can eat a pie. You can eat a chicken. But you cannot eat a human being because that would be called cannibalism and cannibalism is a felony that can give the government a right to hold you in an international detainment facility for up to 40 years.

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Why did Henry jump of a cliff? He was in deep depression.

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What is the difference between a cow and a pig? To get to the other side.

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Why was the Blonde Crying? -because she had just witnessed her infant get sucked through a jet engine and was very sad.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? A disgusting halfbreed which prays daily for its own euthenasia...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops