Did you hear about the blond who went to college? She got her masters. became and environmental scientist, married a nice man, and had two wonderful children. After retiring at age 65, she spent the rest of her days living in a cozy beachside house.

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Why did Billy start crying? Becuase he's fat and stupid and noboy loves him

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The 80's

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What did the rap singer say to the other rap singer? "You just got served. Here, read this subpoena and sign it, verifying your understanding of the document."

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Your mom walks into a bar.

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What did little Jimmy say when he met God ? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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A bear walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender knows that bears can't talk and realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and rolls over to tell his wife about the dream. She hears the joke, but turns away from him and pretends to be asleep. Then the bartender begins to cry. His marriage is in shambles.

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Watermelons don't have feet.

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What did the the policeman say to the band member who trashed a hotel room? "You're under arrest" The band member replied "Well, you're under a vest" The policeman reiterates that this isn't the time to be making any jokes and that vandalism is a very serious offence

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what is it called when a woman is president. The Apacolypse.

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Why did the black man die? Because he fell off a cliff.

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Whats big, purple and hairy. Has 4 eyes and 2 brains? Nothing.

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knock knock your nana had a cardiac arrest and thankfull dead now

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dumpster full of dead babies? There isn't a Ferrari in my garage.

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Am I the boss.No I was just offered the job

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What do you call it when a black guy runs down a hill? A male of African descent sprinting down a geographical landform that extends above the surrounding terrain.

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You can eat a pie. You can eat a chicken. But you cannot eat a human being because that would be called cannibalism and cannibalism is a felony that can give the government a right to hold you in an international detainment facility for up to 40 years.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She was capable of loving and caring for a dog.

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what did the angry asian man do after chrashing his car? He died later in the hospital that night from a combination of severe head trauma, internal bleeding, and various fractures.

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If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? Well, a test is a well thought-out series of questions, usually used in schools to determine a students final grade.

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What is more scary than an AK47,blood,and 99999 naughty children? Nothing problaly :p

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Seen the new batman movie? [spoiler] the audience dies

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finding nemo didnt make sense how could a shark go on a no fish diet

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Your mom is so stupid she went back to collage and got her masters n buissnes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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