What did little Jimmy say when he met God ? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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What do you call a submarine full of soldiers shot by a torpedo? Tragic war heros, that we will remember and honor

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Phillip has 200 pieces of candy, Phillip eats 185 pieces of that candy, what does Phillip have left? Diabetes, Phillip has diabetes.

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Am I the boss.No I was just offered the job

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Yo mama so fat, she was accepted to a clinical trial for treatment of morbid obesity in middle-aged women.

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What do you call it when a black guy runs down a hill? A male of African descent sprinting down a geographical landform that extends above the surrounding terrain.

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What did the the policeman say to the band member who trashed a hotel room? "You're under arrest" The band member replied "Well, you're under a vest" The policeman reiterates that this isn't the time to be making any jokes and that vandalism is a very serious offence

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what is worse then breaking on arm breaking two arms what is worse then breaking two arms the holocaust what is then the holocaust Obama care.

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What is the difference between a cow and a pig? To get to the other side.

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How was the fifty-four year old counselor in nineteen places at once? He was blasted by a cannonball.

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how do you warm someone up? you set their house on fire.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? IT WAS DEAD.

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shall i compare thee to a summers day, no, because thee are ugly, yay

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You can eat a pie. You can eat a chicken. But you cannot eat a human being because that would be called cannibalism and cannibalism is a felony that can give the government a right to hold you in an international detainment facility for up to 40 years.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had to arms. Knock knock Who's there? Well clearly not Sally

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Theres a black a guy and a mexican in a car, whos driving? The black guy, they are best friends and happen to both be neurosurgeons.

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What stinks and comes out of someones mouth. Bad Breath

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What did the rap singer say to the other rap singer? "You just got served. Here, read this subpoena and sign it, verifying your understanding of the document."

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Why did Billy start crying? Becuase he's fat and stupid and noboy loves him

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if a dinosaurs could talk, what would they say nothing their all dead

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Why was the little boy sad? Cause his mum died of a terminal illness. Why was the little girl sad? Cause she was his sibling.

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What did the white guy say to the Mexican when he entered the US? How was your flight?

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Once upon a time, there was a gorilla who found Suzie. Suzie was mauled because she had no arms

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A kid walked in to a bar, grabbed a napkin, and left

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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