Q: What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A: A blue plastic bag in the wind.

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finding nemo didnt make sense how could a shark go on a no fish diet

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why did the lion get lost? because the jungle is massive.

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What happened when the irishman left the bar? he didnt

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Why Did The Girl Cry? Old People Are Funny.

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how do you warm someone up? you set their house on fire.

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? BECAUSE SHE WAS A BITCH!

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Knock knock. Who's there?

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When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

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Im ashamed of being from Canada

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a man died

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Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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What do you eat for breakfast and is sometimes blue? Pancakes.

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A Pilot

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Knock Knock Whos there? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour who? Wait aren't you the one who's supposed to supposed tell the punchline? Oh Yeah

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Two gay guys walk into a Hooters... They order cheese fries and enjoy their meal.

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Yes and no, I am into literature, I am a writer, of how to rape and kill guides for the whole family (raping the whole family that is, again instructions for the whole family with inspirational quotes) Now give an example of each book to each family member without a cover stating what the book is... ...And after the first time, the world was never the same again.

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Q: Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? A: Because he's dead.

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Jake: "Guys Apple's new phone is going to be curved." Bob: "Who makes curved phones?" Jake: "Apple."

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How did the black man get out of the bathroom? He opened the door.

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What happens when you put a squid in the microwave? It dies.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He still lives there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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