a mom tell her kid not to play with knives ten years later tells her kid not to play with knives and the kid asks y and the mom says because ur older brother killed his father and himself playing with knives so the kid said mom i promise i wont do that then kils his mom and himself

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Knock Knock There was no answer as the house was empty.

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How do you make a clown sad? Kill his family.

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what is hollow and bloody? Vagina when it gets genital herpes

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why did the man die? because he died.

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Why couldn't the Irishman walk in a straight line? Because he was a retard.

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What's the difference between a monkey wrench and a snow cone? A lot.

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Yeah Aodhans been typing up everything strting argument along with taggart

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your mum. Oh hi mum, the doors unlocked

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roses are red, violets are blue my name is hitler, good bye jew

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Roses are red Violets are red Oh god I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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How do you make a Trucker cry? Kill his family and chop of his arms.

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What did one narwhal say to another Hi ;)

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Women's rights... Are a legitimate concern in today's society.

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William and Kate do get off their ass and do something useful for once instead of hogging the cover of intouch magazine.

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Yes and no, I am into literature, I am a writer, of how to rape and kill guides for the whole family (raping the whole family that is, again instructions for the whole family with inspirational quotes) Now give an example of each book to each family member without a cover stating what the book is... ...And after the first time, the world was never the same again.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because that it where his friend Bob lives.

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What's the difference between a black man and a pile of shit ? One is a black man, the other is a pile of shit.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

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Gues what makes me smile Mouth muscles

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

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What did jell say to the carriage driver from Uzbekistan that was underpaid and had no banter? Oh My God ROFLMAOOTG (the last three are "on the ground") "I will beat you with a small child that I will soon feed to the T-Rex's" should be on the list.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? He received many presents because his parents loved him very much.

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What do you call one black guy surrounded by eleven white guys? Wayne Simmonds

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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