Roses are red Roses are pink Roses are yellow Roses are white

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how do you warm someone up? you set their house on fire.

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What's the difference between a monkey wrench and a snow cone? A lot.

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Paperclip... BANANA?!

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She never got her drivers license.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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finding nemo didnt make sense how could a shark go on a no fish diet

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why did the lion get lost? because the jungle is massive.

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Why Did The Girl Cry? Old People Are Funny.

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Knock Knock Whos there? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour who? Wait aren't you the one who's supposed to supposed tell the punchline? Oh Yeah

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Q: Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? A: Because he's dead.

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Jake: "Guys Apple's new phone is going to be curved." Bob: "Who makes curved phones?" Jake: "Apple."

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When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

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What is green with wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Im ashamed of being from Canada

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Ya know how when geese fly in a V-shape, one side is longer than the other? -Yes Do you know why that is? -No Because there's more geese on that side

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9/11

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Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

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a man died

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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What do you eat for breakfast and is sometimes blue? Pancakes.

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A Pilot

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knock knock whos there not me

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Two gay guys walk into a Hooters... They order cheese fries and enjoy their meal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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