Phillip has 200 pieces of candy, Phillip eats 185 pieces of that candy, what does Phillip have left? Diabetes, Phillip has diabetes.

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What did the priest say to the rabbi ? I'm gay.

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Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

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How do you starve a black man? You don't feed him.

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Q: What do you call a car full of black people? A: Stolen

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What is the favorite song of Lady Di? no, that is a dead person and must be respected.

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Mary Lu was swinging on a swing * swush swush* and her mom was sweeping the porch when she sad Mary Lu go get that big fat shiny quarter on that road then Mary Lu say how about you get your self that big fat shiny quarter.! Her mom drop the broom in discussed and walkout into the road and was bout to bend down when swush a bus runs her over And Mary Lu just laughed and laughed she knew that wasn't a big fat shiny quarter it was a nickel!!!!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why Did The Girl Cry? Old People Are Funny.

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Why do chinese firefighters wear white belts in their firefighting uniforms? So the their pants stay up.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face? The man replies "i have a huge malignant tumor in my chin"

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how do you kill 1000 Ethiopians? throw a mars bar off a cliff!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? IT WAS DEAD.

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What's the difference between a black man and a pile of shit ? One is a black man, the other is a pile of shit.

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Knock Knock Who's There? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'd never forget.

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Jews.

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Why did Landry hit the man with a metal pipe? Because he was a rapist and wanted to remove his virgin status.

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What did the boy say to the stranger at his door? He said, "i'm not supposed to talk to strangers" and closed the door.

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Ya know how when geese fly in a V-shape, one side is longer than the other? -Yes Do you know why that is? -No Because there's more geese on that side

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what is it called when a woman is president. The Apacolypse.

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How did the Jew escape being put in the gas chamber? He killed himself.

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Knock knock Who's There? Idk, who the **** names their kid There?

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So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

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You are so gay you frequently, and consentingly are sodomized by men and frivolously enjoy it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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