When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

Im ashamed of being from Canada

What happens when you put a squid in the microwave? It dies.

Haikus are rigid, Their structure gives them beauty, And if you ignore the structure they kind of don't make sense and are bad.

Why couldn't the Irishman walk in a straight line? Because he was a retard.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? It's a spicy sort of stew, you'd enjoy it.

what do you call a disabled black man getting beat up? an unfortunate human

roses are red, violets are blue my name is hitler, good bye jew

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

Theres a black a guy and a mexican in a car, whos driving? The black guy, they are best friends and happen to both be neurosurgeons.

Knock Knock Whos there? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour who? Wait aren't you the one who's supposed to supposed tell the punchline? Oh Yeah

Roses are red Roses are pink Roses are yellow Roses are white

A blonde, brunette and redhead are stuck on an island that is a mile away from any civilisation.The blonde decides to swim to find help. The blonde swims half a mile, has a rest and then carries on swimming.

WHO IS A CHIKEN???????????? I AM do you got a problem with that!!!!!!

Why did Helen Keller cross the road? BECAUSE SHE WAS A BITCH!

why did the internet crash? it didn't

What's the difference between a monkey wrench and a snow cone? A lot.

If life gives you lemons, you shoud be thankful it didn't give you AIDS.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

9/11

What did the mime say when he met the clown. Nothing.

Why does Brianne cry? Because she has no family.

Why was Thomas Jefferson chosen to write the Declaration of Independence? He was an educated man and seemed suitable for said job.

what do you call a pig that knows karate? pork-chop!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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