Paperclip... BANANA?!

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She never got her drivers license.

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Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

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what do you call a pig that knows karate? pork-chop!

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finding nemo didnt make sense how could a shark go on a no fish diet

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What do you eat for breakfast and is sometimes blue? Pancakes.

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Why Did The Girl Cry? Old People Are Funny.

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Roses are red Roses are pink Roses are yellow Roses are white

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Jake: "Guys Apple's new phone is going to be curved." Bob: "Who makes curved phones?" Jake: "Apple."

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Haikus are rigid, Their structure gives them beauty, And if you ignore the structure they kind of don't make sense and are bad.

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a man died

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A Pilot

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A blonde, brunette and redhead are stuck on an island that is a mile away from any civilisation.The blonde decides to swim to find help. The blonde swims half a mile, has a rest and then carries on swimming.

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Q: Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? A: Because he's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have not seen chicken since I was very young, on my parents' farm. This is before the Cossacks slaughtered them. I can still hear screams of sister as soldiers ravaged her. But back to question, where did you see chicken? I am very, very hungry.

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What happens when you put a squid in the microwave? It dies.

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What's the difference between a monkey wrench and a snow cone? A lot.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your mum. Oh hi mum, the doors unlocked

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What do you get when you combine KIA and NOKIA? A cheap vehicle with a cheap mobile phone inside.

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what did the angry asian man do after chrashing his car? He died later in the hospital that night from a combination of severe head trauma, internal bleeding, and various fractures.

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What did the mime say when he met the clown. Nothing.

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9/11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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