If life gives you lemons, you shoud be thankful it didn't give you AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

a man died

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why Did The Girl Cry? Old People Are Funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A blonde, brunette and redhead are stuck on an island that is a mile away from any civilisation.The blonde decides to swim to find help. The blonde swims half a mile, has a rest and then carries on swimming.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q: Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? A: Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why did the chicken cross the road? I have not seen chicken since I was very young, on my parents' farm. This is before the Cossacks slaughtered them. I can still hear screams of sister as soldiers ravaged her. But back to question, where did you see chicken? I am very, very hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Im ashamed of being from Canada

thumb_up thumb_down -165

What happens when you put a squid in the microwave? It dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +118

Knock knock! Who's there? Your mum. Oh hi mum, the doors unlocked

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you get when you combine KIA and NOKIA? A cheap vehicle with a cheap mobile phone inside.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She never got her drivers license.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was Thomas Jefferson chosen to write the Declaration of Independence? He was an educated man and seemed suitable for said job.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what do you call a pig that knows karate? pork-chop!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

your mammas so fat she has to buy pants in the xxlarge section of the store

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you eat for breakfast and is sometimes blue? Pancakes.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What happened when the irishman left the bar? he didnt

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red Roses are pink Roses are yellow Roses are white

thumb_up thumb_down -18

knock knock whos there not me

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How did the black man get out of the bathroom? He opened the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -90

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops