Knock knock. Who's there? I'm insecure about my body.

why did the chicken not cross the road? He ran

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he happened to be walking in that general direction.

Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

Why couldn't the Irishman walk in a straight line? Because he was a retard.

Why are you going to thumbs this joke up? Because I use the words "Chuck Norris" Thus making it impossible to not thumbs up.

Jews.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other practices law for a living.

Why does Brianne cry? Because she has no family.

How do you call blond girl with no arms and no legs ? A victim of a tragic car accident.

why did the kid fall over and break his neck? Because he slipped on the ice-cream from the kid who got hit by a bus.

I used to be an adventurer like you... then I enlisted for much safer guard service with a more steady salary.

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

British Dentistry

why did the chicken cross the road? because he happened to cross the road

Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

How does a black guy who murdered his wife get out of jail? He serves his sentence and is allowed to return back home.

Why Did The Girl Cry? Old People Are Funny.

Roses are Red Violets are blue Goldfish

Why was the teacher laying on the floor? Because shes dead...

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

Why was the black man afraid of the chainsaw? Because its a potentially dangerous weapon

I love you, you live me. Now get the FUDGE out of the tree!!!

What do a fish and a car have in common? They are both edible.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...