What do you call a submarine full of soldiers shot by a torpedo? Tragic war heros, that we will remember and honor

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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What's white and sticky? Glue.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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BALL SO HARD... That I got kicked off the team for intentionally fouling other players whenever I got on the court, I'm sorry

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How do you make an eggroll? You push it.

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A dog walks into a bar and asks for a pint.. But is immediately turned away as dogs are not allowed in pubs.

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If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? Well, a test is a well thought-out series of questions, usually used in schools to determine a students final grade.

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Women's rights... Are a legitimate concern in today's society.

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How does a black guy who murdered his wife get out of jail? He serves his sentence and is allowed to return back home.

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Patient: Hey doc, I think I might have a tumor... Doc: Don't worry, it's all in your head.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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A man walks into a school, he then proceeds to gun down the majority of the students before taking his own life. What a sad, sad day.

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Why are you going to thumbs this joke up? Because I use the words "Chuck Norris" Thus making it impossible to not thumbs up.

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Roses are red Violets are red Oh god I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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Q: John has 400 cookies, 200 hundred are chocolate chip and the rest are sugar. John eats 100 of each, what does he have now? A: Diabetes

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Two gay guys walk into a Hooters... They order cheese fries and enjoy their meal.

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WHO IS A CHIKEN???????????? I AM do you got a problem with that!!!!!!

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Why did the President Truman approve the use a nuke over Hiroshima? Sending Chuck Norris was widely considered to be too cruel.

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Why did the Asian man have a small penis? Because he was flaccid.

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What does Helen Keller put at the end of every sentence? A period.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He still lives there.

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I used to be an adventurer like you... then I enlisted for much safer guard service with a more steady salary.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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