Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face? The man replies "i have a huge malignant tumor in my chin"

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme Others don't

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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what did the poor kid get from santa? Nothing santa hates poor kid, but the rich kid got a very nice convertable.

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Magic is another word for "poorly perceived analysis of the mechanics of this complex instrumentality we call optical illusion."

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why did the man die? because he died.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Wherever you left it

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? It's a spicy sort of stew, you'd enjoy it.

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What's the difference between Justin Beeber and a Basett hound? I don't know.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? He received many presents because his parents loved him very much.

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What did the boy say to the stranger at his door? He said, "i'm not supposed to talk to strangers" and closed the door.

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If life gives you lemons, you shoud be thankful it didn't give you AIDS.

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Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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How do you make a clown sad? Kill his family.

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Jim: Can you shoot a basketball with one hand? Moe: There's no such thing as a basketball with one hand.

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Why did a young boy fall off a building? Gravity.

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Ever heard of a funny black guy? Me either

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Roses are red Violets are red Oh god I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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yeah..

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two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he can't fly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops