Q: Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? A: Because he's dead.

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How do you make a clown sad? Kill his family.

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A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a bar and the bartender says "Hello. What could I get for you?" The black man had a Manhattan. The Hispanic man had a Bloody Mary. The Jew merely had water, as his religion forbids alcohol. The trio enjoy their drinks and then exit the establishment.

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what is hollow and bloody? Vagina when it gets genital herpes

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your mum. Oh hi mum, the doors unlocked

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Jews.

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Theres a black a guy and a mexican in a car, whos driving? The black guy, they are best friends and happen to both be neurosurgeons.

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finding nemo didnt make sense how could a shark go on a no fish diet

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Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

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Why was the baby crying? It wasn't it got hit by a bus and died.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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How do you call blond girl with no arms and no legs ? A victim of a tragic car accident.

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Whoevers at the door you should probably go answer it.

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Why do chinese firefighters wear white belts in their firefighting uniforms? So the their pants stay up.

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Why did the Asian man have a small penis? Because he was flaccid.

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Whats worse than a blonde jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car, and orphaning two little girls who are beat in the orphanage and become homeless and unimportant and consequently jumping off bridges themselves?

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Hey man how was your trip? great!!! It blew my mind

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What's the difference between a monkey wrench and a snow cone? A lot.

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Roses are red Violets are red Oh god I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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what is the difference between having sex and having sex on my period ..... i have something to drink when i have sex on my period

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Why Did The Girl Cry? Old People Are Funny.

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What do a fish and a car have in common? They are both edible.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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