Roses are red Violets are red Oh god I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

Ya know how when geese fly in a V-shape, one side is longer than the other? -Yes Do you know why that is? -No Because there's more geese on that side

"Knock Knock" "Who the hell is it?" "Patri..." "Go the hell away!"

How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? IT WAS DEAD.

Yes and no, I am into literature, I am a writer, of how to rape and kill guides for the whole family (raping the whole family that is, again instructions for the whole family with inspirational quotes) Now give an example of each book to each family member without a cover stating what the book is... ...And after the first time, the world was never the same again.

Two gay guys walk into a Hooters... They order cheese fries and enjoy their meal.

WHO IS A CHIKEN???????????? I AM do you got a problem with that!!!!!!

What does Helen Keller put at the end of every sentence? A period.

There once was a man from Nantucket. He still lives there.

I used to be an adventurer like you... then I enlisted for much safer guard service with a more steady salary.

A dog walks into a bar and asks for a pint.. But is immediately turned away as dogs are not allowed in pubs.

Why was Thomas Jefferson chosen to write the Declaration of Independence? He was an educated man and seemed suitable for said job.

Imagine Buzz Lightyear standing on the edge of a cliff. He jumps off hoping to fly. He manages to glide for a little bit until a bird crashes into him a cause one of his wings to break. What happens then? Simply imagine him turning into bird.

finding nemo didnt make sense how could a shark go on a no fish diet

How does a black guy who murdered his wife get out of jail? He serves his sentence and is allowed to return back home.

Mary Lu was swinging on a swing * swush swush* and her mom was sweeping the porch when she sad Mary Lu go get that big fat shiny quarter on that road then Mary Lu say how about you get your self that big fat shiny quarter.! Her mom drop the broom in discussed and walkout into the road and was bout to bend down when swush a bus runs her over And Mary Lu just laughed and laughed she knew that wasn't a big fat shiny quarter it was a nickel!!!!

What's older than history? Pre-history.

hi

Why did the President Truman approve the use a nuke over Hiroshima? Sending Chuck Norris was widely considered to be too cruel.

Why did the Asian man have a small penis? Because he was flaccid.

A man walks into a bar. - - - - - - - - -

roses are red, violets are blue my name is hitler, good bye jew

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? - It was dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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