Q: Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? A: Because he's dead.

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? BECAUSE SHE WAS A BITCH!

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What is green with wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Paperclip... BANANA?!

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Q: What do you call a car full of black people? A: Stolen

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Jews.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

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the Holocaust. Because anything involving the Holocaust is automatically an anti joke. the Holocaust wasn't funny.

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How do you call blond girl with no arms and no legs ? A victim of a tragic car accident.

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A man goes to his drug dealer to buy Meth, there is no joke here, he is addicted to meth.

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A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a bar and the bartender says "Hello. What could I get for you?" The black man had a Manhattan. The Hispanic man had a Bloody Mary. The Jew merely had water, as his religion forbids alcohol. The trio enjoy their drinks and then exit the establishment.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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What do you get when you combine KIA and NOKIA? A cheap vehicle with a cheap mobile phone inside.

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What did the boy say to the stranger at his door? He said, "i'm not supposed to talk to strangers" and closed the door.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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A black guy walks into a bar. When he saw the white bartender's bar he got offended. There were heads of hunted animals on the walls. He works for PETA.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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What do a fish and a car have in common? They are both edible.

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Why do chinese firefighters wear white belts in their firefighting uniforms? So the their pants stay up.

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Yo mama's so stupid.....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................uh jk

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Ever heard of a funny black guy? Me either

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Knock Knock Who's There? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'd never forget.

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What's the difference between a duck A chair Vests have no sleeves

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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