Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

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What's worse than getting kicked by a horse? Drowning.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? The hooker is a human being whereas the onion is a vegetable.

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Ya know how when geese fly in a V-shape, one side is longer than the other? -Yes Do you know why that is? -No Because there's more geese on that side

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who drinks pee? katness

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Women's rights... Are a legitimate concern in today's society.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he happened to cross the road

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What do you get if you cross a Black Man with a Knife? Stabbed.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They are both eaten fifteen minutes later.

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Yo mama's so stupid.....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................uh jk

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What is Michael Bay's favorite fruit? Melon

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A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a bar and the bartender says "Hello. What could I get for you?" The black man had a Manhattan. The Hispanic man had a Bloody Mary. The Jew merely had water, as his religion forbids alcohol. The trio enjoy their drinks and then exit the establishment.

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Want to hear the best joke ever? Me too.

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i am a dwarf i have a big nose im a ranga nice to meet you julia

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What do you get when you combine KIA and NOKIA? A cheap vehicle with a cheap mobile phone inside.

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What is the difference between a pizza and the Jews? The pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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What is a pirate's favorite kind of pizza? Cheese.

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the Holocaust. Because anything involving the Holocaust is automatically an anti joke. the Holocaust wasn't funny.

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what is the difference between having sex and having sex on my period ..... i have something to drink when i have sex on my period

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what did the muffin say to the other muffin when they were in the oven? hi, im a muffin

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Why didn't Joe's toaster work anymore? Because he dropped it into the bathtub with him.

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What's older than history? Pre-history.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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