Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme Others don't

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Why did the man cross the road? Because that it where his friend Bob lives.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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Q: What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A: A blue plastic bag in the wind.

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Suzie has no arms and no legs and is on a swing. what happened? she fell and died knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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What do a fish and a car have in common? They are both edible.

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Why did the girl throw butter out the window? She was suffering from an epileptic seizure.

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hi

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A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a bar and the bartender says "Hello. What could I get for you?" The black man had a Manhattan. The Hispanic man had a Bloody Mary. The Jew merely had water, as his religion forbids alcohol. The trio enjoy their drinks and then exit the establishment.

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Gues what makes me smile Mouth muscles

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what is purple and hairy like a bear? A purple bear

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two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

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What do you call one black guy surrounded by eleven white guys? Wayne Simmonds

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What did the gay logger do to the tree with a hole in it? Cut it down.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

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what is the difference between having sex and having sex on my period ..... i have something to drink when i have sex on my period

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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Why did the Asian man have a small penis? Because he was flaccid.

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why do pedo's molest children? because it feels really good.

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9/11

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Im ashamed of being from Canada

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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