Get me a sandwich, bitch

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Why did the boy eat the potato? I don't know. Neather do I. :(

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Tell somebody that someone told you they look like an owl. When they say "Who?" laugh in their face

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Mary Lu was swinging on a swing * swush swush* and her mom was sweeping the porch when she sad Mary Lu go get that big fat shiny quarter on that road then Mary Lu say how about you get your self that big fat shiny quarter.! Her mom drop the broom in discussed and walkout into the road and was bout to bend down when swush a bus runs her over And Mary Lu just laughed and laughed she knew that wasn't a big fat shiny quarter it was a nickel!!!!

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What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like pancakes Ouch! That hurt!

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What do you get if you cross a Black Man with a Knife? Stabbed.

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Why did the President Truman approve the use a nuke over Hiroshima? Sending Chuck Norris was widely considered to be too cruel.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme Others don't

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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who drinks pee? katness

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Why does Brianne cry? Because she has no family.

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Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

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the Holocaust. Because anything involving the Holocaust is automatically an anti joke. the Holocaust wasn't funny.

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why did the lion get lost? because the jungle is massive.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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how do you kill 1000 Ethiopians? throw a mars bar off a cliff!

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knock knock whos there not me

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Poop

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A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a bar and the bartender says "Hello. What could I get for you?" The black man had a Manhattan. The Hispanic man had a Bloody Mary. The Jew merely had water, as his religion forbids alcohol. The trio enjoy their drinks and then exit the establishment.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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