I used to be an adventurer like you... then I enlisted for much safer guard service with a more steady salary.

Why did hale say I have but one life to give for my country? He has one life

You are so gay you frequently, and consentingly are sodomized by men and frivolously enjoy it.

What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

What has wheels and spins round and round? A dog in a wheelchair.

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

finding nemo didnt make sense how could a shark go on a no fish diet

What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

why did the little girl fall off the swing - she had no arms.

Why do chinese firefighters wear white belts in their firefighting uniforms? So the their pants stay up.

if a dinosaurs could talk, what would they say nothing their all dead

Why did the chicken cross the road? I have not seen chicken since I was very young, on my parents' farm. This is before the Cossacks slaughtered them. I can still hear screams of sister as soldiers ravaged her. But back to question, where did you see chicken? I am very, very hungry.

why did the chicken not cross the road? He ran

Ever heard of a funny black guy? Me either

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he happened to be walking in that general direction.

why did the kid fall over and break his neck? Because he slipped on the ice-cream from the kid who got hit by a bus.

Q: What's Lindsay Lohan getting for Christmas? A: AIDS

Paperclip... BANANA?!

Why does Brianne cry? Because she has no family.

9/11

There was a goat and it was eating McDonalds, I just farted and my nuts are itchy.

whats red that looks like ketchup taste like ketchup and is't tomato sorce? ketchup

Why can't the t-Rex clap..... Because it is dead

Why does my ass hurt I played gmod with a blackpeople

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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