I used to be an adventurer like you... then I enlisted for much safer guard service with a more steady salary.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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Once upon a time, your face.

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How do you call blond girl with no arms and no legs ? A victim of a tragic car accident.

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Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a canary! Yes, you are.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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why did the chicken not cross the road? He ran

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he happened to be walking in that general direction.

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Why couldn't the Irishman walk in a straight line? Because he was a retard.

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Why are you going to thumbs this joke up? Because I use the words "Chuck Norris" Thus making it impossible to not thumbs up.

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Jews.

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Why did the man have 3 girlfriends? A: because he is a womanizer

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Why does Brianne cry? Because she has no family.

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Why Did The Girl Cry? Old People Are Funny.

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I love you, you live me. Now get the FUDGE out of the tree!!!

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Why do chinese firefighters wear white belts in their firefighting uniforms? So the their pants stay up.

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why did the kid fall over and break his neck? Because he slipped on the ice-cream from the kid who got hit by a bus.

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British Dentistry

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Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

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An elephant walks into a bar. He nearly levels the entire structure as he forced his way through the front door.

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How does a black guy who murdered his wife get out of jail? He serves his sentence and is allowed to return back home.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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What do a fish and a car have in common? They are both edible.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops