What do you get when you combine KIA and NOKIA? A cheap vehicle with a cheap mobile phone inside.

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Why did Jim fall out of the tree? Because Jim is a leaf.

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What is the difference between a pizza and the Jews? The pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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why did the little girl fall off the swing - she had no arms.

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How do you call blond girl with no arms and no legs ? A victim of a tragic car accident.

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Adam said to God, "God, I need a companion." God replied, "OK Adam, but you need to give up a rib." Adam agreed and thus humanity was born.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They are both eaten fifteen minutes later.

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Why do chinese firefighters wear white belts in their firefighting uniforms? So the their pants stay up.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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What would you get if I your donkey ate my chickens legs? A court order to have them seperated.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

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Jews.

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A tiger walks into a bar. Clearly there is something wrong with animal control.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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Why did the President Truman approve the use a nuke over Hiroshima? Sending Chuck Norris was widely considered to be too cruel.

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Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme Others don't

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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why do pedo's molest children? because it feels really good.

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Why did the boy eat his bagel? He was hungry.

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A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a bar and the bartender says "Hello. What could I get for you?" The black man had a Manhattan. The Hispanic man had a Bloody Mary. The Jew merely had water, as his religion forbids alcohol. The trio enjoy their drinks and then exit the establishment.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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