Two girls are sitting quietly.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why do chinese firefighters wear white belts in their firefighting uniforms? So the their pants stay up.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Andrew: who's better at football, Peyton Manning or Tom Brady? Thomas: ur mom

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Q: Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? A: Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Hi

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why did the chicken cross the road? I have not seen chicken since I was very young, on my parents' farm. This is before the Cossacks slaughtered them. I can still hear screams of sister as soldiers ravaged her. But back to question, where did you see chicken? I am very, very hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

How do you make a clown sad? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a bar and the bartender says "Hello. What could I get for you?" The black man had a Manhattan. The Hispanic man had a Bloody Mary. The Jew merely had water, as his religion forbids alcohol. The trio enjoy their drinks and then exit the establishment.

thumb_up thumb_down -108

Knock knock! Who's there? Your mum. Oh hi mum, the doors unlocked

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Theres a black a guy and a mexican in a car, whos driving? The black guy, they are best friends and happen to both be neurosurgeons.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was the baby crying? It wasn't it got hit by a bus and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

finding nemo didnt make sense how could a shark go on a no fish diet

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What happened when the irishman left the bar? he didnt

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock Knock! Who's There? Whoevers at the door you should probably go answer it.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Yes and no, I am into literature, I am a writer, of how to rape and kill guides for the whole family (raping the whole family that is, again instructions for the whole family with inspirational quotes) Now give an example of each book to each family member without a cover stating what the book is... ...And after the first time, the world was never the same again.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why did the Asian man have a small penis? Because he was flaccid.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Whats worse than a blonde jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car, and orphaning two little girls who are beat in the orphanage and become homeless and unimportant and consequently jumping off bridges themselves?

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Hey man how was your trip? great!!! It blew my mind

thumb_up thumb_down +66

There once was a man from Nantucket. He still lives there.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

What's the difference between a monkey wrench and a snow cone? A lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Roses are red Violets are red Oh god I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops