Knock Knock Whos there? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour who? Wait aren't you the one who's supposed to supposed tell the punchline? Oh Yeah

What do a fish and a car have in common? They are both edible.

Roses are red Roses are pink Roses are yellow Roses are white

Two girls are sitting quietly.

A blonde, brunette and redhead are stuck on an island that is a mile away from any civilisation.The blonde decides to swim to find help. The blonde swims half a mile, has a rest and then carries on swimming.

Q: What is the difference between a tree and a women? A: your mom

Roses are red Violets are red Oh god I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

Theres a black a guy and a mexican in a car, whos driving? The black guy, they are best friends and happen to both be neurosurgeons.

Why does Brianne cry? Because she has no family.

Why was the baby crying? It wasn't it got hit by a bus and died.

How do you call blond girl with no arms and no legs ? A victim of a tragic car accident.

Yo momma is SO black.

Knock Knock! Who's There? Whoevers at the door you should probably go answer it.

Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a canary! Yes, you are.

Hi

what did the poor kid get from santa? Nothing santa hates poor kid, but the rich kid got a very nice convertable.

why did the man die? because he died.

Why was the bear gay. He grew up in a disfunctional home.

There once was a man from Nantucket. He still lives there.

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

what is the difference between having sex and having sex on my period ..... i have something to drink when i have sex on my period

Knock Knock There was no answer as the house was empty.

Why do chinese firefighters wear white belts in their firefighting uniforms? So the their pants stay up.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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