What did the the policeman say to the band member who trashed a hotel room? "You're under arrest" The band member replied "Well, you're under a vest" The policeman reiterates that this isn't the time to be making any jokes and that vandalism is a very serious offence

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What stinks and comes out of someones mouth. Bad Breath

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Flop dog

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What is sad about four lawyers in a car driving of a cliff? The car fit six people.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Cancer

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What has two thumbs and cancer? This guy.

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"Lack of sleep" is that like... Sleep deprivation?

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Jake: "Guys Apple's new phone is going to be curved." Bob: "Who makes curved phones?" Jake: "Apple."

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if a dinosaurs could talk, what would they say nothing their all dead

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What is white and when it falls, your fridge is broken? Your fridge.

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Why did the man shut up? because he was told to

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British Dentistry

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what's worse than getting a bad test grade? being raped.

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What is the difference between a cow and a pig? To get to the other side.

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Why was the Blonde Crying? -because she had just witnessed her infant get sucked through a jet engine and was very sad.

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Why did Billy start crying? Becuase he's fat and stupid and noboy loves him

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What did the rap singer say to the other rap singer? "You just got served. Here, read this subpoena and sign it, verifying your understanding of the document."

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Why did it suck to be a black jew during the Holocaust? cause you had to go to the back of the oven

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Q: a blonde, a brunette, and redhead jump off a cliff, which one hits the ground first? A: Most likely the one that weighs more

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If you are riding a horse, how many watermelons does it take to kill a giraffe? Platypus.

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69

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A bear walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender knows that bears can't talk and realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and rolls over to tell his wife about the dream. She hears the joke, but turns away from him and pretends to be asleep. Then the bartender begins to cry. His marriage is in shambles.

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What do you call it when a black guy runs down a hill? A male of African descent sprinting down a geographical landform that extends above the surrounding terrain.

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what is it called when a woman is president. The Apacolypse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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