Three Jews walk into a bar... I lied, it was a gas chamber.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. "Knock, Knock!" "Who's there?" "Not Sally"

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What was the worst part about the Holocaust? -When it ended

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Phillip has 200 pieces of candy, Phillip eats 185 pieces of that candy, what does Phillip have left? Diabetes, Phillip has diabetes.

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The prefix "con" means bad. The prefix "pro" means good. So what is the opposite of progress? Regress.

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The 80's

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Then help me understand Nero, people had the free and legal right to decide to be a part of our, or your society if you prefer, where has that option gone now? Where is the people that choose to believe in their own potential and in the one of their equals? Today we live in a society where its basically pop culture to dislike oneself, where it is considered narcissism to like oneself, and you know that we have both been affected, while those we considered allies before, have joined the same people that branded us evil.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She was capable of loving and caring for a dog.

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Patient: Hey doc, I think I might have a tumor... Doc: Don't worry, it's all in your head.

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What did the rabbit say to the frog? If you think the rabbit said anything, you need to see a psychiatrist.

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What is Michael Bay's favorite fruit? Melon

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What is the difference between a cow and a pig? To get to the other side.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had to arms. Knock knock Who's there? Well clearly not Sally

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what is it called when a woman is president. The Apacolypse.

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Why did Jim fall out of the tree? Because Jim is a leaf.

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Q: Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? A: He was looking for pooh

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a ghost walks into a bar and sais BOO! The bartender then yelded AAAAHHH! and died of a hart attack.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Cancer

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How do you confuse a blonde? Say eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Why couldn't Michael ask out Mary? Because Mary had been dead for dead for 10 years.

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Q. Which is bigger, a dog or the Statue of Liberty? (Trick question! Think carefully before looking at the answer!) A. The Statue of Liberty.

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What did the white guy say to the Mexican when he entered the US? How was your flight?

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Dear mom, I'm wearing skinny jeans. If I can't get them off, Neither can the rapist.

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What is the difference between you and I? I obviously have a life aas you don't because you are still reading these stupid jokes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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