What did one narwhal say to another Hi ;)

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God

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what do you call a black man on the moon? Kid Cudi

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Fine, you got me there, I have already made sure that you get your compensation, it is the least thing I can do you let me know if anyone claiming to be part of my order bothers you again, I promise I will personally enforce strict guidelines in order to ensure that such a thing never happens again. I hope you will trust me, I will no longer call it the Order of Nero, but as you know we cannot reveal the true name of our order. I also agree to meet you in person so we can further discuss this impeding situation which I will give top priority. Truth is Nero, that I used to be one of your co workers in the underground, and my attempts at saving what is left might not be as ideal as the goals we are set to achieve are, we simply cannot expect that people excel at greatness at the first go. Of course this grave incident is not even near a "mere lack of greatness" but rather a group of people that yes, sadly have rightfully claimed to be members of our society, yet I need you to come to terms that this was a huge oversight in my vision for a new and "improved" underground society, and not a intentional attack at you and your personal security. I submit to your demands, and I ask that you partake in a small number of meetings where we can all discuss and further develop the necessary guidelines required to further solidify our foundation.

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If I said "This AntiJoke will get thumbs up" It will get thumbs up

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Part 1 - Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms! Part 2 - Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy!

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A kid walked in to a bar, grabbed a napkin, and left

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You can eat a pie. You can eat a chicken. But you cannot eat a human being because that would be called cannibalism and cannibalism is a felony that can give the government a right to hold you in an international detainment facility for up to 40 years.

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Why did Jim fall out of the tree? Because Jim is a leaf.

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Q: What did the bartender say to the Arab as he was walking in? A: Nothing, the bomb had already killed them both.

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Why did it suck to be a black jew during the Holocaust? cause you had to go to the back of the oven

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If you are riding a horse, how many watermelons does it take to kill a giraffe? Platypus.

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Why was the fish disappointed with his grades? They were all below C-level!

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whats arrogant, has blonde hair and belongs in the kitchen? Gordon Ramsay

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A man walks into the bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "Oh, sorry." And proceeds to remove his horse mask.

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What did the pope do when he saw the grinch? He prayed for his soul.

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whats gay and can do flips? A gymnast

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What do you call a Chinese man flying plane? A pilot.

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What did the rabbit say to the frog? If you think the rabbit said anything, you need to see a psychiatrist.

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A bear walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender knows that bears can't talk and realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and rolls over to tell his wife about the dream. She hears the joke, but turns away from him and pretends to be asleep. Then the bartender begins to cry. His marriage is in shambles.

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What's black and blue and red all over Sex

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What is the difference between a pizza and the Jews? The pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Probably cheese, since there really isn't a possesive form of the noun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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