Q. Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A. Because he slipped on his moms three day old tampon.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Good guess!

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When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

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Dear mom, I'm wearing skinny jeans. If I can't get them off, Neither can the rapist.

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Why is the black guy unable to support his family? He's 3 years old.

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what does an Ethiopian man say to greet a Chinese man well, first they must locate a translator fluent in both said languages, but they would most likely say hello

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A seal walks into a club.

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"Knock Knock" "Who the hell is it?" "Patri..." "Go the hell away!"

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what's worse than getting a bad test grade? being raped.

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Why was Thomas Jefferson chosen to write the Declaration of Independence? He was an educated man and seemed suitable for said job.

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Why did the pasta not taste good? Because your mom made it.

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Why did Justin Beiber cross the road? He didn't because he is still in the closet!

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What was the dying boy's last wish? Not to die.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dumpster full of dead babies? There isn't a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? IT WAS DEAD.

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"Lack of sleep" is that like... Sleep deprivation?

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Yo mama so fat, she was accepted to a clinical trial for treatment of morbid obesity in middle-aged women.

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Did you hear what happened when the President, the Pope and the Dalai Lama went golfing? Neither did I.

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shall i compare thee to a summers day, no, because thee are ugly, yay

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A bear walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender knows that bears can't talk and realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and rolls over to tell his wife about the dream. She hears the joke, but turns away from him and pretends to be asleep. Then the bartender begins to cry. His marriage is in shambles.

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What did the muffin say to the other? This isn't logical

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What is the difference between you and I? I obviously have a life aas you don't because you are still reading these stupid jokes.

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British Dentistry

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Your mother is so succsessfull that she can have any job she wants, she is probally going to stick with her current job though, She is a lawyer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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