Why did the black man go to school? So he could graduate with a degree and persue his life in medicine. He later goes on to get his P.H.D. He now supports his healthy family of 5 and living in Idaho, the state of the potato. He has a job as a doctor and is making more than $2M a year. Ha, didn't expect that now did ya.

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Patient: Hey doc, I think I might have a tumor... Doc: Don't worry, it's all in your head.

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What did little Jimmy say when he met God ? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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So a Jewish Family walks into a German Pizzeria. They were very satisfied with the service and ended up tipping the waiter 20%

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knock knock! fu ck off i'm a shift worker trying to sleep

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Why did the Blonde say something stupid? Because she is stupid

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Why is the black guy unable to support his family? He's 3 years old.

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What did the the policeman say to the band member who trashed a hotel room? "You're under arrest" The band member replied "Well, you're under a vest" The policeman reiterates that this isn't the time to be making any jokes and that vandalism is a very serious offence

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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Flop dog

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If you are riding a horse, how many watermelons does it take to kill a giraffe? Platypus.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Cancer

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How do you confuse a blonde? Say eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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"Lack of sleep" is that like... Sleep deprivation?

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A bear walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender knows that bears can't talk and realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and rolls over to tell his wife about the dream. She hears the joke, but turns away from him and pretends to be asleep. Then the bartender begins to cry. His marriage is in shambles.

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A seal walks into a club.

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You can eat a pie. You can eat a chicken. But you cannot eat a human being because that would be called cannibalism and cannibalism is a felony that can give the government a right to hold you in an international detainment facility for up to 40 years.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Oh, they were just nailing a notice of foreclosure to the door.

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"Knock Knock" "Who the hell is it?" "Patri..." "Go the hell away!"

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what's worse than getting a bad test grade? being raped.

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What did the rap singer say to the other rap singer? "You just got served. Here, read this subpoena and sign it, verifying your understanding of the document."

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Q. How much wood would a Wood-Chuck chuck if a Wood-Chuck could chuck wood? A. Wood-Chuck's clearly cant chuck would so what is the point of trying to figure out a question that would never take place in real life?

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Why did it suck to be a black jew during the Holocaust? cause you had to go to the back of the oven

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? IT WAS DEAD.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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