Three men stood before Saint Peter at the pearly white gates. They were then sent straight to Hell for committing mass suicide in hopes of reaching a higher state of being through a device located on a meteor.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did little Jimmy say when he met God ? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

69

thumb_up thumb_down -49

shall i compare thee to a summers day, no, because thee are ugly, yay

thumb_up thumb_down -113

whats a dexter whats a died? HaHaHaHaHa Im so so funny

thumb_up thumb_down -115

When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down -133

Once upon a time, there was a gorilla who found Suzie. Suzie was mauled because she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +126

What did the the policeman say to the band member who trashed a hotel room? "You're under arrest" The band member replied "Well, you're under a vest" The policeman reiterates that this isn't the time to be making any jokes and that vandalism is a very serious offence

thumb_up thumb_down +22

"Knock Knock" "Who the hell is it?" "Patri..." "Go the hell away!"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Did you hear about the blond who went to college? She got her masters. became and environmental scientist, married a nice man, and had two wonderful children. After retiring at age 65, she spent the rest of her days living in a cozy beachside house.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is the difference between a cow and a pig? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Yidi Huang lives here.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She was capable of loving and caring for a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Then help me understand Nero, people had the free and legal right to decide to be a part of our, or your society if you prefer, where has that option gone now? Where is the people that choose to believe in their own potential and in the one of their equals? Today we live in a society where its basically pop culture to dislike oneself, where it is considered narcissism to like oneself, and you know that we have both been affected, while those we considered allies before, have joined the same people that branded us evil.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Flop dog

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is sad about four lawyers in a car driving of a cliff? The car fit six people.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

If you are riding a horse, how many watermelons does it take to kill a giraffe? Platypus.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a pakie flying a plane The pilot... or a terrorist it up to you

thumb_up thumb_down -28

JFK

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why was the fish disappointed with his grades? They were all below C-level!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

You can eat a pie. You can eat a chicken. But you cannot eat a human being because that would be called cannibalism and cannibalism is a felony that can give the government a right to hold you in an international detainment facility for up to 40 years.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did Henry jump of a cliff? He was in deep depression.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did it suck to be a black jew during the Holocaust? cause you had to go to the back of the oven

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops