What did Steegers say when he lost his TARDIS? "The niggers stole it again!"

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a mom tell her kid not to play with knives ten years later tells her kid not to play with knives and the kid asks y and the mom says because ur older brother killed his father and himself playing with knives so the kid said mom i promise i wont do that then kils his mom and himself

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Why did the little girl cry when the x-ray showed her mom had a tumor? It was benign.

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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You can eat a pie. You can eat a chicken. But you cannot eat a human being because that would be called cannibalism and cannibalism is a felony that can give the government a right to hold you in an international detainment facility for up to 40 years.

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ObamaCare

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Q.why did the car crash? A.becaus eit was drivin by a sack of potatos.

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69

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Once upon a time, there was a gorilla who found Suzie. Suzie was mauled because she had no arms

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The prefix "con" means bad. The prefix "pro" means good. So what is the opposite of progress? Regress.

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why do humans have gall bladders? I honestly don't know

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had to arms. Knock knock Who's there? Well clearly not Sally

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What is more scary than an AK47,blood,and 99999 naughty children? Nothing problaly :p

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She was capable of loving and caring for a dog.

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Andy Warhol said we will all be famous for fifteen minutes. My soccer coach molested me and the trial was televised, they obscured my face and voice because I was twelve at the time.

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What has two thumbs and cancer? This guy.

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Backwards write to fun is it. As long as its forward. Emu

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Why couldn't Michael ask out Mary? Because Mary had been dead for dead for 10 years.

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Why did people spend $100 on Kanye West's plain white T- shirt? Because it was a good looking T-shirt.

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What did the white guy say to the Mexican when he entered the US? How was your flight?

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A blond was driving her car one day when "Party in the USA" came one the radio. She put her hands up; however, she realized she had to keep control of the car. She put one hand back on the steering wheel and arrived to her destination safely.

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what is it called when a woman is president. The Apacolypse.

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What is the difference between a cow and a pig? To get to the other side.

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What stinks and comes out of someones mouth. Bad Breath

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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