Am I the boss.No I was just offered the job

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Yo mama so fat, she was accepted to a clinical trial for treatment of morbid obesity in middle-aged women.

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

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What is the priest favorite book? The Bible

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what does an Ethiopian man say to greet a Chinese man well, first they must locate a translator fluent in both said languages, but they would most likely say hello

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Why did the little girl cry when the x-ray showed her mom had a tumor? It was benign.

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what is it called when a woman is president. The Apacolypse.

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what's worse than getting a bad test grade? being raped.

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Why did the pasta not taste good? Because your mom made it.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra

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Backwards write to fun is it. As long as its forward. Emu

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. "Knock, Knock!" "Who's there?" "Not Sally"

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What do you call a pakie flying a plane The pilot... or a terrorist it up to you

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What is Michael Bay's favorite fruit? Melon

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knock knock! fu ck off i'm a shift worker trying to sleep

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The prefix "con" means bad. The prefix "pro" means good. So what is the opposite of progress? Regress.

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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Q: What did the bartender say to the Arab as he was walking in? A: Nothing, the bomb had already killed them both.

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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Do you know what a lion really is? It's an over sized cat.

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How do you fit 6000000 jews into a car? 1 in the front, 1 in the back and the rest in the ashtray.

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Watermelons don't have feet.

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What is it called when your friend tells you that Justin Beiber was laid? Lying.

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Yidi Huang lives here.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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