What has two thumbs and cancer? This guy.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. "Knock, Knock!" "Who's there?" "Not Sally"

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what does an Ethiopian man say to greet a Chinese man well, first they must locate a translator fluent in both said languages, but they would most likely say hello

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A man walks into a school, he then proceeds to gun down the majority of the students before taking his own life. What a sad, sad day.

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Did you hear about the blond who went to college? She got her masters. became and environmental scientist, married a nice man, and had two wonderful children. After retiring at age 65, she spent the rest of her days living in a cozy beachside house.

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what is it called when a woman is president. The Apacolypse.

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Then help me understand Nero, people had the free and legal right to decide to be a part of our, or your society if you prefer, where has that option gone now? Where is the people that choose to believe in their own potential and in the one of their equals? Today we live in a society where its basically pop culture to dislike oneself, where it is considered narcissism to like oneself, and you know that we have both been affected, while those we considered allies before, have joined the same people that branded us evil.

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Why did the pasta not taste good? Because your mom made it.

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Why did Justin Beiber cross the road? He didn't because he is still in the closet!

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What was the dying boy's last wish? Not to die.

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What is sad about four lawyers in a car driving of a cliff? The car fit six people.

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Why did the black man go to school? So he could graduate with a degree and persue his life in medicine. He later goes on to get his P.H.D. He now supports his healthy family of 5 and living in Idaho, the state of the potato. He has a job as a doctor and is making more than $2M a year. Ha, didn't expect that now did ya.

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Three men stood before Saint Peter at the pearly white gates. They were then sent straight to Hell for committing mass suicide in hopes of reaching a higher state of being through a device located on a meteor.

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Patient: Hey doc, I think I might have a tumor... Doc: Don't worry, it's all in your head.

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Three Jews walk into a bar... I lied, it was a gas chamber.

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knock knock! fu ck off i'm a shift worker trying to sleep

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Why did the Blonde say something stupid? Because she is stupid

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Once upon a time, there was a gorilla who found Suzie. Suzie was mauled because she had no arms

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Dear mom, I'm wearing skinny jeans. If I can't get them off, Neither can the rapist.

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Why is the black guy unable to support his family? He's 3 years old.

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What is the difference between you and I? I obviously have a life aas you don't because you are still reading these stupid jokes.

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What did the the policeman say to the band member who trashed a hotel room? "You're under arrest" The band member replied "Well, you're under a vest" The policeman reiterates that this isn't the time to be making any jokes and that vandalism is a very serious offence

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What is a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had to arms. Knock knock Who's there? Well clearly not Sally

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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