What came first: the chicken or the egg? God.

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how do you double your cash? You rip it in half.

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If you are riding a horse, how many watermelons does it take to kill a giraffe? Platypus.

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Why did the man shut up? because he was told to

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knock knock! fu ck off i'm a shift worker trying to sleep

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What did Brielle say when she fell off the swing? Ow.

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How do you starve a black man? You don't feed him.

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what's worse than getting an unwarranted parking ticket? Serving a life sentence for killing the meter man.

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What was the dying boy's last wish? Not to die.

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whats gay and can do flips? A gymnast

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Q. Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A. Because he slipped on his moms three day old tampon.

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what does an Ethiopian man say to greet a Chinese man well, first they must locate a translator fluent in both said languages, but they would most likely say hello

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How many aborigines does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They have no idea what electricity is.

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You know what's funnier than 24? 25.

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whats round red and taste like candy? such a thing doesn't exist

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What is a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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Why couldn't Michael ask out Mary? Because Mary had been dead for dead for 10 years.

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What is Michael Bay's favorite fruit? Melon

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Yo mama so fat, she was accepted to a clinical trial for treatment of morbid obesity in middle-aged women.

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Q. Which is bigger, a dog or the Statue of Liberty? (Trick question! Think carefully before looking at the answer!) A. The Statue of Liberty.

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A bear walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender knows that bears can't talk and realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and rolls over to tell his wife about the dream. She hears the joke, but turns away from him and pretends to be asleep. Then the bartender begins to cry. His marriage is in shambles.

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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What's worse than finding a hair in your sandwitch? Finding a dead baby in your salad!

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Why did Billy start crying? Becuase he's fat and stupid and noboy loves him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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