pizzano is a tool.

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a mom tell her kid not to play with knives ten years later tells her kid not to play with knives and the kid asks y and the mom says because ur older brother killed his father and himself playing with knives so the kid said mom i promise i wont do that then kils his mom and himself

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Why couldn't Michael ask out Mary? Because Mary had been dead for dead for 10 years.

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A batch of muffins is cooking in the oven, one muffin says to the others "it's hot in here!" the other muffins don't respond because they're muffins. He's the only of his kind.

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Q: Why did the man take a shower? A: because he was dirty.

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Watermelons don't have feet.

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Two gay guys hosted a barbecue. The music and food was great. Everyone had a good time.

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whats round red and taste like candy? such a thing doesn't exist

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What's worse than finding a hair in your sandwitch? Finding a dead baby in your salad!

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What did the girl say to her tits? I wanna suck u.

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What did Steegers say when he lost his TARDIS? "The niggers stole it again!"

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What is Michael Bay's favorite fruit? Melon

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Why is the black guy unable to support his family? He's 3 years old.

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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what's worse than getting a bad test grade? being raped.

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Mitch

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Why did the color blind man cut the red wire and accidentally blew himself up and all the other people involved in the situation? Because he didn't know how to defuse a bomb.

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ObamaCare

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Why did the black man go to school? So he could graduate with a degree and persue his life in medicine. He later goes on to get his P.H.D. He now supports his healthy family of 5 and living in Idaho, the state of the potato. He has a job as a doctor and is making more than $2M a year. Ha, didn't expect that now did ya.

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What has two thumbs and cancer? This guy.

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What do you call a pakie flying a plane The pilot... or a terrorist it up to you

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

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what is it called when a woman is president. The Apacolypse.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She was capable of loving and caring for a dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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