What's worse than finding a hair in your sandwitch? Finding a dead baby in your salad!

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Mitch

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how do you double your cash? You rip it in half.

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What did the girl say to her tits? I wanna suck u.

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How was the fifty-four year old counselor in nineteen places at once? He was blasted by a cannonball.

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Why was the fish disappointed with his grades? They were all below C-level!

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What was the worst part about the Holocaust? -When it ended

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What is Michael Bay's favorite fruit? Melon

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Good for him. Thats wonderful!

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A bear walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender knows that bears can't talk and realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and rolls over to tell his wife about the dream. She hears the joke, but turns away from him and pretends to be asleep. Then the bartender begins to cry. His marriage is in shambles.

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What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

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Why did the little girl cry when the x-ray showed her mom had a tumor? It was benign.

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How many aborigines does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They have no idea what electricity is.

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The prefix "con" means bad. The prefix "pro" means good. So what is the opposite of progress? Regress.

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A man walks into the bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "Oh, sorry." And proceeds to remove his horse mask.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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whats arrogant, has blonde hair and belongs in the kitchen? Gordon Ramsay

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Why couldn't Michael ask out Mary? Because Mary had been dead for dead for 10 years.

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Am I the boss.No I was just offered the job

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A Jew, an African American, and a homosexual are on an island. They all came to Manhattan for different reasons and are enjoying the lives they've built there.

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What is a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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Milk MILK MILK MILK M-I-L-K M-I-L-K M-I-L-K M_I_L_K M_I_L_K M_I_L_K What do cows drink? Water, and if you thought it was milk, your probably retarded.

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How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

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Why did it suck to be a black jew during the Holocaust? cause you had to go to the back of the oven

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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