What has two thumbs and cancer? This guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. "Knock, Knock!" "Who's there?" "Not Sally"

thumb_up thumb_down -31

pizzano is a tool.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

a mom tell her kid not to play with knives ten years later tells her kid not to play with knives and the kid asks y and the mom says because ur older brother killed his father and himself playing with knives so the kid said mom i promise i wont do that then kils his mom and himself

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What do you call a pakie flying a plane The pilot... or a terrorist it up to you

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Why couldn't Michael ask out Mary? Because Mary had been dead for dead for 10 years.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

What is Michael Bay's favorite fruit? Melon

thumb_up thumb_down -55

A batch of muffins is cooking in the oven, one muffin says to the others "it's hot in here!" the other muffins don't respond because they're muffins. He's the only of his kind.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Q: Why did the man take a shower? A: because he was dirty.

thumb_up thumb_down +96

How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Watermelons don't have feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

whats round red and taste like candy? such a thing doesn't exist

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what is it called when a woman is president. The Apacolypse.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's worse than finding a hair in your sandwitch? Finding a dead baby in your salad!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the girl say to her tits? I wanna suck u.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Am I the boss.No I was just offered the job

thumb_up thumb_down -46

A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

thumb_up thumb_down -112

Why is the black guy unable to support his family? He's 3 years old.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

You can eat a pie. You can eat a chicken. But you cannot eat a human being because that would be called cannibalism and cannibalism is a felony that can give the government a right to hold you in an international detainment facility for up to 40 years.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what's worse than getting a bad test grade? being raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Mitch

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the color blind man cut the red wire and accidentally blew himself up and all the other people involved in the situation? Because he didn't know how to defuse a bomb.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

ObamaCare

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops