Why couldn't Michael ask out Mary? Because Mary had been dead for dead for 10 years.

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A batch of muffins is cooking in the oven, one muffin says to the others "it's hot in here!" the other muffins don't respond because they're muffins. He's the only of his kind.

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Q: Why did the man take a shower? A: because he was dirty.

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Watermelons don't have feet.

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Two gay guys hosted a barbecue. The music and food was great. Everyone had a good time.

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whats round red and taste like candy? such a thing doesn't exist

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What's worse than finding a hair in your sandwitch? Finding a dead baby in your salad!

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you ever put a vibrating phone on your b a l l s ???

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What did Steegers say when he lost his TARDIS? "The niggers stole it again!"

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Why is the black guy unable to support his family? He's 3 years old.

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what's worse than getting a bad test grade? being raped.

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Mitch

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ObamaCare

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Why did the black man go to school? So he could graduate with a degree and persue his life in medicine. He later goes on to get his P.H.D. He now supports his healthy family of 5 and living in Idaho, the state of the potato. He has a job as a doctor and is making more than $2M a year. Ha, didn't expect that now did ya.

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What has two thumbs and cancer? This guy.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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What do you call a pakie flying a plane The pilot... or a terrorist it up to you

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what is it called when a woman is president. The Apacolypse.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She was capable of loving and caring for a dog.

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What did the girl say to her tits? I wanna suck u.

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Three men stood before Saint Peter at the pearly white gates. They were then sent straight to Hell for committing mass suicide in hopes of reaching a higher state of being through a device located on a meteor.

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knock knock your nana had a cardiac arrest and thankfull dead now

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whats arrogant, has blonde hair and belongs in the kitchen? Gordon Ramsay

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69

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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