What is the difference between a pizza and the Jews? The pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

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A cruise ship took sail. It was about a mile out into the water already. The blonde had missed the ship when it set sail. She was only capable of swimming a mile. She swam a half a mile out after the ship, and then turned around. She then later died due to a severe case of hypothermia due to the temperatures of the water for long periods of time.

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What's funny about an anti-joke? It's a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Why did Henry jump of a cliff? He was in deep depression.

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Oliver O'Farkle walks into a blue room carrying a bag of oranges and Swanson J. Doople walks into the same room in a parallel universe carrying a ballpeen hammer. How much collective space do the two women occupy and will they be able to make the 4pm train to Terre Haute? No, because the train is running late so transportation efficiency on the day in question proves impossible.

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So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

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a priest, a rabbi, and a shaman walk into a bar. they all wish me happy birthday bearing gifts. except there's no rabbi. or priest. or shaman. I'm not in a bar. I'm in my room. alone. i spent most of my birthdays that way.

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Jesus may have walked on water, but Stephen Hawking runs on batteries.

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I saw a man one day i saw him the next day and the next and the next i didn't see him ever again

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Quess what the trash man did today? He took my trash.

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God

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gang-rape.

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My brother found snow in his hair from last year... only people who know me know this joke!!haha -sopie

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What does Helen Keller put at the end of every sentence? A period.

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What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

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the battle of waterloo

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What's black and blue and red all over Sex

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Q: What's worse than death? A: Nothing.

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Why did the pasta not taste good? Because your mom made it.

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Backwards write to fun is it. As long as its forward. Emu

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What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

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Phillip has 200 pieces of candy, Phillip eats 185 pieces of that candy, what does Phillip have left? Diabetes, Phillip has diabetes.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon? 5 comfortably

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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