If Earth is a triangle, then why are trees smart? Because turtles have 4 legs

thumb_up thumb_down -106

Why didn't Superman save the world trade center? He was in a wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

The prefix "con" means bad. The prefix "pro" means good. So what is the opposite of progress? Regress.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What came first: the chicken or the egg? God.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

finding nemo didnt make sense how could a shark go on a no fish diet

thumb_up thumb_down -9

how do you warm someone up? you set their house on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q. Which is bigger, a dog or the Statue of Liberty? (Trick question! Think carefully before looking at the answer!) A. The Statue of Liberty.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Did you hear about the blond who went to college? She got her masters. became and environmental scientist, married a nice man, and had two wonderful children. After retiring at age 65, she spent the rest of her days living in a cozy beachside house.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: what do you call this?: the boi wuz ridin the scool bus and it crased in a wal. A: grammacally flawed

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the black man die? Because he fell off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Wanna know what my grandma said before she kicked the bucket? Hey grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Knock knock. Who's there?

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Q. Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A. Because he slipped on his moms three day old tampon.

thumb_up thumb_down -98

shall i compare thee to a summers day, no, because thee are ugly, yay

thumb_up thumb_down -118

A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

thumb_up thumb_down -118

A man walks into a school, he then proceeds to gun down the majority of the students before taking his own life. What a sad, sad day.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Oliver O'Farkle walks into a blue room carrying a bag of oranges and Swanson J. Doople walks into the same room in a parallel universe carrying a ballpeen hammer. How much collective space do the two women occupy and will they be able to make the 4pm train to Terre Haute? No, because the train is running late so transportation efficiency on the day in question proves impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the stop sign say to the no smoking sign? Stop

thumb_up thumb_down +15

If life gives you lemons, you shoud be thankful it didn't give you AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

If you are riding a horse, how many watermelons does it take to kill a giraffe? Platypus.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops