A man walks into the bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "Oh, sorry." And proceeds to remove his horse mask.

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matt shut up

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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Why did the pasta not taste good? Because your mom made it.

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you ever put a vibrating phone on your b a l l s ???

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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What has two thumbs and cancer? This guy.

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What is the worst part about being a black Jew? Having to sit at the back of the gas chamber.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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pizzano is a tool.

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Q: Why did the man take a shower? A: because he was dirty.

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The prefix "con" means bad. The prefix "pro" means good. So what is the opposite of progress? Regress.

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You can eat a pie. You can eat a chicken. But you cannot eat a human being because that would be called cannibalism and cannibalism is a felony that can give the government a right to hold you in an international detainment facility for up to 40 years.

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why do humans have gall bladders? I honestly don't know

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Milk MILK MILK MILK M-I-L-K M-I-L-K M-I-L-K M_I_L_K M_I_L_K M_I_L_K What do cows drink? Water, and if you thought it was milk, your probably retarded.

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Jesus may have walked on water, but Stephen Hawking runs on batteries.

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Why did the tractor run over the little boy? because he was in the way!

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What did the rabbit say to the frog? If you think the rabbit said anything, you need to see a psychiatrist.

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a mom tell her kid not to play with knives ten years later tells her kid not to play with knives and the kid asks y and the mom says because ur older brother killed his father and himself playing with knives so the kid said mom i promise i wont do that then kils his mom and himself

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Phillip has 200 pieces of candy, Phillip eats 185 pieces of that candy, what does Phillip have left? Diabetes, Phillip has diabetes.

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What do you call a pakie flying a plane The pilot... or a terrorist it up to you

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What is Michael Bay's favorite fruit? Melon

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Good for him. Thats wonderful!

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Why didn't the hungry woman get up and make herself some food? She has Lou Gehrig disease and any movement she makes results in excruciating pain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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