A seal walks into a club.

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You can eat a pie. You can eat a chicken. But you cannot eat a human being because that would be called cannibalism and cannibalism is a felony that can give the government a right to hold you in an international detainment facility for up to 40 years.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who the hell keeps shiting in my garden

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pizzano is a tool.

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Q. Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A. Because he slipped on his moms three day old tampon.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He still lives there.

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A man walks into a school, he then proceeds to gun down the majority of the students before taking his own life. What a sad, sad day.

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The prefix "con" means bad. The prefix "pro" means good. So what is the opposite of progress? Regress.

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Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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69

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Why was the Blonde Crying? -because she had just witnessed her infant get sucked through a jet engine and was very sad.

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mooooh im a cow

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Q: What did the bartender say to the Arab as he was walking in? A: Nothing, the bomb had already killed them both.

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Q: what do you call this?: the boi wuz ridin the scool bus and it crased in a wal. A: grammacally flawed

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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A man walks into a bar. What's missing? The joke.

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Why did it suck to be a black jew during the Holocaust? cause you had to go to the back of the oven

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JFK

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why did the chicken not cross the road? He ran

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What does Helen Keller put at the end of every sentence? A period.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Cancer

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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how do you warm someone up? you set their house on fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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