What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Get it repaired.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Mitch

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are brown Violets are brown Who the hell keeps shiting in my garden

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Three men stood before Saint Peter at the pearly white gates. They were then sent straight to Hell for committing mass suicide in hopes of reaching a higher state of being through a device located on a meteor.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. "Knock, Knock!" "Who's there?" "Not Sally"

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q. Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A. Because he slipped on his moms three day old tampon.

thumb_up thumb_down -96

When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down -134

Why did Justin Beiber cross the road? He didn't because he is still in the closet!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Jesus may have walked on water, but Stephen Hawking runs on batteries.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the fish disappointed with his grades? They were all below C-level!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did Susy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? NOT SUSY!

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Did you hear what happened when the President, the Pope and the Dalai Lama went golfing? Neither did I.

thumb_up thumb_down -105

A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

thumb_up thumb_down -113

shall i compare thee to a summers day, no, because thee are ugly, yay

thumb_up thumb_down -115

Once upon a time, there was a gorilla who found Suzie. Suzie was mauled because she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +124

What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why do humans have gall bladders? I honestly don't know

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Andy Warhol said we will all be famous for fifteen minutes. My soccer coach molested me and the trial was televised, they obscured my face and voice because I was twelve at the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Flop dog

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A dyslexic man walks into a bra

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the guy with Alzheimer's say to his.... Wait, I forgot the joke

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the black man go to school? So he could graduate with a degree and persue his life in medicine. He later goes on to get his P.H.D. He now supports his healthy family of 5 and living in Idaho, the state of the potato. He has a job as a doctor and is making more than $2M a year. Ha, didn't expect that now did ya.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops