What did jell say to the carriage driver from Uzbekistan that was underpaid and had no banter? Oh My God ROFLMAOOTG (the last three are "on the ground") "I will beat you with a small child that I will soon feed to the T-Rex's" should be on the list.

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What is it called when your friend tells you that Justin Beiber was laid? Lying.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You poke-her-face

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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what's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? the holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? three bee stings.

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Why did susy give up in the corner? Cause she couldnt fight off the black man.

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Your mother is so succsessfull that she can have any job she wants, she is probally going to stick with her current job though, She is a lawyer.

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- What's green and invisible? *holds out empty hand* - This cabbage

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What happened when the irishman left the bar? he didnt

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A man walks into a bar. What's missing? The joke.

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What do you call a sexually abusive man. Dad.

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You are so gay you frequently, and consentingly are sodomized by men and frivolously enjoy it.

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If you are riding a horse, how many watermelons does it take to kill a giraffe? Platypus.

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why do humans have gall bladders? I honestly don't know

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Whats big, purple and hairy. Has 4 eyes and 2 brains? Nothing.

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Three men stood before Saint Peter at the pearly white gates. They were then sent straight to Hell for committing mass suicide in hopes of reaching a higher state of being through a device located on a meteor.

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How do you make a clown sad? Throw a brick at him.

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How do you fit 6000000 jews into a car? 1 in the front, 1 in the back and the rest in the ashtray.

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What items don't float? A school bus full of children

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What happened when Satan met God ? Nothing, because neither Satan nor God exist.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He still lives there.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? The hooker is a human being whereas the onion is a vegetable.

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What kind of cat has no tail? Manx cat

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Why didn't Superman save the world trade center? He was in a wheelchair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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