Jesus may have walked on water, but Stephen Hawking runs on batteries.

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Why did the man shut up? because he was told to

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Q. Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A. Because he slipped on his moms three day old tampon.

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whats a dexter whats a died? HaHaHaHaHa Im so so funny

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Good guess!

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What does Helen Keller put at the end of every sentence? A period.

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Watermelons don't have feet.

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What's black and blue and red all over Sex

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Your computer runs so slow that I had to run a virus scan.

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The prefix "con" means bad. The prefix "pro" means good. So what is the opposite of progress? Regress.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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What did the black guy said when he ate a pie? Nothing, he learned not to speak with a full mouth.

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Q: What did the bartender say to the Arab as he was walking in? A: Nothing, the bomb had already killed them both.

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Imagine Buzz Lightyear standing on the edge of a cliff. He jumps off hoping to fly. He manages to glide for a little bit until a bird crashes into him a cause one of his wings to break. What happens then? Simply imagine him turning into bird.

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Mitch

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What did the guy with Alzheimer's say to his.... Wait, I forgot the joke

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Why couldn't Michael ask out Mary? Because Mary had been dead for dead for 10 years.

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82

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A dog walks into a bar and asks for a pint.. But is immediately turned away as dogs are not allowed in pubs.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? i have no idea but i hope he got to the other side safely.

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a ghost walks into a bar and sais BOO! The bartender then yelded AAAAHHH! and died of a hart attack.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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