Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +25

why do humans have gall bladders? I honestly don't know

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's worse than finding a hair in your sandwitch? Finding a dead baby in your salad!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is more scary than an AK47,blood,and 99999 naughty children? Nothing problaly :p

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Jesus may have walked on water, but Stephen Hawking runs on batteries.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the man shut up? because he was told to

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Q. Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A. Because he slipped on his moms three day old tampon.

thumb_up thumb_down -101

whats a dexter whats a died? HaHaHaHaHa Im so so funny

thumb_up thumb_down -115

Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Good guess!

thumb_up thumb_down -119

What does Helen Keller put at the end of every sentence? A period.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Watermelons don't have feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Your computer runs so slow that I had to run a virus scan.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

82

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the black guy said when he ate a pie? Nothing, he learned not to speak with a full mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A dog walks into a bar and asks for a pint.. But is immediately turned away as dogs are not allowed in pubs.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What did the bartender say to the Arab as he was walking in? A: Nothing, the bomb had already killed them both.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Imagine Buzz Lightyear standing on the edge of a cliff. He jumps off hoping to fly. He manages to glide for a little bit until a bird crashes into him a cause one of his wings to break. What happens then? Simply imagine him turning into bird.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Mitch

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What was the dying boy's last wish? Not to die.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the guy with Alzheimer's say to his.... Wait, I forgot the joke

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why couldn't Michael ask out Mary? Because Mary had been dead for dead for 10 years.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Why did the black guy cross the road? i have no idea but i hope he got to the other side safely.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the black man go to school? So he could graduate with a degree and persue his life in medicine. He later goes on to get his P.H.D. He now supports his healthy family of 5 and living in Idaho, the state of the potato. He has a job as a doctor and is making more than $2M a year. Ha, didn't expect that now did ya.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops