Jesus may have walked on water, but Stephen Hawking runs on batteries.

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Why couldn't Michael ask out Mary? Because Mary had been dead for dead for 10 years.

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What did the white guy say to the Mexican when he entered the US? How was your flight?

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Your computer runs so slow that I had to run a virus scan.

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How do you starve a black man? You don't feed him.

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You know what's funnier than 24? 25.

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What did the black guy said when he ate a pie? Nothing, he learned not to speak with a full mouth.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had to arms. Knock knock Who's there? Well clearly not Sally

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Imagine Buzz Lightyear standing on the edge of a cliff. He jumps off hoping to fly. He manages to glide for a little bit until a bird crashes into him a cause one of his wings to break. What happens then? Simply imagine him turning into bird.

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Quess what the trash man did today? He took my trash.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who the hell keeps shiting in my garden

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What did the guy with Alzheimer's say to his.... Wait, I forgot the joke

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What do you call a man with no legs? Disabled.

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Backwards write to fun is it. As long as its forward. Emu

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Why did the man shut up? because he was told to

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Then lets give this another shot, this time we stop questioning how to make others happy, and if that is what makes us happy, then we ask: What else.

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What has five letters and sounds like "trucks?" Vroom

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I dropped two snare drums and a cymbal down a hole earlier. They're probably broken now.

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What's black and blue and red all over Sex

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The prefix "con" means bad. The prefix "pro" means good. So what is the opposite of progress? Regress.

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A man walks into the bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "Oh, sorry." And proceeds to remove his horse mask.

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why do humans have gall bladders? I honestly don't know

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A dog walks into a bar and asks for a pint.. But is immediately turned away as dogs are not allowed in pubs.

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What's worse than finding a hair in your sandwitch? Finding a dead baby in your salad!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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