What do you call a man with no legs? Disabled.

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Why couldn't Michael ask out Mary? Because Mary had been dead for dead for 10 years.

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What happened when Satan met God ? Nothing, because neither Satan nor God exist.

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

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What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

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I dropped two snare drums and a cymbal down a hole earlier. They're probably broken now.

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Two gay guys hosted a barbecue. The music and food was great. Everyone had a good time.

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Why do latins like soccer so much? Because it's a very popular sport in the whole world.

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What did the black guy said when he ate a pie? Nothing, he learned not to speak with a full mouth.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Probably cheese, since there really isn't a possesive form of the noun.

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What did the white guy say to the Mexican when he entered the US? How was your flight?

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What has five letters and sounds like "trucks?" Vroom

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How do you starve a black man? You don't feed him.

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The prefix "con" means bad. The prefix "pro" means good. So what is the opposite of progress? Regress.

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You know what's funnier than 24? 25.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had to arms. Knock knock Who's there? Well clearly not Sally

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What's worse than finding a hair in your sandwitch? Finding a dead baby in your salad!

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Q: What did the bartender say to the Arab as he was walking in? A: Nothing, the bomb had already killed them both.

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Imagine Buzz Lightyear standing on the edge of a cliff. He jumps off hoping to fly. He manages to glide for a little bit until a bird crashes into him a cause one of his wings to break. What happens then? Simply imagine him turning into bird.

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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Backwards write to fun is it. As long as its forward. Emu

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. "Knock, Knock!" "Who's there?" "Not Sally"

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Why did Susy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? NOT SUSY!

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Why did the man shut up? because he was told to

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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