A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Why the long face?" The bartender backhands the man making him fall off of his stool.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A chicken doesn't need a motive to cross a road, it just does.

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Jesus may have walked on water, but Stephen Hawking runs on batteries.

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Why couldn't Michael ask out Mary? Because Mary had been dead for dead for 10 years.

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Why did Susy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? NOT SUSY!

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What happened when Satan met God ? Nothing, because neither Satan nor God exist.

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I dropped two snare drums and a cymbal down a hole earlier. They're probably broken now.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had to arms. Knock knock Who's there? Well clearly not Sally

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What is a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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Did you hear about the blond who went to college? She got her masters. became and environmental scientist, married a nice man, and had two wonderful children. After retiring at age 65, she spent the rest of her days living in a cozy beachside house.

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Quess what the trash man did today? He took my trash.

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What did the guy with Alzheimer's say to his.... Wait, I forgot the joke

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Why did the man shut up? because he was told to

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

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What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

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How do you starve a black man? You don't feed him.

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The prefix "con" means bad. The prefix "pro" means good. So what is the opposite of progress? Regress.

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A man walks into the bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "Oh, sorry." And proceeds to remove his horse mask.

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How did mary and molly have sex it is impossible for two women to perform sex

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What's worse than finding a hair in your sandwitch? Finding a dead baby in your salad!

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Imagine Buzz Lightyear standing on the edge of a cliff. He jumps off hoping to fly. He manages to glide for a little bit until a bird crashes into him a cause one of his wings to break. What happens then? Simply imagine him turning into bird.

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What did the white guy say to the Mexican when he entered the US? How was your flight?

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What has five letters and sounds like "trucks?" Vroom

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What's black and blue and red all over Sex

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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