Your computer runs so slow that I had to run a virus scan.

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Why did Landry hit the man with a metal pipe? Because he was a rapist and wanted to remove his virgin status.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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What did the black guy said when he ate a pie? Nothing, he learned not to speak with a full mouth.

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What do you call a man with no legs? Disabled.

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A batch of muffins is cooking in the oven, one muffin says to the others "it's hot in here!" the other muffins don't respond because they're muffins. He's the only of his kind.

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On a scale of Voldemort to Nigel Thornberry, how large is your nose?

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What does a black man, an Irishman, and a Jewish man all have in common? Male genitalia.

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What did Brielle say when she fell off the swing? Ow.

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Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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matt shut up

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What's worse than finding a hair in your sandwitch? Finding a dead baby in your salad!

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How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

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Q: Why did the man take a shower? A: because he was dirty.

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whats round red and taste like candy? such a thing doesn't exist

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What does a homeless man eat for Thanksgiving? Half of a big mac he found in the dumpster

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What is a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had to arms. Knock knock Who's there? Well clearly not Sally

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Q: What did the bartender say to the Arab as he was walking in? A: Nothing, the bomb had already killed them both.

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Why the long face?" The bartender backhands the man making him fall off of his stool.

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Do you know what a lion really is? It's an over sized cat.

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Why women like NBA players so much? Because they have money.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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