On a scale of Voldemort to Nigel Thornberry, how large is your nose?

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The prefix "con" means bad. The prefix "pro" means good. So what is the opposite of progress? Regress.

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why do humans have gall bladders? I honestly don't know

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Q: What's worse than death? A: Nothing.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who the hell keeps shiting in my garden

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Backwards write to fun is it. As long as its forward. Emu

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Two gay guys hosted a barbecue. The music and food was great. Everyone had a good time.

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Your computer runs so slow that I had to run a virus scan.

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How do you starve a black man? You don't feed him.

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82

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You know what's funnier than 24? 25.

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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Imagine Buzz Lightyear standing on the edge of a cliff. He jumps off hoping to fly. He manages to glide for a little bit until a bird crashes into him a cause one of his wings to break. What happens then? Simply imagine him turning into bird.

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Mitch

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Q. Which is bigger, a dog or the Statue of Liberty? (Trick question! Think carefully before looking at the answer!) A. The Statue of Liberty.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Good guess!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Probably cheese, since there really isn't a possesive form of the noun.

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How did mary and molly have sex it is impossible for two women to perform sex

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What did the young boy say to the adorable kitten? "Aww"

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What's worse than finding a hair in your sandwitch? Finding a dead baby in your salad!

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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What has two thumbs and cancer? This guy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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