Oh no! I forgot the milk!

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What's red and on fire? My crotch

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Scroll down, scroll down, scroll dowScroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! nScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! I love you for sticking with me that whole time.... But your prize is..!!!! Nothing...absolutely nothing, hope you feel good Or you could buy yourself a pony because ponys are nice

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Q: what do you call this?: the boi wuz ridin the scool bus and it crased in a wal. A: grammacally flawed

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Why was young Timmy crying? Unfortunately he had a very rare but serious heart condition and he would probably die within a week.

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Jesus may have walked on water, but Stephen Hawking runs on batteries.

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What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?

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Yo Mumma so dumb she has to climb over a glass wall to see whats on the other side.... Yo Mumma's so fat when she walked past the tv she made me miss 5 series... Yo Mumma's so fat when god said let there be light she had to move out of the road. That's nearly all that I have, but if u have one leave it in the comment

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Milk MILK MILK MILK M-I-L-K M-I-L-K M-I-L-K M_I_L_K M_I_L_K M_I_L_K What do cows drink? Water, and if you thought it was milk, your probably retarded.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? A disgusting halfbreed which prays daily for its own euthenasia...

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What do you call a white person on a leash? A toddler.

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Why didn't the blond resolved the Cold War? Once the blond's socio-economic background was really poor, she didn't have enough education to solve such geopolitical conflict, envolving imperialism, international influence, militar power and scientifical power, still without armed conflicts, as the respective leaders of both United States of America and United Soviet Socialist Republics knew a armed conflict would cost too much lifes, and even in a totally utilitarian society, the benefits of the war to both countries wouldn't be enough to justify the death of thousands. Therefore, its concluded that a meedle class person wouldn't be enough capable to be the charged to solve this kind of tenssion between States, and it would be really silly if someone happened to encharge the blond in issue.

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pizzano is a tool.

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What's uneducated, black, and over six feet tall? A light pole.

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Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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What's green and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Whats big, purple and hairy. Has 4 eyes and 2 brains? Nothing.

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What do you call a black guy with a gun? A soldier.

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What did the white guy say to the Mexican when he entered the US? How was your flight?

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Two gay guys hosted a barbecue. The music and food was great. Everyone had a good time.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Why the long face?" The bartender backhands the man making him fall off of his stool.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops