What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Probably cheese, since there really isn't a possesive form of the noun.

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matt shut up

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69

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How did mary and molly have sex it is impossible for two women to perform sex

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How do you make a clown cry? Kill his wife and kids.

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What do you call a man with no legs? Disabled.

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What do you call a sexually abusive man. Dad.

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What's white on the top and black on the bottom? Society.

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What's black, white and red all over? A popular novel printed in multiple languages.

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On a scale of Voldemort to Nigel Thornberry, how large is your nose?

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Q: Why did the man take a shower? A: because he was dirty.

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A man walks into the bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "Oh, sorry." And proceeds to remove his horse mask.

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Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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What's red and on fire? My crotch

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Why did they name the cat Salty? I have no idea, ask his owner

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What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he is Jewish

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Why did Susy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? NOT SUSY!

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What happened when Satan met God ? Nothing, because neither Satan nor God exist.

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Your computer runs so slow that I had to run a virus scan.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A chicken doesn't need a motive to cross a road, it just does.

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A guy walks into a pub. He cant walk out because hes blind.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who the hell keeps shiting in my garden

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Do you know what a lion really is? It's an over sized cat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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