What do you call a black guy with a gun? A soldier.

Did you hear what happened when the President, the Pope and the Dalai Lama went golfing? Neither did I.

What's black, white and red all over? A popular novel printed in multiple languages.

A man walks into a bar and utters profanity because he's hit his head on a protruding metal object that cannot move out of the way and has therefore made him look stupid because he neglected to walk around it.

What would be a good feature for this site? A search by keyword feature. (sorry...)

A man walks into the bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "Oh, sorry." And proceeds to remove his horse mask.

What did the stop sign say to the no smoking sign? Stop

Yo Mumma so dumb she has to climb over a glass wall to see whats on the other side.... Yo Mumma's so fat when she walked past the tv she made me miss 5 series... Yo Mumma's so fat when god said let there be light she had to move out of the road. That's nearly all that I have, but if u have one leave it in the comment

Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll dowScroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! nScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll dowScroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! nScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll dowScroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! nScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll dowScroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! nScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll dowScroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! nScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll dowScroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! nScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll dowScroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! nScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll dowScroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! nScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll dowScroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! nScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll dowScroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! nScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll dowScroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! nScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll dowScroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! nScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll dowScroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! nScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll dowScroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! nScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! I love you for sticking with me that whole time.... But your prize is..!!!! Nothing...absolutely nothing, hope you feel good Or you could buy yourself a pony because ponys are nice

what did the black guy say to the other black guy? good morning

roses are red, voilets are creepy, i can beat you in call of duty

Three Jews walk into a bar... I lied, it was a gas chamber.

What do you call a sexually abusive man. Dad.

Why did Susy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? NOT SUSY!

What is white and when it falls, your fridge is broken? Your fridge.

I dropped two snare drums and a cymbal down a hole earlier. They're probably broken now.

Oliver O'Farkle walks into a blue room carrying a bag of oranges and Swanson J. Doople walks into the same room in a parallel universe carrying a ballpeen hammer. How much collective space do the two women occupy and will they be able to make the 4pm train to Terre Haute? No, because the train is running late so transportation efficiency on the day in question proves impossible.

why did the baby cry? Someone threw a brick at his head.

matt shut up

What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

How can you get an asian kid to flunk a class? You can't.

Why did the black man die? Because he fell off a cliff.

A guy walks into a pub. He cant walk out because hes blind.

If you are riding a horse, how many watermelons does it take to kill a giraffe? Platypus.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...