How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You poke-her-face

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How did mary and molly have sex it is impossible for two women to perform sex

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Why the long face?" The bartender backhands the man making him fall off of his stool.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did they name the cat Salty? I have no idea, ask his owner

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a man with no legs? Disabled.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why couldn't Michael ask out Mary? Because Mary had been dead for dead for 10 years.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

alex h is such a ginger, that her hair downstairs is red.

thumb_up thumb_down -118

What's white on the top and black on the bottom? Society.

thumb_up thumb_down -158

Q: Why did the man take a shower? A: because he was dirty.

thumb_up thumb_down +85

Why didn't Superman save the world trade center? He was in a wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Roses are brown Violets are brown Who the hell keeps shiting in my garden

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Three men stood before Saint Peter at the pearly white gates. They were then sent straight to Hell for committing mass suicide in hopes of reaching a higher state of being through a device located on a meteor.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why women like NBA players so much? Because they have money.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What happened when Satan met God ? Nothing, because neither Satan nor God exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -87

On a scale of Voldemort to Nigel Thornberry, how large is your nose?

thumb_up thumb_down +98

I dropped two snare drums and a cymbal down a hole earlier. They're probably broken now.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

82

thumb_up thumb_down +28

whats round red and taste like candy? such a thing doesn't exist

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the young boy say to the adorable kitten? "Aww"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A guy walks into a pub. He cant walk out because hes blind.

thumb_up thumb_down

Backwards write to fun is it. As long as its forward. Emu

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A batch of muffins is cooking in the oven, one muffin says to the others "it's hot in here!" the other muffins don't respond because they're muffins. He's the only of his kind.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

A Jew, an African American, and a homosexual are on an island. They all came to Manhattan for different reasons and are enjoying the lives they've built there.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops