Today I looked at a clock and realized that I was late.

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What did the the policeman say to the band member who trashed a hotel room? "You're under arrest" The band member replied "Well, you're under a vest" The policeman reiterates that this isn't the time to be making any jokes and that vandalism is a very serious offence

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What did the black guy said when he ate a pie? Nothing, he learned not to speak with a full mouth.

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why did the baby cry? Someone threw a brick at his head.

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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what's worse than getting a bad test grade? being raped.

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How can you get an asian kid to flunk a class? You can't.

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did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg? he's all right now

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Q: a blonde, a brunette, and redhead jump off a cliff, which one hits the ground first? A: Most likely the one that weighs more

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Why did the boy fail gym? He had cancer and had to amputate both of his legs.

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Jesus may have walked on water, but Stephen Hawking runs on batteries.

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Why didn't the blonde have friends? She couldn't find them at the store.

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Why was the fish disappointed with his grades? They were all below C-level!

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Once upon a time, there was a gorilla who found Suzie. Suzie was mauled because she had no arms

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Why is the black guy unable to support his family? He's 3 years old.

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A Jew, an African American, and a homosexual are on an island. They all came to Manhattan for different reasons and are enjoying the lives they've built there.

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What is the priest favorite book? The Bible

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A man walks into a bar and utters profanity because he's hit his head on a protruding metal object that cannot move out of the way and has therefore made him look stupid because he neglected to walk around it.

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What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What does a homeless man eat for Thanksgiving? Half of a big mac he found in the dumpster

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Probably cheese, since there really isn't a possesive form of the noun.

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what is worse than the holocaust harry' ear acne

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If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? Well, a test is a well thought-out series of questions, usually used in schools to determine a students final grade.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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