Why did the little girl cry when the x-ray showed her mom had a tumor? It was benign.

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The term "serial killer" is a bit strong...i prefer "ghost manufacturer"

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How many aborigines does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They have no idea what electricity is.

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Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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Why couldn't the dog say anything to the cat? It was born deaf.

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Q: What was so funny about the death of Michael Jackson? A: There wasn't anything funny. He was one of the best pop stars ever and many people loved him.

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LIE

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Yo Mumma so dumb she has to climb over a glass wall to see whats on the other side.... Yo Mumma's so fat when she walked past the tv she made me miss 5 series... Yo Mumma's so fat when god said let there be light she had to move out of the road. That's nearly all that I have, but if u have one leave it in the comment

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What did Steegers say when he lost his TARDIS? "The niggers stole it again!"

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Why didn't the blonde have friends? She couldn't find them at the store.

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Why women like NBA players so much? Because they have money.

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Part 1 - Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms! Part 2 - Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy!

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How do you treat a homeless man? Like any other person, you disgusting fuck.

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Q: Why did the man take a shower? A: because he was dirty.

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What is the best type of pepper? Well, some people say that the yellow pepper is the sweetest and most delicious, although others prefer red, green or orange peppers.

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What would be a good feature for this site? A search by keyword feature. (sorry...)

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What does a homeless man eat for Thanksgiving? Half of a big mac he found in the dumpster

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whats round red and taste like candy? such a thing doesn't exist

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What's black and white and red all over A nun falling down the stairs

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A. Four gay men walked into the bar there was one stool left what did they do? B. They flipped the chair upside down By grant c

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N

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Why did the red head never have a boyfriend? She was a lesbian and had always preferred women over men

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Why did the tractor run over the little boy? because he was in the way!

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Why didn't the blond resolved the Cold War? Once the blond's socio-economic background was really poor, she didn't have enough education to solve such geopolitical conflict, envolving imperialism, international influence, militar power and scientifical power, still without armed conflicts, as the respective leaders of both United States of America and United Soviet Socialist Republics knew a armed conflict would cost too much lifes, and even in a totally utilitarian society, the benefits of the war to both countries wouldn't be enough to justify the death of thousands. Therefore, its concluded that a meedle class person wouldn't be enough capable to be the charged to solve this kind of tenssion between States, and it would be really silly if someone happened to encharge the blond in issue.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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