How do two porcupines make love? Well actually it's doubtful that porcupines feel higher emotions like love - they pretty much just mate for reproductive purposes.

What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin boys? Thomas and David after his father and grandfather.

Why was the sea green? because a whale took a piss

Why was young Timmy crying? Unfortunately he had a very rare but serious heart condition and he would probably die within a week.

What do you call a white person on a leash? A toddler.

What is sad about four lawyers in a car driving of a cliff? The car fit six people.

What is white and when it falls, your fridge is broken? Your fridge.

How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon? 5 comfortably

Your computer runs so slow that I had to run a virus scan.

Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.

what kind of animals marriage is high? snails because It has home and car.

A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

roses are grey violets are grey i am color blind

What's green and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

What's the difference between a white man and a black man? The colour of their skin.

Nero, its not that, people are leaving left and right, you where right when you told me that I was holding into the remains of a rotting corpse, the underground society is dead and money alone will never bring it back, but I got the funds and you the talent, is there nothing that can be achieved? You are a lawyer, you write novels, you live a family life, you work for who the hell knows what organization, is this what you traded your, or if I may say, our legacy for? I dont suspect you Nero, I am disappointed in you, part of me wishes you where a backstabber, rather than the one that just quit.

What did the brick say to the face? Nothing bricks don't talk.

On a scale of Voldemort to Nigel Thornberry, how large is your nose?

Two gay guys hosted a barbecue. The music and food was great. Everyone had a good time.

Q: what happens when you eat all the potatoes A: there all gone

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

why did the woman cross the road? to get to her full time job as a lawyer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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