Why didn't the lobster share his treasure? Because he did not possess the cranial capacity to understand the concept of ownership; thus, he did not consider the treasure his

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A man walks into a bar and utters profanity because he's hit his head on a protruding metal object that cannot move out of the way and has therefore made him look stupid because he neglected to walk around it.

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roses are grey violets are grey i am color blind

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Why didn't Superman save the world trade center? He was in a wheelchair.

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82

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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LIE

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What do you call a black guy with a gun? A soldier.

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What did the muffin say to the other? This isn't logical

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the car? We're going to Dairy Queen.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You poke-her-face

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how do you kill a Jewish person? you don't that just fucking mean!

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A plane is flying low over New York City. It's low on fuel and needs to land.

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What do you call a sexually abusive man. Dad.

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What's uneducated, black, and over six feet tall? A light pole.

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how do you make a baby cry? throw bricks at his face.

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Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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Q: What's worse than death? A: Nothing.

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A guy walks into a pub. He cant walk out because hes blind.

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What do you call a gay Jew? I don't know, but Jews are cool.

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How Long Is A Chinaman's Name

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What's the difference between a black man and a white man? Melanin!

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Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Evolutionarily destined to be eaten by a predator such as a wolf or coyote, barring haing a defense mechanism that allows it to fend off such attacks.

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What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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