Why was the sea green? because a whale took a piss

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Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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N

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What do you call a white person on a leash? A toddler.

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Do you know what a lion really is? It's an over sized cat.

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A blond, a brunette and a redhead jump off a cliff. Which one hits the ground last? Depends on their weight and drag co-efficient.

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patient: Doctor, It hurts when I go like this. doctor: Don't do that.

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What did the brick say to the face? Nothing bricks don't talk.

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a Chinese man an and a southern red neck walked into a country club and the chinese man got jumped and he left with no money

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

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How do two porcupines make love? Well actually it's doubtful that porcupines feel higher emotions like love - they pretty much just mate for reproductive purposes.

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A labrador, a chihuahua, and a great dane walk onto a bar. They are strays and were brought to the pound where they were more than likely put down or adopted.

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What the best part of having sex with twenty-eight year olds? Theres 20 of them.

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knock knock your nana had a cardiac arrest and thankfull dead now

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How full could a skeleton's stomach possibly be? Replete with perceptible emptiness.

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how do you kill a Jewish person? you don't that just fucking mean!

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What do you call a gay Jew? I don't know, but Jews are cool.

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Did you hear what happened when the President, the Pope and the Dalai Lama went golfing? Neither did I.

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Watermelons don't have feet.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Me Me who? Oh sorry forgot you had alzheimers :/

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ethan skov ex gf looked like a bull mastifs ring piece

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Three Jews walk into a bar... I lied, it was a gas chamber.

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What do you call a sexually abusive man. Dad.

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a mom tell her kid not to play with knives ten years later tells her kid not to play with knives and the kid asks y and the mom says because ur older brother killed his father and himself playing with knives so the kid said mom i promise i wont do that then kils his mom and himself

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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