Anything Dane Cook says

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Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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What the best part of having sex with twenty-eight year olds? Theres 20 of them.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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What did the brick say to the face? Nothing bricks don't talk.

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What is white and when it falls, your fridge is broken? Your fridge.

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If Earth is a triangle, then why are trees smart? Because turtles have 4 legs

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82

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What is more scary than an AK47,blood,and 99999 naughty children? Nothing problaly :p

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Nero, its not that, people are leaving left and right, you where right when you told me that I was holding into the remains of a rotting corpse, the underground society is dead and money alone will never bring it back, but I got the funds and you the talent, is there nothing that can be achieved? You are a lawyer, you write novels, you live a family life, you work for who the hell knows what organization, is this what you traded your, or if I may say, our legacy for? I dont suspect you Nero, I am disappointed in you, part of me wishes you where a backstabber, rather than the one that just quit.

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what is light brown and looks like sand? sand

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What do you call a gay Jew? I don't know, but Jews are cool.

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Did you hear what happened when the President, the Pope and the Dalai Lama went golfing? Neither did I.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon? 5 comfortably

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How do two porcupines make love? Well actually it's doubtful that porcupines feel higher emotions like love - they pretty much just mate for reproductive purposes.

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The term "serial killer" is a bit strong...i prefer "ghost manufacturer"

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Why was the sea green? because a whale took a piss

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N

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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Why didn't the blonde have friends? She couldn't find them at the store.

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Do you know what a lion really is? It's an over sized cat.

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patient: Doctor, It hurts when I go like this. doctor: Don't do that.

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What do you call a sexually abusive man. Dad.

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a Chinese man an and a southern red neck walked into a country club and the chinese man got jumped and he left with no money

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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