Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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I dropped two snare drums and a cymbal down a hole earlier. They're probably broken now.

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Today I looked at a clock and realized that I was late.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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why did the baby cry? Someone threw a brick at his head.

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69

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What did the young boy say to the adorable kitten? "Aww"

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What's black and buried in my backyard? An African American, I'm a member of the Ku Klux Klan

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You poke-her-face

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Mitch

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What stinks and comes out of someones mouth. Bad Breath

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What's worse than finding a hair in your sandwitch? Finding a dead baby in your salad!

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Someone said you sound like an owl Who?

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Why did they name the cat Salty? I have no idea, ask his owner

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Whats big, purple and hairy. Has 4 eyes and 2 brains? Nothing.

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Why was young Timmy crying? Unfortunately he had a very rare but serious heart condition and he would probably die within a week.

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What's the difference between Skittles and black people? ...I like Skittles.

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Why didn't the blonde have friends? She couldn't find them at the store.

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how do you kill a Jewish person? you don't that just fucking mean!

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Part 1 - Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms! Part 2 - Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy!

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What did the muffin say to the other? This isn't logical

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Why was the sea green? because a whale took a piss

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the car? We're going to Dairy Queen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops