Two computers walk into a bar I forget the rest

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Why do latins like soccer so much? Because it's a very popular sport in the whole world.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You poke-her-face

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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How many people does it take to change a lightbulb? It depends on if the person has a lightbulb of the correct size and wattage...

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What's green and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who the hell keeps shiting in my garden

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how do you kill a Jewish person? you don't that just fucking mean!

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How full could a skeleton's stomach possibly be? Replete with perceptible emptiness.

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Allie said yesssssssss!

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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what did the ninja say to the watermelon nothing that was chuck norris's watermelon

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What did the muffin say to the other? This isn't logical

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A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

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82

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how do you make a baby cry? throw bricks at his face.

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whats bright and yellow? the sun.

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Q: what happens when you eat all the potatoes A: there all gone

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what is light brown and looks like sand? sand

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What happened when Satan met God ? Nothing, because neither Satan nor God exist.

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What's black, white and red all over? A popular novel printed in multiple languages.

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Oliver O'Farkle walks into a blue room carrying a bag of oranges and Swanson J. Doople walks into the same room in a parallel universe carrying a ballpeen hammer. How much collective space do the two women occupy and will they be able to make the 4pm train to Terre Haute? No, because the train is running late so transportation efficiency on the day in question proves impossible.

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Yo Mumma so dumb she has to climb over a glass wall to see whats on the other side.... Yo Mumma's so fat when she walked past the tv she made me miss 5 series... Yo Mumma's so fat when god said let there be light she had to move out of the road. That's nearly all that I have, but if u have one leave it in the comment

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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